The Living Will
by 2carm2carm2
Summary: "In the event of my death, Isabella Marie Swan, upon previous agreement, is to step in and assist Edward Anthony Cullen in the caring of the child, necessitating her to stay at the Cullen residence in which the child lives for six months." When tragedy strikes, a last wish forces Edward and Bella together to deal with their pain, heal and rebuild the lives they lost.
1. Irreversible

_"The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it..._" -Nicholas Sparks

* * *

Irreversible.

If it was irreversible, she wanted to be taken off life support and not left in a vegetative state.

She had made the decision to allow herself to slip through the darkness and away from him. Away from their family. Away from life.

And while he did not fault her for making the decision, it knocked the wind out of him that he had not known.

When he first saw the living will, he did not believe what he was seeing. Disbelief was not an uncommon feeling in the last few days, but he had hoped that this was simply one of those things that was not real. Horror quickly replaced disbelief once he realized that what he was reading was the truth.

And the end of life as he knew it.

~O~

They had gotten married three years ago. The ceremony had taken place in the church she had grown up in with all of their family and friends surrounding them. It was a crisp early June afternoon that had been filled with more joy than he ever thought he would know.

She had been so beautiful. Her big, beautiful eyes had sparkled and her soft red lips were quirked up in a smile as she glided down the aisle on the arm of her father. When he reached her and the priest began to speak, he knew nothing but the soft touch of his love's hands and the awe at the life ahead of them.

The first year of their married life rushed by them in a whirl of laughter, kisses, fights and love making. They lived each day for each other and were so in love that the kisses and laughter far surpassed the fights, which were trivial and inconsequential.

It was a few months after their first anniversary when she told him she was expecting.

And so, nine months passed with more excitement and joy than either thought possible. They moved from an apartment to their first home, an old yet lovely white farm house, which was fair sized and surrounded by nature. She had fallen in love with it at first sight, and he had grown to love as well. They painted, furnished, landscaped and decorated the house while the swell of her belly grew larger. And at nights they would simply rest by the grand stone fireplace, hands resting on their unborn child in a tender embrace.

Four days after they celebrated their 2nd anniversary, she was washing dishes and staring at the window over the sink, daydreaming when she dropped a soapy plate and clutched her abdomen. She called out to her husband who came rushing into the kitchen in more of a panic than she was in.

She had managed not to laugh at him and he had managed to drive to the hospital without crashing. This drive only occurred after she had talked him out of calling an ambulance, careful to hide her smirk in an attempt not to hurt his feelings while speaking.

Twenty six hours. She endured the agony of childbirth while he endured the agony of seeing his wife in pain. And the agony of the blood she drew from his hand in five different places due to her long nails when a contraction hit. But it was mostly difficult to watch her pain.

And after the hours of labor had concluded, sweaty and exhausted they had held a small pink bundle tightly in their arms. Their hearts pounded with excitement as they stared down at their tiny daughter. When both his girls were asleep, he couldn't help but reflect on how blessed his life was.

Parenting had been a challenge for the couple, but one they embraced whole heartedly.

Neither of them had ever been particularly good with infants, a fact that had worried them tirelessly during the nine months leading to their daughter's arrival. He had never been in a situation where he was required to care for a baby, and she had always been admittedly the least maternal among her circle of friends.

But somehow it worked.

The first bath had been a tense experience, but ended in laughs when she sprayed the nozzle of the kitchen sink at him for being an ass. The baby had stared up at them with a look of something akin to exasperation, if that was possible in a newborn. "Sorry, baby girl," he had said with a laugh, "You're stuck with us for the next 18 years."

The late night feedings proved interesting, as did the system of changing diapers they worked out. Well, there wasn't really a system. He usually ended up changing the diapers because she insisted that she did the work at night by feeding her. Since he felt it was valid argument on her part, he complied willingly. Unbeknownst to him, she liked to sit in the hallway and listen to the way he spoke softly to their daughter and calmed her cries.

Their baby grew with each passing day and never failed to be a joy to watch. Soon, she gained control of her neck, learned to sit up, scoot on the floor, and most recent had begun crawling rapidly around the house as she approached her first birthday.

They excitedly planned her 1st birthday celebration like the proud parents that they were. Pastel invites with animated giraffes were sent out to relatives and friends, inviting them to the momentous occasion. The cake was baked and the pink balloons blown up and floating obliviously.

The evening before the event, their daughter began coughing after eating her mashed peas. Her eyes were red around the rims and her nose noticeably runny. When they saw they were out of children's medicine, she offered to go to the store and pick some up some quick.

"It'll be okay, peanut," she promised as she kissed her girl's soft, warm forehead, before she left for the pharmacy, "Daddy's going to take care of you."

"Love you!" she called to him as she slipped through the front door. When she saw the questioning look from her child who was resting in his arms she added with a grin, "And I love you, pumpkin!"

~O~

The steady beeping of the heart monitor was a comfort to him as he sat in a hard armchair in the dim hospital room.

She lay on the hospital bed, pale and sickly looking, but as beautiful as the first day he ever saw her. Her hair still was glossy and her lips heart shaped and captivating. And her hands, he never failed to marvel, were soft as they had ever been.

It had been four days since the accident.

She had been brought into the emergency room bleeding and unconscious after the semi-truck had hit her car. And she had not regained conscious after that evening, despite the tireless attempts through the night of the doctors and surgeons.

When he first heard that his wife was in a coma, he felt his world crumble around him. She was his life and without her, he was nothing.

But beyond the despair, there was still hope.

Though it was small, he found himself clinging to the chance which was slim but existent, that she would awake and he would take her home to their daughter and the nightmare would fade away from them.

But as the days passed, nothing changed. Her eyes never fluttered open no matter how hard he wished and prayed. Her fingers never shifted as he held them tightly in his own. She never felt the tears that ran down his face and onto her hand.

Soon, even the hope he clung to was torn away from him viciously.

On the 4th day, he had gone to the restroom, leaving her for only a moment. However, while he was washing his hands he stared into the mirror and couldn't help but pause. He didn't take note of his unshaven jaw, red rimmed eyes or disheveled hair, but instead, stared blankly at the reflection before him. Who was he? Who was he as a person without her? She was the reason of his being, and had been since the first time he had heard her laugh.

He didn't know the answer, and he prayed he would not have to figure it out.

When he exited the bathroom after splashing cold water in his face he froze. Doctors and nurses were swarming his wife's room in chaos. Panicked, he rushed into the room, only to be escorted out by male nurse who was asking him to move out of the way.

"That's my wife!" he cried desperately.

"Sir, her doctor will speak with you in a moment."

Her parents, disheveled and with red brimmed eyes appeared. "What's going on?"

The nurse held his hands up to calm them. "We will know more in a moment, for now, please move out of the way."

Just as he spoke, they wheeled her out of the room and moved right past them with great speed. He called out her name and would have rushed after her had his father-in-law not had a firm grip on his bicep.

They waited for what felt like hours in the hospital's waiting room. Her parents spoke quietly to each other occasionally but were for the most part quiet, able to find strength in the arms they had around each other. He paced the length of the room, unable to sit still. For he knew as soon as he sat, he would be unable to stop the tears from slipping away from his eyes.

Briefly, he wondered where his baby girl was. He had not seen much of her since the accident had happened. He couldn't bear to look at the eyes that were absolutely identical to her mother's. When he had brought her in to visit her mother and seen her tears, he could not bring himself to do it again, knowing he was not strong enough to watch her young heart break as his already had. He knew that she was safe and either with his family or one of their friends.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, where the devil himself made the seconds drag by at the slowest pace they had ever gone, a doctor he recognized pushed through the swinging doors.

Her parents stood along with him as the doctor made her way slowly over to them.

"We have been monitoring her closely to see if she would remain stable, and unfortunately, things took a turn for the worse this evening and her brain began hemorrhaging due to the head trauma she received from the accident. We did all that we could for her and she fought hard, but the damage was beyond reverse."

He closed his eyes, his knees nearly collapsing with the her words.

"And this means...what?" her mother choked through her tears.

The doctor, a kind woman who he had taken a liking to immediately, had tears of her own in her eyes. "Your daughter has slipped into an irreversible coma. Her brain has lost the ability to function."

It was too much.

Shattered beyond words, he fell into the chair behind him and dropped his face into his hands.

He could form only one coherent thought. His wife had slipped out of his grasp and away from him and their daughter. And he would never be whole again.

The silence pounded against his ears and he found himself in to much pain to even form tears...or thoughts.

Gently, the doctor asked, "Do you know if she had any wishes for this situation?"

His father-in-law sighed brokenly, "She had a living will."

His head shot out of his hands to see her father pulling papers out of his jacket pocket and handing them to the doctor. "She wanted to be taken off life support within twelve hours and her-" he choked on his words, "…and her organs donated."

"What?" he struggled to ask. Never had he known that she had a living will. They had never discussed it and he felt himself fighting to breathe.

"I understand this is very difficult for you," the doctor told him gently, "however it was very considerate of your wife to plan such measures. It can be a heavy burden to carry if the choice is left up to you."

"Do I get to say goodbye?" his voice cracked.

Seeing his unshed tears and knowing they reflected her own, she nodded.

"We are able to give you the next few hours to say goodbye before we will take her into the operating room."

The next few hours passed by for him with numb sense of heartbreak. Her friends, cousins, aunts and uncles and his family that loved her as their own arrived to say goodbye to her, all leaving the room with tears streaming down their faces. Her parents and he would be the last ones in the room.

Their daughter had arrived with his family and he sat in the waiting room in the corner hugging her tightly against his chest, hanging onto her like a life line. The girl was usually unable to sit still and enjoyed squirming, but for an hour, she seemed to sense her father's pain and was content to be held without complaining, knowing she was needed.

His breathing got shaky when he saw her best friend return and her parents rise from their chairs and unsteadily walk in the direction of their only daughter's hospital room. Her brother stood from his seat, having already individually went in, and took his mother's hand, going with them once more.

He felt his breath get caught in his throat as he knew he was the next and last to go. He brushed his nose against their daughter's hair, squeezing his eyes shut tightly, only allowing one lone tear to slip onto her hair.

Sometime later the three of them arrived back in the waiting room. Her parents quickly found a couch in the corner as her mother was sobbing into her father's chest. Her brother walked over to where he was sitting. Wordlessly, her brother held his hand out to him and helped him out of the chair, knowing he would not be able to himself.

Clutching his daughter and trembling, he walked through the doors and down the hallway to his wife's room for the final time.

The tears flowed down his face the moment he saw her lying on the bed with a new ventilator attached with tubing to her mouth. He sat down on the bed next to her and was struck by a memory from their honeymoon.

They had gone to the Caribbean and stayed in a beach villa, frolicking in the surf and lying in the sun for nearly the entire week, content to be just with each other.

On the first day, she had been lying on a towel spread out on the sand, her eyes closed and a smile on her face.

"What are you doing?" he had asked.

"I'm tanning," she replied with a grin.

"Why?" he had wondered.

"Because skin usually looks better with some color," she laughed.

He had been confused. "You notice that kind of stuff?"

"You don't?" she had challenged with a giggle.

"No," he replied honestly, "Since the day I met you, I've never really been able to get past much other than your beautiful eyes."

He remembered that she had laughed and kissed him, though he noticed the blush that had been on her cheeks. It was killing him that he would never see her eyes again, except in the face of his daughter.

"I don't know what to say, sweetheart," he admitted, taking hold of her hand with the hand that was not holding their daughter. "I don't know how to thank you for the past three years of my life. I don't know how to thank you for bringing this beautiful little girl into our lives and helping me raise her and being such an incredible mother.

"I don't know how to thank you for making me feel like the most loved man in the world. And I can't even begin to find the words to thank you for giving me all of your love. You are the best thing that has ever happened in my life, and-"

His breath caught in his throat, and when he kept speaking, his voice was broken, "And I already miss you more than you know."

Their little girl looked up at her dad with the wide eyes of her mother's, crushing his already broken soul.

He watched as she leaned out of his grasp and crawled alongside the bed until she was near his wife's head. Without a word, he watched she leaned her weight forward and rested her forehead against her mother's…the way she gave hugs.

He had to put his hand over his mouth to hold back the sobs of a shattered soul.

The family stayed together for some time while he spoke about the time they met, their wedding and the young life of their daughter and the life they had planned to spend together.

"I could stay here, talking to you forever," he finally whispered. "But it's time for you to go and fly with the angels."

He leaned up to where her face was and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, his lips lingering. "We love you so very much, and forever will."

He let his lips press one last time against her warm forehead. "Thank you for being all I've ever wanted and needed….for being my everything."

He tucked a strand behind her ear, the way she always did. He picked up their daughter, kissing the top of her head as he gave his wife's hand one last squeeze.

As he walked through the door of the room, he knew he was leaving his heart behind with him. He was trying to be strong for their daughter, but he didn't know how he would be able to continue on with his life after it had been shattered.

* * *

_Yesterday I died, tomorrow's bleeding, fall into your sunlight_  
_The future's open wide beyond believing to know why hope dies_  
_Losing what was found, a world so hollow_  
_Suspended in a compromise the silence of this sound is soon to follow_

_And Ive lost who I am , and I can't understand_  
_Why my heart is so broken, rejecting your love_  
_Without love gone wrong lifeless words: carry on_

_Who I am from the start , take me home to my heart_  
_Let me go and I will run, I will not be silenced_  
_All this time spent in vain, wasted years_  
_Wasted gain. All is lost. Hope remains._

_Theres a light, theres a sun taking all the shattered ones_  
_To the place we belong and His love will conquer  
_Shattered, Trading Yesterday

* * *

**AN**: This story is going to be emotional, and deal with sad, heavy stuff. But there's gonna be a lot of fun too. Some people are going to think things go too fast and some will think they go way too slow, but I kindly ask you to be patient and sit back and enjoy the ride that this story is going to take you on. I promise it will be worth it.

Chapters will be longer in length, and questions that I'm sure I've left you all with will be answered. Just stick with me and fall in love with these guys like I have.

You can follow me on Twitter at 2carm2carm2, (link on profile) I will be posting teasers, chapter song links, pictures, answering questions and more. Otherwise you are more than welcome to message me, or of course, review(:

Thank you!


	2. How?

How?

How could this have happened to me?

Throughout the next several days, that was the one thought that always resurfaced at the top of his thoughts. The question plagued him wherever he was, whomever he was with and whatever he was doing. It refused to be silenced.

_How?_

How could the perfect life he had built and loved have been torn away from him so suddenly? Without any rhyme or reason?

There was never an answer.

~O~

The day they had met had been an interesting one to say the least.

They had both been at a large amusement park with mighty roller coasters and constant laughter mixed in with the sound of fair music. He had been dragged in for a day of upset stomachs and funnel cake with his friend and brother. She had planned a trip with four of her friends, something that had been an annual occurrence for the past ten years.

The ride had been called Renegade, and it was a beast of a ride. It was wooden and shaky, yet new and top of the line. There were more climbs and drops than any other coaster in the park.

With five being an odd number and the ride only seating in twos, she had volunteered to ride by herself. He had not wanted to sit next to his brother who had a tendency to whoop and holler the entire duration of the ride, including the slow and long climb to the top. It had grown tiresome. So he had opted for his own seat.

They had both gone to the boarding platform heading straight towards the same spot so to be near their designated groups. And they had arrived at the exact same time, not that either of them saw it that way.

"I'm pretty sure I was here first," she pointed out while wiggling past him.

"What?" he asked incredulously, knowing he had been there first. "Then why did you just have to sneak past me?"

She rolled her eyes, "Because you were standing at a bad angle!"

"A bad angle?" he asked with amusement.

"Yes!"

"I was here first," he insisted, noting how pretty her eyes were shining. They were an incredible, mesmerizing shade he had never seen.

"Okay, sure…but look who's in front of the line?"

He shook his head. "By cheating!"

She grinned at him, "The means are questionable, but it doesn't really change the end result."

"The end result is that you are still in my spot."

"And when did we establish this as _your_ spot?"

"When I got here first."

"Which you didn't actually do," she retorted playfully, "So the point is moot, don't you think?"

"No, I don't think," he disagreed while fighting a grin, "If I thought that, I wouldn't be arguing."

"Well I guess it's irrelevant what you think. I _know_ I got here first."

"Yes," he allowed, "But _I know_ you're wrong...so where does that leave us?"

During their argument two teenage boys had joined them in their small line. They eyed the two young adults with decided irritation.

"Dude!" one of them finally burst, "Just ask her to sit with you! It's not that hard! And then we can all get on with our lives…" he ended with a mutter.

She began giggling when he turned back to her with his eyebrows raised at the scolding he had just gotten.

"How would you like to sit with me?" he asked, letting out a chuckle.

With a smile, she replied, "Well we clearly can't hold up these young gentlemen's lives, so I suppose I can suffer through."

So when the train arrived in the platform and its windblown occupants had shakily stepped off, they had gotten into the two seats that filled their designated row.

"Aren't you going to take your hat off?" she asked, eyeing his Yankees baseball cap as they got situated in their seats.

He twisted it around so that the bill was in the back. "Nah, it'll be fine," he replied.

Soon the employees were walking down the sides of the train, checking the harnesses that strapped them in place. As the women passed him, she politely said, "Sir, you cannot wear your hat on the ride."

He reluctantly took the hat off and handed it to the worker, pointedly ignoring her laughter.

The ride was…hell.

Well, for her anyway.

He had enjoyed it and laughed nearly the whole time as the wind rushed past his face while she let out little shrieks here and there, only making him laugh more. She had a grimace nearly the entire duration of the ride, except the one time she glanced over at him and they had shared a grin.

When the train slowed down, her stomach continued to churn. After it had come to a complete stop and their harnesses were released, she had stood up so rapidly that he was sure he smelled bad.

"Well, thanks for riding with me…" he trailed off when he saw her bolting for the exit of the ride. Realizing that he didn't even know her name, he ran after her without a second thought.

He found her at the end of the exit path, bent over a bush and emptying the contents of her stomach. Concerned, he leaned over and drew her soft long hair away from her face and placed a comforting hand on her back.

When she was finished and thoroughly mortified, she slowly straightened up and looked at him sheepishly.

"Please tell me you aren't a girl who can't stomach a roller coaster," he teased.

She blushed, which he was glad, since she was looking rather pale. "That's the second time that's ever happened to me."

He laughed. "Which ride got you the first time?"

"The Power Tower," she admitted.

"Have you been on it since then?" he asked.

She shook her head back and forth.

"Well, let's go then."

He turned to go in the direction of that ride, but stopped and turned to look at where she was gaping at him.

"Where?" she wondered.

"To the Power Tower!" he exclaimed with a bit of a smirk.

She stared at him in confusion. "But- I just…what?"

"Let's go," he insisted, holding out his hand to her.

"I just told you I puked last time I was on it!" she protested.

He grinned, "Ah, yes but now your stomach is emptied and it's time to face your fears."

"You just meet a girl, go on a roller coaster with her that makes her throw up and want to go with her on the other roller coaster that has made her throw up?"

"That's an accurate description of what has just happened, yes," he agreed.

"You're insane," she pointed out.

He gestured to his outstretched hand. "So that's a yes then?"

Finally she smiled brightly. "Let's go."

She had taken his hand, and after that, nothing could separate them.

~O~

The events that occurred after Edward had left his wife's hospital room for the final time were a blur. He was not sure how many hugs he felt around him. He could not remember the words that were whispered to him. And he was most certainly not sure how he had gotten back to his house with his daughter.

But when he was able to fight the numbness that was overcoming him, he realized that he and his daughter were not the only ones in the house.

"What are you doing here?" he asked emptily.

The woman sitting on the couch who was watching his daughter sleep on a pink quilt had dried tears on her face and an expression as heartbroken as he was sure his was.

"It was in the will," she managed to whisper, meeting his teary gaze.

"What?" He did not understand, nor did he particularly care. The numb feeling continued to drown him.

She opened her mouth to reply, but they were both startled by the whimper that came from his daughter who was beginning to wake up.

Edward began to push himself away from the wall that he was leaning on, but faltered when he realized he did not have the strength.

She rose from the couch and walked over to scoop the little girl up into her arms, tightening them around her securely.

"I will get her to bed. You should try and get some sleep," she suggested, no emotion creeping into her voice.

Edward let his head fall back against the wall, closing his eyes. "I don't know if I can," he admitted.

She nodded. Her gaze showed nothing but empathy and understanding, and he knew she was going through the same thing he was.

"You should try," she said quietly, "for her."

Edward was unsure which "her" she was referring to, whether it be his daughter…or his wife.

The agony that came with even summoning her face to his thoughts nearly crushed him. Without a backwards glance, he pushed away from the wall and slowly crept up the stairs to his bedroom. He wondered how it was possible that someone could age what felt like twenty years in the span of less than a week.

Mechanically he shut the door to their bedroom and wandered into the bathroom, stripping his clothes off slowly. He turned the shower on, not bothering to choose a temperature that he was usually so fussy with.

The water was scalding hot when he stepped inside the porcelain area. It immediately burnt his skin, turning it an angry pink within seconds. He was incapable of feeling the pain of the heat. He braced his hands on the wall underneath the nozzle and rested his forehead against the cool tile.

It wasn't until the water turned cold did he realize he had been standing there, thinking nothing. He wondered how it was possible for a person to exist without thought. But he also found that it was a blessing allowed to him during that time, as the hours that followed were filled with nothing but thought.

As he lay on his back in their bed, strictly on his side of it, he could think of nothing but his wife.

Thoughts that he had been dreading and desperately trying to avoid, managed to slip into his poorly constructed wall. Had she been taken in the operation room yet? Had they removed her vital organs from her yet?

Was she truly gone from the world?

The answer, he knew, was yes.

And he had never felt more alone.

The knowledge that she was gone, and that he was alone was impossible to bear. He had lost the most important thing in his life and their love was not something that could ever be replaced.

The tears streamed silently down his face.

He would have given anything to have fixed her. He would have offered his own mind and soul, anything she needed in order for her to live another day. He would have given his own life in exchange for hers.

Edward knew without a doubt that he would trade anything, pay any price just to hear her laugh one last time.

The night that followed was the longest and worst of his life.

He tossed and turned for hours before giving up the urge to sleep and allowing his thoughts to torment him as he deserved.

Somewhere between 3am and 4am, he had rolled onto his side and found the smell of his wife still lingered on her pillow. The sobs that wracked through his body were fierce and painful. He was not sure how he was able to still produce tears after everything that he had been through since the accident.

By the time that the dawn had begun to break, he knew that he had only gotten less than 20 minutes of sleep.

He lay in bed, more exhausted than when he had tried to sleep last night. His bones were tired and he was weary, so very weary. He was not sure how he was going to be able to get out of bed as he struggled to find a reason as to why he should.

Through the walls he heard his daughter cry out from her crib. And he knew it was her cry which gave him something to hold onto. He was still a father, and that would not be taken away from him.

Pushing himself out of his bed and standing up, he knew that he must live for her, no matter how hard it would be.

He slipped out of his bedroom and across the hall to the nursery, seeing the purple and thinking of his wife with a small smile. She had _not_ wanted pink. She had never liked pink. Purple, however, was her favorite color and their daughter hadn't stood a chance.

Edward reminded himself of the reason that he was in the room in the first place, and pushed the other thoughts out of his mind. He crossed the room to the white crib where their daughter slept and was surprised to find her already asleep. Usually it took him or her to calm her down and get her to sleep again, but she had somehow managed.

He stared down at her for a few moments, only seeing his wife in memories of their daughter. She had been the one to pick out the name Molly, and he had loved it and couldn't imagine calling their daughter anything else.

Molly had her mother's eyes which were large and prominent and the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. She had also gotten her nose, which was small and button like. The rest of her looked like Edward for the most part, something she had always adored about their daughter. But she was wrong, he knew; Molly had gotten her smile and the gift to be able to light up a room with it.

He took his hand off of her soft warm back and stared at the sleeping angel for only a second more before he turned and quietly left the room. Even in the numb state that he was in, he knew he would not survive that day without morning coffee and knew he had to be the one to brew it himself.

When the aroma of the coffee tickled his nose, he was surprised. But then he remembered that it wasn't just him and Molly in the house, as he had not been the one to put her to bed the previous evening. Wordlessly, he poured a large mug of the hot liquid.

Edward found her sitting on the couch in the living room, something she had helped to pick out when the house was first being furnished. She appeared as if she had slept on it from the looks of the messed up blankets and discarded pillow. His brow furrowed when he saw that she was looking at something that was resting on the coffee table.

"What are you doing?" he asked quietly.

She jumped, startled. When he saw her face and the soft tears that were leaking from her eyes, he glanced back at what was on the coffee table. He quickly recognized the photo album she had given their family of the time spanning back to when they had dated.

"Remember this?" she asked softly. She flipped the pages until they were at the first page of the album and thus, the beginning of their relationship.

Edward moved in closer and looked down at the picture she was pointing too. It was from that first day at the amusement park. There were four of them in the picture: the women sitting next to him, Edward and his wife and his brother. They were standing in front of the Power Tower, arms thrown around each other happily with big thumbs ups.

"I could never forget it." He shook his head, a smile on his face as he sat down next to her.

"I thought as soon as we got off that she was going to throw up again," she admitted with a teary grin.

He managed a smile, "You didn't see her when we got off Renegade…I knew there was no possibility she had anything to throw up. It was _all_ in the bushes."

"She always loved telling people how you met," she commented, gazing up at him in shared sad fondness.

"So did I," he replied, looking at the pictures, "we usually ended up interrupting each other's sentences."

"My favorite was how she would-" she broke off with a teary laugh, "she would always end the story with 'And I'll never understand why he thought puking was cute!' and she always said it with such amazement too!"

He chuckled, loving the way she had used to tell stories. She had never been very good at it, something that he had loved to tease her about often.

She wiped the tears from her eyes before they continued to look through the album. They ended up laughing and crying at the memories it had brought over them as they relived the moments captured by photo.

They had made it through the album and left it closed on the coffee table. Each of them cradled their coffee, though neither drank it as they were left to their own thoughts, staring blankly in front of them.

A cry broke through the silence coming from the purple nursery upstairs. She set her coffee down and was about to stand up and go when Edward placed his hand on her arm gently to stop her.

"No," he said quietly, "I'll get her."

She nodded.

"I need this," he added.

She looked up at him, and her gaze told him that she already knew that and understood it somehow.

Molly was sitting up in her crib, tears in her eyes and her face red and upset by the time he entered the room. He picked her up and cradled him against his chest, soothing her cries and rubbing her back gently in an effort to calm her.

"It's okay, baby girl, I'm here."

Eventually she quieted down and cuddled up against him even closer, her lids droopy. He learned down and kissed her soft head. He walked carefully out the room and down the stairs back to where they had just been sitting.

Edward sat down in the spot he had just occupied with Molly dozing back off to sleep in his lap. She leaned over and let her finger gently stroke Molly's soft arm.

"She's so beautiful," she whispered.

He merely nodded, unsure of what words to say.

"She loved Molly more than life itself," she added.

They were silent for a few moments. Edward took comfort in the soft but steady beating of her heart against his, while she continued to stroke her arm softly.

"That's why you're here, isn't it?" he said.

She was quiet momentarily. Finally, she nodded.

"She wanted you here for Molly, that's what the will says, doesn't it?" he asked softly.

He knew this was something his wife would plan, and found himself thankful and adoring of her kindness.

"Will you be here for a while?"

"As long as you two need me," she whispered.

He nodded, leaning his head against Molly's gently. The two of them sat in quiet, listening to Molly's soft breathing.

When Edward spoke, he did so softly but with sincerity.

"Thank you, Bella."

* * *

_I open my eyes_  
_I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light_  
_I can't remember how, I can't remember why_  
_I'm lying here tonight and I can't stand the pain_  
_And I can't make it go away_  
_No I can't stand the pain_

_How could this happen to me?_  
_I made my mistakes; I've got no where to run_  
_The night goes on as I'm fading away_  
_I'm sick of this life, I just wanna scream_  
_How could this happen to me?_

_Everybody's screaming_  
_I try to make a sound but no one hears me_  
_I'm slipping off the edge, I'm hanging by a thread_  
_I wanna start this over again.  
_Untitled, Simple Plan

* * *

**AN:** These first 5 or so chapters are going to be exceedingly sad and as one reader commented, need a tissue warning. But as Edward and Bella are going to find out, things do get better.  
So stick with me!

My updating schedule is going to be once a week, and I promise consistency as I have already written about 20 chapters ahead. If you have questions I try and get back to you, unless it's a spoiler, then you're on your own!

Thank you for your reviews! They make me smile! (:


	3. Dresses

*I understand that these first few chapters leave readers with mixed feelings. It's hard to see Edward with someone else. But these memories of him and his wife come at a time for Edward when he just lost her and he is putting her on the tallest pedestal he can. Their love was not perfect or all eternal, but to him right now...it is. So, I ask for your openness and return promise that these detailed flashbacks will not last long.

* * *

Dresses.

Women wear them all the time for tons of various reasons. Wearing it is hardly more than trivial in most cases.

One must merely select a dress, shoes and sometimes little else.

They had left the task up to him.

He had stared at the closet they had shared for nearly an hour. He finally managed to wrestle a small amount of strength that was tucked deep inside him to open the doors.

She had many clothes, and as he stared at them, he saw her in each and every one of them. He saw her and the way her hair always looked so pretty, and she had earrings that always shined to match not only her outfit but her eyes, making them sparkle like the sun.

He wished someone else would be here to do this.

The thought that this would be the last outfit she was ever seen in made his throat tighten.

~O~

Edward and Taylor.

E&T could be found nearly everywhere one would look the day of their late spring wedding. The letters were scattered amongst the deep purple orchids and on the tables in the reception hall, along with on the programs.

The names worked together as perfectly as they were sure their lives would. Everyone who knew them would agree.

His blushing bride had chosen purple, which was the first of many decisions in which purple came out victoriously. But if Taylor wanted purple, then he was sure he could live with it.

The hours that led up to the ceremony were typical in the sense that the men went golfing and the women got everything about themselves manicured before cracking open some early champagne.

The bride, having previously slipped into her grand white dress, held up her glass. "I want to thank you all for being here for me today. I couldn't imagine walking down the aisle today without you all by me."

Her best friend beamed, holding up her own glass. "To Taylor!"

The bridesmaids echoed the cheer as they smiled at their stunning friend. Taylor looked like a vision. Her blonde hair was curled softly and makeup done beautifully, accenting her amazing, big blue eyes. The white sparkly dress made her glow.

She leaned in and hugged her best friend. "Thanks, Bella."

Bella smiled at her brightly. "Today's your day and I couldn't be happier for you."

"You got your toast ready to go, Miss Maid of Honor?" Taylor asked with a grin, but Bella saw some of her nerves about the ordeal and couldn't help but be amused.

"You're still worried I'll bring up the time you bought a 25 cent piece of caramel and then _returned_ it for a piece of chocolate!" she accused, laughing.

Taylor flushed. "I was like six!"

Bella looked at her incredulously. "You were 12 and you know it."

"It has nothing to do with my wedding!"

"But it goes to your character!" Bella protested.

Taylor just shook her head at her friend.

"It's a good story!" Bella exclaimed.

"I knew I would never be able to live that down…"

"Was the chocolate worth it?" she wondered teasingly.

Taylor gave her a look with raised eyebrows. "It was chocolate. Of course it was worth it!"

"I always personally wondered what possessed you to buy the caramel in the first place."

"And because of that bad life choice, my 200 closest friends and family will know what an idiot I am! This is in part thanks to what I'm sure will be a lovely speech on your behalf."

Bella grinned. "They already knew you were an idiot, don't kid yourself."

As if to prove her friend's point, she suddenly gasped. "Crap! Where did I set my bouquet?"

Bella rolled her eyes enduringly as she watched Taylor whirl around in a panic. She waited at least a minute and watched in amusement as she looked around.

"Where is it?" Taylor asked in a bit of a freak out.

Bella pointed across the room to a stack of purple and white flowers. "Right on the table…where we put all of them less than five minutes ago."

Taylor let out a comical sigh of relief as she fell back into a couch. Grinning, Bella plopped down gracelessly next to her.

"How much longer?" she wondered anxiously.

Bella looked back at the overhead clock. "About 53 minutes."

Taylor let out a huff.

Amused endlessly by her friend, Bella was content to sit quietly for a minute, knowing Taylor would begin talking momentarily. She was someone usually not comfortable in silence.

As if on cue, "Remember the state tourney?" she wondered randomly.

Bella snorted less than delicately. "Which one?"

"Senior year," she said.

Bella hardly had to think about it. "Of course, I'll never forget it."

Taylor and Bella had been tennis doubles partners since they were nine years old. They had gone to camps, clinics and programs together for years before they reached 7th grade and were able to join the local high school team. Together they made varsity, beating out juniors and seniors their first year.

Together they worked for years. They sweat and cried with each other and pushed the other to their limit and further. Their freshmen year their team went to state and every year after they went together.

Senior year was the year that their team had dramatically called the "End in the Beginning." With their college choices still up in the air in the fall of the year, they worked harder than ever before. Bella wanted to play for college, and even if Taylor had not yet been sure if she wanted to or not, she worked as hard as Bella for it so her friend would have the chance.

They had ended up as the girls tennis doubles state champions by the time the season was over.

"Remember how that whole morning we talked about how nervous we were. You couldn't stop bouncing," she remembered with a laugh as Bella grinned sheepishly.

"I've never been that nervous in my life," Bella said, shaking her head.

Taylor said, "We talked about how the butterflies in our stomachs were something that we had never felt so intensely before."

"And I've yet to feel like that again," Bella finished.

Taylor was quiet for a pause. "That's what I feel now. It's weird, because then, I understood why I was nervous. Everyone had their eyes on us, the girls we were playing had incredibly intense and scary faces and we were sure it would be the last tennis match we ever played together."

Bella was silent, allowing her friend to sort through her words and she listened patiently. "But today," Taylor continued, "I feel as nervous as I did that day, and I can't figure out why. I mean, there's no fear of failure or pressure to play perfectly. It's just another day with Edward."

"You would think of your wedding day as just another day," Bella teased.

Taylor shook her head, "But I'm serious though! I don't know how it is possible for me to love him any more than I already do, regardless of a ring."

Bella who was still single and ready to mingle shrugged. "If I were you, I wouldn't try and figure it out. Just…live it."

Taylor nodded contemplatively. She looked over at her friend with a curious glance as she asked, "How do you always know these things?"

Her friend grinned back at her. "I usually have no clue what the hell I'm saying, but your dumb-ass self listens to me!"

"And I have since I was five!"

They were quiet, each grinning to themselves.

Taylor nudged her gently. "But thank you for managing to talk me out of trees for the past 17 years, and for being here for me today."

Bella put her arm around her, leaning in close. "I'd do anything for you, Taylor."

"I know," Taylor agreed as the friends hugged.

And just like a true friend, Bella left the 25 cent caramel incident out of the toast she made that evening.

~O~

The two days after Taylor's passing (he still had trouble thinking the word "death" for it usually caused him to shake) passed slowly and painfully for him.

Edward, her parents and brother and Bella all sorrowfully met with the funeral director at the funeral home that someone had chosen, for what felt like hours. They selected the flowers, the music for the funeral service, the church, the picture that would be framed, they wrote about Taylor's life for the obituary and divided the rest of the tasks.

Edward had had to leave the room when the mortician had gently pulled out the catalogue of caskets. He had barely made it to the bathroom before retching into the toilet.

He felt empty.

It was as if all light in the world had been snatched from him. He felt only darkness and despair in the days that led to her wake and funeral. Coldness surrounded him and everything he did.

If it hadn't been for Bella, he was not sure if he would have any sense of reality or if Molly would be well cared for. They had established a quiet understanding of each other and rarely said many words to one another as they planned the funeral, cared for Molly and cried for the one they had lost.

Taylor must have known that he would barely be able to function if something were to ever happen to her, and planned for it. It hardly surprised him that she always knew him better than he knew himself.

The day of the wake, Edward found himself a wreck. Given the circumstances, this was hardly unexpected, but the previous days he had managed to keep it together for the most part. The day of the wake found Edward in pain and sick to his stomach. He was not sure if he would be able bear seeing his wife in a casket, lifeless.

Bella had taken over a lot of caring for Molly as he was usually unable to find the will. Most of the time he was sure that she had no idea what he was doing or even where he was. But she needed to be busy, and caring for the little girl gave her a sense of purpose.

His parents had been over in the morning. His father had gently grasped his shoulder in a show of quiet support that Edward knew spoke volumes. His mother had been teary eyed from the moment she walked through the door and had hugged him tightly for a long time. When she released him, she went to find Molly and hug her nearly as tightly. She had then gone to his closet and pulled out black suit pants, a grey dress shirt and a black tie for him to wear to the wake that afternoon.

By the time that they had left he felt himself already drained. Their affection had exhausted him, and he was not sure how he would be able to survive the wake, knowing he must stand by Taylor and accept the condolences of everyone who ever loved her.

Needing to do something productive, he mechanically picked up the clothes his mom had selected and went to the ironing board. In the back of his mind, he knew that in the detached state he was in, using an iron may not be the wisest decision, but the misery in him quickly ignored this.

He had finished the shirt and pants and had just laid down the tie when Bella stuck her head in the doorway.

"What are you doing?" she asked quietly.

Without looking up, he replied, "Ironing."

"You can't iron a tie that way," she informed him gently. She moved next to him and guided his hand with the iron away from the tie.

"Why not?"

"It's silk. You can't iron silk," she told him as she rummaged through the laundry bin. She pulled out one of Molly's onesies and placed it over the tie on the ironing boarding. "Now you iron it carefully."

"I never knew that," he admitted in the same hollow voice that he found his thoughts in.

She cracked a small smile, "Either did Taylor."

He glanced at her with his eyebrow raised at the amusement she had in her broken tone.

"I hardly need to tell you she wasn't always domestic," she said fondly.

"She always ironed my ties, though," he protested.

With a smile, she moved to take over the ironing from him. "Remember that black one you had? With white vertical lines on it?"

He thought about it for a moment. He vaguely recalled a tie that fit that description, but wasn't sure where he had placed it, as he had not seen it in years.

"Yeah," she said, "She wrecked that one and then called me in tears."

Imagining his wife in the first couple months of their marriage and how she had tried so hard, he chuckled tenderly at the image Bella painted.

"If she would have called me a little bit earlier, I could have saved you a tie," she grinned.

"Why'd she never tell me about it?" he wondered.

"She was worried that you would be upset."

Edward shook his head at his wife, his lips quirked up. "I _hated_ that tie."

Bella moved the onesie off of the tie and handed it to him. "Well that was Taylor for you, always worried about other people's happiness, even if you would have been happy to know she destroyed the tie."

He had gone silent. When he didn't take the tie, or even see her hold it up, she carefully set it down over the shirt. "You okay?"

His throat closed, but he fought against it. "How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"So easily say _was_ instead of _is_."

He heard her let out a soft, "Oh."

She thought about it with a pause.

Ever so softly, she admitted, "Every time I say _was_ or _used_ _to_ or _did_ it kills me. But I can't afford to lose it when I accidentally think or say _is_ or _does_ because then I remember it's not the case and she's not here…the pain is too much to handle."

When she saw that his hands were braced against the ironing board, and his eyes closed, she knew his pain. Preparing to leave him alone, she picked up Molly's clothing that she had just used.

She read the pink lettering on the onesie and let out a soft sigh as she shook her head. Bella believed in God and in hard times, believed that He was always near.

Hearing the subtle emission of breath, Edward's shoulders drooped and his eyes opened to see what she was thinking about. Bella wordlessly placed the onesie face up on the board, placed a hand on his back and then left.

Edward glanced over at the onesie and read the pink words.

_I Love My Mommy_

_~O~_

He had driven to the funeral home where the wake would occur, Bella riding in the passenger seat and Molly silent in the back.

Molly had been an expressive and particularly loud child ever since she was born. She was the sweetest thing her father had ever seen, but she could be sassy and vocal. He and Bella were both worried about her silence the past few days, as it was so unlike her. Somehow she must have known that these were sorrowful times.

When they pulled into Miller Funeral Home's parking lot, Edward's grip on the steering wheel had noticeably tightened. He had no idea how he would find the strength to get through the next 24 hours, as the funeral was at the church tomorrow morning.

They got Molly out of her car seat and she cuddled up next to Bella easily. Edward watched her walk with his daughter, feeling grateful that she had so many people who loved her.

Briefly they met with the funeral director, who was waiting for them in the lobby of the home.

The funeral director was a kind man in his 40's who had gentle trustworthy eyes. "Mr. Cullen, as visitation hours do not begin for 45 more minutes, you have this time in private with your wife. Her parents will also have the opportunity before visitors begin to arrive."

Edward reached out to shake his hand. "Thank you."

The director left them alone after gesturing to the doors that led to the viewing area. Bella and Edward slowly turned to face each other.

"You go ahead, I'll watch Molly," she volunteered somberly.

Edward nodded, letting a long breath out. "Do you think you could…?" he trailed off, gesturing to Molly.

Bella smiled gently, resting her head against Molly's soft copper hair. "I'll bring her in to you in a little bit."

"Thanks," he said. Still, he didn't move from his spot. Something was holding him back from going through the doors to where the casket was.

"Edward," Bella said softly, "We'll get through this, I promise."

"Yeah," he agreed absentmindedly. He nervously ran his hand through his hair before turning and slowly walking through the doors, holding his breath.

The sight that he saw made his heart clench. The many dozens of flowers carefully surrounded a caramel colored wood casket where Taylor lay. She lay there in the light blue dress she had loved, with her hands folded carefully on her abdomen.

Edward dropped to his knees, barely making it to a cushioned kneeling bench that was set up near the casket.

"Oh, sweetheart," he whispered mournfully, pained to see her this way.

He folded his hands and rested them against the side of the casket, bending his head over to rest on them. He was silent for an immeasurable amount of time, unsure what to say and okay with the silence.

"Taylor, I am so, so sorry. I never meant for it to end this way," he whispered, strangled, "I shouldn't have let you go that night. I know you hate driving in the nighttime. I should have gone to the store and it would have been me instead," he choked out tearfully.

That thought had wracked his brain endlessly since she first entered her coma. Taylor should have stayed home with Molly and he could have gone to get the cough syrup for her.

It should have been him.

"Deep inside of me, I know that I'm not saying goodbye to you now, and I didn't say goodbye to you the other night either. This is your body, but your soul will always be with me. And with Molly."

As if she had been summoned, a knock on the heavy wooden doors echoed through. Hastily, Edward brushed away his tears. "Come in," he called unsteadily.

Hesitantly, Bella stepped through the doors with Molly resting on her hip. Bella, like Edward did not get much ways past the door, as if she was frozen. Edward rose from the kneeler and crossed the distance to her.

He gently took Molly into his arms. "Come here, baby girl."

Bella opened her mouth to say something, probably apologize for some reason or explain. He nodded at her before she could speak. "I know," he said in understanding.

She took a deep breath, her eyes not wavering from the casket. "Oh, Taylor," she sighed brokenly.

Edward felt that his thoughts echoed her own.

"Give us a few minutes and then we'll give you some privacy."

She nodded, took a shallow breath and then held her hands out in front of her, overwhelmed. She then turned on her heal and left the room, trembling.

Molly shifted in his arms, giving him no time to dwell on the woman his wife had loved so much.

Edward adjusted her so that her legs were on each side of his own hip. He carefully walked back over to Taylor, watching Molly's reaction warily.

Molly merely looked curious for a moment. She then tried to wrestle out of Edward's grasp, holding her tiny arms out in front of her with a little whimper.

She wanted to be picked up by her mama.

Edward tightened his grip on her and brought her up near his head so he could nuzzle her hair. "I know, baby, I want her too."

Molly continued to struggle, trying to turn so that she was facing her mom once more, but Edward kept a firm hold on her. It broke his heart to see her struggles, knowing she only wanted her mommy.

"She's still here with us, Moll, I promise."

Molly finally slumped against his chest, defeated. Edward looked from Taylor back to Molly who was now staring at him with the wide blue eyes of her mother's. The look made his knees go weak and he had to brace one of his arms against the edge of the casket.

"Taylor, you were the best mother, wife and friend I could have ever wished to have. And I promise that she'll know you and how lucky we were to have you, and she'll know the love you had for her and our family.

"I promise I won't let you go."

* * *

_Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry_  
_You don't know how lovely you are_  
_I had to find you, tell you I need you_  
_Tell you I set you apart_  
_Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions_  
_Oh let's go back to the start_  
_Running in circles, coming up tails_  
_Heads on a science apart_

_Nobody said it was easy_  
_It's such a shame for us to part_  
_Nobody said it was easy_  
_No one ever said it would be this hard_  
_Oh, take me back to the start._

_I was just guessing at numbers and figures_  
_Pulling the puzzles apart_  
_Questions of science, science and progress_  
_Do not speak as loud as my heart_  
_And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me_  
_Oh and I rush to the start  
_The Scientist, Coldplay

* * *

**AN:** More sad stuff, mixed with the 3rd of 10 glimpses into the life of Taylor. I'm just gonna say this now: it's okay to like her!

I decided to make a new character because if I would have used Tanya, you all would not like her immediately, because FF paints her as a bitch. Just like Mike Newton is usually a bumbling idiot and Alice is a shopaholic. I don't like dealing with connotations people have of characters, and usually would rather make my own.

As I said before, it will get better for these guys! They just gotta get through the wake and funeral first...

And thank you all for your amazing response to this story! It's awesome and your reviews make my day(:


	4. People

People.

He had once read that a person meets 100,000 people in their lifetime.

People will come and go into your life, helping you, hurting you, and loving you. They will break you down or build you up. They make you stronger and shape your character.

One meets people their first day of kindergarten, when entering a high school, going to college, beginning a job, or merely going to the gym for a short workout.

But he was realizing that it does not matter the number of people you meet. The number that matters is the number of people's lives you touch.

And his wife had touched many lives.

~O~

"I am so sorry, Edward. She was a very special women and I will miss her so much."

Edward nodded at one of Taylor's coworkers who was gripping his hand tightly. "Thank you."

"Hang in there," the women said tenderly, with watery eyes.

He nodded once more and she passed by. One of Taylor's high school teachers finished conversing and offering sympathies to Bella and left to find a seat as well.

Edward looked over at Bella as some people stood by Taylor's casket. She was looking exhausted and sad.

"Thank you for doing this," Edward said, taking advantage of the pause in condolences.

Molly did not have the attention span to be up with Edward and speak to the guests, and he could not handle watching her glance to Taylor's lifeless body sadly. Bella had grown up with Taylor and known her for 20 years, or 80% of her life and knew many of the people who had come to pay their respects, so she was standing beside him.

"Thank you for letting me," she replied. "You're doing great, by the way."

Though Edward wouldn't agree with the assessment, Bella was proud of him. She knew how hard the past few days had been for him, and she was impressed by the strong, calm way he was carrying himself when speaking with Taylor's friends and family.

There was little doubt in her mind that the funeral and wake would hardly benefit Edward or help him heal. She knew he felt just as disconnected and numb as she did. They were dealing more with other people's feelings than their own.

"Who has Molly?" he wondered, not seeing her in any of the rows of chairs that were beginning to fill up for the short service.

"My mom does. She's in the back room making sure she gets something to eat."

Edward nodded, thinking that he perhaps was growing hungry as well.

There was a long line that stretched out of the large room and all the way through the lobby to the door. Many people had known and loved Taylor in the town she had grown up in, and it seemed that the line would never end. Some people Edward knew or recognized, but a lot were ones that he drew a blank on.

He leaned towards Bella and she tilted her ear up to him. "Who are the next few people coming?" he whispered.

She glanced over at the next six or so people that were waiting to view the casket. "That one is Taylor's cousin and her husband, Nikki and Tom," she inconspicuously pointed to a couple, "those two girls were on our tennis team, Kelsey and Sophie," she nodded to two teary eyed teenage girls, "and that man over there is our tennis coach, Kessler and his son who Taylor and I used to babysit named Hayden."

Edward leaned away from Bella when Nikki came and gave him a hug. Tom and Bella knew each other as he gave her a warm hug as well.

"How are you holding up?" Nikki sniffled. Her husband wrapped a comforting arm around her waist as they spoke to the two of them.

Edward shrugged slowly. "I'm getting by," he admitted.

Nikki looked over at Bella who sighed. "It's been a struggle."

She nodded sympathetically. "Taylor was so amazing, I loved her very much."

Edward nodded, unable to speak. He had found that instead of trying to force out words, nodding was acceptable for him.

"We are going to go watch the slide show," she said, looking over at the TV that was playing pictures from Taylor's life.

Bella managed a weak smile. "Please help yourself to food in the back, it's for family."

They moved past and two crying girls walked to them. When Bella and Taylor had graduated, they had been in 8th grade, but had grown up since then.

Kelsey hugged Bella tightly. Kelsey had been Bella's team "sister" the last season and they were very fond of each other. Sophie threw her arms around Edward, who looked surprised and awkwardly patted her back. Kelsey and Bella pulled apart and glanced over at them, still in an odd embrace.

Sophie pulled away from him eventually and with tears. "Stay strong," she said, resting her hand on his bicep.

Kelsey made a face, but looked back at Bella sadly. "You two were such an inspiration and I'm so thankful I was able to be part of a team with you. I'll never forget the help she gave me and how much of an amazing captain she was to us."

Bella's eyes watered but she gave the girl in front of her a small smile. "Thanks Kels." They hugged once more before Kelsey nodded at Edward and grabbed Sophie away from him.

Edward watched them but once he was satisfied that their backs were turned, he grimaced at Bella. "What the hell was that?" he whispered.

Bella gave him an small, amused grin. "_That_ was a somewhat disrespectful college girl who never quite had many limits and thinks you look particularly handsome."

Edward, stunned, looked down at his outfit. The grey dress shirt hugged his torso and the thin black tie matched his simple black suit pants. Bella knew that her simple black dress paled in comparison.

"Wonderful."

Bella grinned at him. Edward looked irritated but hid it as his neighbor's shuffled to speak with them. Edward spoke for only a little bit to the family of four who lived down the road from their house.

Daniel Kessler, or just Kessler to most people, was the next person to speak with them. His son who was now around 12 stood quietly next to him. He shook Edward's hand and offered quiet words to him before moving to Bella.

Seeing their old high school tennis coach made Bella immediately remember back to some of the happiest days of her life. Tennis season had been a time full of friendship, laughs, hard work and fun. Kessler had been an incredible coach and had taught Taylor and Bella so much, not only about tennis but about themselves and life as well.

Kessler looked at her in a sad way that Bella had never seen before on his usually grinning face. Seeing the coach they had both loved brought tears to her eyes, wanting those happy and simple times back, if just for a moment. He saw her beginning to cry and stepped in to hug her tightly, letting her sniffle against him as she clutched him.

Bella struggled to compose herself and push the memories that she would forever remember, away. She had made it through two hours without crying, through Taylor's family and friends, but their coach was the one to reduce her to tears.

"It's okay, kid," he said to her quietly.

She nodded, pulling away from him to wipe away her tears.

"You two were the best players I've ever coached. Not only determination and skill wise, but your kindness, positivity and lame humor is something that I have yet to meet again."

"It was never lame!" she protested.

Kessler shook his head, instantly returning to the man she knew. "You guys always thought you were funny, but you never really were."

"No, Taylor was the one with the lame jokes. I was always funny."

He snorted. "You're sarcastic; rarely funny."

Bella grinned. She glanced over at the casket and back. "You know, I think Taylor would have wanted you to know that it was us who put all those purple streamers in your yard before the state tourney."

"I knew it!" he accused triumphantly.

"Okay, it was mostly my idea," she admitted, "Taylor tried to talk me out of it, saying we should be nice to you or something crazy."

He shook his head at her teasingly. "I was always thankful I had Taylor to talk you out of most of your stupid ideas."

Bella smiled, "So was I."

Before he could speak again, she nodded at him, giving him a meaningful look. "Thank you."

Wordlessly, he nodded back at her. She spoke to Hayden quickly before she and Edward were on to the next person who offered their condolences.

An hour later, both Edward and Bella were starving and the line had hardly diminished. The seats were full and people were already standing in the back, waiting for the priest who had known Taylor all of her life to speak, giving his eulogy of sorts.

Edward's brother wove through the herds of people, two paper plates in his hands that were each stacked with different foods which relatives and friends had brought. They had never been so thankful to see Emmett.

"Thanks, Em," Edward said sincerely as he took one of the plates.

"Don't mention it," he replied. He handed Bella the plate he had made for her, giving her a squeeze around the shoulders.

Edward did not hesitate to take a giant bite of the sandwich that was in front of him. Bella voraciously began consuming some cheese and meat that were on her own plate. Emmett watched them, satisfied that they were both eating.

"Who's that guy?" Emmett asked, nodding his head over to a tan young man who was standing with his mother.

Bella slowly swallowed her mouthful of food. She glanced over at Edward apologetically before answering Emmett. "That's Austin…Taylor and him dated for a few years in high school."

Emmett glanced at his brother who was looking disturbingly blank. "Want me to stay, bro?"

Edward shook his head. "No, it's fine."

Without believing that, Emmett nodded and walked away from them. Before words could be exchanged between Edward and Bella, Austin and his mom walked to them. Austin had unashamed tears in his eyes and his mother was looking distraught.

"Bella, oh honey!" she cried sadly, throwing her arms tightly around Bella.

Fond memories of high school days sat at Austin's house with Taylor, him and some of their friends filled Bella's mind. His mother had always been eccentric and Bella had always enjoyed her very much.

Edward was eying Austin with a tired wariness about him that Austin seemed to return. Finally, after glancing at his mother and friend, still in a tight embrace, he cleared his throat and offered his hand. "I'm sorry, man."

Out of the corner of her gaze, Bella saw her friend's husband offer his own hand hesitantly.

"Thank you."

Their hands dropped to their sides. Austin shifted. "She was one amazing girl."

Edward, who had always been a somewhat jealous type, was uncomfortable. _He_, better than anyone, knew how amazing Taylor had been.

"Yes, she was."

Austin's mother released Bella and the two of them shuffled to different sides. His mother was hugging Edward and Austin had Bella wrapped carefully in an embrace as they whispered to each other. Edward, weary of Austin, found himself immediately liking his mom as she expressed sincere condolences.

The two of them passed on, and more people came through the endless line while Bella and Edward snuck bites of food in between.

As Edward met person after person, his heart grew heavier. Hundreds of people knew and loved Taylor from so many different places and experiences. They felt his loss with him, and he felt theirs. Throughout the evening he spoke with her coworkers, her teachers, her friends, her teammates, her family, and people who had never even met her but felt her loss through him.

He and Bella spoke to one another quietly in between visitors and Edward felt himself grounded by her sure presence.

It reminded him of another, happier time.

~O~

He had scooped her up into his arms carrying her across the church threshold like the beautiful bride that she had been. She giggled, emanating pure happiness with her arms tossed around his neck.

"And what do we do now, Mrs. Cullen?" he asked, pressing a kiss against her soft cheek.

"Well, we have a church full of people who cannot get out of their pews until Bella and Emmett dismiss them to come and congratulate us."

He smirked at her, "And here I thought you were going to ask me to ravish you."

Taylor laughed with an infectious smile on her face. "That'll come later, Mr. Cullen, don't worry."

They nuzzled their faces together in a display of adoration that passed mutually between them.

His mother clapped her hands together. "Alright, lovebirds! Save it for the honeymoon!"

Taylor blushed against him while Edward grinned widely at his mom, who despite the reprimand was beaming brightly. She stood next to his father and her parents, who were smiling indulgingly.

"Grandma's here; so be sure to look modest," Taylor's mother reminded them as he set his bride onto her feet.

Bella and Emmett let the first wedding guests in the back pews out of their seats and a flow of people came through the church to speak to the happy couple and family.

They smiled and chatted with their friends and hugged their family. In pauses in the line, Edward would lean down to Taylor's ear and whisper things that would always make her giggle.

It was obvious to observers that the newlyweds were so incredibly happy that they were finding everything around them a source of joy and most especially, amusement and laughter.

"_What_ is she wearing?" Edward asked incredulously, eying a woman who had purple highlights and a blaringly bright jade green dress.

She laughingly swatted him, "Be nice! She's my mom's best friend!"

With a crooked grin, he whispered, "Am I allowed to comment on the hair?"

"You wouldn't!" she grinned.

He winked at her as the woman in question and her husband reached the happy couple.

When Edward made the comment, "You have such lovely hair; don't you think it would look beautiful on my lovely wife?" Taylor had barely controlled her giggles, which vanished to horror when the woman enthusiastically agreed and began to persuade her.

For the next three years of their marriage, she never forgave him for being at fault of the comments her mom's friend made about Taylor getting purple hair.

Later in the line, Edward made her laugh by asking, "What is with that tie?" He had nodded at an older man who was wearing a yellow shirt with what appeared to be cotton tie that was covered with horrible animated daises.

"That's my uncle Jerry," she answered, as if that explained everything.

Edward's eyes bulged out. "You mean Jerry, the chief of medicine, millionaire, Jerry?" At her nod, he exclaimed, "Well, what the hell!"

Taylor grinned in amusement as she spoke with the uncle in question and her aunt. She burst out laughing once they had passed, noting how Edward had been unable to keep his stare off the tie.

The rest of the line of people passed in much a similar way. One occasion that the couple found particularly amusing was when a woman, later to be identified as Mrs. Wilkins, approached them.

As he had done for many people, he leaned down and asked his new wife, "Who's that woman?" he wondered.

Taylor turned to him with wide eyes. "You don't know?"

"She's not with you?" he asked, confused.

"I've never seen her before in my life!"

Edward was baffled. "Well what the hell!"

The couple cast panicked glances at one another as the smiling woman approached them. She went to hug Taylor enthusiastically, leaving Edward to let out a sigh of relief that he was off the hook for being responsible for this guest.

"Congratulations, Taylor!" the woman beamed, "I am so very happy for you and your new husband!"

Taylor smiled awkwardly back, clearly without recognition. The woman did not seem to notice as she was offering her hand to Edward. "Hello! I'm Mrs. Wilkins. I was Taylor's English teacher, her freshmen and senior year of high school."

Had his hand not been occupied shaking the teachers, he would have smacked his forehead. Taylor was bright pink by the time Mrs. Wilkins left them.

At the inquiring and slightly accusing eyebrow of her husband, she had burst out, "I swear she had surgery done!"

He had laughed so hard that he was doubled over with tears in his eyes.

He had just married the ditsiest person the world had ever seen!

When he told his bride as much, she had rolled her eyes, holding up her left hand with a new shining ring on its forth finger, and in a sing song voice said, "Well my husband, you're stuck with me!"

Edward smiled, taking the hand into his own and kissing the ring.

"I wouldn't want it any other way."

~O~

"Good evening all, we will be beginning a short service led by Father Matthew of St. Marcus church in five minutes. If you would kindly begin to take your seats," the funeral director gestured to the seats which were already full and to the standing area in the back.

Edward, as emotionally drained as he had ever been, let out a deep sigh. Bella had just left his side in search of Molly who was presumably with family in a tucked away room. He was regretting the food that he had had consumed, as it was churning in his stomach.

The line still remained going into the lobby, but the funeral director had assured all that the body would be available for viewing the two hours leading to the funeral mass the next morning.

He was exhausted and wanted nothing more but to fall into his bed and not have to be the composed and strong widower. However, he knew that no matter how much he wished for sleep, it would not likely be granted to him.

Bella wove her way back into the crowded room, Molly on her hip. His daughter was looking around at all the people curiously, clearly content and having just been fed.

"Hey baby girl, come here," he cooed softly, holding his hands out to Molly who leaned willingly into him.

Once Molly was settled in his arms, she set about looking around her. He held his breath as her tiny neck craned over to the casket. And, just like the previous time, Molly began to struggle in an attempt to get out of his arms. She held her arms out to Taylor's body to be picked up and no matter how much he turned his body to block her from view and how tightly he held her, she continued to fight against him.

It shattered his heart when tears formed in her sparkly blue eyes and she began to cry. Edward felt so helpless as he did not know how to comfort his daughter, because he felt the same way she did.

Bella must have seen him cracking. She held her arms out, and scooped Molly back into them, gently hushing her.

Edward felt himself suffocating under the stares of sympathy from everyone he knew, the cries of heartbreak from his daughter and the concern of his wife's best friend.

"I need some air."

Before he could see her reaction or contemplate how irresponsible it was to abandon his daughter to someone else, he was rushing out of the room and through the doors that led outside.

He retched into a bush that bordered the landscape, emptying his stomach which had so readily consumed the food Emmett had brought.

Once his stomach was empty and he was merely dry heaving, he realized with an exhausted detachment that that action was the same one that began him and Taylor's love affair. He fell to his knees in the grass and began to cry.

He was not sure how he would go on without her.

Or if he even wanted to.

* * *

_This is for the ones who believe their lives won't change_  
_Hoping that someday things will mend and be the same_  
_This is for the ones who have lost it all when all that's left to gain_  
_Is a simple reminder that the things that were blind to slip away..._

_Now that the lines been broken_  
_I'm too afraid to just look back_  
_The pages have left an empty space_  
_You were all I had._  
_Why does it have to be this way?_

_And if I fall through these days that go by without cause_  
_Just a painful mistake has left me here on my own_  
_And if I fall through these nights I can't seem to go on_  
_Just a sign that you're with me gives me the strength to hold on  
_If I Fall, Amber Pacific

* * *

**AN:** Our boy is really having a rough go at it. ): And it's gonna get worse before it's gonna get better...(hint: Chapter 10 is going to be big.)

I'm glad most of you were okay with Taylor, because she's going to be in this story an awful lot. However, I'm only going to do these flashbacks backs of when she was alive until Chapter 10. Hmm...I'm unintentionally building suspense. Oops!

As always, thank you for your reviews! I truly appreciate them! (: haha, wish me luck on yet another school year!


	5. Rings

Rings.

They are circles and circles don't have an ending, making them perfect to symbolize everlasting love and by fault, marriage.

Rings are placed on the second finger in from the left because that finger has a vein that runs directly to your heart

By no mean do the rings themselves mean love; they are merely silver, platinum or gold, with stones that shine and sparkle which are made valuable by the demand of the industry.

It is all the ring represents that means love; everlasting love.

The rings represent commitment to one another that shall never waver. They are given to husband and wife by each another on the day of their wedding, the happiest day of their lives as a token of love.

Rings are the very first gift married couples give one another.

When they had given them to one another, each had made a silent vow that the band would never leave their fingers.

And so, why was he holding hers in his hand?

~O~

For many people that lived in the northern United States, going up to a lake cabin for weekends and summer holidays was a given. The same was true for Taylor, Edward and their friends.

It had been the 4th of July weekend and it was Bella's turn to have the cabin for the week. Bella's parents along with her mom's sister and husband had bought a lake cabin together, around the time that Bella had been born. They had worked out a schedule for the weekends that it would not be shared among the families and when Bella got older, she had been given a week to herself. Since the four of them were going to huge concert the evening of the 4th, she had gotten that holiday week.

So, with temperatures in the 90's, Taylor, Bella, Bella's older sister Alice, Edward and Emmett, along with his friend Jasper had all headed up for a weekend of fun and sun.

"Let's do this shit!" Emmett had proclaimed enthusiastically when he, Edward and Jasper had arrived at the cabin.

Alice who had never met him, hastened to agree. "Hell yeah!"

Taylor rushed to Edward who was stepping out of his car with a lazy grin. She threw her arms around his neck and he caught her, spinning her around while laughing. When he set her down, he kissed her lightly. As he pulled back, he raised an eyebrow.

"You ladies been drinking?" he asked, amused.

Bella called across the yard from the deck, "We waited until 11 am!"

"A woman after my own heart!" Emmett replied with a booming laugh.

Edward had tasted fruity alcohol on his girlfriend's lips, and pressed against them once more.

"Margaritas?" he asked.

"Sangrias," Taylor corrected with a slightly tipsy giggle.

Bella raised her own sangria apologetically. "Sorry Edward, she's never really been able to hold her alcohol!"

"Oh it's the 4th! Let her have a little fun!" Alice laughed, nudging Bella. She grinned at Edward, "I'm Alice, Bella's older sister and the holder of some of the finer family genes."

Bella rolled her eyes as she took a swing from her drink.

Edward laughed, "I'm Edward. The big idiot over there is my brother Emmet." Emmett beamed at Alice. "And this is my friend Jasper," he said, nodding to the tall blonde man.

Jasper nodded at Alice and Bella, a relaxed smile on his face as he leaned against the car.

"Well," Bella said, "I basically worked up a sweat from walking over here, so let's hit the water!"

Down about 10 wooden stairs from the cabin, yard and drive way, was more grass and a sandy beach that stretched all the way to a low hanging tree which formed a barrier between their property and the neighbors. The large blue lake was calm with the exception of the speed boats driving by with tubers and water skiers pulled behind them.

They headed down the stairs with a cooler full of drinks and snacks, sunscreen in hand and excited grins.

Bella dangled the keys in her hand. She looked at Alice with a smirk, "You aren't allowed to drive since you wrecked the last lift." She turned to look at Taylor, "No way in hell am I letting you drive when you're sober, much less tipsy two sips of booze." She glanced at Emmett, "You-"

"Say no more!" He plucked the keys out of her fingers and jumped into the boat, "I got this!"

Bella looked ready to protest, but then stopped. "Eh, what the hell."

They boarded the boat and Emmett backed it out of the lift that Jasper had lowered. As soon as he was away from the dock, the boat was going full speed, tearing through the waves and turning sharply. The girl's hair whipped through the wind as they traveled across the sparkling lake.

By the time they had stopped at a sand bar, as directed by Bella, everyone was looking a little windblown.

"Never again," she was muttering to herself as she threw the anchor into the water.

Bella tossed off her tank top and kicked off her shorts before following the anchor and jumping into the cool water. She popped up and brushed the water away from her face with a grin. "Hey Edward, toss me a beer!"

"Just a second!" He scooped Taylor of her seat and into his arms, "I gotta toss something else first!"

Taylor squealed when she realized the implication of his words and actions. Before she could voice a protest, Edward tossed her off the side of the boat and into the water near Bella.

Taylor popped up sputtering. "Ass!" she called through her laughs.

Emmett quickly cannonballed in next to them and soon everyone was in the water with their choice of alcohol in hand.

Alice was styling a cowboy hat, nursing a Mikes Hard Lemonade and floating in circular tube. "So Edward, the girls tell me you're a lawyer."

Edward was standing in the water behind Taylor, his arms wrapped around her stomach. "Just finished law school in May and passed the bar exam."

Alice looked impressed. "What are you, like 26?"

"24. I finished college in three years."

Taylor turned and smiled up at him, kissing his jaw affectionately.

Alice rolled her eyes. "Over achievers…" she muttered. "Have you found work?"

Emmett snorted. Edward chuckled, "You could say that."

Alice was confused. "I'm missing something…"

"Our dad is the managing partner of Watson Cullen Law," Edward admitted. "So I'm an associate there."

Bella eyed Alice with sudden wariness, as Alice usually had strong opinions of people who had things handed over to them. Ignoring the look, Alice glanced over at Emmett. "I suppose you're senior partner there, huh?"

Emmett laughed, tossing a football back and forth between his hands. "I went to two years of law school at Harvard before dropping out and traveling the world and fulfilling my goal of peeing in every ocean."

Bella laughed. "Your parents must be so proud!"

"Oh mom's a free spirit and dad's got Ed, so I'm good to go!" He grinned, bringing the football back to throw. "Go long, Swan!" And that began a riveting game of tackle water football, boys vs. girls.

After they left the sandbar they decided on water sports. Bella and Alice water skied together and Alice gloated about how she managed to drop a ski before Bella for the rest of the day. Bella drove the boat while the boys engaged in very dangerous tubing which was made more dangerous by the way she was driving and whipping them. They fell off too many times before Bella and Taylor decided to join them, and Jasper drove the boat. They let the boys wakeboard for a while too, before it became apparent that they were each trying to up one another as far tricks went, and that it would never end.

The country music blared over the radio while they played beach volleyball. The sun tanned their skins and after they forgot to more sunscreen on, burnt them red. The cloudless sky seemed to put everyone in blissful spirits.

Taylor came up with the brilliant idea of chicken fights, which sent her on Edward's shoulders, out to the water to face Alice and Jasper who had quickly teamed up. Emmett and Bella refereed from the sand.

"You realize we have been set up together, don't you?" Bella asked, reclining onto her elbows in the sand.

Emmett grinned quietly and nodded.

"And?" Bella asked, curiously.

"Well you're hot as fucking hell, and really funny."

Bella threw her head back against the sand. "But?"

"I feel like I would offend you too much to ever get anywhere in any type of relationship, and it's not that sleeping with you would leave me suffering in any way." Emmett admitted.

Bella gapped at him.

And then she started laughing. "Okay!"

"Okay?"

She grinned and shrugged, "Works for me! I mean I'm not having sex with you though."

Now it was Emmett who gapped.

They ended up laughing together before taking on Taylor and Edward in the chicken fight, at a truce of somewhat mutual attraction that wouldn't be acted on.

The rest of the day was filled with laughter and the most fun any of them had had in years. They were practically all teenagers again, with the exception that drinking was now legal to them.

The girls cooked dinner while the guys grilled burgers and tried to look manly. Right before all the food was prepared, Bella glanced out the window to see that Edward had abandoned the guys and had made his way down to the dock.

"Hey Tay, what's Edward doing on the dock?" Bella asked curiously.

Taylor glanced over her shoulder and shrugged. "Not sure. Wanna go check? I'm almost done with this pasta salad."

So Bella went down to the lake, walking the length of the dock to Edward who was sitting on the bench. She sat down next to him, crossing her legs and propping her elbows on the back of the bench.

"What's up?" she asked. She noticed that his left hand was closed and turned over as if he was holding something.

Wordlessly, Edward turned his hand so that his palm was facing upwards. He carefully opened his fingers showing the silver band with a diamond on it.

Bella gasped her hand flying to her mouth. "You're proposing?"

Edward nodded. Then he looked over at her with a hint of grin, "Theoretically."

She grinned.

"You don't have a plan do you?"

"Nope."

"Scared as hell?"

"Yup."

"Best of luck"

"Thanks."

They were silent for a moment. Bella was smiling to herself, shaking her head in contemplation.

He glanced over at her. "Are you okay with this? You don't think it's too early?"

Bella laughed outright. "You've known her for two months. It's way too early. But that doesn't mean I don't think you should."

"Really?"

"Really."

He proposed to Taylor later that evening when they laid cuddled up on the boat under a spectacular fireworks show.

She said yes.

~O~

The congregation watched as a young woman shakily rose from her seat in the front pew. Their eyes followed her as she slowly walked to pulpit where the priest had delivered his homily at.

Bella placed her hands on each side of the pulpit to steady herself as she looked out to their gazes. The church was filled to the brim with people, a sea of black and grays. She knew many of them and though she did know the others, she knew they felt and shared her loss.

As she inhaled slowly, she caught sight of Edward. She and his mother had sat on each side of him, surrounding and comforting him. Emmett sat on the other side of the space where Bella had been sitting, Molly being bounced gently on his lap.

Her heart went out to Edward, seeing the shape he was in. He had red brimmed eyes, disheveled hair and a five o'clock shadow on his chin. He was dressed immaculately, thanks to his mother who had presented a sharp dark gray suit with a purple undershirt and tie in honor of his wife's favorite color.

It wasn't the outfit he was wearing, that the mourners would notice. No, instead it was the devastated, empty look he had in his eyes as he stared at the closed casket in the middle of the church.

Bella closed her eyes and silently offered a quick prayer of guidance and strength that would allow her to get through her eulogy.

"I'm Bella Swan, and Taylor was my best friend since I met her at the age of five. And the 20 years since meeting her have been blessed with love, laughter and the joy of two people who have chosen to be sisters." Her voice started shaky, but as she began to speak, she grew more confident in her element.

Bella gathered the papers she had set down and held them up with a small grin. "When I was asked to speak about Taylor, I sat down at my laptop and typed up a 17 page speech." She nodded to the papers, but then let out a somewhat playful sigh, "But then, I realized that Taylor would probably strangle me for doing that, as my aversion to short documents always annoyed her, so I've decided not to follow that."

She set the papers down and looked out at her audience. "We are here today to celebrate the brilliant life that Taylor lived and to mourn not only our loss, but the world's loss of such an amazing person."

Bella paused and looked at Taylor's watery eyed parents with a soft smile. "I met Taylor on our first day of kindergarten when we were five. We were in the same class and incidentally shared a small table and therefore crayons. The two of us were fast friends and before 10am, we were proclaimed best friends."

She let out a soft laugh. "That was until lunch time, and then things got a little dicey. In the lunch line, Taylor selected chocolate milk, while I opted for skim milk. Her mouth had fallen open and she had stared at me with such shock and somewhat horror before she informed me, 'You pick bad milk, but I guess I can _try_ to still be your best friend.'"

The congregation laughed at the picture Bella painted, some of them remembering Taylor at that age. Bella grew stronger when she saw that even Edward, who had yet to stop staring blankly, had cracked a grin.

"We were able to overcome our different dairy preferences and remained best friends. At the age of 8, our parents signed us up for tennis lessons, and most of you know what that led to," Bella gave a watery grin as many people nodded their agreement.

"Throughout grade school, we went through many things together. One of the most notable that I can remember is the experience of 'Family Life.' For weeks we sat next to each other, having silent conversations conversed by mutual looks of horror as we learned just how the human body works. On the last day of that class, a speaker came in summarize the unit and unveil the final horrors of adult hood.

"Taylor, ever the cunning 11 year old, conveniently _got sick_ on that day." Bella casted a playful accusing look at her parents and brother, making them and others laugh. She spoke addressing them, "I've always blamed you two for the things I had to explain to her when we reached high school."

Seeing the fond smiles mixed with tears uplifted Bella's spirits. "With that single exception, Taylor was incredibly bright and gifted. She always knew the answers to the questions, and when she didn't, you could bet that she would make something up. She then would proceed to convince not only the entire class, but the teacher, that she was right. I'm pretty sure she convinced us that Canada was part of the USA before the teacher corrected her."

"Many of you know how smart she was, and how involved in activities she was. Junior and senior year found the two of us in the National Honor Society, with Taylor as student body president. She had a tendency to study all through the night for tests, consume on an entire pot of coffee and then drive me insane the hours that led to the test," she paused and conspiringly pointed out, "She never really could hold her caffeine well."

Among the sea of chuckles, a smirk passed over Edward's lips and he finally tore his gaze away from the casket and turned to Bella.

"I think when we got to 7th grade and made the varsity high school team together was then, the happiest time of our lives. I couldn't have asked, or even dreamt of a better doubles partner. Taylor was everything you could want in a teammate: hardworking, encouraging, kind and she never, ever gave up."

Bella let out a shaky breath, clutching the wood beneath her fingers tightly as she fought to find words. Through the sea of people, her gaze found the tennis coach Kessler who was sitting a few pews back. Locking eyes with her, he nodded in encouragement.

"Some of you who know me know that I sometimes tend to look more at the darker side of things. If I won the lottery, I'd probably complain about why I didn't win a million dollars more." Looks of amused agreement appeared of several people's faces.

Bella opened her mouth to continue but faltered as she watched Molly crawl across the pew and into Edward's lap, where she settled, content with her father who was tenderly smiling down at her.

"Taylor was the complete opposite of that. She was positive to the point where it was sometimes overbearingly so. If we were ever losing a match, she would always cheerily point out, 'Hey! At least we're not in school!' and if I failed a test she would hasten to comfort me, 'It's only human biology…and everyone knows you never use that crap!'

"An incident that sticks out in my mind which basically describes Taylor was one tennis match our sophomore year. We were losing so badly, like we had ever lost before. Between the two of us, state tournament players, we had been unable to score even a _single_ point. It wasn't for lack of trying, as we fought as hard as we could. Right before the match that we lost 0-6, 0-6, Taylor lobed a ball over to their side which they returned and I volleyed it away from them, scoring our first point.

"Taylor dropped her racket, screamed in joy-" Bella broke off to laugh, shaking her head as tears leaked out of her eyes, "And she charged over to me, picked me up from the ground and spun me around, shouting the whole time, ecstatic that we had won one point."

Bella laughed along with crowd, even Edward joining in.

"I don't think it'd be far off to say that we were prouder in that moment, then when we won state together."

She caught Edward's eye and a silent thank you passed from his gaze. The incline of her head she returned was hardly perceptual.

"We went to different colleges after heavily making that decision and it was rough. After the first two weeks had passed, we called each other crying, missing one another and wanting to go home." Bella paused and her lips twitched up, "I feel the need to add that our colleges were about five minutes away from each other."

She fought back a laugh when she saw her parent's simultaneous eye roll.

"But we fought to stay best friends through the next four years by phone calls nearly every day and every weekend spent together. If anything, we only grew closer together. Her presence in my life was such an incredible gift, not only throughout that time, but all these past years."

Bella eyed Edward during a pause, carefully considering her next words.

"During that time, I got to watch as Taylor fell head over heels in love." She glanced at Edward and saw him take a steadying breath. Shakily, he met her gaze, and she saw his trust in her to say the right thing.

"Before I knew it, I was helping her plan a wedding and smiling as she doodled Taylor Cullen in notebook margins. If someone had told me before then that it was possible for Taylor to get any more happy than she already had been, I honestly would not have believed them. But Edward made her so incredibly happy."

She looked at Edward, addressing him directly. "Edward, you meant the world to her. You made her the happiest woman alive, and I'll forever be thankful for you. I could not have chosen a better man to have surrounded her with love and joy during the time she was with us in this world."

Edward closed his eyes briefly, and when he opened them, she had known that she had said the right thing.

"And it seems like just after that, along came Miss Molly." Bella grinned at the little girl in daddy's lap. Molly looked up at Bella and clapped, exclaiming, "Na!"

The crowd laughed as Bella grinned, "Yes, you sweetheart." As they quieted, Bella grew more somber, "Taylor was so amazing with her. She was an awesome mom, with the same qualities she had as a teammate and the tender nurturing and love she brought to motherhood. Molly lit up Taylor's world in a way I have never seen in my best friend's life, and she loved that little girl with all of her heart."

Tears slipped down Bella's cheeks, and her voice cracked as she spoke next. "I was so blessed to have made friends with that sassy little girl in the milk line.

"Taylor has been the most amazing friend to me, and she will truly always be my best friends, partner, closest confidant and sister. She made me the person who I am today."

Bella made no move to wipe away the tears. "I will never ever forget the way that her smile and sparkling eyes could light up a room, or the way that her hugs would make you feel like you were the most special person in the world. She will always be remembered as a sister to me, and I will miss her bright presence in my life more than words can express."

Quietly, so that people could barely hear, Bella closed her eyes and said, "Thank you, Taylor."

The church paused as if the words Bella had just said were being offered as a prayer.

As she made her way back to the pew, shakily wiping her tears, someone began to clap supportively. The applause was quickly joined in by many as she sat down between Edward and Emmett.

Edward reached out with the hand that wasn't grasping Molly, and took hold of her hand. She grasped it back tightly, letting out a shallow breath.

Edward knew he would never forget what Bella had just done for him and for Taylor. She had done what Taylor would have wanted. She had made the funeral a celebration of Taylor's life, and poked fun at her in a way only a sister could. She had reminded everyone that though it would be tempting to remember Taylor in the events that led to her death, it was imperative that they hold onto the things had made her so incredible.

And he would always be grateful.

* * *

_There's no one in town I know_  
_You gave us some place to go._  
_I never said thank you for that._  
_I thought I might get one more chance._

_What would you think of me now, so lucky, so strong, so proud?_  
_I never said thank you for that, now I'll never have a chance._

_May angels lead you in. Hear you me my friends._  
_On sleepless roads the sleepless go_  
_May angels lead you in._  
Hear You Me, Jimmy Eat World

* * *

**AN:** I'm super thrilled by your acceptance of Taylor! I totally appreciate your open minds and I promise it'll be worth it!

I hope ya'll won't hesitate to ask questions because I sometimes have a lot more of a back story in my mind that I forget my readers don't always know! New poll is up on my profile as well!

Next chapter: Molly's birth, after the funeral and more about the living will!


	6. Holes

**Important AN: **I wrote a huge ass note but ended up deleting it. I'm just gonna say this: _keep an open mind_. This story is gonna be an incredible journey and I pride myself on the ability to "keep it real." I treat my characters like real people with complex emotions, feelings and sarcasm. This story is gonna be real, it's gonna be intense, it's gonna be hard, and it's gonna leave you conflicted as hell, but in the end, I promise it will be worth it.

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Holes.

When children are young, they dig them in the yard or sand for fun, seeing how deep you can go and how dirty you can get.

He had used to dig holes all over the yard when he was a child. It had driven both of his parents insane, finding their nice yard full of various holes in the ground.

If someone were to ask him now, why he had enjoyed it then, he wouldn't have a ready answer. It was just something to do that had entertained him.

Holes were something that he had liked.

As an adult, faced with the most difficult time of his life, he was quickly reevaluating this outlook.

This reevaluation had everything to do with that fact that he was staring down the hole that was his wife's final resting place.

It was a big, square hole, very neat and precise in its length and width.

This hole made him sick.

~O~

The time that followed the arrival of Molly Cullen was hectic for the new family, but a time that was filled with so much joy and elation.

The first people to visit the newborn were incidentally her godparents. Bella, her godmother, was one of the first people to lay eyes on the baby girl as she was in the delivery room with her best friend. Emmett, squeamish as he was, was not allowed in the delivery room and anxiously waited out in the hallway as he listened to his sister-in-law with cringes.

Edward was at the head of the bed, supporting Taylor's body against his even after she had delivered. He was exhausted from the 26 hours that Taylor had been in labor but filled with happiness and love as he looked down at the bundle of pink that was in his wife's arms.

He had a daughter.

It was a concept that even with nine months to prepare for, still left him breathless with awe and wonder, disbelieving that such a gift had been bestowed to him.

The doctor and nurses cleaned up Taylor and her new daughter then did some tests and measured and weighed the little girl before settling her back in her parents arms. He gave the couple a parting smile and told them he would be back to check on them before slipping out of the room.

"I love you," Edward breathed, kissing the side of her forehead.

Taylor leaned back into his chest, a soft content sigh leaving her lips.

"Look at this thing we've created," she marveled.

Their daughter had rosy tiny lips which were puckered as she slept on obliviously. Her eyelids were a soft shade of lavender, her small amount of hair a silky light brown. Edward traced her cheek with utmost gentleness, marveling at how soft it was.

"This _thing_?" he asked quietly, an eyebrow rose at his tired wife.

Taylor's eyes widened at what she had just said, but when she noticed her husband was only teasing her and his eyes were dancing with amusement, she sighed again.

"This little miracle," she reworded.

He chuckled. "Better."

They were each quiet as they looked on their new baby, the completion of their young family.

The birth announcement would read: Molly Belle Cullen, 21 inches, 7 pounds 2 ounces born on May 25th.

"She's beautiful, Tay," he whispered.

Taylor turned her face into the crook of his neck. "So perfect," she agreed softly.

Edward rested his chin on her head. "She's going to have an incredible life. She'll have the world at her feet and know without a doubt that she is loved beyond words."

"I know, Daddy."

Hearing the word and knowing it was true made his heart want to burst of joy.

"Thank you Taylor."

"You're welcome Edward. I love you."

They rested for a while, Taylor dozing off into a much needed rest while Edward wrapped his arms around hers that were cradling their little girl. He quietly spoke to her, promising her that she was loved and that she would be loved and cared for forever. He promised her a bright future and a happy life, telling her how perfect she was as she slept on, unaware. Taylor, however, was not unaware and as she heard the things her husband was saying with such tenderness, a tear slipped unnoticed down her cheek.

"You know," Taylor said as she stretched out her sore legs, "I think your brother and Bella are going to beat down the door soon."

Edward smirked, glancing towards the hallway. "Well, I'm not willing to move."

Taylor rolled her eyes. "Bella!" she called, soft enough so that she would not alarm the baby.

As the door knob was turned open, Edward grinned, "That was good. I'm surprised you still have a voice left." It had been a loud labor as well as a lengthy one.

Taylor shook her head. "Was I really that loud?"

"YES!"

Bella smacked Emmett in the arm, hissing at him to lower his voice as the new parents laughed quietly at the rookie uncle.

"You weren't that loud, I'm sure the walls are just really thin," Edward assured her. Taylor smirked at his blatant life. She knew she had screamed like a wild banshee.

"So thin," Bella agreed.

Emmett who was staring in wonder at his niece, said, "Whatever bro, I heard you yelling a couple times."

Taylor and Bella giggled as Edward glared at his obnoxious brother.

"Would you like to hold her?" Taylor asked Bella who was unconsciously inching closer to the baby.

Without hesitation, Bella nodded eagerly.

Edward and Taylor watched as Bella carefully took their daughter into her arms. Once the baby was settled, Taylor relaxed back against Edward's chest. He was still very alert as he watched Molly carefully, even if he and Taylor trusted her with their lives.

Over the past few years, Edward and Bella had bonded to the point where he completely understood his wife's decision to make her her best friend, and he couldn't imagine their lives without Bella in them. They had a good friendship and an uncanny understanding of each other. He was really glad to be able call her his friend.

"When do I get to hold Little C?" Emmett asked as he crowded over Bella's shoulders. Bella rolled her eyes before cooing and smiling at the baby.

"Little C?" Taylor asked with her eyebrows rose.

Emmett, who was making a big smiley face at the baby, shrugged. "Little Cullen. It's not like you guys have given us any indication that she'll ever have a name."

Taylor laughed weakly while Edward smirked. They had been very silent about name choices, and as a result, no one had any idea of what they named their daughter.

Taylor craned her neck and eyed her husband who in turn shrugged. She turned back at looked at the expectant godparents…who had not yet been told they were godparents.

"Well…" Taylor started, smiling.

"We would like you to meet Molly Cullen," Edward finished with a beam.

"Hi Molly," Bella cooed, a bright smile on her face as gazed lovingly at the baby.

Emmett, teddy bear that he was, couldn't help but quietly grin at the kid who he knew would eventually be his partner in crime.

"It's a beautiful name," Bella complimented softly.

"Thanks," Edward and Taylor replied together, grinning at each other.

Emmett looked accusingly at them. "Are you two going to be those weird parents that don't give their kid a middle name?"

Edward laughed, "No Emmett. She has a middle name."

Taylor caught Bella's eye as she announced, "Her full name is Molly Belle Cullen."

Bella's eyes began to water as her best friend smiled at her. With one hand, she wiped at the tears that leaked out. She carefully passed Molly into Emmett's waiting arms.

"Can I hug you?"

Taylor's own eyes watered. She nodded.

Bella crossed the distance and then wrapped Taylor up into a hug which she returned with fierceness that did not reflect her tired state. Edward leaned back as he watched the women with a grin.

"I'm going to spoil the hell out of her," Bella swore as she pulled away from the embrace, wiping at the tears. Taylor grinned.

"I gave her your name because I want her to be as smart, funny, beautiful and strong as you are. And I know that you'll always protect her and be there for her even if I'm not. And if I'm ever not here, I know that you will love her enough for the both of us."

"I will," she promised. "You're making me cry again," Bella laughed as she leaned back in to hug her. The flood of emotions and happiness that she felt for her friend was overwhelming.

When they broke from their embrace and Bella moved off the bed, Emmett and Edward were beaming at them, so happy and a little tired that they were completely bearing their emotions. Bella attacked Edward with a hug as well.

Edward looked at his giant brother who was cradling his daughter like fragile glass. "Em, I know you'll always have this little girl's back, no matter what." Emmett grinned, knowing that he probably wouldn't ever side with Edward when he and his daughter began to get into arguments.

Taylor smiled, knowing what Emmett was thinking. She looked over at the two of them and said, "We would like you two to be Molly's godparents."

"Of course," Bella replied while Emmett enthusiastically boomed, "Hell yeah!"

Edward smacked his forehead, knowing that they would have to work on his volume level eventually. Molly started to stir, having heard the loud acceptance of her back up guardianship.

Emmett rocked the baby soothingly, "Sorry, little lady."

Bella placed her hand on his arm. "Emmett, just give the baby back before Edward pops a blood vessel." Edward looked sheepish knowing that Bella had seem him stiffen as soon as Molly moved.

"I'd say you're right," Emmett chuckled. He put the baby back into Edward's arms.

They watched as Taylor shifted to the side so she wouldn't squish her daughter. Edward cradled the baby tenderly, pulling her into his chest and smiling softly down at her.

It was quiet in the room as the three of them watched the father daughter embrace. It was Emmett who broke the silence eventually.

He threw his arm around Bella's shoulders. "Come on, Bella, I think it's time you reconsider your rejection of me, and we start making babies of our own!"

Bella burst out laughing as Taylor giggled along. Edward rolled his eyes, fighting a chuckle.

She playfully nudged him. "Sorry Em, you're either going to have to settle with being an uncle or find another lucky lady, 'cause it won't be happening with this girl."

Emmett took the rejection into stride. "My genes and the ones you would bring…that kid would be unstoppable."

"Well, I suppose the world will never know."

"A good thing, I'm sure," Edward laughed.

The four of them spoke for only a little while longer, as the new family was clearly tired as hell. And the new grandparents were eagerly on their way to visit before hours were over.

"Come on Em, let's leave Mom and Dad here alone," Bella said a little while later.

Emmett gave Edward a one armed hug and gave each the daughter and mother a soft kiss on the cheek as he prepared to leave. Bella hugged Taylor tightly and kissed Molly's soft head.

She leaned in and gave Edward a hug just as tight as Taylor's. "Thank you, Bella," he whispered, referring not only to the long labor she had assisted in, but the role she had agreed to play in his daughter's life.

"You're welcome. Whenever you guys need me, I'll always be there."

~O~

Edward unlocked the door to the house, opening it for Bella and Molly who was passed out against her chest. As he closed it, he noted that where feelings should have been, he felt only exhaustion and numbness.

Bella collapsed gently onto the soft leather couch, careful not to wake Molly. Edward walked past them and into the kitchen to set down the three things of hot dish that had been made and given to him. With a weary sigh he turned and went to join Bella on the couch.

It had been an exhausting day, and beyond the numbness, he realized that his feet hurt. In the span of the day he had attended his wife's funeral, burial and then a luncheon at her parent's house for her close friends and family.

He was stretched thin after all those people expressed their sympathies and condolences. In the back of his mind he knew they only meant well, but he couldn't help but feel a stirring of anger. Yes, they were truly sorry for his loss, but he knew that husbands would hold their wives longer tonight, thankful that they weren't Edward. He knew that mothers would hug their children just a bit tighter, thanking God that they hadn't been taken from them.

He was done. He was tired and he was weary. He didn't want to have to be strong as people watched him, he didn't want to have to nod when people said sorry, or lie and say "alright" when they asked how he was. He was not okay and he was sick and tired of having to hold himself together when on the inside he was shattered and felt like he himself had died.

He was just so tired.

Edward just wanted his wife back. He wanted to go upstairs and see her in their bed, waiting to talk to him and then just hold him. It hurt so fucking much. It killed him knowing that he would never see her again, at least not in this life time.

One of the worst parts of being so tired was the knowledge that he would not get any sleep tonight. The most sleep he had gotten in the past week had been an hour and a half one night. Otherwise, he tossed and turned, the sheets twisting between his legs and the pillow always warm and uncomfortable. He was unable to escape his thoughts, and if one can't do that when they sleep, where the hell can they?

The final thing he wanted was just to be able to breathe again.

With his heart heavy and broken, it was affecting his lungs. Breathing was supposed to be easy, probably the easiest thing you can do in your life. But in life, if your reason has been taken away, it makes it hard to breathe, and remember why you even are.

He didn't notice that he had sighed until he saw that Bella was looking over at him, sadness in her eyes.

"How are you doing?"

Edward dropped his head against the back of the couch. "Okay."

She snorted softly. "Edward, you've never lied to me before, please don't start now."

He eyed her and saw what a mess she was. Her make-up had come off from crying at some point through the day and her hair had gotten undone and messy. Her black dress was pretty, but it had gotten wrinkled from having Molly with her so much.

"Well then in that case, I'm doing pretty shitty."

She was silent, the only motion she was making was the hand soothingly rubbing Molly's small back.

"You?" he asked.

"_Really_ shitty."

"Your eulogy was beautiful."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Thanks."

"No, thank _you_."

They each thought back to her words back at the church. Edward had appreciated what she had done more than he knew how to say. Many others felt the same as he and told her so throughout the day. It made it only a little better to know that she had done something for Taylor right.

Edward sighed again, looking at the two. Bella let her breath out, feeling the same way he did.

"What are we going to do?" Edward asked quietly.

"I don't know," she replied, equally as soft.

Edward stroked Molly's arm with his finger, feeling how silky smooth it was.

"What are _you_ going to do?" he asked, rephrasing.

Bella sighed. "What do you want me to do?"

Edward was silent, thinking intently.

"I'd like it if you stayed."

When Bella had no real reaction, Edward hastened to add, "I mean, I know it's a lot to ask, and if you can't or would rather not, that's fine, I completely unders-"

She raised her hand cutting him off. "Edward you're not asking anything that I didn't agree to on the day Molly was born."

"But things change," he protested.

She shook her head and then kissed Molly's head. "But my promise to Taylor and you hasn't, and I don't want to break it. I swore I would protect, love and care for Molly if she ever couldn't and that's what I intend to do."

He remembered something from a few nights ago. "What did you mean the other night when you said it was in the will or something?"

"You never read her living will?" she asked quietly.

Edward blew out a breath and answered with somewhat bitterness, "I never knew she had one." He was a fucking lawyer, and he didn't even know his wife had a living will.

She eyed him, with somewhat disapproval at his tone. "Edward, it wasn't in any way a betrayal. There was nothing in it that was life changing, she was only prepared. And she was prepared for Molly. How long would it have been before you agreed as her next of kin to take her off the ventilator?"

Knowing it was rhetorical question, he felt no need to respond.

"She made that decision for you, and you should be thankful. She knew that somehow you would feel guilty, and she didn't want to put that on you."

"I wish I would have known," he said.

"I know," she agreed, defeated.

Molly shifted in her sleep and they looked down at her, each holding their breaths to see if she would wake up or not. When it was clear that she would continue to slumber, Edward asked.

"But what else was in the will?"

"It was a request, asking that if something ever happen to her, that Molly's godmother, Isabella Marie Swan step in and assist in her care by means of staying at the residence in which she lived for six months or until Ms. Swan feels that Molly will be properly taken care of, but preferably the six month period."

Edward was speechless.

He fell with his elbows on his knees, burying his face in his hands in shame as the words and their meaning registered.

Bella was silent as she watched him struggle through whatever war was waging through his mind. She knew that asking him what he was feeling would be pushing, and she was able to wait for him to speak.

Finally Edward turned his face towards Bella, unmoving from his position.

"She didn't trust me with Molly."

Bella's mouth fell open in shock at his conclusion.

"How can you even say that? Taylor trusted you with her life and most certainly the life of your daughter."

"Yes, that explains why she went to legal measures to make sure someone was here to care for Molly since I am unable to," he agreed sarcastically.

"You know that's not the case."

"Really, Bella?" he questioned, "Then what the hell is the case?"

Her eyebrow twitched, not appreciating the tone.

"You would have wanted Emmett here with Taylor if something ever happened to you. Edward, you don't know how to parent for two. Your hours at the office are long, and Molly should not suffer because life snatched away her mom. She deserves to be loved every minute of the day, and between the two of us, we can do that."

He knew she was right and believed she was right, but it was hard to accept.

"I did just ask you to stay."

Bella's lips tipped up, hearing the quiet apology in his words. "I was going to point that out, but didn't in an effort to appear less…blunt."

Edward snorted softly, Bella was definitely someone who was honest to say the least. But in truth, he had always admired that about her.

"So you will?" he asked, almost hopefully. He knew there was no way he would be able to handle Molly all on his own, especially when he went back to work…not that he was sure when he would be ready for that.

And he really just needed a friend.

"Yes, Edward. Of course I'll stay."

* * *

_The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight_  
_Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time_  
_I am here still waiting though i still have my doubts_  
_I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out_

_I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing_  
_With a broken heart that's still beating_  
_In the pain, there is healing_  
_In your name I find meaning_  
_So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on_  
_I'm barely holdin' on to you_  
Broken, Lifehouse

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**AN:** I wanted to just really thank you guys for your reviews last chapter, because they inspired me on how the end of this story should go, as it had been a little foggy. I appreciate you letting me know your thoughts so that I have a feel for the climate of this story!

On that note, this story will be in 3 parts. This is Part 1, and Part 2 with begin chapter 12. Part 3...well, still working on it.

Have a good week and I'll see you next weekend! (:


	7. Going On

Going on.

Once things are said and done, and everything is over, one has nothing more to do but go on.

Go on with your life, because life will not wait for you. The Earth will continue to rotate, day slipping into night before once again returning in the morning, cars will drive by, people will go to work, and things will keep moving.

But it is how you go on that was something he did not understand.

How can you keep going, and try and pick your life back up together, after such a tragedy has struck?

He was lost without her, and even though he had so much support in life, he himself would have to continue the battle, the battle of time moving ahead.

The thing about going on is that you have no choice in the matter, you will continue, no matter how slowly or sadly.

~O~

"Good morning, Mr. Cullen," his secretary greeted him.

Edward sighed.

"Lily, I've told you every morning for the past six months that you can call me Edward."

Lily, one of the best legal secretaries in the area, grinned. "I have selective hearing when it suits me. Coffee?" she asked, holding up a coffee from Starbucks.

Edward grinned and took the cup from her, noticing a ring on her left hand. "Ah, John finally worked up the nerve then, huh?"

Lily smiled brightly. "Last night!"

"Congratulations, he's a good guy," Edward said sincerely.

Ever since becoming a Junior Partner at Watson Cullen Law six months ago, he had been given his own office and his own secretary, who happened to be Lily. Lily was a red head who was a hard worker and good company, and he enjoyed her.

"Thank you. Do you want your schedule for the day?" she asked, glancing at her computer.

"Sure," he shrugged before taking a drink of coffee. He had a pretty good idea of who he would be meeting with and what cases he had to work on. He didn't have to be in court either.

"Mike Newton from finances will be giving you the numbers on the Wilson case at 9am," Edward grimaced, "You're expected at lunch with Mr. Johnson at 303, at noon and then after that at 2, you are meeting with a new client who wants to explore options."

"A new client?" Edward asked with his eyebrows rose.

Lily shrugged, "She wants to discuss something about her child's care, something about a baby I believe…maybe a custody case."

"I haven't done a custody case in years. This firm usually doesn't do child services."

Lily looked back her computer. "It might be Mr. Watson's idea; you know how he is about images."

"Why did I get stuck with it?" he asked, annoyed.

"The women must have requested you," she replied.

Edward smirked. "Well, I am kind of a big deal…"

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'll send her in at 2."

"Anything else?" he asked.

"No, that's all. Have a good day, Mr. Cullen."

Edward slipped into his office that had glass walls and large windows. It was a large office with plenty of space for him to personalize it. He loved his office, especially considering that he had been in a cubicle as an associate for two years.

Many people thought that it was his parents that pushed him into law, which would be a fair assumption since his father was a founding partner of one of the most prestigious firms in the area.

But it wasn't really true.

One only had to look at Emmett to know their parents were hardly pushy or controlling. He ditched law school to gallivant across the world for two years, and they were happy for him and the experiences he had. Edward had chosen to go into law because it was something that he loved and had a passion for...

And he was really good at it.

His case record was astounding, because 9 times out of 10, he won.

The day passed like a usual one. He met with Newton, gritted his teeth through the man's annoying speaking, went to lunch with one of his clients, something that happened at least twice a week and then settled back into his desk to catch up on paperwork for upcoming cases.

When he looked through the glass walls and he saw his beautiful wife Taylor speaking with Lily, he grinned. He rose from his desk and went to pull open the door.

"Hey sweetheart," he greeted as he kissed her cheek.

She smiled radiantly at him. "Hi honey, how's it going?"

He grinned. "Good, especially now that you're here. Let's go into my office, I have a few minutes." He glanced at his watch and saw that he had a couple minutes before his new client would be arriving.

Had his back not been turned, he would have seen the wink that Lily gave his wife as he took her hand.

Taylor was about to sit down in one of the chairs facing his desk, but he pulled her around the desk with him. He sat in his chair and gently pulled him onto his lap.

"Edward, you have glass walls," she protested after he kissed her lightly.

He smirked as he kissed her again. "I fail to see why that is a problem."

"And you went to Harvard…?" she teased.

"Fine," he conceded, pulling back from her, "we'll sneak into a supply closet later."

"Okay," she laughed, "works for me."

"How's your day going?" he asked, settling back into his chair, still hugging her waist.

"Great! The kids loved the marble painting we did this morning."

Taylor taught preschool at an elementary school, alternating between morning classes on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays, and afternoon classes the other two days. She loved little kids, and as time had passed, she had gotten better with them. It had surprised people when she went into that field, since Taylor wasn't always good with kids, no matter how much she liked them.

"And no one threw paint at anyone?" he asked, grinning. Taylor had come home a few weeks ago, frustrated at her children that had decided to dump cups of paint on one another.

"Nope!" she announced triumphantly.

"Well congratulations then." He kissed the side of her head gently.

"Speaking of that, did you see Lily's ring?" she wondered excitedly.

Edward chuckled. "Yeah, John finally got it together I guess."

Taylor laughed. "Edward, not everyone proposes two months after meeting someone."

"They would if they were lucky enough to have you," he grinned, kissing her. "And they've been dating for like six years!"

"I'm so glad you know the happenings of your employees so well, Mr. Cullen."

Edward smirked. He glanced down at his watch and saw that it was now five past 2. He frowned when he glanced out towards Lily's desk and didn't see a woman waiting.

"Speaking of Lily…" he trailed off, reaching around her for his phone.

He pushed a few buttons as he held the receiver to his ear. He watched Lily answer. "Hey, Lily, where's my 2 o'clock?"

"She's in your office, Mr. Cullen."

Edward frowned, looking around.

"Lily, the only one in here is Taylor…" he trailed off, looking at his wife who had a small smile on her lips as she watched him.

"Thanks Lily," he said before hanging up the phone, not taking his eyes off of Taylor.

"You're my appointment?" he asked, confused.

Taylor smiled, nodding. "Well, I wanted the best lawyer in the state."

"But Lily said my client was asking something about a baby…" he let his sentence hang as he saw Taylor nod once more, glowing as she smiled.

His eyes widened.

"Are you…"

"Yes, I'm pregnant."

Edward lit up. "Really?" he asked, excitedly.

She nodded. "Really."

He wrapped his arms around her tightly as he stood up. He kissed her as he spun her around gently.

"A baby?" he asked, grinning as he sat her down. His hands slid down to her flat stomach.

"A baby," she agreed, eyes shining.

"We're going to have a baby!" he exclaimed.

Taylor laughed as he kissed her face again repeatedly.

"Are you happy?" she asked, smiling.

"So incredibly happy."

~O~

When Bella woke up in the morning, having finally moved from the couch to the guest bedroom, she felt odd.

Each day since Taylor had passed, or really slipped into her coma for that matter, she had woken up with a sense of purpose, and drive. Yes, there was sadness and despair, but she had had a reason to push them away and keep going.

But now, this morning after the funeral, she was feeling odd. As she lay in her bed, she reflected that she had nothing to do today that would keep her busy, and as a result, her thoughts away.

True she had Molly to keep her busy, but it wouldn't surprise her if Edward was having the same thoughts as she was right now. He absolutely had priority over Molly and she would definitely back off if that's what he needed.

She stretched out all of her sleepy limbs, letting a yawn out. The house was silent, so she figured Molly and Edward were still asleep, or quietly together. She didn't want to get out of the bed. And hell, she decided, she had no reason to. If Molly was okay, and she didn't have to be at work, she was going to sleep in.

As she drifted back into sleep, trying to catch up on all the hours she had lost, there was a quiet knock on the door downstairs. She slept through it.

The other occupant of the house, however, did not.

Edward had hardly gotten any sleep the previous night, save a few hours towards 3am, and was awake in bed, staring at the ceiling. When he heard the knock, he let out a quiet groan, knowing he would have to be the one to go downstairs and answer it.

He rolled out of his bed and slipped out the stairs. He saw that Bella's door was still closed, and Molly was continuing to sleep. As he slightly stumbled down the stairs, he realized that in life, he depended on coffee more than anything. He quickly turned the coffee maker on before going and answering the front door.

Carlisle Cullen was standing on the front porch looking decidedly more kept than Edward. His suit was pressed and immaculate, and his face quite clearly awake.

"Hey Dad," he yawned.

Carlisle smiled at his son's greeting. "Morning, Edward."

"Want to come in?" he asked, weary of the bright morning sun which was blinding him.

"If you don't mind," he agreed, stepping in. "I just wanted to talk to you about a few quick things before I head into work."

Edward raised an eyebrow at his father. "Dad, you live within five minutes of the firm. I live a half hour out of the way of it."

Carlisle gave him a small grin. "Doesn't mean I've been into work yet."

Edward rolled his eyes as he sat down on the couch and his father took the armchair.

"This is about work then, I'm guessing."

Carlisle nodded, looking sad at the miserable tone he had just used. "I'm sorry son, I know this isn't a good time and this is probably the last thing you want to think about. I promise I'll be gone shortly and won't bug you."

He nodded at his father silently.

Carlisle stared at his son, torn. Edward broke away from his gaze and stared down at the table. Carlisle cleared his throat. "Emmett and I are dividing your current case load and clients amongst us for your leave of absence. Emmett is still an associate, but I think we'll play the Cullen name and the clients with be alright with it for the time being."

Edward gave a small nod.

"If he does well this, and I believe he will, I think he can expect to be made Junior Partner in the next year or so."

Carlisle saw that his son wasn't remotely interested in this, nor did he pretend to be. He sighed and opened his brief case which he had set on the table.

"Edward…" he started, looking down at the files in front of him. The hesitation caught his attention, and Edward glanced up with slight curiosity.

Carlisle met his son's eye. "The driver who hit Taylor…we're going after him and the trucking company he works for."

Edward showed no signs of reaction.

But inside, his heart stopped.

Carlisle continued slowly, almost apologetically. "We've hired investigators and are in the preliminary stages of reviewing the police documents of the accident."

Still, Edward could form no words.

"We're going to sue that company for any misdeeds we can lay on them, and if they don't agree to a settlement, we are taking their asses to court."

Finally, Edward moved. He rubbed his face tiredly, staring down at the floor.

"Who?" he asked.

"Watson and I are handling it."

Edward looked up at his father in surprise. Marcus Watson was not really Carlisle or his son's favorite person. Yes, he was a founding partner, but the man was far more power hungry and plotting than Carlisle was. The only reason he had never called the firm to vote on either Carlisle or him for managing partner or essentially president of the firm, was because he knew Carlisle would win and hold onto his title.

"Really?" he asked.

Carlisle solemnly nodded. "I know he's not out favorite person, but the man is one hell of a lawyer. And he liked Taylor, thought she was a wonderful girl."

Edward quietly replied, "That was a universal opinion, I think."

"I think you're right."

Carlisle saw that his son was not ready for much company. He thought it best to be on his way soon. He also figured it was best to leave work out of the conversation for the time being.

"Your Mom wanted to know how you felt about her coming to say for a couple weeks or so."

Edward sighed. "It's okay, Dad. She doesn't need to come stay with us."

Carlisle didn't look convinced. "She would be here just to help with Molly and keep the house clean and whatnot."

Edward shook his head. "Did you know that Taylor had a living will?"

Carlisle looked puzzled. "I didn't, but it doesn't seem uncommon." He saw his son frown and ventured to guess, "Did you know?"

"Not a clue."

"And this pertains to your Mom…?" he hedged.

Edward sighed once again. "She arranged for Bella to stay with us for six months, helping with Molly's care."

Understanding dawned Carlisle's face. "That was incredibly thoughtful of her."

Slowly, Edward nodded.

"Is she here already?" he wondered.

The stairs creaking alerted both men to the presence of another. Bella, wearing her sleeping shorts and a somewhat baggy t-shirt made her way down the stairs, bleary eyed and yawning.

"Morning, Edward," she yawned. She saw Carlisle and blinked, waking up. "Hi, Mr. Cullen," she greeted with sudden cheeriness.

Carlisle smiled at the disheveled young woman. "Hello, Bella. And I once again feel compelled to tell you that it's Carlisle, not Mr. Cullen."

Bella smiled. "Sorry to interrupt. I smelled the coffee and it lured me out of bed."

"The pot should be about done," Edward replied.

Bella nodded and gave a wave to Carlisle before slipping away and into the kitchen.

"I'm glad she's here," Carlisle commented.

Softly, almost inaudibly, Edward said, "So am I."

Carlisle patted his lap. "Well you're clearly in good hands; your mother will be satisfied. I'll let you go on with your day," he said, standing up from the armchair. Edward stood with him and walked to the front door in step alongside him.

Carlisle gave his son a hug, tighter than Edward could ever remember from his father. He found himself returning the hug wordlessly.

When the father and son broke apart, Carlisle clapped his hand on his son's shoulder. "Hang in there, Edward. It'll be okay."

Edward nodded. It didn't seem relevant to tell his father that he didn't entirely believe him on that statement.

"Mom and I will stop by over the weekend if that's okay," he said, dropping his hand.

"Yeah, that'll be fine."

Carlisle nodded and opened the front door. "Give Molly a kiss from her grandparents."

Edward inclined his head as his father slipped out the door, turning to give a half wave as he walked to his shiny black Mercedes parked in the driveway.

Edward walked into the kitchen with no coherent thought other than the fact that he needed coffee. He saw Bella already seated on a stool at the counter, a laptop running and her sipping her own coffee. There was another mug of dark steaming liquid set on the counter by her, which Edward sat down by thankfully.

"Everything okay with your dad?" she asked, not taking her eyes off the screen where she appeared to be checking emails.

"He and Emmett are splitting up my cases while I'm on leave of absence," he informed her. His father had not asked when he thought he would go back to work and Edward was grateful, because he did not know the answer at the time.

She nodded.

"That's sweet of them."

Edward took a swing of his coffee before asking. "What about you? When are you going back to work?"

Bella sighed. "I'm not sure. I'm still in talks with New York."

Edward raised an eyebrow.

She quirked a small smile. "Well okay, not actual New York. Mr. Collins, the president of the company, is based in the New York office and I've been emailing him."

Bella worked at Gray Books a major publishing company in the United States. There were four different offices across the country, New York City, New York being the first and head location. One was in Miami, Florida and another in Sacramento, California. The forth and newest branch of the company was in St. Paul, Minnesota.

Bella had interned in New York one summer in college and worked primarily for Mr. Collins himself. She had beat out hundreds of applicants for the internship and it had been a wonderful experience. When she finished school, Mr. Collins offered her an editing position at Gray Books. After two years and extraordinary work and management, she was offered the head position of the St. Paul branch.

"How long do you think he'll let you take off? Do you even want to be away from work that long?" Edward wondered.

Bella shrugged. "He'll give me a couple weeks leave I'm sure. And to be honest, I think I need that time."

Edward knew he needed time as well and was glad that Bella would not be in any rush to go back either. It had been such a huge, traumatic experience and they both needed time to themselves to heal. He knew as well as she did, that were they to back within the next couple of days they would end up in tears at any given point and probably get stared at by various coworkers.

She continued, "I won't be entirely off. I think I'll get back to the part of my job that I really love and read some of the manuscripts that have been submitted to me."

He nodded, taking another drink of his coffee.

They sat in comfortable silence, each nursing their coffee and left to their own thoughts. They were each on their second cup when a cry from the upstairs nursery startled them both.

"You or me?" Edward asked.

"I'll go," she volunteered, pushing away from the counter.

Bella went upstairs and picked up a very sad Molly from her crib. She gently walked around the room, rocking her to try and calm her. When Molly's only response was to continue crying, she went and changed her diaper, confused at finding it dry.

"Are you hungry, sweetie pie?" she asked, running her hand over the little girl's hair and checking her forehead for a fever.

Bella decided she must just be hungry and went back down the stairs. Edward was on the ball and had already cut up a banana to give her. They settled Molly into a high chair to eat, but she only continued to cry, not even noticing the bananas.

"Is she wet?" Edward asked after Molly had not looked at the soft pears they had put in front of her and instead kept crying.

"I just changed her," she replied. She picked up Molly from her seat and settled her on her hip bouncing around to try and calm her.

Molly only cried harder. Edward and Bella were beginning to stress as Molly's face only remained upset and red, tears sliding down her cheeks.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked him, lost.

Edward shook his head worriedly. "I don't know. She's never like this."

"Wanna try?" she asked, nodding down at his very upset daughter.

"Sure."

He leaned in and picked her up in his arms, cooing to her softly as he rubbed her back. She cried louder if anything.

"You could try walking around, I guess," Bella said uselessly.

Edward began walking slowly around the house, continuing to rub her back and speak softly to her. Bella was cleaning up in the kitchen when she noticed that there were a few seconds where her cries would almost completely die down. Confused, she went over to lean on the wall near the living room.

She watched Edward walking in almost a circle, and the continued occasional absence of cries. When she finally realized what calmed Molly, her knees threatened to give out.

"Edward," she said. He looked over at her and she nodded to the large framed photograph of Taylor and Edward over the fireplace. "She just wants to see Taylor."

She didn't miss his look of utter panic.

Edward hesitantly walked over to the fireplace and angled Molly so that she could look up at the picture. When he saw that her cries immediately stopped, his eyes widened and he looked over at Bella.

Bella had her fingers over her mouth as tears leaked from her eyes. He watched as she slowly slid down the wall, ending up sitting in a curled position as she watched Molly gaze up at her mother.

"She just wants her mom," she whispered tearfully.

Edward's own eyes watered as he looked down at his daughter who had Taylor's very same eyes. She was looking up at Taylor with a sense of love and loss that should not be so prominent in a one year old.

"Edward?" Bella asked, as she tried in vain to wipe the tears, "How are we going to do this?"

He looked at Molly and shook his head.

"I don't know."

* * *

_I know you didn't b__ring me out here to drown _  
_So why am I 10 feet under and upside down? _  
_Barely surviving has become my purpose _  
_Cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface_

_If I could just see you _  
_Everything will be alright, if I see you _  
_The storminess will turn to light _

_And I will walk on water _  
_And you will catch me if I fall _  
_And I will get lost into your eyes _  
_And everything will be alright _  
Storm, Lifehouse

* * *

**AN:** Goodness, I don't how much more heartbreak these guys (or my readers!) can take :(

This chapter was one of the first real looks into the lives that E&B had been living before the accident and how they will try to continue them and merge them together somehow.

Next chapter: My_ Sincerely, Sergeant Masen_ readers will be glad to see their favorite coach back! Brenner will be Kessler in this story and will be helping Bella figure life out, and a look into Taylor and Edward's marriage!

Welcome aboard to my new readers and thank you so much for your reviews!


	8. Mentors

Mentors.

You can call them many different names: advisors, teachers, sponsors, counselors, parents, or coaches.

The title for these people is irrelevant. It's what they do and teach you that matters. They will teach you about life and about yourself, they will help you when you need it and guide you through new or difficult experiences.

It's only a few certain people that are strong enough and smart enough to get by without a little help from someone a little wiser than you.

In some ways, his wife had fit the description of mentor. She taught him so many things in the time they knew each other, and she was next to him through events that he had never encountered before, notably, parenting.

She taught him how to love life and smile for no damn reason.

He wished so much that she were still here with him. He needed someone to guide him and get him through all of it.

He wasn't strong enough to go it alone.

~O~

In order to get married in the church they had wanted, they had been required to go to counseling with the priest. Edward hadn't been particularly excited about it, but Taylor had gone into it with an open mind.

The first two sessions had been rather boring. The priest had mostly just gotten to know them and told them a lot about marriage and what a commitment it was and so forth.

The third session was when it got entertaining. The priest pulled out a list of questions, two white boards and a couple markers. He handed one to each of them and separated the chairs they were in so they were facing one another. He looked at them thoughtfully.

"Can each of you please write down Edward's favorite color?" he asked.

Taylor looked confused as she glanced at Edward. She wrote down _Blue_.

The priest looked at Edward with raised eyebrows. "Edward?"

He was as confused as his fiancé. He held up his own board. "Yeah, it's blue."

"Taylor's favorite flower?"

They each wrote down _roses_ and passed that round.

"What is Edward's favorite baseball team?"

_Yankees_ was scribbled down on each board hastily.

"Taylor's favorite animal?"

_Cats_ was on the boards even faster.

"What is Edward's dream destination?"

Edward and Taylor each glanced at each other in surprise and somewhat panic. Edward carefully wrote down "_Fuji_." Taylor on the other hand when it came down to it, wrote "_Hawaii_."

"Well 3 out 4 doesn't seem entirely awful," Taylor hedged.

The priest nodded encouragingly. "That's right, Taylor. Your optimism is a great gift to bring to marriage." He silently glanced at Edward for a second, a look which the latter interrupted as accusing.

Taylor grinned smugly at him, with a soft, "Hmph."

"Let's continue. What's Edward's favorite book?"

Taylor rolled her eyes as she answered. Edward grinned to himself as he wrote _Harry Potter_ on his board. Needless to say, they got that one right.

"Very good. What is Taylor's favorite season?"

Edward couldn't well but wonder why the hell it mattered, but obliged and wrote _spring_.

The priest nodded at both of them and then glanced down at his paper. "Another one correct. I think we can proceed to the more difficult questions now."

"Taylor's biggest fear growing up was what?"

Taylor slowly wrote down _the dark_ while Edward thought about it and then decided on c_lowns_.

When they held them up, Edward was shocked. "How could you _not_ have been afraid of clowns? They are disturbed people."

Taylor looked at the priest. "That's true, I was afraid of clowns."

The priest raised an eyebrow at Taylor. "More than the dark?"

She bit her lip. With an apologetic tone she replied, "I really did hate the dark. It was unreasonable how much, actually."

"Alright, let's move on then. What was Edward's favorite class in high school?"

Taylor automatically wrote down _Phy Ed_ while Edward scratched _US History_ onto his.

When they held them up, Edward was somewhat offended. "Really? Phy Ed?"

Taylor shrugged. "I thought it was a guy thing. I kind of always figured you were the kid who thought it was the Olympics too."

"Well, I kinda was," he admitted. "But that doesn't mean it was my favorite."

The priest cleared his throat and waited for their attention. "I did say these questions were going to be harder and I urge you to truly put yourself in the other's mind to come up with your answer." He looked back down at the paper of questions.

"How many kids does Edward want to have?"

Taylor wrote _2_ hesitantly, while Edward wrote _4_.

As they glanced at each other with somewhat sheepishness, the priest said, "Okay, let's try it the other way. How many kids does Taylor want to have?"

Edward wrote _3_, while Taylor left the _2_ on her board. The sheepishness turned slightly awkward at those answers. The priest ignored it and continued.

"Who is Edward's mentor?"

Edward had to think about it for longer than Taylor did something he found interesting.

Taylor's answer of _Carlisle Cullen_ was acceptable as matching Edward's _My Dad_.

"And who was Taylor's favorite teacher in high school?"

Edward was at a loss as Taylor quickly wrote down her answer. He couldn't remember her ever really talking about any of her teachers and as a result, he was screwed. Figuring that the odds of her having had a _Mrs. Williams_ were decent, he scratched it down.

He was wrong.

"Edward, I don't even know a Mrs. Williams," she told him.

"Really?" he asked, surprised, "It's like the 2nd most common last name in the country."

The fact of the matter was that her board read _Daniel Kessler_ and his wasn't even reasonably close.

By the time they had finished the activity, they were both feeling a little out of sorts. When the priest told them they had scored a 26/50, Edward was somewhat surprised at how high the number was.

"Man," Edward said as he slipped his arm around her shoulder and they exited the church, "We nailed that shit."

Taylor burst out laughing.

"Phy Ed really wasn't your favorite?" she asked after her giggles had subsided.

"Nope, had a weird teacher."

"Really?"

"Yeah, he was a crazy."

"Oh. That sucks."

"Yup."

~O~

Bella came down the stairs, looking around and finding Molly sitting on Edward's lap on the couch. She went over and propped her elbows on the back of it, leaning to see what they were doing.

Edward turned and saw her hovering over. He glanced back down and helped Molly carefully turn the page of the photo album.

"Was she crying again?" she wondered softly.

He nodded. "My arms got tired of holding her by the fireplace so I figured this was a good enough solution."

Bella said nothing as she watched Molly put her hand on the picture of Taylor on the 4th of July where she had gotten her proposal.

The previous day had been hard for both of them, or really, all three of them. Molly had had a bad day and was hard to console as she whimpered and cried. The only thing that worked, they had quickly discovered, was holding her so that she could see Taylor's picture.

Bella was working to burn a copy of the slide show that had played at her wake onto a CD for Molly to watch on the TV. It was almost unbelievable that a 12 month old child could be so perceptive of what was around her, but she did have rather intelligent parents, Bella supposed.

After Bella had broken down, seeing what Molly had wanted the previous morning, it was Edward's turn. Or that's at least what she assumed. Molly had eventually gotten hungry and Edward had passed her to Bella, telling her he was going to go for a walk in the woods. He was out there for over an hour and when he came back, the rims of his eyes were red.

It was hard to live in a house where heartbreak was as apparent as day. They were both hurting more than words could express and found themselves at a loss of how to go on. Molly was a welcome distraction more often than not, but sometimes seeing Taylor's huge blue eyes on the little girl was too much to handle.

The days had been going on like a dance of sorts. One of them would start the day with Molly, but when she got too much, or seeing her look at Taylor with those eyes of hers and felt their heart break, they would pass her to the other. And the pattern repeated itself for hours on end.

She and Edward had also just begun the process of sorting through all the cards which had been sent and given. A lot were addressed to Edward, but Bella had a fair few of her own. Edward got overwhelmed when he saw the huge pile waiting for him, and Bella had offered to help him get through them all.

One of the cards had been from the tennis coach Kessler. It had been addressed to both Edward and Bella. It had read, "_I am so sorry about your loss. The world was much brighter with her in it. Kid, call me and we'll hit soon. Trust me it helps. Take care, Kessler_."

Bella had not played tennis in months and had seen her racket when she was moving things from her apartment to Edward's house. Her body was just itching to hit and hear the noise the racket strings made when they connected with the soft bouncing ball. She had called him in the morning and they had agreed to meet up in the afternoon.

"You look athletic," Edward commented, eyeing her spandex skirt and tight athletic tank top.

"I'm going on out to hit with Kessler. Are you going to be okay with Molly?" she asked, glancing at the little girl who was giggling up at Bella. Bella grinned at her goofily.

Edward had a faint smile on his face as he watched them. "Yeah, we'll be fine."

"Alright. Do you have anything you need to do today? I can be back whenever."

Edward shook his head. "Take your time. I think my parents are coming with dinner later."

She nodded. "That's nice of them. I'll be home in time."

Edward found himself almost feeling jealous of Bella. She was so strong and so sure. She was able to go on with life and do what she needed to do, and Edward wished that he was even half as capable of finding that strength in himself.

"My mom's worried about us," he informed her quietly. He turned another page as he saw Molly was getting anxious once again.

"I'm worried about you guys too."

He shook his head. "That's not what I meant. She's worried about you too, Bella."

Bella couldn't deny that she was touched. "Esme has just a mother complex. She has such a big heart."

He couldn't help but agree. His mother adopted so many people in their family, loving and worrying about them like any mother.

Bella almost shyly, continued. "You got the big heart from her, Edward."

Edward raised his eyebrows and turned to her in surprise. He was certain that his compassion was nowhere near his mother's level.

"Truly, you do. You have a big heart and it allows you to love so deeply and freely…which makes loss so much more painful for you. Because you put everything you've got into love."

Edward was silent, not knowing what words to say.

She put her hand gently on his shoulder as she stood up. "Taylor was very lucky to have you; she knew she was loved beyond reason. Molly does too."

"Thank you," he finally said.

"No, thank you." She moved her hand off his shoulder and ran her fingers through Molly's soft hair. "I'll see you guys later."

She slipped out through the front door, leaving Edward to his thoughts and Molly with pictures of her mom.

June had just arrived and the weather was admittedly beautiful. It was warm and sunny out, and as Bella stepped off the front porch, she couldn't help but have just a little lighter of shoulders.

She hopped into her shiny, red Ford-150 truck. The tennis courts were only about three miles away from Taylor and Edward's house, so the drive was relatively short. Kessler was already on the courts when she pulled into the parking spot next to him.

Her hands stayed on the wheel as she looked at the tennis courts in front of her. She had spent every summer and fall for six years practically living on them. They were unchanged whereas everything in her life was different. She took a deep breath, but when her hands refused to fall from the wheel, she took another.

Suddenly, Bella wasn't so sure she could do this.

It took her nearly five minutes to gather up the strength to get out of the truck and grab her tennis bag from the passenger seat_. You can do this_, she told herself as she slipped inside the fencing of the courts, _you're just hitting with your same old smart ass coach_.

"Hey Swan!" he called, grinning as she set down her bag. He said nothing about the fact that she had been sitting in the parking lot for five minutes.

"You know, I haven't hit for months," she warned him.

He rolled his eyes, "The publishing world that consuming, huh?"

She grinned, falling effortlessly back into the banter that she had enjoyed with him for years. "You have no idea."

Kessler opened a new canister of balls and tossed one to her as they went on opposite sides of the net. "You know what really would have impressed me?" he asked.

Bella swung her racket back and forth to stretch. She rolled her eyes. "If Gray Books would have bought the publishing rights of Harry Potter, yes, I know."

"It would have been great business!" he defended, "You know someone buys one of those books like every 30 seconds in the world?"

She grinned. "Next time I see a wizard manuscript, I'll snatch it up, I promise."

"See that you do!" She let out a laugh. "How rusty are you exactly?" he asked, as he bounced the tennis ball with his hand.

Bella grew somber. "I hit with Taylor last fall," she told him sadly.

Kessler frowned, the light demeanor vanished. His only response was to nod. He bounced the ball on the ground and then it hit it far lighter than Bella was used to.

They continued to return the ball back and forth across the net, each hitting gaining more speed than the next. Within minutes each of them were beginning to sweat at the pace they were going. Bella's body was rushing full of Endorphins and on high alert as she waited for his return. For the first time in the two weeks since the accident, she had no thoughts about it. Her mind was focused solely on the fall flying towards her and the position she needed to be in to return it. And it felt really damn good.

They went on for quite some time, equally matched as ever. They were both out of breath and panting after a while and Kessler finally hit a ball into the net, claiming he needed a water break.

He leaned on his side against the fence while Bella sat on the warm, hard ground, each of them voraciously consuming water.

Once their heart beats were down to reasonable levels, he spoke. "How are you doing, kid?" he asked with quiet seriousness.

Bella sighed and leaned her back on the fence. "I don't know," she answered honestly.

He glanced at her but then looked away and stared out onto the courts. "You're living with her little girl and husband?"

"For six months."

Kessler looked down at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Her idea," she explained.

He rolled his eyes. "That girl planned too much."

Bella cracked a small smile. "Right?"

He didn't respond. Instead he took another swing of his water and looked out at the courts before speaking once again.

"You know Bella, I know you want to take care of everyone, you always have. I'm sure you're doing a helluva job looking out for Molly and Edward… But every once in a while you're going to need someone to take care of you."

She had no response for him.

_Who_ was supposed to look out for her?

After a few minutes in silence, Kessler picked up his racket once again, looking at Bella questioningly. She stood up, grabbing hers as well. They went back to hitting, resuming almost immediately the pace they had set before.

This time, Bella was having more difficulty focusing all of her attention of the whizzing ball. She was distracted and hitting borderline shitty shots. Kessler continued to hit with vigor, forcing her to try and use her energy and mind better.

Bella couldn't help it. If she closed her eyes, it could have been Taylor she was hitting with.

But it wasn't. It never would be again.

Kessler hit a really difficult return, aiming it low and nearly out of her range. Bella lunged in the direction it, but missed the ball and fell onto the ground, her racket falling out of her hands.

Her eyes begin to water, and soon she was crying.

It was too much.

It had been a bad idea to do this so soon after the funeral. She wasn't ready to face the sport without Taylor by her side. She wasn't sure if she would ever be ready.

Vaguely she was aware of Kessler help her settle into a sitting position. He had an arm around her shoulder to support her droopy weight, and soon she found herself crying into him as he rubbed her back.

She wasn't sure how long she sobbed for; it could have been even close to an hour. She hadn't cried that hard or that long since she first saw Taylor in a coma. Since then she had managed to keep to together, even if just slightly.

Her thoughts were hardly even coherent to herself as she cried. She was overwhelmed with feelings of loss, despair and hopelessness.

It was so unfair.

Over the time she was crying, that thought continued to resurface.

It was so unfair that Molly would never know firsthand how amazing her mom was. It was so unfair that Edward had to bury his wife at the age of 27. It was so unfair that Taylor's parents had to live to see their daughter's funeral. And it was so fucking unfair that she had lost her best friend and a part of herself.

Eventually she heard herself quieting and knew that she ran out of not only energy, but tears as well.

"It just sucks, so fucking much," she whispered finally.

Kessler patted her shoulder gently. "I know it doesn't seem like she's in a better place. She had a husband who loved her a helluva lot and a daughter who will grow up without her."

Bella's breath caught in her throat, but Kessler continued, "But she's happy up there, I'm sure of it."

"Why did it have to be Taylor?" she asked quietly.

He shook his head. "I don't know, kid. I don't know."

Bella sighed, lifting her hands to wipe the tears and as a result, her whole face. "I just don't know how I'm supposed to go on now."

Kessler let his arm fall from her back so that he could use both of his arms behind him to prop himself up. "You do just that. You _go_ on."

"I know it's not easy. It's going to be the hardest thing you've ever done. But you just gotta take a deep breath, be strong and just go. Bella, don't spend your whole life holding on. You have to keep living. Just go."

He sat up once again and put his arm back around her shoulders. "You have to believe that this dark tunnel you're going through is going to end. You're going to heal eventually, and I believe you'll make it through Bella."

Bella leaned into him. "Just go?"

Kessler nodded.

"Take a breath, and just go."

* * *

_Yeah, I know it's not easy_  
_I know that it's hard_  
_Follow the lights to the city_

_Get up and go_  
_Take a chance and be strong_  
_Or you could spend your whole life holding on_  
_Don't look back; just go_  
_Take a breath, move along_  
_Or you could spend your whole life holding on_  
_You could spend your whole life holding on_

_Believe the tunnel can end_  
_Believe your body can mend_  
_Yeah, I know you can make it through_  
_'Cause I believe in you_  
_So let's go put up a fight_  
_Let's go make everything all right_  
Go, Boys Like Girls

* * *

**AN:** I think this chapter was important because we really got to see a Bella who isn't as collected as she has the world believing. Kessler is that no bullshit, straight up person that we all need once in awhile and I'm quite a fan!

I will be spending the day watching the Ryder Cup (go USA!) and the Vikings/Lions football game. If the Vikings pull off a win, I'm thinking you'll get an update earlier than next Sunday(:

Thanks for your incredible reviews!


	9. Words

Words.

They are essential to communication and life.

Words can express many things. They can express feelings anywhere from happy or sad, amused or mad. They can tell stories, new and old. They can bring people together or sometimes tear people apart.

Words are all around in life. They form thoughts which float around in your mind. They will appear all over if you drive downtown. Any conversation you have with someone uses words.

But sometimes, words were hard to find.

Some situations will just take your breath away and render you speechless. Sometimes pain and suffering, or joy and happiness if you're lucky, will overcome you and you will not find words.

He had been lucky in his life to have felt the joy and happiness which left you stunned into silence.

But now, all he felt was sorrow and emptiness which hurt too much to find words for.

~O~

They had both been very tired when it had happened.

Edward had just been at the firm for 36 hours straight, having had to pull an all-nighter with fellow associate Jasper, to get through the casework that had been assigned to them with a deadline.

She had had a toddler throw up on her, and then the day later, one pee on her.

The first evening, he had had to call her and cancel dinner with her parents. Strike one. When she went to visit him the next afternoon and bring him lunch, he ended up blowing her off and having only about two minutes of time for her before he had to get back to work. Strike two. In those two minutes, he also promised to pick up dinner on his way home.

When he showed up at home without dinner…strike three. Taylor was just downright pissed.

"What'd you pick up?" she called as she came down the stairs while he entered through the front door.

"Shit."

Taylor had stared at him feeling rejected, annoyed and hungry. She raised an eyebrow. "You forgot?"

"Baby, I'm sorry, I-"

She glared. "You forgot the one fucking thing in two days that you promised me you'd do?"

"Work just really-" he tried to explain.

"I know work is stressful. Who would have thought such a thing possible? Work is always stressful for you."

She turned and started walking in the kitchen, planning to fix something for herself and herself alone since her husband clearly couldn't be bothered.

"Wait," Edward defended, right on her heel, "What's that supposed to mean?"

She threw her hands in the air. "It means you're not the only one with a tough job! And you knew what you were getting into the day you decided even to major in pre-law."

Edward felt his own temper beginning to ignite. "I'm sorry," he snapped, "but I think being an attorney is more difficult than making sure four year olds say sorry when they hit one another!"

Taylor stared at him furiously with her hands on her hips. "Are you trying to be an asshole?"

He crossed his arms. "I'm just asking if you had to work 36 hours at your job any time recently?"

"Yes Edward, your job is so difficult. You have to type things and then even occasionally use a stapler! On particularly challenging days, you even have to use a three hole punch, huh?"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he demanded, refusing to answer her baiting.

"What's wrong with me?" she asked incredulously. "It can start with the dinner I ate alone with my parents last night who are convinced that you're just making excuse to get out of eating with in-laws."

"Look, Jasper and I to summarize all the files-"

She stopped him. "Yeah, of the Wilson cases. So you already said."

"And then what's the problem?" he asked, exasperated.

Taylor stared at him, shaking her head slowly. "Alright, whatever, Edward. What about lunch this afternoon? Did you enjoy the meal I made you? I mean, I sure as hell wouldn't know since I was out of that office in two fucking minutes."

Edward ran his hand through his hair, breathing deeply. "I thought I told you, it has been busy as hell at the firm. I'm sorry I didn't have time to discuss everything about our day."

She crossed her own arms as she cocked her hip. "That's bullshit. You know as well as I know that your last name has a lot of weight in that office, and you could have easily gotten at least ten minutes to talk to me."

He grew angry. "Because I know my name carries weight! Everyone knows it! How do you think it makes me look if I use that to my own advantage?"

"Like a decent husband!" she shouted back.

"You don't get it," he muttered, shaking his head.

"I'm sorry, Edward that you have to work at the firm your father built. It must be really difficult to have to prove yourself as just one of the guys. You realize no one forced you to work there?"

"You sure as hell enjoy the pay checks."

Taylor grew deadly silent. She took a deep breath slowly let it out.

"I cannot believe you just said that."

Edward, still incredibly angry, knew he shouldn't have said it, but wasn't willing to back down.

"So you are really just trying to be an asshole then."

Edward raised an eyebrow at her. "Is it that time-"

"Is it that time of the month?" she interrupted, her own eyebrows raised challengingly.

When he didn't respond, she snapped, "And if it is?"

"That would explain a whole lot of things," he muttered.

Her fingers clenched. "My period explains you being an absolute dick…how?"

"You just get moody when it's that time."

She shook her head. "I'm surprised you even know that since you work so fucking much that you're never actually around."

He stared at her for a full minute of silence before finally saying, "You know what Taylor? I don't even want to do this. I'm going to bed."

She gestured to the living room. "Well then the couch is ready for you, because you are not sharing my bed."

Biting back a retort, he walked out of the room and went upstairs to change, not looking back once.

Taylor let out a string of swear words to herself as she aggressively made a sandwich before going outside with her food and calling up Bella to vent about her incredibly infuriating ass of a husband.

"Taylor, I'm telling you this as a friend," Bella said after having heard the entire argument thanks to Taylor, "but sometimes when you're on your period you get irrational to the point where everyone around you wants to strangle you."

Taylor snorted. "As a friend?"

Bella laughed. "It's kind of unreasonable to be honest. And the poor man hasn't slept for almost 40 hours, cut him a break."

Taylor sighed, knowing she was right.

"You gotta apologize on this one."

"And say what exactly?" she asked.

Bella chuckled. "Sorry for being a bitch, but even more so, sorry that my period is preventing us from having hot make up sex."

Taylor laughed, feeling lighter after a talk with her friend.

"Alright, I'll say that verbatim."

"See that you do," Bella laughed, "I gotta get going!"

"Alright, talk to you later," Taylor said, "Thanks."

"Anytime."

Taylor went back into the kitchen and saw that Edward was still in the shower. She went about quickly around the kitchen and accomplished her task just in time. They passed each other on the stairs, saying nothing as they went to where they would sleep.

Edward settled onto the couch sourly, feeling bad about the argument and worse that he wouldn't be getting much lumbar support that evening. He was about to doze to sleep when his growling stomach got the better of him. With a sigh, he pushed himself off the couch and went to the kitchen in search of something to graze on.

What he found in the kitchen, confused him at first, but then made him smile.

A sandwich made expertly and containing all of his favorites sat in the middle of the counter on a plate with a written on post it note stuck in front of it. He read it.

_I'm sorry. _

~O~

Edward leaned against the stair railing, jingling his keys anxiously.

Bella was upstairs with Molly getting her changed, dressed and ready for the doctor's appointment they would be heading to. It was Molly's 12 month check-up, or rather, the rescheduled one. The first one had supposed to have been on the day of Taylor's wake the previous week.

Edward was feeling particularly edgy about the visit. He knew that Molly would have to get a couple shots at the appointment, and he was panicked. Like any baby, Molly hated shots with a passion. Edward was one of those parents who felt like the needle was piercing his skin right with his child's and would rather walk across hot coals than see his kid in physical pain.

He was glad to have Bella coming with because he wasn't sure he'd be able to calm Molly down on his own.

The day also marked the first time Edward had been in public since his wife's death, other than the funeral home and church. He was worried, because a part of him, no matter how irrational, felt that leaving their home and pausing his mourning for just a small amount of time was a betrayal to Taylor's memory.

The rational side of his brain knew it wasn't true. Taylor was not coming back. It didn't matter where he was or what he was doing…she wasn't going to return to him.

His anxious musings were put to a stop as Bella came down the stairs with Molly on her hip and the diaper bag on the other shoulder. Molly was smiling as Bella walked with a bounce in her step and was oblivious to the impending doom ahead of her.

"Ready to go?" Bella asked, adjusting Molly slightly.

He jingled the keys. "Yup." Bella walked down past him, probably missing the added mutter of, "Let's get this over with…"

They got Molly into her car seat in Edward's shiny black Volvo and then were on their way to the health clinic. Bella mused to herself that it was a very fortunate thing that Molly's appointment was at a clinic instead of the hospital. She wasn't sure Edward or she was ready for that.

Things had gone well over the weekend.

Well, as well as could be expected under the circumstances.

Bella had truly felt much better after the tears she shed and the talk she had with Kessler. Her shoulders felt just a little lighter since she had left the tennis courts.

Edward had not asked about Kessler but had silently picked up on Bella's calmer, more accepting stance on things. He had tentatively laughed and smiled while he played with Molly whose giggles were infectious.

Bella observed that Edward had made it through the weekend without her seeing him shed a tear, and she had done the same. _Take a breath, and go._ It had worked as a soothing mantra for her.

Unbeknownst to the other, Edward and Bella had each cried themselves to sleep with sorrowful silence.

"Edward?" Bella asked, breaking out of the silence that held the car captive.

"Hmm?" he hummed eyes on the road.

"Alice has been wondering if it would be alright for her to stop in one of these days this week."

"Of course she can," he told her, matter of factly.

Bella offered him a half smile. "Okay, just making sure."

Edward sighed slightly. "Bella, for the next six months, that home is yours as much as it is mine. Your family is allowed in without question."

Molly made a noise of discontent from the back seat. Bella leaned back and picked up a stuffed, rattle butterfly the child had unintentionally discarded. When she settled back into her seat, she looked over at Edward once more.

"Thanks."

He looked over at her and gave her a brief smile before returning his eyes to the road.

Molly's doctor, Dr. Black, was a kind man and Bella immediately liked him. He was relatively young and had warm brown eyes which she trusted.

The two of them had been sitting in the examining room, Molly on Bella's lap while Edward offered her Cheerios. They were the "Honey Nut" kind. of course, because his kid didn't care for the regular kind one bit.

Dr. Black slipped in through the door and greeted them. "Hey guys," he smiled.

Molly looked up at the new person and stared at him with her small eyebrows somewhat furrowed. She looked back at Bella, making the latter smile at how much she looked like Taylor with that face.

"Edward, I'm very sorry about Taylor," the doctor offered quietly, "She was a great person. I'm sorry I couldn't make it to the funeral; twins had to be delivered."

As he had with everyone, Edward nodded in acceptance.

Dr. Black looked over at Bella. If he was puzzled, he made sure not to show it. "I don't think we've met." He offered her his hand, "Jacob Black."

Bella took it and shook. "Bella Swan. I'm Molly's godmother," she offered.

Dr. Black nodded with an easy smile as recognition lit his eyes. "Oh yeah, you were in the delivery room with Taylor, weren't you?"

Bella nodded. "I was the left leg," she joked. A nurse had been holding Taylor's right leg.

The doctor let out a laugh as he pulled out a stool and gracefully sat down on it, pulling out Molly's chart while he did so. A nurse had weighed and measured a surprisingly patient Molly only minutes before the doctor had entered.

"Well," he said as he studied the chart, "It looks like Molly's height and weight are basically average. Her weight is a little on the small side, but it's nothing that I'm really concerned about."

He turned on his stool and reached to grab some instruments before wheeling closer over to Molly. "How is Molly eating?" he asked.

Edward answered while the doctor got Molly to open up her mouth by opening his own comically wide. "She's eating well and with her hands and able to hold her Sippy cup by herself as well."

Dr. Black smiled at Molly as he moved the light away from her throat and she closed her lips firmly. "Excellent. That's right about the age we look for that to be happening." He marked something down on the chart. "It looks like she has six teeth and more slowly on their way."

The doctor went on to test Molly's eyesight. "Her sight's looking pretty good. Have you noticed anything unusual at all?"

Edward looked over at Bella who shrugged. "No, she's pretty perceptive," he replied.

"Does she point at objects?" he asked. Edward offered her more dry cereal as the doctor wheeled around to check her ears.

"Yeah, she started that a couple months ago."

Dr. Black nodded. "That's great. Nonverbal communication is important."

Molly noticed that someone was prodding her ears and started to squirm irritably. The doctor chuckled and pulled away, having checked what he needed.

"Where are her motor skills at?"

Molly looked somewhat offended as her lips puckered and she stared at the doctor. Edward bit back a laugh at the look on his daughter's face. It was like she knew they were discussing her and she was outraged that they were questioning her ability.

"She can pull herself up on her own and stand usually. Otherwise she's quite a crawler."

The doctor smiled at the little girl. "Walking?"

"No," Edward replied, his tone less polite. Molly would walk when she was ready and he didn't think she was behind or delayed at all.

Dr. Black nodded. "The walking will probably start coming more and more, especially if she's pulling herself up and able to bear weight."

Molly crawled from Bella's lap over to Edward's without a sound. Edward grinned down at her as she rested her small head against his chest and looked blankly at the doctor. The doctor, who seemed amused by Molly's attempt at a stare down, began writing more on the chart.

"What words has she been saying?" he asked, not looking up from the papers.

When Edward didn't respond, Dr. Black looked up. "At this point in growth most kids are putting together jabber like words. You know, "dada" and "ma-" the doctor broke off with an embarrassed look, "…words like that," he finished.

Bella looked over at Edward, growing concerned at the doctor's words. Edward met her glance and silent words passed between them.

"She hasn't really started talking yet," he answered.

At the physician's skeptical glance, Bella added, "She makes sounds, but not really intelligible ones…"

Dr. Black nodded slowly. "Well, I don't think her lack of speaking has anything to do with her hearing. She responds to her name, correct?"

Both adults nodded.

"And other words, like diaper, food, sleep?"

They nodded again.

"If she's making sounds and showing an interest in other's conversations, I don't think it's going to be much of a problem." He wrote while he continued, "I suggest you both make an effort to try and include Molly in conversations and probe her to say words. If she doesn't begin to speak in next 8-10 weeks, I'd bring her back here."

They nodded, each looking down at Molly. She returned Bella's gaze, her lips quirking up, making them smile.

When Dr. Black began speaking about shots, Edward cringed. "It looks like Molly needs her third dose of the polio immunization…Varicella, which is the chicken pox immunization, and then it's recommended you start the hepatitis A, series which is two doses six months apart."

Ten minutes later found a very sad and slightly betrayed Molly, clinging to an equally distressed Edward.

The first shot had been bad. Molly's wail had been loud and sharp, but her cries had calmed eventually. The second shot was worse. This is when Molly cried in betrayal. This time it was hard to stop the tears and eventually the third poke came, sending Molly over the edge.

"It's okay baby, it's all done," Edward soothed, rubbing her back and kissing the crown of her head. The side of her face was pressed against Edward's shoulder and tears were slipping down her red cheeks.

"Hey, honey, here you go," Bella cooed as she offered her the Sippy cup full of apple juice which they had brought. Molly hastily took it into her small hands and stuck it into her mouth, drinking eagerly.

Dr. Black had cleaned up from the shots and stood up from the stool. "Everything is looking good. You've got a very special little girl there, Edward."

Edward nodded and held his free hand out to shake. The doctor took it and they had a brief hand shake before he was offering his hand to Bella. "It was nice to see you again, Mrs. Swan"

"Just Miss," Bella corrected with a smile as she shook his hand.

"Really? That's surprising…" the doctor muttered. "Have a good day, _Miss_ Swan, then," he said with a smile.

Edward was looking at her with a raised eyebrow as the doctor slipped out of the room and she turned back to face them.

"What?"

"_Mrs. Swan?"_

Bella rolled her eyes. "I could _so_ be married."

"Yes, but you are clearly not wearing wedding ring."

"Your point?" she sighed.

"He's a douche."

"If he wasn't the best, we both know you wouldn't let him anywhere near your kid."

Edward shook his head. "Well his flirting left something to be desired."

"Yeah," Bella agreed, "_him_."

Edward looked at her in shock, his brow raised nearly to his hairline.

Bella burst out laughing at the look on his face. When he saw that she wasn't serious, Edward grinned.

"If we're voting, I think Molly's a no on Dr. Black."

Bella looked at the little girl, who though was content now, was still pissed about the shots and the man who administered them.

"If we're voting, I think _I'm_ a no on Dr. Black," Bella laughed.

Edward smirked, disbelieving.

Bella rolled her eyes. "Okay, I was a yes until the Mrs. Swan thing. That was lame."

She picked up the diaper bag and slung it over her shoulder. Edward opened the door for her and allowed her out first, trailing with Molly.

Bella tickled Molly's chin, making her smile around the lip of the cup. "I think Miss Molly May deserves an ice cream cone. What do you think, Daddy?"

Edward grinned. "I was thinking the same thing."

They walked out of the clinic, feeling lighter at having the ordeal over, the promise of ice cream, and the mocking of a certain doctor.

"You know, the way he had his hair jelled was kind of stupid."

"I thought so too," he agreed.

"Douche."

"Right?"

* * *

_If you could only see me now, you'd realize_  
_I'm not the boy who made you cry_  
_You gave yourself, I didn't see it_  
_You died in me, I should have saved you_  
_Wish you were here with me_

_You gave yourself,I didn't see it_  
_You died in me,I should have saved you_  
_You gave yourself. Why did you give youself to me?_  
_You died in me. Why was i too blind to see?_  
_Wish you were here with me._  
Wish You Were Here, Enrique Iglasias

* * *

**AN:** I'm guessing you're all sitting there going "YES! Finally, a whole chapter without Edward or Bella crying! HYFR!" Well...I am too. Y'all also got to see that Taylor was human and everything that entails (gasp!)

We are quickly approaching the end of Part 1 (chapters 1-11) and the flashbacks will not be in Part 2. The next two chapters will be intense, so get ready!


	10. Cause and Effect

Cause and Effect.

It's the theory of chain events which makes the world continue.

For example, a cause would be little rain, the effect would be a poor harvest for farmers that year.

Another effect could be an A+ on a test, and the cause could have been studying all night to prepare for it.

When one puts many cause and effects together, they will have strung together a chain of events. Sometimes it's possible to trace an effect all the way back to the original cause. Sometimes it's impossible to not trace it back.

He was doing it now.

The events that had led up to where he was now in his life were being pieced together in his mind, and the more he did so, the more he found that he himself was truly at fault for what had happened.

It should have been him.

~O~

"Alright baby girl, do you want mashed peas or plums?" he held up the options in both hands and looked at Molly expectantly. Molly giggled at her father before holding her hands out for the peas.

Edward nodded. "Good choice, kid."

Molly waited with somewhat impatience in her high chair, legs bouncing out eagerly as Edward prepared her dinner.

"Taylor!" Edward called, projecting his voice in order to reach the upper level.

"Yeah?" she hollered back.

"Babe, are you going to eat anytime soon?"

"I'm almost done blowing up the balloons!" she replied loudly. She had shut herself in the laundry room and was blowing up many purple and light blue balloons for Molly's 1st birthday party the next day.

Edward shook his head at his wife's exuberance.

With the peas ready, he sat down in the chair next to Molly. Her leg bouncing grew even more excited as she watched her dad scoop the mushy green substance with the small spoon.

"Are you excited for tomorrow, baby girl?" he asked as he began to feed her. He liked to talk to her when she ate, because silence and food should never really go together.

"A lot of people are coming to see you," he told her; "Grandma and Grandpa are coming, and Nana and Papa. Uncle Emmett is coming, but I told him he couldn't get you a puppy for your birthday. Don't worry I'll be the one to get you one though."

"Who else?" he pondered as he fed her another bite. "Bella's coming to see you. She's very excited, but I had to tell her no to the puppy too."

Molly looked up at him, silently but quite clearly expressing that she was more interested in the food than the next day's guest list. Edward grinned, continuing to talk.

"Mama's brother, Uncle Jason is coming too. He didn't ask about the puppy though. Alice and Jasper are coming…I think he's going to ask her to marry him any day now, but that's just between the two of us, alright?" Molly looked up at him blankly, but upon seeing his serious face, she began to giggle.

He smiled. "I know you can keep a secret."

Edward wiped at the excess of peas on the side of her lips. "Lily's coming too. She's been asking what you want for weeks now. I wonder what…" he trailed off as his cell phone began to ring.

He looked at the caller ID and rolled his eyes. "Speaking of Bella…" he said to Molly who frankly didn't seem to care.

"Hey Edward," Bella said as soon as he answered.

"Taylor didn't answer her phone?"

"Nope. What's she doing?" she wondered.

Edward continued to feed Molly with one hand. "She's upstairs blowing up the balloons."

"Meticulously?"

"Of course."

Bella laughed. "And there are no pink ones?"

"Not a chance."

"I don't know how she can hate pink so much when it was my favorite color for years. You would have thought it would have rubbed off on her eventually…"

He chuckled. "And here I've always thought you knew why she had an aversion to pink."

"Nope, not a clue."

He rolled his eyes at his wife's best friend. "Do you want me to go get Taylor for you?"

"I was just wondering if you would still like me to pick up the cake on my way to the party tomorrow."

"I think so, I'll check."

He held the phone against his chest and hollered towards the stairs, "Do you still want Bella to pick up the cake?"

"Yeah!" she called back, "Tell her to make sure they spelt Molly's name right!"

"How many different ways are there to spell "Molly?'" he yelled incredulously.

Her response was: "Some idiots put an "ie" instead of a "y" at the end!"

Sighing, he held the phone back up to his ear. "Yes, it would be great if you could, and make sure that Molly's name is spelt right."

Bella was baffled. "How else do you spell it…?"

He was glad someone shared the same thought process. "An "ie" at the end, I guess. Taylor seems to think that doing so calls the parents intelligence into play."

"Called them idiots?"

"Yep."

"Kinda harsh."

"I thought so too."

"Well give Molly a big birthday kiss for me, will you?"

"Because you won't give her a good deal of them tomorrow?" he teased. Molly whined and reached for the spoon that Edward had paused in offering.

"You can never have too many kisses, Edward! I'll see you guys tomorrow!"

Laughing, he said goodbye.

Taylor came down a few minutes later, looking far too satisfied with herself and a little light headed.

"How are you two doing?" she asked, cooing at Molly animatedly.

Edward grinned. "Good. Can you hand me a Kleenex, though? Her nose has been kind of runny today."

Taylor walked over and grabbed a tissue. "I noticed that this morning. She was coughing a little bit earlier too."

Edward wiped Molly's nose, making her face scrunch up in annoyance. "Do you think she's coming down with something?"

Frowning in concern, Taylor reached over and placed her hand on Molly's forehead. "She's a little warm. I think she has a bit of temp."

"It could be just allergies," Edward suggested.

Taylor was skeptical. "Do babies even get allergies?"

"Doesn't everybody get allergies?" he asked, confused.

Molly began to cough, taking her parents away from their debate. She coughed harshly, and Edward didn't like the sound of it.

He picked her up from the high care after wiping her face. He felt her head and conceded that it was warmer than it should be. "We should give her some Children's Benadryl so that it doesn't get worse before tomorrow."

Taylor nodded. "Good idea. I'll grab it."

Edward kissed the side of Molly's head. "It should be in the cabinet behind the mirror."

Taylor went up to the bathroom and checked behind the mirror but saw they were out. She came back down the stairs empty handed.

"It's gone?" he asked when he saw her.

"Yeah, I guess so," she shrugged. She looked at her daughter. Molly, having just been fed was looking quite droopy and not very good.

"I'll go run to the store and grab some," he volunteered, ready to hand her off to her mother.

Taylor shook her head. "You're already in your pajama bottoms. I'll go get it. You stay and give our little patient the big cuddles that she needs."

"You sure?" he checked.

Taylor was already slipping on her shoes. "Yup. I'll be back in like 10 minutes."

She grabbed her keys off the key rack and then stopped where Edward stood with Molly.

"It'll be okay, peanut," she promised as she kissed her girl's soft, warm forehead, before she left, "Daddy's going to take care of you."

"Love you!" she called to him as she slipped through the front door. When she saw the questioning look from her child who was resting in his arms she added with a grin, "And I love you, pumpkin!"

Edward settled in onto the couch with Molly, making sure she was cocooned in many soft blankets. They turned her favorite show, Blue's Clues, and Edward hugged her against him as they watched Blue and Joe solve the clues.

They had watched three episodes and Edward was growing more and more concerned about where Taylor was. The store was only five minutes away from their house and Taylor should have been back an at least a half hour ago.

He had tried her cell phone once but she didn't answer. He figured she was either driving or had run into an old friend. Since she had grown up in this town, it wasn't an uncommon occurrence.

Edward was downright anxious after the 4th episode had passed. Molly had dozed off to sleep shortly before they had solved the three clues.

A knock rang through the house.

He settled Molly against some pillows to go with the blankets and slid out from beside her so he wouldn't awake her. He crossed over to the front door and cautiously pulled it open. What he saw made his heart stop.  
Two police officers.

"Mr. Cullen?" one of them asked.

Swallowing, Edward answered, "Yes."

"I'm Officer Carlton. Mr. Cullen, your wife has been in an accident. Her car collided with a semi-truck on the 21st street, Clearwater Road intersection."

Edward hand fell against the doorframe and gripped it tightly.

"Is she alright?" he asked, hardly fighting to keep the desperation out of his voice.

The officer exchanged a quick and silent glance with his partner before looking back at Edward.

"She's been rushed into the ER…it's best that you go right away."

~O~

He was living.

At times his existence felt like nothing more than an empty shell, not a thing like it used to be. Sometimes he felt weak with despair and felt that he could crumble from the weight of the loss and the emptiness it brought.

He knew exactly how many days since he had last seen Taylor and also how many days since he had last spoke to her and seen her eyes. 13 and 17.

But he was living.

And other times he felt lighter, like somehow he was getting the strength to carry on. Somewhere someone up above was giving him just what he needed to remember that it's always dark at night, but eventually dawn will come.

Molly was a big part of the lighter times in his life.

She kept him and Bella busy with the innocence that only a 12 month old child could. She was changing and growing everyday, becoming a little person and developing her personality more and more. It made his heart ache that Taylor wasn't next to him to watch it.

Yet, he was going on.

And he was surrounding by people who cared about him and loved him fiercely. He didn't always have the words to thank them, but he knew he wouldn't be getting by without them.

And that included Emmett.

"Bro, did Dad tell you he has the suite tomorrow?" Emmett asked, kicking his feet onto the coffee table as he got comfortable in the arm chair.

Edward raised his eyebrows. "Which suite, exactly?"

Emmett, though somewhat hesitant about coaxing his brother into public, kept going. "The Watson Cullen one at Target Field. Twins play the Orioles, should be a good one."

When Edward did not respond, simply because he was mentally checking his schedule, Emmett took it the wrong way.

"Look, bro, I'd be remiss as an uncle if I didn't start Molly's inevitable love of baseball at a young age."

Edward grinned. "Remiss as an uncle?"

"And godfather," he added.

Edward rolled his eyes.

Being the Managing Partner of an exceedingly prestigious law firm had its perks. Carlisle often got many opportunities for different events and occasions. Sporting events were just one of the many perks.

Emmett went on to sell it, "Bella's totally welcome to come too. I already talked to Jasper and Alice, and they're in."

"Jasper and Alice?" Edward asked.

Emmett rolled his eyes. "That boy needs to propose soon. I'm trying to encourage a stadium proposal, not that I think it's going to happen. It's worth a shot though."

"How romantic of you, trying to coordinate a proposal," Edward cooed sarcastically.

Emmett shrugged. "Say whatever you want bro, but if more men were like us, there would be less single idiots running amuck."

"What exactly does "like us" mean?"

"We propose quickly," Emmett said a little too hastily. Edward noticed that his brother was eyeing him warily, probably figuring he said something he shouldn't have.

"Emmett, stop looking at me like that," Edward sighed. "Taylor's name is not tabooed. It's her house as much as mine and I'd rather not tip toe around her in it."

"You're right," he agreed easily.

Edward didn't want to make his well-meaning brother uncomfortable, so he continued. "And the fact that I proposed within two months, and you in four probably doesn't mean that everyone should."

"But look at Jasper and Alice!" Emmett protested, "Those two are perfect for each other. And they know it too, damn them. Hell, he should have proposed within two weeks!"

"Emmett, you're preaching to the congregation here."

The elder Cullen brother sighed. "That's only because Jasper told me to shut the hell up."

"That's all it takes? Shut the hell up and you'll whine to someone else?" Edward asked incredulously.

He shrugged again. "Excluding family, naturally."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Naturally."

"Where are Bella and Molly anyway?" Emmett wondered.

"Grocery shopping," he answered. "Bella likes to do it, and since Molly is kinda attached to Bella right now, she went with."

"Attached?" Emmett asked curiously.

"Molly has always adored Bella, and vice versa…and I think that she's not used to it being all Daddy 24/7, so she's clinging to Bella a bit."

Emmett nodded. "That makes sense I guess."

Edward heard the sounds of the tires on Bella's truck crunching gravel as she pulled into the driveway. "That should be them."

Excited at seeing Molly, Emmett shot out of his chair and rushed over and pulled open the front door. Bella was getting out of the driver's seat and opening up the back door of the cab by the time Edward caught up with his exuberant brother.

Once Molly was on Bella's hip, Emmett raced out of the house. Molly lit up brightly when she saw her uncle and starting bouncing excitedly against Bella who was laughing at the two.

"Hey buddy!" Emmett exclaimed as Bella offered her over to him. Molly giggled loudly as Emmett tossed her gently in the air.

"Who do you think is more excited here?" Edward asked, standing next to Bella and watching the two. They both smiled as Emmett spun her around in a circle.

"Emmett," they both answered in unison.

"We should get the groceries inside before they get too hot," Bella said. Edward nodded and they each started grabbing the bags full of food from the truck.

"How's Rosalie?" Bella asked as they unloaded the food in the fridge and pantry.

Emmett grinned. "She's great. A little stressed about the wedding, but set on enjoying her summer."

Bella smiled. Edward figured she had good reason, being the one who had introduced the dynamic couple two years ago.

"I'm so happy for you two! August 25th, right?"

Emmett grinned mischievously. "Unless you change your mind, Bella, and give our love a fair shot."

Bella rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "I'll think about it."

Emmett began tickling Molly, and laughed. "See that you do!"

Eventually Emmett left, needing to get some work done at home. Edward felt bad that Emmett's case load was larger due to his leave of absence, but Emmett could care less. Edward knew that he would probably start to consider when to return to work soon, though.

"Do you want me to take Molly to Mary and Nick's house?" Bella asked later in the day.

Taylor's parents, Mary and Nick were having a hard time. Their daughter's death and shook them and the foundation their lives had been built on. Edward knew that without Molly, he would be doing worse than they were.

He only knew this from Bella, though. It was just too painful for him to talk to them yet, and hadn't done so since the funeral.

"I feel like I'm taking advantage you, Bella," he told her.

Bella shook her head. "If I didn't want to, I wouldn't have offered, I promise."

Edward smirked. He knew it was probably true, since Bella was a particularly independent and spunky woman.

"You wouldn't mind?" he checked.

Bella shook her head again, this time with a smile. "Not at all."

"Then yes, it would be great if you could."

So an hour later after Molly was fed dinner and had a clean diaper on, Bella and her were off again, this time to Taylor's parent's house. They only lived about 10 minutes away, so Edward figured Bella would be back in a little bit.

He grabbed the mouthwash, toothpaste and deodorant that Bella had bought for him and left on the counter and took it upstairs along with a bottle of wine and a glass. He had not indulged in alcohol since Taylor had died something that he found he was almost proud of. But he needed something to take the edge off.

Edward flicked on the light switch of the bathroom, figuring he could just put the toiletries away before retiring to his bedroom. He set the bottle and glass on the counter by the sink and went to putting the stuff away. When he saw that he still had some mouthwash left, he opened up the cabinet under the sink to set it in there until he needed it.

He was about to shut the door and leave when something caught his eye.

Edward crouched down to get a better look. He moved a few items around and reached for the bright pink bottle. When he picked it up, his heart stopped.

"No."

The word was said aloud, trying to make it real.

He read the bottle.

"NO."

Children's Benadryl.

"NO!" he roared.

What happened next was a blur. Words could not be formed to describe what the pure anger and sorrow led him to do. All he could recognize through the haze was the all consuming power of regret.

He didn't know what all he broke. He couldn't recall what he punched and picked. He couldn't feel the agony in his soft joints which came from hitting surfaces so much harder than he should have.

He didn't see the crack in the mirror that came from his fist.

All he knew was that the pain that was coursing through him was deeper and darker than anything he had ever felt before, including the past few weeks.

Regret pulsed through his every fiber of being.

And hate.

He hated himself more than anything.

Bella found him with his back against the bath tub, head buried in his hands and sobs racking through his body, making the most pained, animalistic noises that she had ever heard in her life.

"Edward!" she exclaimed. She threw her purse on the ground and rushed down to his side.

"It's all my fault," Edward choked out through his sobs. His breath caught in his throat as he tried to form words.

Bella put her hand on his shoulder. She had never seen him like this…so raw and out of control.

"What is?" she asked gently.

"Everything," he told her, the word mangled.

Bella's heart broke nearly as much as it did when she lost her best friend.

"Edward, nothing's your fault," she soothed, rubbing his back gently.

"She went out-" he broke off and sobbed, "We had it. It's my fault."

Bella was confused, and frightened at the hysterical man in front of her. She looked around the bathroom for what he could possibly he talking about. The bathroom was a mess. She noticed for some reason they were surrounded by glass shards. Then she saw half of a wine glass and knew it had been shattered.

Finally her gaze landed on a pink bottle, and when she read the label, her eyes watered and she began to cry.

She wrapped her arms around Edward's shoulders and held him to her tighter than she had ever held anyone. "Oh, Edward," she whispered.

Edward was unaware of the arms hugging him for the longest time. He felt nothing but tears from the pain. He didn't hear the soft cries of a woman whose heart was just as destroyed as his was.

"It should have been me!" Edward sobbed. The cries were harsh and he felt physical pain on his strained chest from the wrenching cries.

"Edward," Bella said, her voice cracking, "Don't say that."

"Why?" he asked, gasping for breath, _"You'd-_" he tried to inhale again, "_you'd have your friend-_" he gasped, "_and Molly would-_" he took another mangled short breath, "_-would have a mother._"

Bella said nothing. She only continued to run her hands through his hair in a way that her mom had always done for her.

Edward's arms eventually came around Bella and he hugged her back, gripping her as if she was the only thing holding him to life.

When he tried speaking again, his words were mangled with gasps once again. "I-I told her- that- that we were- out. So, she- she went."

Bella closed her eyes and leaned her face into his hair. This man clutching her was going through a hell that no should have to experience. His heart had been ripped out of his chest, and just when he was beginning to learn how to put himself back together, he's destroyed again with self-hatred that she knew few could comprehend.

"Edward, I'm so sorry."

"I-I killed her!" he rasped out, the words strangled and pained.

"No," she replied with forced steadiness, "It's not your fault."

He shook his head against her.

In a quiet voice, after a string of gasps for air, he whispered shakily, "I miss her so-so fuc-fucking much."

"I know," she replied quietly, resting her head on his, "I do too."

Bella was not sure how long they stayed there holding each other. She didn't know how much time it had taken before Edward had finally drained his body of the strength to cry. She couldn't guess the seemingly immeasurable amount time it had taken until the only movement that mixed with their heavy breathing was that of her hand stroking his hair. It seemed like a year before he let his face rest against her shoulder, eyes squeezed shut.

But above all, she wasn't sure how much heart break a person could take before it was beyond healing.

She worried that Edward was close.

* * *

_Help, I have done it again _  
_I have been here many times before _  
_Hurt myself again today_  
_And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame _

_Be my friend _  
_Hold me, wrap me up _  
_Unfold me _  
_I am small _  
_I'm needy _  
_Warm me up _  
_And breathe me _

_Ouch I have lost myself again _  
_Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found, _  
_Yeah I think that I might break _  
_I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe  
_Breathe Me, Sia

* * *

**AN: **Kind of a heavy chapter with a little mix of Emmett in there. Over the past month which includes his wife going into a coma, dying and everything that occurred after, this is where he has truly lost it the most; as you can tell from the chapter song being the saddest/greatest piece of music known to man.

Up next: last flashback, Bella and Edward talk about what happened and try to figure out life.

Thank you so much for your reviews! I so love them(:


	11. Friends

Friends.

In life you have two different families: the one you were born with and the one you choose. The latter of the two are your friends, the people you bring into your life and accept them as if they were blood.

A person can handle an awful lot in life, but it's nearly impossible to get through without someone willing to take your hand when it got to be too much.

He had many friends, had started gathering them when he was just a few years old really.

It isn't the amount of friends, however, that matters. What is important is the support and care you get from the ones you do have.

He was lucky enough to have had good friends throughout his life, and even luckier when he met his greatest friend in the form of his wife. She had been loyal, loving, kind and wonderful, all the best qualities in friend.

Without her, he felt lost. He felt alone.

But he knew that through losing his wife, he had a gained a true friend.

Someone he knew would always be there for him.

~O~

Edward gently aroused his daughter from where she slumbered on the couch, grabbed his keys and cell phone, and headed out to get in his car. The police had said that Taylor had been taken to Mercy Hospital, nearly 10 minutes away, and he would know more when he got there.

He drove the whole way to the hospital with his heart pounding harshly and rapidly in his chest. At a stop light, he got his phone out and shakily dialed Bella's number.

"Yes Edward," Bella answered after one ring, "I know, Molly with a 'y.'"

He took a slow, yet shallow breath.

"Taylor was in an accident," he told her.

The teasing in her voice vanished in an instant.

"What?"

Edward let it all out in a rush. "She had gone to get Molly medicine an hour ago, and she didn't come home. The police just came to my house, and I got Molly and we're going right now. They said she was in the ER, and I don't know if they'll let me see her. Oh God."

"Mercy?" she asked.

Edward nodded.

Then he shook his head. "Yes, she's there."

"I'll be there in five."

"Thank you," he breathed. He may have been a lawyer, but he knew when it came down to it, Bella would be the one to give the hospital personnel an ass whooping and get the information he would need.

"Edward?" she said.

"Yeah?"

"I know you're upset, but drive carefully. You have Molly with you."

It was like she had known that he had been going over 60 in the 45 mph zone. He took a breath and nodded.

"Okay."

"See you soon."

Edward still pushed the speed limit for the remaining few miles, but was much more conscious of his daughter in the back seat who was dozing back to sleep. When he saw the hospital in front of him, he was caught between relief and terror. He was relieved that he had arrived, but he was terrified at what he had arrived to.

As he was rushing to get Molly out of her car seat, a shiny red truck pulled in on the other side of him. Bella hopped out of the car, grabbing her purse. Edward saw that she was on the phone.

"I know," she was saying, "But you should get here as soon as you can."

She strode over to Edward and waited while he got Molly settled against him. Without a word they began walking hurriedly towards the entrance, Bella still on the phone.

"We don't know her condition yet," she said. She paused and listened. "I'm here with Edward…just come please."

Bella hung up the phone and nodded at him. She looked shaken up and unsteady, yet was striding with fierce intent.

"I called her parents. They're on their way," she informed him quietly.

Edward nodded. He tightened his hold slightly on Molly as they passed through the automatic doors.

They were in an area of the hospital which was surprisingly empty. There was a gift shop over to the side, and a reception desk opposite of it, where an elderly woman was drinking out of bottled water.

Edward was anxious about the lack of activity. His life had just been turned upside down and he was scared and unsure…and this environment seemed indifferent in a way which upset him.

With Bella trailing behind him, he crossed the lobby space over to the reception desk. The woman looked up and gave them a polite smile. "How may I help you?"

Edward opened his mouth, and then for the first time in a long time, he couldn't find words.

Bella cleared her throat and the woman looked at her. "We're looking for information on a patient who should be or has been in the ER this evening."

"Name?"

"Taylor Cullen."

The woman clicked some things on her computer at a very leisurely pace. It took everything in Edward not to jump over the desk, shove her out of the way and do it himself. The only thing holding him back was the fact that Molly would get in the way.

"Ms. Cullen was admitted at 7:13 this evening," she told them.

"Yes," Bella said impatiently, "How is she?"

The receptionist gave them a somewhat haughty look. "As I am not a physician or nurse, I do not know. However, the waiting room for the Emergency Trauma Center is down that hallway where you will take two lefts followed by an immediate right."

Without taking time to thank them, the two were rushing down the hallway, him clutching Molly against his chest.

When they arrived in the ER lobby, Edward was oddly more comfortable than in the previous one. There were about a dozen people scattered around the area, most looking worried and anxious. Bella went over to the receptionist who was decidedly more friendly than the other and asked about Taylor.

"Are you family?" the receptionist asked her.

"No," Bella said as Edward stepped forward and answered, "I am."

"Mr. Cullen, I will have a doctor come out and speak with you as soon as possible."

Before Edward could pester the woman for more information that she did not know, Bella placed a hand on his arm and gave him a nudge in the direction of the chairs. "Thank you," she said.

The two of them sat down on an uncomfortable couch. Bella sank back against the cushions while Edward sat ramrod straight.

"I'll take her," Bella offered, holding her hands out for the little girl.

Edward carefully passed Molly into Bella's arms where she settled without waking. Once Molly was not touching him, Edward stood back up and started pacing, the reason Bella had volunteered.

Bella held Molly against her chest with one arm. She let her other elbow fall onto the armrest of the couch, her head falling against her hand.

She did the only thing she could think of.

She prayed.

Bella begged and pleaded with God while Edward paced, allowing his fear to swallow him whole.

The doors that led into the rooms swung open and every head in the lobby turned to see a man wearing blue scrubs come out. The doctor scanned the lobby until his gaze landed on Edward and Bella. He walked over to them, Bella standing up immediately.

"Mr. Cullen?" he asked.

Edward nodded.

"I'm Dr. Clark, I'm the attending physician this evening," he introduced.

They each held their breath.

"Taylor was brought in unconscious with severe trauma to the head, and several broken joints on the left side of her body including her arm and wrist, along with four ribs. She is just finishing surgery right now; Dr. Yang is the head surgeon with her."

Seeing the look on Dr. Clark's face, Bella braced herself for more.

"She is stabilized, but she has slipped into a coma."

Bella closed her eyes.

_Not Taylor_.

Edward locked his knees to prevent them from crumbling. Both of his hands ran through his hair before resting on the back of his head.

"Is she going to wake up?" Bella asked tentatively.

The doctor could not hide his troubled look. "Well, we are going to run tests, but the damage is not completely irreversible. With comatose patients, however, it is hard to predict when she will wake, whether it be days or weeks, or guarantee if she will. We will know more soon."

Neither reacted.

"Do you have any questions?" he asked with an air of sadness.

Bella shook her head slowly. Edward though asked, "When can I see her?"

"She will be out of surgery in just a little bit, and we'll get her set up in a room where you can visit her."

Dr. Clark recognized that the two people in front of him were quite clearly in shock. Working in the ER was tough work, and it took a toll on a person, seeing shock, heartbreak and pain on people's faces day in and day out.

"I'm very sorry," he told them sincerely, "Try not to lose hope just yet."

He nodded at them both before turning to walk back through the door that led to the patient's. Bella watched him go with a numb, disinterested stare.

Despite the doctor's advice, and despite what she wanted to believe, Bella couldn't find it anywhere in her.

She had never felt more hopeless.

~O~

"Come on, bud."

Bella patted his shoulder gently as she took his hand into hers.

They had been sitting on the bathroom floor for nearly two hours. The Children's Benadryl was still discarded on the floor, taunting them. They were surrounded by glass shards and she didn't want either of them to get cut. Also, Edward, she could tell, was bone tired. He had his head rested on her shoulder, her arm around his back as they sat in silence in the aftermath of what had happened.

Bella turned slowly, giving him time to lift his head from her shoulder where she wasn't entirely sure he had known he placed it. He looked up at her with utmost wariness, and for a moment, she was startled.

Edward's eyes were so green.

With Alice being her sister and also having inherited green eyes, she knew that the brightness was a reaction to crying. By crying, the rims of your eyes grew red. Red was an opposite color on the color wheel than green. When the two were next to each other, green really popped and became a vibrant color.

They were so incredibly vivid.

The shocking eyes seemed to be silently asking her a question.

"I think it's time that you get some sleep," she told him quietly, biting her lip.

He shook his head, staring down at the broken wine glass on the floor. "I don't really sleep much these days," he admitted, just as quietly.

Bella understood better than almost anyone.

"I'll stay with you," she volunteered, squeezing his hand.

Edward watched her warily and tiredly as she stood up. He looked so broken.

For a long time in Bella's life, she never really understood the phrase of describing a person as broken. Surely, everything was fixable? It was in human nature to adapt and adjust quickly. But she was beginning to realize that some people truly did break, and the shell that remained was frightening.

She waited patiently, giving him support as he slowly stood up, his knees almost giving out from having been curled up so long.

They walked slowly down the hall to his bedroom. Both of them were feeling weak, one struggling to hide it, and one too tired to begin to try.

Wordlessly, Edward picked up his discarded pajamas from the floor and slipped into the adjoining bathroom. Bella went to work making the bed and then turning it down. It may have seemed silly to make a bed minutes before it would be used and messed up once again, but she had always found that a made bed was easier to sleep in than one still messy from the previous night's tossing and turning.

When Edward came back out of the bathroom, still looking worryingly vacant, Bella was sitting in the bed. She was rested against the pillows at the far edge of the bed. He lifted his eyes up to her questioningly. Bella offered him a half, sad smile and patted her lap.

Edward climbed onto the bed, the movements draining what little energy he had left in his body. He was able to position himself so that he was mostly lying on the pillows with his legs curled up towards him. He let his head fall softly onto Bella's legging clad lap with an air of sorrowful exhaustion.

When her fingers began to run through his hair with soft tenderness, his eyes fluttered closed and he let out a quiet sigh.

"Do you want to talk?" She asked gently.

"How do you do it?" he whispered.

The fingers continued. "What?"

"Be so strong," he replied, his eyes still closed.

He heard a soft sigh from her, and was somewhat conscious of the pause it took her to answer.

"I didn't know I was," she finally confessed.

"You are," he affirmed with a quiet but absolute conviction.

It was silent again. He wasn't sure if she did not want to talk anymore or if he had simply just fallen asleep.

"I guess," she finally whispered, "You don't know how strong you are until it's your only choice."

"It's not your only choice. You could be me."

The fingers running through his hair stopped momentarily.

"Edward, you don't believe that, do you?" He was surprised to hear something akin to fear in her voice.

Mustering the little strength he had left, he lifted his heavy eyelids and rolled slightly onto his back so he could look up at her. Her cheeks were pink from warmth, her hair was messy from their time in the bathroom, and her warm brown eyes were wide and filled with deep sadness.

"Look at me, Bella," he said, in answer to her question.

"What do you want me to see?" she asked gingerly.

He briefly closed his eyes, but then opened them and met her gaze. "A weak, helpless man who is so far gone that he can't even remember the person he was before or the father he used to be."

When she said nothing, and he saw pity in her eyes, he turned back onto his side and closed his eyes. Eventually, the fingers began making their way through his thick, soft hair once again.

"Do you want to know what I see when I look at you?"

Being Bella, she took his lack of response as an affirmative.

"I see a brave man."

Edward couldn't contain his snort.

"No, just listen," she implored. She waited until he turned back to meet her gaze again to continue.

"I see a brave man who is stronger than he will ever know. I see a man who is hurt so very much, but he's fighting not to let that hurt consume him and define him. I see a man who is a fighter."

Her eyes began to water.

"You know what else I see, Edward? I see a man who is an amazing father, and would do anything in the world for his little girl. I see the man Taylor fell in love with, and I see a man who isn't done with life yet. I see a man who will fight for his life, and I see a man who will win."

Edward closed his eyes and turned his head again, backing into her lap. He tried to hide the tears that slowly streamed down his face, one at a time.

She felt the wetness seep through the thin, stretched fabric of her leggings and let a heavy breath out. She continued to run her hands through his hair soothingly.

"Edward, I know how in love you were, far too in love to let it go, now or ever. But you gotta keep trying, because life will get better. I don't know how fast it will happen, or how hard it will be, but it's going to get better. And you and I are just going to have to fight for it."

He did not say a word as he cried. He was as silent as if he had fallen asleep. The only give away that he wasn't asleep was the ragged breathing that he was trying to control.

Bella sat quietly, reflecting on how much she missed her best friend that moment.

While Taylor had never been the best with children to start her life, Bella had never really been the best with people and emotions. Taylor was always ready with a hug that was so genuine that you just knew everything would be okay. Bella had been the one to pick up on other's emotions, but was never sure how best to go about being compassionate or reassuring.

God, she missed her.

Bella hadn't forgotten the reason that found her sitting, comforting a broken man. She had seen the bottle of medicine and understood all of the implications behind it.

But when she had understood, sitting in the bathroom with man pained beyond words, she had faced a choice.

She could have hated Edward, for unknowingly telling his wife to look in the wrong place and forgetting that they owned the medicine, thus sending her on the car ride which killed her…or she could show compassion and understanding.

It wasn't really a choice at all.

Because Bella knew in that moment, she could have destroyed Edward finally beyond repair.

She could have hated him, and just one person blaming him other than himself, would have been his final breaking point. She worried that Edward would finally have lost the last control he had left, and reacted rashly, maybe harming himself.

The fact that she knew he could be capable of doing such a thing had her choice been different terrified her and made her heart clench.

She couldn't lose him. Molly needed him so very much. His family needed him. The world needed. And she needed him.

She truly needed him.

So, she had forgiven him. Not that there was much to forgive. It had been a mistake, an honest mistake that should have been completely harmless. He had not been driving the truck with smashed into Taylor's car.

It wasn't his fault.

Edward was thinking along the same lines, with the exception of the conclusion she had come to. It was his fault.

"Why don't you hate me?" he whispered.

Bella shook her head and sighed. "Edward, don't. It wasn't your fault. You made a mistake which I'm sure millions of people have."

He sniffed and wiped at his eyes. "But they didn't get their wives killed."

"Neither did you."

His silence quite clearly said that he begged to differ.

"You gotta fight," she reminded him quietly, "You gotta fight against it, Edward. You're so strong…I promise. So strong. And I believe in you."

Edward closed his eyes and for the first time, tried to believe what she was saying. He tried to believe that it was true, and he tried to believe that things would get better.

In the quiet, he felt her fingers stroking his hair and her body softly rise and fall as she breathed in an out, a soothing rhythm.

Soon he was asleep, and would be for the next 14 hours, getting the best night of sleep he had had in weeks.

Bella, however, was awake. Her hands went through his hair long after she knew he had fallen asleep.

"I'm going to fix you Edward."

The words were a whisper, and he would never know she had said them.

"And maybe fix myself too."

~O~

**End of Part I**

* * *

_When you try your best, but you don't succeed_  
_When you get what you want, but not what you need_  
_When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep_  
_Stuck in reverse_

_And the tears come streaming down your face_  
_When you lose something you can't replace_  
_When you love someone, but it goes to waste_  
_Could it be worse?_

_And high up above or down below_  
_When you're too in love to let it go_  
_But if you never try you'll never know_  
_Just what you're worth_

_Lights will guide you home_  
_And ignite your bones_  
_And I will try to fix you_  
Fix You, Coldplay

* * *

**AN**: I just love this chapter for some reason. It was the last flashback and it's finally caught up to where the story started and Edward and Bella finally had a much needed, deep talk, which I really enjoyed writing. And this is literally my favorite song ever.

Part II will be starting next week with Chapter 12! It's gonna be lighter so I think I can lift the tissue warning now...

Thank you for your reviews(: I figured out that I get less of them than with SSM because of my lack of cliff hangers which you used to drive some of you crazy...so you're welcome!


	12. Summertime

**~O~**

**Part II**

* * *

Summertime.

When you're a kid, nine months of out of the year are spent longing for the short three months where you have not a care in the world about anything other than your tan and the amount of lemonade in the fridge.

Summer in the northern parted of the United States is even more special. Blizzards sweep across the land in the winter, chilling the land for nearly half the year. But when June comes alone, the temperatures rise to astonishing heights, and everyone scrambles to find a lake to jump in.

Like many others, he loved summer. Even after he finished school and had to work summers, no longer having the luxury of lounging day in and day out, he loved it.

He had been looking forward to this summer more than others in the past. He had a little girl who was just starting to walk, and he couldn't wait to watch her fall in love with the season.

He had planned to watch her with his wife by his side, knowing they would have shared the same admiration and adoration of the little girl with big blues eyes.

But things change.

He would not be next to her this summer.

Or any others.

~O~

Edward awoke the next morning, laying at an odd, perpendicular angle in his bed. His positioning wasn't the first thing he noticed though. When he woke up, he was shocked at how incredibly rested he felt. He glanced over at the alarm clock, craning his neck oddly to read the time.

9:28.

He had slept for literally the past 14 hours straight, something that confused the hell out of him. For only a moment, he wondered why he had slept so well.

The events of the previous evening came crashing down on him almost instantly. He locked his fingers together and dropped them over his eyes, a gesture which almost summarized the many emotions he felt.

Sadness, weakness, anger, regret, shame and…thankfulness.

The last one surprised him, but quickly made sense. Bella had been there in a way that he doubted anyone else could have been. He had needed her more than ever before.

He lay in his bed, thinking with no real hurry.

It was some time later when he heard a soft knock on his bedroom door. Assuming it wasn't Molly, he knew it had to have been Bella.

"Come in," he called.

Edward dropped his hands away from his face as Bella slipped through the door, carrying two mugs of coffee in her hands. She was still dressed her pajamas, but looked like she had been awake for a while.

Bella gave him a grin and held one of the mugs to him. "It's like ¼ of breakfast in bed."

He took the offered mug gratefully in his hands, pushing himself into more of a sitting position with his elbows. Bella stood somewhat awkwardly by the bed, watching him take a welcoming sip of the coffee. He patted the bed next to him, similar to what she had done the previous night.

Bella sat down on the bed next to him, leaning her back on the headboard. For a full minute they each sat there, sipping their coffee silently.

Finally, Edward sighed. "I should probably clean the bathroom before Molly wakes up."

"I already did," she said, somewhat sheepishly.

Edward looked at her with a raised eyebrow. She paused and then offered him an eyebrow raised of her own. He grinned.

Remembering however, why it had needed to be cleaned in the first placed sobered him immediately. "That wineglass was part of a set from her brother for our wedding," he told her.

"I'm sorry," she offered.

Edward shrugged, somewhat unconvincingly. "I shouldn't have done it. I think they were a good sum of money."

Bella snorted. "They were as expensive as hell."

Edward chuckled. "That man is loaded."

Bella gave him a teasingly haughty look. "Coming from the man in which 75% of his family are lawyers."

He rolled his eyes and took another drink of his coffee. "Law school is expensive!" he protested.

Bella looked at him disbelievingly and then shook her head. "Whatever, you little shit."

Edward grinned.

He continued to grin and she shake her head as they continued to nurse their coffee.

"Speaking of little shits, is Molly awake?" he asked.

Bella looked at him with the same _really?_ look she had given him several times now.

"It's a term of endearment!" he objected, "You know, like when she leaves a giant mess in her diaper and then smiles at you while you try not to gag. Little shit."

Bella smirked. "Did you use a diaper reference to further the point of little shit?"

He chuckled. "Believe me, when she gives you that amused smile, it's usually not for a little shit. It's for a _whole lot_ of shit."

Bella laughed, smiling even when her amusement became silent.

"Is that a "no" to the up yet?" he asked.

She replied, "She's still asleep."

"Her grandparents must have really tired her out," he mused.

Bella giggled. "They said Molly spent most of her time crawling after the cat, trying to get its tail."

Edward chuckled, imagining the determination which he was sure his kid had had.

"And did she?" he asked with a crooked smile.

She grinned. "I think she did the first time, making the cat extra cautious the rest of the night. Mr. Mittens, by the way."

"What?"

"The cat's name is Mr. Mittens…"

"What the hell."

"Thought the same thing."

They each took another swing of the hot liquid.

"What are you thinking about the baseball game this afternoon?" she asked curiously.

Edward sighed. He had mentioned it to her yesterday afternoon following Emmett's departure.

"Do you want to go?" he asked her.

Bella shrugged. "It's totally up to you."

He thought about it, exhaling slowly.

"Emmett would understand if you're not really up to it yet," she said.

Edward knew she was right, as empathy wasn't an entirely foreign concept to his brother. "He'd probably be crushed though. He has been wanting to take Molly to a game for months."

Bella shrugged. "He can wait. You're what is important."

Edward eyed her dubiously but didn't argue the point. He took another drink of his coffee before resting it on his lap.

"My entire family is going to be there," he said with a small groan.

"Oh yeah," Bella agreed sarcastically, "Esme sucks. We should stay home in order to avoid tainting Molly with your awful mother."

Edward rolled his eyes.

"Smartass," he muttered.

She smiled triumphantly at the compliment.

"I guess we can go," he decided. "Molly will enjoy all the attention."

Bella didn't look convinced.

"Yes, she will…but will you?"

Edward sighed. "I can handle it."

Bella leaned over closer to him and then nudged his arm with her own softly. She looked at him, her large brown eyes shining with an emotion he couldn't quite name.

"You're not alone in this," she promised.

He nudged her gently back.

"I'm starting to see that."

~O~

Navigating through a crowded baseball stadium with a stroller and having to avoid stairs, was not something Edward or Bella wished to do again in their lifetime. The ordeal in itself made Edward rethink his already unsteady decision to come in the first place.

Molly, however, didn't seem to care. Not many people had strollers so when they passed through, a lot of people cooed over Molly and gave her little waves. Edward rolled his eyes at his kid's antics.

It was a hot day, the temps in the 80's and still rising. When they made it to the suite which were air conditioned, him and Bella were ready to collapse on one of the couches in exhaustion.

When they entered into the suite which was already filled with people, it grew somewhat quiet. Before Edward could become uncomfortable, Emmett stepped forward, beer already in hand.

"Bro! You made it!" he boomed, giving Edward a hug.

Molly squealed as the brother's pulled apart. She held her arms out to her favorite uncle, kicking her legs excitedly.

Emmett laughed at the little girl and picked her up with one arm. "And you brought squirt!" He settled her so that her legs were tucked against his chest and her bottom resting on his forearm. She clapped the sides of Emmett's face making the others in the room laugh.

Esme and Carlisle stepped forward from where they had been speaking and crossed the space to their son and Bella.

"Bella!" Esme beamed excitedly, holding her arms out for a hug. Bella smiled at the woman's infectious personality.

She hugged her back. "Hey, Esme."

Esme tightened her hold on the young woman and they rocked slightly. "I'm so glad you guys came," she whispered.

"It's good to be out," Bella replied quietly, neither breaking the hug.

Esme pulled back slightly so that they were eye to eye. "How's he doing?" she asked in a whisper, not needing to clarify who she was speaking about.

Bella found Edward through the corner of her eye, speaking to his father. "He's okay, I think. It's a day by day thing." She didn't feel the need to mention the previous night, and how he had been doing well until then.

Esme nodded in understanding. "I'm worried about the two you. How are you, dear?"

Bella shrugged with a sense of sadness. "It's hard a lot of the times, but I'm going on."

Esme leaned in and hugged her once again. "Oh honey, you're doing so well. It'll get better, I promise."

Bella took a deep breath in the safety of Esme's arms and nodded. "That's what I'm hoping for."

The maternal woman patted her back comfortingly.

"Trust me, it will. I hope Edward knows that as well."

Bella sighed. "I'm trying."

Esme smiled at the young woman and thought that she was doing remarkably. "That is more than enough. Edward just needs someone right now, and you two really understand what the other is going through."

Bella nodded in agreement. Esme looked over at her son and then looked away before he could notice her gaze. "Thank you," she said quietly.

"For what?" she asked.

Esme frowned. "My son is someone who puts everything he's got into something. He put his heart and soul into his marriage. And now that it's gone, I worry what he thinks is left of himself."

Bella knew that Esme's concerns were parallel to her own. Esme continued when it was apparent that Bella didn't have words. "So thank you for being there for him. I would never have expected him to be doing as well as he is."

The women embraced once final time before Esme grinned at her and went over to Emmett to see her granddaughter.

Bella stepped over to where Carlisle and Edward were as they didn't seem to be in a pressing conversation. She was always surprised when she saw Carlisle without a suit on, but he was wearing a Twins jersey, had a beer in hand and looked totally relaxed.

"Hey, Mr. C!" Bella grinned, giving him a quick hug.

Carlisle rolled his eyes and returned her hug. "Well, I guess we finally got past the Mr. Cullen stage."

Bella smiled somewhat mischievously at the men in front of her. People hated lawyers, for the most part, thought they were conceited ass holes. But the guys in front of her were some of the kindest people she had ever met.

"I thought you might appreciate that."

Carlisle laughed, shaking his head while Edward rolled his eyes. "Your use of formalities has always confused me."

Bella shrugged with a grin. "That's probably why I do it then. I gotta keep you sharp and all."

"Well then I'm grateful," Carlisle smiled. "Can I get you guys anything? Beer, water, Mike's Hard Lemonade or Coke?"

"I'll just have a Coke," Bella replied.

"Same," Edward agreed. The blonde man nodded and went in the direction of the refreshments.

"No alcohol?" Bella asked teasingly but with underlying curiosity.

Edward shrugged. "I don't know if it's a good idea."

Bella nodded in understanding.

Edward opened his mouth to say something, but Emmett interrupted. "Edward, where's your kid's team spirit?" He gestured to Molly who was sitting happily on his arm. She was wearing a blue shirt with red leggings, but that didn't appease her godfather.

Bella was a little irritated with the eldest Cullen, as she was curious what Edward had been about to say, but didn't let it show.

Edward shrugged. "I thought that was your duty as uncle?"

Emmett grinned. "Bella, go grab your elfish sister and get this child some gear!"

Bella rolled her eyes but took Molly from his arms and settled her on her hip and went over to where Alice was speaking with her boyfriend, Jasper.

"Wanna go shop for clothes?" Bella asked with no real greeting.

"Hell yes!" Then she saw Molly looking at her curiously and swore, "Shit, I'm not supposed to swear in front of her!"

Bella huffed in exasperation at her tiny older sister. "Nailed that, sis."

Alice grinned. "Well let's go get that kid a jersey!"

The two sisters and little girl left the suite and went in the direction of the store with all Twins memorabilia. It was crowded, but much easier to slip through without the stroller slowing them down.

"How are you, little monkey?" Alice cooed at the little girl who was giggling at her. "You are such a cute little thing!"

Bella snorted. Molly was very cute and she knew it too.

They reached the store and Alice darted confidently through the mass of people, Bella following in her wake. The kids sized clothes were way in the back and it took them a little while to reach the area.

Alice stopped in front of the pink section of clothes but shook her head in disgust. "If you're not going to wear your team colors, don't even bother." Then she addressed Molly in a baby voice, "And your Mama would have killed me if I allowed you wear something that hideously pink."

Bella couldn't help but crack a grin at her sister. She was glad Alice wasn't tiptoeing around Taylor, but was being sensitive to it as well. Bella tried to talk to Molly about her Mama as well, but usually when Edward wasn't in ear shot as she was not sure how he would react.

"She really would have," Bella agreed as they moved onto the regular little clothing.

Alice shook her head. "I'm not a big fan of pink, but never was I to Taylor's extent."

"Which is surprising since the two of you are about the pinkest people I've ever met," Bella commented.

Alice gave her a look. "How do you compare people to colors exactly?"

Bella shrugged, "I don't know. You're just…pink."

Her older sister rolled her eyes. "Good point," she said sarcastically.

"A-ha!" Alice exclaimed, having found a shirt. She held up the small navy t-shirt that read MINNESOTA and had a number 7 to the right under it. The back read, MAUER.

"This is legit."

Bella shook her head. "You just picked it because he's the most attractive one on the team."

"So?" Alice challenged.

"Fair enough. Let's get it," she agreed. They began their way back to the other end of the store where the check-out was.

When they got into the line Alice sighed and looked at Bella. "How's life?" she asked sympathetically.

"Sucky," Bella replied.

Alice nodded, figuring as much. "I miss her too."

"It just sucks not having someone to call and gossip, or vent or laugh with every day," she sighed.

"I know. You two have been so close for as long as I can remember."

They moved a few steps up in line, Molly still looking curiously around. "How's Edward?" Alice wondered.

"People keep asking me that," Bella answered, "And I'm never sure what to say. He's a wreck, but he's managing to get through the days."

"Just like you." It wasn't a question.

"Just like me," she agreed.

Alice sighed. "Well, sometimes that's all you can do. I'm glad you have Molly to keep the both of you on your toes."

Bella lifted a hand to stroke Molly's soft hair back into place. "She's starting to walk."

Alice raised both of her eyebrows, impressed. She addressed the little girl, "Way to go, kid." She offered her fist to Molly to pound. Molly swatted at it enthusiastically making the older girls laugh.

"We're working on," Bella assured her, laughing.

They paid for the shirt and made their way back to the suite, as the national anthem was just about to be sung. They slipped in the room right as the opening chords began. Bella got Molly out of the blue shirt and slipped the new shirt over her head, pleased at how well it matched the red leggings.

Everyone else in the suite was in the outdoor part where there were two rows of seats to view the game. They watched a teenage girl belt out the Star Spangle Banner. She saw Edward talking with Jasper and Alice joining them, only after giving Edward as big of hug as she was capable of.

Molly wanted to be over by all the people, probably to show off her new clothes. She turned on the chair where Bella had set her on, and slipped off it, going to stand with her hands on the chair to steady herself.

Bella smiled and bent down to offer her hands to the tiny girl. As Bella had told her sister, Molly had just recently begun taking painfully slow steps with support from an adult. Bella was sure she would be walking in a few weeks by herself.

Molly grabbed onto each of Bella's index fingers and proceeded to take slow, wobbly steps which would have resulted in her falling had Bella not been supporting her. Still, Bella felt an undeniable rush of pride run through her as the determined little girl tried to walk.

The national anthem ended and people resumed talking again, the energy in the stadium buzzing.

Jasper, the tall and handsome, blonde lawyer glanced over at the two girls, slowly making their way to people and grinned.

Edward broke off mid-sentence in confusion at Jasper's sudden smile. He followed his gaze over to Bella and Molly and smiled himself. Molly giggled when she saw that she had gotten her father's attention.

Edward crouched down, setting his beverage on the ground next to him. He held his arms out to Molly who was still about seven feet away. "Come here, baby girl."

Bella laughed as Molly struggled to pick up her pace in order to get to her daddy. She helped the little girl adjust her pace to something a little speedier…and wobblier. Bella's hair was slipping from where she had had it tucked behind her ear and flopping in front of her face, making her laugh as she had no way of moving it.

Most of the people in the suite had turned from the introduction of the baseball players to the little girl with big blue eyes who was trying to walk. They smiled on as she got closer and closer to her patiently waiting father.

Finally after cooing encouragement from both Bella and Edward, Molly was within a foot of Edward. Bella slipped her fingers out of her hands and Molly unsteadily took the final two steps by herself. She would have fallen over from her lack of balance, but Edward caught her right before she could have.

Edward scooped his daughter up from the floor, standing up in the process. He tossed her gently in the air, making her giggles fill the room.

"That's my girl!" he praised, kissing the top of her head.

Molly smiled up at her father and lifted her pudgy little hand up to his cheek. "Da!" she exclaimed.

Edward's mouth dropped up and he looked from Molly over to Bella whose own eyes were wide with surprise. When he looked back at his daughter who had just spoken her first word, his own eyes sparkled with the first tears of happiness he had had in a long time.

"That's right, baby girl," he whispered, kissing her head again.

Bella looked on at the exchange with such happiness that she felt the remains of her broken heart start to piece slowly back together.

Edward's gaze met Bella's for less than a second as he lifted his lips from her soft hair. Bella gave him a smile and a small shake of the head that let him know she had no idea in hell what was going on with their lives.

Edward lifted Molly to nuzzle his nose against her.

"Yes, sweetheart, I'm your Daddy."

* * *

_If you were gone in another life _  
_I don't believe I would just survive _  
_I could feel you next to me _  
_An escape from the world I'm in _  
_Oh, I'm afraid of the world I'm in _  
_One day I will see Heaven's reach _  
_I'll find the one who left me sleeping _  
_Every war was another seed _  
_That could feed every soul in need _  
_Oh, I'm worn by the war in me _

_Somebody found me here _  
_Somebody held my breath _  
_Somebody saved me from the world you left_  
_If you're gonna cry my tears _  
_If you're gonna hold my breath _  
_If you're gonna let me see the sun you set _  
_Oh, I am lost and found_  
Lost and Found, Katie Herzig

* * *

**AN: **Without a doubt, that was the lightest chapter in the story so far. After the especially hard night these two had previously, Edward needed to really see how extensive his support system really is.

Since this is Part II, the Taylor flashbacks are done. She's still gonna be a big topic obviously, but there will be no more glimpses into her and Edward's marriage.

Thank you all for your reviews! Have an awesome weekend! (:


	13. Alone

Alone.

It was something that he had felt since his wife slipped out the door to get his daughter medicine. He had sat there on that couch, feeling an odd, unsettling sense of being alone. How alone he was, was confirmed when he reached the hospital and saw her in a coma, and then four days later when she left the world completely.

Loneliness was not something that he was unfamiliar with at this time. In fact, he had grown quite used to it.

However, sometimes in the past weeks, he didn't feel quite so alone.

He felt like he had someone, someone to share his sorrows and recall the memories he so needed to hear. He had had someone with him, a friend who he couldn't have made it without.

But being alone is elusive, it comes and goes. He found he was much more content when the feeling was not with him.

It took her going back to work for him to see that.

~O~

"Are you sure you have everything?" Edward asked anxiously for the sixth time.

Bella rolled her eyes. "Yes, _mother_."

Edward took a drink of his coffee and shook his head. "I'm just making sure," he told her innocently.

Bella shook her head. "Edward, it is just work. I'm not going off to war."

He shrugged. "It's been awhile, just wanted to make sure you're good."

Bella bit back a smile at how anxious and seemingly nervous he was for her to leave. It was kinda adorable.

"I am thank you. And thanks for brewing the coffee, even though you didn't have to get up this early," she said.

Edward hadn't really had a reason to wake up when Bella did, as he had been sleeping in these past few weeks until Molly would wake up. He still wasn't getting much sleep these days, but three or four hours was getting him through the days.

Bella was going back to work today, her two week leave from Gray Books up. She had been dreading the day, as a part of her had believed that her time spent healing with Edward and Molly would never run out. But sometimes, you gotta get back to the real world.

And she had a feeling the real world would kick her ass.

"It's not a big deal," Edward replied in response. "I took it upon myself to make sure the working girl had plenty of caffeine in her system."

Bella grinned. "All of which I'm sure that I'll need."

They were quiet for a moment as Bella glanced at her watch before taking another drink from her mug of coffee. She had about five minutes before she needed to be leaving for work, and she was scared as hell.

She was dressed to impress, Edward noted. As a man in a profession which required impeccable clothing, he noticed the effort that she had obviously put into her clothing. She was wearing a black pencil skirt with a silk purple blouse tucked in. Her hair was pinned up into an intricate bun and she was wearing make-up, something that had not been a regular occurrence lately.

"I don't want to go," Bella admitted in a voice barely above a whisper.

Edward sighed. "I know. I'm not so sure I want you to go either."

She propped her chin in her hand, frowning. "I'm just not sure I'm ready to keep going. It feels wrong…I know that's irrational, but I can't help but feel it."

Edward had felt the same thing nearly every day. "Yeah, I know what you mean. But you're a busy person; this could be good for you."

She sighed, knowing he had a point.

"But I've gotten so used to being with you and Molly every day, that I really just don't want to go."

Edward was silent as he contemplated how to respond. Bella took his silence as a leave to continue speaking.

"You know, last night I was actually considering quitting my job?" she told him. He looked at her in surprise. She continued, "It was a fleeting moment, but I was actually considering it seriously."

He shook his head. "I'm pretty sure that's not what Taylor wanted when she made that will."

Bella nodded, still frowning sadly. "I know. If I didn't, I wouldn't have gotten up today. But it's just hard."

"This whole thing is just hard," he agreed softly.

Bella eyed him with a small amount of concern. "Are you going to be okay today?" she asked.

Edward shrugged. "Molly and I should be fine."

Bella didn't look convinced. "Are you sure?"

He blew out a breath. "Well actually, I'm scared as hell. But I imagine you're feeling just about the same right now, so we're equal."

Bella quirked a small smile at the furrow in his brow that looks so much like Molly.

Edward noticed her look. "What?" he questioned.

"You're a good dad," she told him.

He seemed confused by the turn the conversation had turned.

"Thank you, Bella."

She grinned. "And you know me; I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it."

Edward chuckled. "No you wouldn't," he agreed.

They each sipped at their coffee, an act that was quickly becoming a daily recurrence between the two of them.

"You and Molly will be fine," she told him confidently.

He inclined his head at her. "And you will be okay today."

Bella's lips quirked up in a resigned smile. "But it's still going to suck."

"Yup," he agreed.

She glanced down at her watch and sighed. Taylor and Edward had purchased the house wanting to be outside of the city, so that meant an extra 20 minute drive to get into St. Paul. This meant she had to leave earlier than she was used to, as her apartment was in the city.

"I better get going," she said as she stood up from the stool at the counter.

"You have everyth-" the question died on Edward's lips as she gave him a look. "Have a good day," he amended with a sheepish smile.

"I'll try," she replied, grabbing her large leather purse and brief case/laptop holder.

The scene was so very domestic, Bella couldn't help but notice. They had settled into such an odd little life that was somehow working for each of them.

Bella walked out the front door and down the two steps from the porch that led to the sidewalk, her heels clicking. It was eight in the morning, but by the way the sun was shining, she knew it would be a beautiful summer day. It made her miss the days of being in school and the days of summer where one did nothing at all.

Sometimes being an adult sucked.

But she pushed the negative thoughts away from her mind, as she knew they were not conducive to getting her through the day. She walked around Edward's car and hopped into her red truck, smiling as she always did when she got into the driver's seat of the shiny beast.

The 20 minute drive surprised her, as she found that she had time just for her thoughts. She had the radio playing an alternative station softly and the drive was very peaceful for her. It was nice, she concluded.

A half hour later, after having navigated through the city and all of its construction, parked her car in a ramp and gathered her wits, she was in an elevator leading her up to the 16th floor where her office was, as Gray Books owned levels 15, 16, and 17. The elevator was empty, but she felt like the beating of her heart was loud enough to be heard.

When the elevator opened, she took a deep breath and then stepped out, tightening her grip on her purse handle. She nodded at the secretary, Gwen, who seemed surprised to see her, but nodded back, on was on the phone and could not say anything.

She walked around the turn of the wall to where there were a dozen cubicles where the interns worked, and four large offices surrounding the area for the high ranking employees, her having the largest.

The interns had started at the beginning of June and therefore had only seen a few days of her before she had taken leave. They were all watching curiously as she crossed over to her office. When she raised an eyebrow at a young woman whose gaze was just a little too obvious, they all found themselves very busy with work on their desks.

She sighed quietly. _It is going to be a long ass day_.

When she opened the door to her office, she was surprised. There were several bouquets of flowers on her desk, colorful and new. She smiled as she went to read the cards. One was from Sales, one from Marketing, another from the interns, and the last three from the New York, Miami and San Francisco branches of the company. She thought the intern one was particularly amusing, as she had been responsible for selecting all of them, making them eager to get in her good graces.

Bella sat down in her chair after arranging the flowers in various places around the office to clear her desk. She set down her purse in the bottom drawer and then closed it before taking out her laptop and firing it up. She drummed her fingers on the wood as she tried to figure out what she had to do today.

Bella was just in the process of beginning to check her emails when there was a knock on the door. "Come in!" she called, even though she could see who it was through the glass door.

Angie Weber was the sales rep of the branch. She was young, though a couple years older than Bella, with spiky brown hair, and lovely almond brown eyes which were framed by her glasses. She was perky as hell, but Bella loved her.

"Hey sweetie," she smiled, slipping in the door.

Bella leaned back in her chair and smiled at the woman. "Hey Ang, what's up?"

"Did you like the flowers?" she asked, looking around the office.

Bella nodded. "Thank you so much, I did."

"How are you doing?" the woman asked, sitting in one of the two chairs in front of Bella's desk.

Bella shrugged. "The first five minutes have been going pretty decent."

Angie rolled her eyes at her boss's dry tone. "Well I'm glad!" she said cheerily, "If you need anything at all, don't hesitate to let me know, okay?"

Bella nodded. "Okay," she agreed with a smile.

"Actually, that's kind of why I'm in here. I figure you want to know which intern is yours," Angie said.

Bella smirked. "That phrasing sounds kind of degrading, don't you think?"

Angie waved her hand dismissively. "You know as well as I do that they fought for you like crazy."

Bella knew it was true. They had had approximately 200 students and graduates that had applied for a summer internship at this branch alone. They had offered interviews to 40 of them and had selected only 12 for the spots. Most of them would be general interns, but a few had specific people they would be learning from and working with. Bella had agreed to take one, as she did every year.

"It's a guy, right? From Macalester?" she asked, trying to remember the name of the young man she had selected.

Angie glanced over her shoulder to see if the door was shut. "His name is Landon Olsen. And let me tell you, sweetie, that boy is _very_ attractive."

Bella smirked at the woman in front of her. "Is that why I picked him?"

Angie laughed. "It was a deciding factor. But he definitely has the best qualifications and has been doing great work since you left."

She nodded glad to know that the guy she was stuck with till September wasn't a flop. She was weary of him being a douche, as a fair share of the interns usually turned out to be. She was concerned that he was a person whose parents bought his way for him, as he did go to the most prestigious college in the state.

"Do you want me to send him in?" Angie asked, seeing Bella's cautious expression.

"Might as well," Bella agreed, distractedly. She had just saw that she had 30 unread emails, making her silently groan.

"Lunch together?" Angie checked as she stood up from the chair.

Bella looked up and smiled, giving her a nod. Angie beamed before turning and slipping out of the office.

Every one of the three different branches of Gray Books had contacted her for at least three different reasons, in the two days she had been away from her computer. She called "Come in!" when she heard a knock on her door, but didn't look up from the screen.

When she did, she blinked and tried to hide her surprise.

Angie hadn't been kidding.

The man in front of her was exceedingly good looking. Even though he was wearing a dress shirt, she could see that he had very defined muscles, and this was confirmed by his strong looking jaw. He had brown hair that was cut close to his head, but not a buzz cut. His teeth were straight and white. And he large eyes which were a mesmerizing shade between green and grey.

Landon, she presumed, was standing in front of her desk, his hands behind his back, standing tall and ready as she looked at him. Her completely inappropriate examination only lasted about three seconds, and she hoped she had been inconspicuous.

"Good morning, Mr. Olsen," Bella smiled.

The man nodded with a small professional smile. "Good morning, Ma'am."

Bella raised her eyebrows. She would correct him later, she supposed. No one had ever really called her ma'am before. He didn't have a southern accent, so she figured he was just very polite.

"Alright, why don't you have a seat?" she asked, gesturing to the chair Angie had just occupied. When he gracefully did as she had asked, she folded her hands on her desk and gave him all her attention. "Would you mind telling me about yourself?"

Landon gave her another small smile. "Not at all, Ma'am," he assured her.

"I was born in Denver, Colorado but my family and I moved to Michigan when I was 11. I have three siblings, an older sister, a young brother and another younger sister. My dad is a high school Physics teacher, and my mom is a librarian."

The man folded his hands together on his lap. "I played football and golf when I was in high school, though I did try basketball in middle school. Wasn't very good at it," he admitted with a grin.

Good, Bella thought, 'cause I hate basketball.

"I was student body president senior year. I was part of the National Honor Society, and my GPA was number one in my graduating class of nearly 400."

Bella was impressed and starting to remember why she had picked this guy.

"I just finished my 4th and final season of golf on the Macalester team, not that I got money for that. Otherwise, I kept up a 4.0 all through college and," he shrugged, "Here I am."

Bella remembered touring Macalester when she had looked at colleges. She had heard recently that the price of tuition and housing a year, was over 50,000 dollars these days.

"Were you on the dean's list or anything when you were attending school?" she asked curiously.

"Yes," he grinned, "I was. I received about 35,000 a year through scholarships and what not. I did take a year off between high school and college to work out at Yellowstone Park, trying to get some money so I wouldn't have quite such a crimpling loan debt."

Bella was really impressed with the man in front of her. She mused that he must be around 24, only a year young than her. He had worked his way through the most expensive college in the state, as his parents probably had not been able to help with the out of state tuition, him being one of four kids.

"Well, Mr. Olson," she smiled, "I think you'll be a good fit for this office. I find I'm very impressed with you, and I'm excited to work with you this summer."

Landon smiled with some bashfulness, flashing his perfect teeth. "Thank you. I'm looking forward to work with you, Ma'am."

Bella's phone buzzed where she sat it on her desk, and she glanced at the screen, seeing that it was Edward, texting her a picture message.

"You can call me Bella," she offered, giving him a distracted smile.

Landon looked surprised, but he returned her smile. "Alright, Bella it is," he agreed.

Bella nodded. "We'll talk more about your schedule and what you'll be doing these next couple months, after lunch. I have a lot to catch up on this morning."

Recognizing that he had been dismissed, Landon nodded and stood up. He had his hand on the door knob when he turned back.

"Bella?" he asked.

She looked up from her phone. "Yes?"

He seemed hesitant, but spoke. "I'm really sorry about your friend, Ma'am."

Bella's throat tightened at the sincere words. "Thank you," she forced out.

Landon nodded at her and then slipped out of her office. Bella took a deep breath as she watched the door shut behind him. Kessler's words rang through her mind. _Take a breath, and just go_.

She looked down at her iPhone and unlocked the screen, opening Edward's message. He sent her a picture of a very giggly Molly, who was sitting on her changing table wearing a bright yellow sun dress Bella had recently bought her. Her hair was sticking up, still disheveled from sleep, but her big beautiful eyes were twinkling.

She read the text attached to the message.

_Someone sunny to brighten your day._

Bella dropped the phone onto her desk and buried her face in her hands. She tried her hardest not to cry, but she lost the battle.

Sometimes, it was the hardest thing in the world to "just go."

Edward had been trying to make her day easier, and he had very sweet intentions, but it did the opposite for Bella spirits.

He probably wasn't aware that his wife Taylor had used to do the same thing on a weekly basis. For the first three months of Molly's life, Taylor had sent a picture of the little baby to Bella who was at work, captioning them accordingly, nearly every day. A lot of the times, the picture of the baby just read the words, _My beautiful little girl_.

Being back at work made Bella realize just how much she looked forward to those pictures from her best friend. It was like Taylor had known when she was having a bad day, and sent a picture of someone so pure and good to try and make it better.

Bella missed her best friend so much.

The rest of Bella's day only continued to grow worse.

She had ended up holed up in her office, unable to control her tears for nearly an hour when the head of the marketing department had walked in and saw her. It had been embarrassing for both of them, but Bella felt humiliated. She accidently blew Angie off for lunch, working through it instead and trying to respond to all the emails and people to needed things from her.

The New York office informed her that she was needed for a weeklong conference in September, in New York City. She was already dreading it, leaving Edward by himself with Molly for a week.

Then she had had to meet with Landon which admittedly, wasn't that bad. However, he had noticed that her eyes were puffier and she looked less put together, despite her efforts. While they spoke, she noticed all of the concerned and sympathetic glances he gave her when he thought she wasn't looking. It made her feel worse.

Bella wanted so bad to call Taylor during her break and tell her about the attractive young man she was working with, and gossip like they did almost daily. It was killing her that she couldn't just call her.

When Edward sent her another text that afternoon with only two words, she was close to losing it again. It read: _You okay?_

No, she wanted to yell. She wasn't okay, and the pressure of keeping it together in front of the eyes of her coworkers was a lot. She was wearing down from the stress, and thinking about how much she just wanted to go home, made her want to cry.

She then got a paper cut and spilt Pepsi on herself.

So by the time she was driving home from work, she was done.

When she opened the door to the house, tears were in her eyes as the stress of the day coursed through her. Edward came out of the kitchen as she stepped inside the house and watched her worriedly.

Bella shrugged helplessly at him before she dropped her briefcase with one hand and her purse with the other onto the floor.

Without a word, Edward crossed the space over to her, and had her wrapped in his arms just as she started to cry. He held her tightly as she sobbed against him. She didn't tell him, and he didn't ask; he just held her.

"It's okay," Edward whispered, resting his chin on the top of her head. Her tears stained through his shirt, and he knew how hard the day had been on her. "It's going to be okay."

Bella choked out unintelligible words, and even though he didn't understand them, he held her even tighter. He held her as if he would be able to absorb some of the hurt she was feeling, because she had been there for him whenever he needed her.

"You did it," he praised quietly. "Bella, you're so strong."

If anything, his words only made her cry harder, know they were not true. She hadn't cried this hard since her talk with Kessler.

"It's okay," he repeated softly.

Hearing her cries, tore at his heart, feeling her pain just as he had felt his own. He turned his head and placed a kiss on the top of her head, in her soft brown hair. "It's going to be okay, Bella."

Edward said this because he knew if he didn't believe it when she needed to hear it, they would lose the weak yet desperate grasp they were starting to have on hope.

Hope that things would get better.

* * *

_And you ask me what I want this year_  
_And I try to make this kind and clear_  
_Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days_  
_Cause I don't need boxes wrapped in strings_  
_And designer love and empty things_  
_Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days_

_So take these words_  
_And sing out loud_  
_Cause everyone is forgiven now_  
_Cause tonight's the night the world begins again_

_I wish everyone was loved tonight_  
_And somehow stop this endless fight_  
_Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days  
_Better Days, Goo Goo Dolls

* * *

**AN**: This chapter was kind of roller coaster, but really important in the changing tone of the story as well.

Landon is supposed to look like the United States gymnastic cutie Jake Dalton. I'm sorry, that boy is fine and I could not help myself. Landon's going to be sticking around for a while...just to let you know.

Hope everyone had a fun Halloween! Here's to an awesome November! Thanks for the reviews(:


	14. Normal

Normal.

Getting back to normal, people say.

But what is normal exactly?

It seems that everyone has a different definition of the word and what they consider it. He himself wasn't sure how to wrap his mind around the word "normal," because he didn't know what it meant for him and his life right now.

It's all in perspective, he supposed. A general sense of normal is a routine. Waking up, eating breakfast, getting to work, coming home to spend time with you family, eat dinner, watch Jay Leno and then go to sleep, before repeating the process. It all becomes normal.

He was still adjusting to a new normal, and it was hard, but he was trying.

But sometimes, just when things seems normal, it hits you that they're not, and they won't be again…at least not the same normal.

~O~

"How can you not catch the word _prostate_? It really doesn't mean the same thing as prostrate!"

Bella's face fell against her hand and slowly rubbed against the length of it before raising again.

The manuscript in front of her was a joke. That's what it had to be. The editor, James Freeland, had to be shitting with her, just for a laugh. That was the 6th mistake she found that he hadn't caught, and she was only 40 pages in.

Landon Olsen, her intern, was sitting across from her at her desk and was trying not to chuckle.

Bella continued her exasperated rant. "It's such a great story. It really is. But the author never really does that great of a job editing, and when our own goddamn editor doesn't do that great of a job editing, we're all just screwed!"

Landon flipped through his own copy of the book. "I highlighted another one I found last night…I think it's around page 60…here it is." He held his copy of papers out to her, and she took it with a grimace.

She read it out loud. "Right next to auditorium, my the east wing…" she groaned.

"What the hell, James. _My_ the east wing?"

"You're sure he's not an intern?" Landon asked, partially serious.

Bella gave him a look, implying that it was too soon to be making jokes about the reason for the massive headache she was getting.

"Positive," she replied, going to pick up the phone on her desk. "Interns wouldn't have made this many mistakes."

Landon watched as Bella dialed the 16th floor's secretary, Gwen. "Good morning, Miss Swan, how can I help you?" she answered after the second ring.

"Can you get James Freeland in my office at as soon as possible?" she asked trying to keep out pissed she was out of her tone.

"Of course, Miss Swan. He is coming into the office after noon. Shall I send him in then?" she asked.

Bella sighed. "That'll be fine. Thank you."

"Not a problem," Gwen replied before they each hung up the phone.

Bella slumped in her chair, pushing the manuscript away with no small amount of disgust. Landon watched her with a small grin on his face, clearly trying to hide his amusement.

"It's not funny," she groaned.

Landon let out a short chuckle. "No it's not," he agreed insincerely. Bella raised an eyebrow at him. "Okay it's a little funny. Prostate?"

Bella shook her head, letting out an exasperated laugh of her own. "I should fire him," she sighed.

"You can do that, just like that?" he asked.

Bella shrugged. "I'm the head of this branch; my only boss is Mr. Collins in New York, and other than the three department heads, he lets me do my own thing."

"Doesn't it seem a little harsh to fire him for a bad manuscript?" he said.

Bella eyed the man in front of her with a frown. "I suppose so, but think what would have happened if we would have published it like that. Remember that he was the final editor of it. That book would be a laughing stock, because this publishing company has a high reputation and my ass would be on the line. It sure as hell isn't my job to be cleaning up after his mistakes, because he shouldn't be making these."

Landon nodded. "Are you going to fire him then?" he wondered.

Bella let out a huff. "I'm going to let his ass know that this is his 2nd strike. If there is anything even remotely close to this again, he will be done."

Sometimes it was nice to be the boss.

If Landon was frightened by her somewhat intimidating stance on things, he didn't let it show. She privately thought to herself that the man in front of her would do a much better job than James Freeland was.

Bella clicked a few things on her laptop to pull up a calendar. "James has three manuscript deadlines that are coming up in July. When he submits them to me, I'll give them to you to look over with a freaking magnifying glass before I even look at them."

Landon grinned at her ruthless expression. He was really glad the woman he was working with was neither a bitch (in layman's terms, since he rarely used that word) nor an idiot. On the contrary, she was confident, smart, witty and powerful, and he was very impressed by the few days of work he had seen from her.

"I look forward to it," he answered. He was also glad that since she had arrived back from her leave that he was doing important work and really learning about the business, instead of the busy work the interns had been doing.

Bella nodded. "I've been trying to stay caught up since coming back, but I have about 9 or 10 manuscripts that have been read and submitted directly to me that I need to approve or deny to publish. You can-" she was interrupted by her phone ringing on her desk.

She held up a finger to him and reached over to answer it, seeing that it was Gwen on the line again. "Yes?" she answered.

"Miss Swan, a Mr. Cullen and his daughter are wishing to see you. Shall I send them in?"

Bella couldn't hide her surprise. "Um, yeah…of course! Thanks."

She hung up the phone and tried to remember her train of thought before the surprise of Edward and Molly's visit.

"Where was I?" she asked Landon.

"Nine of ten manuscripts?"

"Oh yeah!" she remembered, "You can take a couple of them and start to summarize them. I'm talking not just the plot, not that that's not important, but I want the author's writing and their voice summed up as well, if you wouldn't mind?"

Landon was excited by the prospect. "I'll get started right away."

Bella smiled and gestured over towards a thick stack of papers that was resting on a small four person table over to the left of her desk. "Grab whichever you want."

Landon stood up went over to the stack just as the door to her office opened. She looked over to see Edward and a happy Molly entering the room. Molly was sitting on Edward's elbow as he curled his hand around her and held her with one arm. Upon seeing Bella, Molly started to squirm out of her father's arms, holding her arms out towards Bella.

Bella smiled as she pushed away from her chair and crossed the space of her office towards them. "Hey there, cutie pie!" she cooed as Edward passed her the little girl.

"What are you guys doing here?" Bella asked as she lightly tossed Molly around, making her giggle.

"I would have texted you that we were coming, but alas, you forgot your phone," he smirked, pulling her iPhone out of his back pocket.

Bella grinned sheepishly. "My bad."

Edward rolled his eyes. "I also figure while I'm in the city, I'll run to the firm and talk to my dad. I don't want to, but I think it's time that I have to be getting back to work."

Bella settled Molly onto her hip, tickling her sides distracted as she conversed with Edward. "We'll have to get Molly back into daycare then. She still has a spot right?" Taylor had opted to send Molly to a home daycare, the same one she had gone to when she was a kid.

He nodded. "I talked to Annie, the daycare lady, this morning, and I could tell that she really missed Molly."

"It's up to you, but do you think you're going to hold off until after the 4th of July?" Independence Day had fallen on a Thursday this year, and Bella had taken off the Wednesday through Friday of the week, not that she had mentioned that to Edward yet.

Edward raised his eyebrows. "Why do you ask?"

Bella shifted her weight from one foot to the other, the sheepish look back on her face. "Well my parents are going to San Diego that week with my aunt and uncle, so Alice and I get the lake cabin for the week of the 4th."

He gave her a slow nod. "Ah."

She rushed to continue. "I mean, we don't have to go if you don't want to. It's just going to be Alice and Jasper, maybe Emmett and Rosalie if they can get time off, you know, nothing big. It's okay if you don't want to…I mean I've found that lakes are actually really relaxing and peaceful, especially in tough times, but I understand completely if you're not ready to go back to it with so many memories…" she was rambling and she knew it, but the words did not stop until Edward gave her an amused look.

"You talk so much," he muttered, shaking his head. "If it's okay, I think it'd be nice to get up to the lake, since I know you haven't this summer. Molly would love it too I'm sure."

Bella smiled at the little girl who was peering over at Landon curiously. She then looked at Edward seriously. "You sure?"

Edward's face softened and he gave her a small, yet sure nod. "I'm sure. I'll go back to work the Monday after."

Their gaze at each other was broken by Landon, who was shuffling somewhat awkwardly, a small pile of manuscripts in his hand. Bella felt bad, realizing how uncomfortable he was.

"Oh, Edward, this is Landon Olsen, my intern for the summer," she gestured to man in question, "Landon this is my friend, Edward Cullen."

With a suspicious, yet still passing as polite look, Edward offered his hand to the other man. "Nice to meet you."

Landon nodded. "Likewise. Pardon me for asking, but are you with, in some way, Watson Cullen Law?"

Edward hid a smirk. "I work there. My dad is the co-founder of it."

Landon nodded, appearing impressed. "Cool," he said with an easy smile.

Not wanting to leave an awkward pause in the conversation, Bella jumped in. "And this little thing is Miss Molly!" she said, bouncing Molly on her hip.

Landon smiled at the little girl and gave a small wave at her. "It's nice to meet you too, Miss Molly."

Molly smiled timidly at him before turning her face into Bella's arm shyly. Bella grinned down at the adorable girl.

Landon smiled as well before nodding at Bella. "I'll get to work on these right away." He turned to Edward as he walked out the door and nodded at him as well, "Good to meet you Mr. Cullen."

When Landon was out of the office with door shut, Edward looked at Bella with a raised eyebrow. "_Mr. Cullen_?" he asked.

Bella rolled her eyes. "Doesn't everyone call you that at the firm?"

Edward snorted.

"Bella, they don't even call my dad Mr. Cullen."

She shook her head. "Well he was just being polite."

Edward chuckled. "What is he? From the 1940's?"

"The 40's were a good time!" she defended teasingly.

He rolled his eyes. "Between a world war and depression? Yeah! Just a dandy time!"

"You're using the word _dandy_ while simultaneously mocking someone for being from the 40's?" she asked incredulously.

Edward laughed, conceding defeat to their verbal sparring. "Touché"

Bella set Molly on the floor, giving the little one her fingers so that she could toddle around the space and not fall over. "Do you guys want to stay for lunch? I was thinking about ordering sandwiches or something."

Edward glanced at his watch. "That'd be nice, but I promised Emmett I'd bring this one," he nodded down at Molly, "over to see him for lunch."

"Oh, that's fine," she assured him, knowing how much Emmett adored Molly. "How's he doing with all your cases?"

Edward let out a chuckle. "I'm sure he relatively hates me right now. I do think my dad did take a majority though."

Bella grinned, thinking that it had been a great show of support among the Cullen men.

"It's hard getting back to work…but it's kind of nice to have something to do, and people to boss around other than you," she smiled teasingly. And she was speaking honestly, as although the first day and yesterday had both sucked ass, today was better and she was already getting back into the swing of things.

He rolled his eyes. "I believe you."

"What have you and Molly been up to?" she wondered. Molly continued to toddle on wobbly legs, and Bella patiently stepped around with her while conversing with her father.

Edward shrugged. "Not much. We've been outside, practicing that superb walking of hers a lot, and she likes to be in the kitchen when I cook, so we've been in there a lot while I practice my not so superb cooking skills. And we've watched Lion King three times."

Bella laughed. "Thatta girl! Taylor would be proud."

Edward returned her smile, perhaps a little less exhuberantly, but still very much there. "That's what I thought."

If Bella mentioned Taylor's name to anyone else, the person she was conversing with would grow silent, sometimes uncomfortable, bringing both of the conversants into a sad silence that left Bella feeling sad. But Edward was the only person who she could speak to him with about her. She knew he appreciated the fact that she didn't tiptoe around Taylor like she hadn't been an amazing part of both their lives.

Bella scooped Molly off the floor and cradled her playfully in her arms. "You like Lion King?" she cooed.

Molly's eyes brightened, recognizing the words. "Rar!" she exclaimed. Since her first word the previous weekend at the baseball game, Molly was making all kinds of noises.

"Do lions roar?" Bella asked.

Molly smiled and repeated, "Rar!"

Bella looked over at Edward questioningly. She was surprised when she saw a faint blush appear on his cheekbones. "I may have been practicing my lion's roar…" he admitted.

At this admission, Bella threw her head back and laughed. "I'm good at it!" he protested upon her amusement.

Bella smirked at him and shook her head. She tickled Molly and said to her, "I'll introduce you to Tarzan tomorrow, cutie, and we'll see how good your Daddy can do monkey noises," she promised.

Edward looked smug. "Oh, I'm great at monkeys. You just wait and see."

Bella rolled her eyes. "And here I thought Emmett would be the monkey of the family."

"Oh, he's fantastic at monkeys, being the oaf that he is. Maybe Molly can get him to do it in the office," Edward grinned gleefully.

"Well," Bella smiled, "I guess you better go figure out!" She carefully tossed Molly the small space between her and Edward, where he caught her easily. Her giggles filled the space of the office, making each of them grin.

"I'll see you back at home," Edward smiled, settling Molly against him.

Bella nodded. "Thanks for bringing me my phone."

"No problem," he replied. Bella went over and opened the door for them. "See ya."

"Bye," she laughed, waving at Molly. She stood against the frame of the door and watched them walking across the space of the office, the interns conspicuously watching as they did so.

"It's a kid, guys," she said, drawing their attention from Edward and Molly back to her. "Not a flamingo. Stop staring," she added, rolling her eyes.

They scrambled back to work while Bella walked into her office, musing how she didn't really use her cell phone at work, and Edward probably knew that. He must have known that not seeing Molly every hour of the day had been a weird and difficult adjustment, and he had done just what she needed.

~O~

The associates of Watson Cullen Law were treated to seeing Emmett Cullen, the somewhat infamous son of their boss, do very realistic monkey and ape impressions.

Edward knew his brother probably wouldn't have put himself in that position at the work place had Edward not been there. By acting like an ape, he took all of the attention away from the other infamous son of Carlisle Cullen, who had been getting stared at everywhere he went in the office with Molly.

"All right folks!" Emmett declared after a round of applause at his antics, "Nothing more to see here! Go back to your stapling."

The crowd of associates filed out of the break room, still chuckling from seeing Emmett's hidden talent.

"I need a vacation after that," Emmett declared, snatching Molly out of Edward's lap much to her delight, and falling into a chair.

"Alice and Bella wanted to know if you and Rose want to go to their cabin next week for the 4th," he told his older brother.

"Really?" Emmett asked. Edward nodded. "That'd be awesome!"

"Easy on the beer though," he warned his older brother.

Emmett rolled his eyes. "What's a party without a little liquor?"

"Emphasis on a _little_."

The two brothers shared an easy lunch that Edward discovered he had been missing the past few weeks.

Across town, back on the 16th floor of Gray Books, Bella was just about to go get lunch when her phone rang. She leaned over her desk and exasperatedly and picked it up. "Hello?"

"Miss Swan, you're quite popular today. There is a man here who wants to see you," Gwen told her.

Bella sighed. "Does he have a name?"

Though slightly muted, she heard Gwen ask, "Sir, can I get your name?"

"Here, let me talk to her," the man replied.

Curious now, Bella waited to Gwen to hand the phone over.

"Swan, I brought lunch."

Bella rolled her eyes.

"Hello, Kessler," she said.

"It's Jimmy Johns," her former tennis coach added.

"Deal."

Bella hung up the phone and left her office, walking past the interns, noting that she really had to have a talk with them about staring every time someone walked by. She walked around the floor to ceiling wall that separated Gwen's desk from the rest of the floor. Kessler was standing there in a bright green polo and khakis, with a Jimmy Johns bag in one hand and Mt. Dew in the other.

"You brought me food," Bella marveled as she walked over to him, "You are truly a kind soul."

Kessler smirked. "Yeah, I get that a lot."

She rolled her eyes and started walking to the elevator. "Well I'm sick of my office, so let's go to a conference room."

They went up one floor in the elevator to level 17, where two conference rooms used by Gray Books were located. One was being used by a few people, Bella assumed the marketing team. She led her coach into the empty one, which had huge windows that framed the downtown skyline beautifully.

"Whatcha got for me?" she asked as they took seats at the end of the long table.

"I figured I couldn't go wrong with a BLT," he answered, pulling out a wrapped up sub from the bag and tossing it to her.

"Good reasoning." She did like bacon a hell of a lot too much.

Kessler pulled out his own sub. "I had them dose mine with the spiciest dressing they had…hope it's better than Subways."

Bella rolled her eyes. "That was like seven years ago. You still haven't moved on?" The tennis team had stopped at a Subway after a meet her junior year, and everyone had had to hear about Kessler's disgust that their spicy sauce was really just mild. It had become a running joke for the year among them.

Kessler narrowed his eyes. "I don't forget injustices."

Bella just shook her head.

They had each taken a bite of their food, when Kessler spoke. "Anyway I could convince you to come back this fall and help with the team?"

"I don't know," she replied truthfully. She wasn't sure if she was ready to go and help with the girl's high school team that she had once been a part of. She didn't know if she could go back to those times without Taylor.

"They're going to be making a state run," he told her. "We only lost two seniors this past year and there is an up and coming doubles team and that are going to kick ass this season."

"They remind me of a team I once coached," he said, looking at her meaningfully. Bella understood.

"With their stunning looks and sharp wit?" she grinned.

He rolled his eyes. "No, I'm not sure which doubles team _that_ was. But they're almost as determined as Taylor and you were."

"You know," she began, "We didn't come by that determination naturally. You pushed us."

Kessler shook his head, his lips pursing. "No, the two of you started the sport with the intent to win. And it wasn't just in tennis that you've had the determination. Look where you are, kid. You're the head of one of the most famous publishing companies in the country."

"You know one of the things I miss most about her?" Bella asked, somewhat randomly.

"Taylor pushed me to be better, and I pushed her right back. Do you think it's by coincidence that we had the best grades in the school? That we were both involved with a crazy number of things in school? That we were both the exact same, admittedly high, skill level in tennis?"

"No, it's not coincidence," Kessler replied simply, "You'd get better, and then she'd catch up and get better. She'd get better and then you'd work harder to get up to that level. Hell, she took the ACTS and got a 30, you took them and got a 31, and she retook them and got a freaking 32. I don't know if it was always intentional, but you two motivated each other to great things."

"I miss her," Bella sighed. She took another bite of her sub, as did Kessler and they chewed in silence.

"Remember what I use to tell you all the time at practice?" Kessler asked randomly after a minute.

Bella looked at him a raised eyebrow.

"'Swan, you're not _that_ fat.'" She answered sarcastically.

"I said that once!" he protested heartily, "It was taken completely out of context!"

"You were telling me that I didn't have to have diet green tea if I didn't want to."

"So essentially, it was a compliment," he retorted.

"And what about the time you didn't believe me when I told you I was ordering my uniform in size small, and insisted that I was at least a medium?"

"And did your uniform fit that year?" he challenged.

"No!" she exclaimed, "It was too big!"

Kessler rolled his eyes. Bella knew she wasn't fat, or nearly remotely close to it, as she had weighed about 115 for the past ten years. She just enjoyed giving him shit, as he wasn't afraid to give it right back.

"Back to my original point," he said, accusingly. "What did I tell you a ton of times when you couldn't do backhands to save your life and poor Taylor was perpetually stuck on that side of the court?"

Seeing that he was in the process of actually making a point she thought about it seriously for a moment. "You said a lot of sarcastic things…" she trailed off, thinking. He snorted but allowed her to trek through her memories.

"You told me to take my weakness and turn it into a strength…didn't you?" she remembered.

Kessler nodded, more sober more. "And to this day you have the best backhand I've ever coached."

Bella looked at him questioningly, not sure where they were going with this reminiscing.

"I just think it's interesting that you've lived by that since then," he said.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"It's what you do Bella. You take whatever you're struggling with, and you use it to make you stronger."

"Kessler, I haven't played tennis in a long time," she replied.

The coach waved his hand dismissively. "I don't mean in tennis. I meant in life."

"I don't see what you see," she admitted, though she understood the point he was trying to make.

"I know you don't. But it's there. Taylor made you a better person. Don't let her loss be a weakness to you, let it make you stronger."

He gave her a small smile.

"And I can see that it already is."

* * *

_You wake up every morning and ask yourself_  
_What am I doing here anyway_  
_With the weight of all those disappointments_  
_Whispering in your ear_  
_You're just barely hanging by a thread_  
_You wanna scream but you're down to your last breath_  
_And you don't know it yet_

_But down the road the sun is shining_  
_In every cloud there's a silver lining_  
_Just keep holding on_  
_And every heartache makes you stronger_  
_But it won't be much longer_  
_You'll find love, you'll find peace_  
_And the you you're meant to be_  
_I know right now that's not the way you feel_  
_But one day you will_  
One Day You Will, Lady Antebellum

* * *

**AN: **I apologize for the delay, as I have had one of those stress filled, never ending, tiring weeks that absolutely kill.

This chapter is pretty straightforward, as far as explaining goes. I hope you guys all enjoyed it! Also, I know I usually don't have the time to reply to reviews, but know that I am reading them and I am so thankful for the feedback you all give me! (:


	15. Nature

Nature.

He had always found it sad that throughout the years as homes, buildings and skyscrapers went up, trees and plants went down, and grass was torn away.

His father, though a lawyer, loved to be outdoors. He was raised on the lakes and hadn't fallen out of love with their beauty and instead, he passed the love onto his sons.

Sometimes, it's hard to find beauty in the world because things are dark and it seems impossible to fathom that there could be good in the world around you.

But sometimes, if you just take a deep breath and look at the nature around you, things just make sense.

He couldn't explain, and he doubted anyone really could, but when you go out to the quiet of nature and you see things as they had for centuries before you, a sense of peace surrounds you. And for a moment, everything you're going through, all your struggles and turbulence…it just disappears, if only for an instant.

Sometimes you just need to be overwhelmed with the beauty of the world we live in.

Sometimes, it's just what you need in life.

~O~

He couldn't sleep.

It wasn't really an odd occurrence in his life, and he had grown resigned to all of the sleepless nights. Thoughts plagued his mind, and instead of fighting it, he just let them wash over him.

But that night was different. Something was calling to him, and at 4:30 am, he figured out what it was.

He was careful to be quiet as he slipped on a shirt and sweatpants. Tiptoeing, he exited his room and was careful not to wake the girls. He passed Molly's room and saw her sleeping in her crib, curled on her stomach with her butt in the air. It always made him smile seeing her like that. Bella's door was closed, but he couldn't be sure if she was having trouble sleeping as well, so he was extra careful to slip past her room.

It was still dark outside when he exited the front door. He figured the dawn would break in a little bit, but for now the darkness was consuming and peaceful.

Edward got into his car, thankful that it had a quiet engine. He slowly crept in reverse down the driveway before getting onto the road and beginning to pick up speed. He took liberties with the speed limit, as no one was around the town driving at this time of day.

When he reached his destination, he barely got the keys out of the ignition before he was out of the car. He didn't hesitate as he navigated through the grassy land, and he had no trouble figuring out where he was going. In fact, by the time he reached where he was going, he realized he had been running.

As he got there, he lost all of his strength, and fell onto his knees.

_Taylor May Cullen_

_1985-2010_

_Loving wife, mother, and friend._

_"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me."_

He hadn't been back since they day of the funeral, and the stone had not been there at the time.

Seeing the words engraved in the polished grey stone made his already heavy heart weaken.

Edward didn't say anything. He didn't come here to talk to her. He didn't really know exactly what had brought him here. It was like a magnet, pulling him towards her, and he had come. He didn't know what else to do.

Tears leaked from his eyes as he stared motionlessly at the stone which marked her grave. He made no move to wipe them away.

_Oh Taylor_, he thought weakly, _Why did you have to go?_

He knew he would never have the answer to such a question. But it didn't stop the thought from crossing his mind all of the time. He wanted answers for impossible questions.

It was hard to understand why Taylor had died. Why had it been her? Why did the girl who no one has ever had a bad thing to say about, have to be pulled away from the world? Why did her daughter who was blessed with an amazing mother, have to grow up without her?

Taylor had been so good. She didn't deserve the death that came to her, and the years ripped away from not only her, but him as well.

"I wish you were here with me tonight," he whispered.

The only response he got what was a rustle of the summer night's breeze.

Before his wife's death, Edward could never even fathom how much losing her would hurt. But it hurt. And it hurt like hell. He would never wish this pain onto anyone, not even the few people he hated.

He hadn't had enough time. The years, the months, the weeks, and the days they had spent together were not enough. He wanted to live out the life that he and she had dreamed of. He had wanted forever with Taylor.

It hadn't been enough, yet it had been everything

For the longest time his stare was unwavering as he gazed at the stone in front of him. He had no real thoughts during this period. Instead, he only felt consumed by a profound sense of loss and hurt…and somewhere in there distinct but real.

Finally, he blew out a slow breath and raised his head up to the sky, ignoring the couple tears that lingered on his face. The stars above him were still shining with a bright and innocent ferocity.

As he allowed his eyes to take in the sight above him, a sight many took for granted and too few admired, he saw a particularly bright star among the thousands in his view.

His lips turned upwards at the bright light.

Edward knew the stars were holding Taylor, and that she was dancing around up there somewhere. But the sight in front of him, the beautiful star that shined brighter than he others…he knew it was Taylor.

He stared up at the stars for a while. His neck stared to cramp, and his knees ache from the pressure, yet he was unmoving.

He couldn't get up.

Edward stayed in the cemetery for a long time. He watched the stars' brightness slowly begin to diminish, and eventually fade from view. He stared up at the sky until the light of dawn had painted over all the traces that remained of the night sky.

And when finally there were no more stars to view, he let out a deep breath. He, Bella and Molly would be leaving for her cabin in a couple hours. Bella was an early riser, and he didn't want her worrying about him for too long, so he knew he needed to get up.

Yet, his legs would not stand.

"I miss you sweetheart," he finally said quietly to the stone. He closed his eyes, and when he opened them, he began to stand.

"But I'm trying."

~O~

The drive up to the lake passed relatively quickly and without many issues. Molly sat strapped in her car seat in the back seat, content to watch Baby Einstein on the small screen overhead. Bella read a manuscript, one that Landon had summarized with great enthusiasm, and was quiet as she got wrapped into the story. Edward drove, not saying much except occasionally asking directions.

When they pulled into the driveway, it was midafternoon. The sun was shining down on the vast blue lake, making it sparkle in a way that always took Bella's breath away. Alice and Jasper were sitting on the deck which overlooked the 10 stairs that led down to the sandy beach and dock.

"Hey guys!" Alice waved, drink in one hand with a big smile.

Bella grinned. "Sup Loser?"

Alice rolled her eyes at the childish name that Bella indulged on.

"Lake temp is 78 degrees!" she told them. She and Jasper got off of their chairs and walked around the deck and down the stairs to where Edward had pulled the car.

"Have you been out yet?" Bella asked. Edward was working to unbuckle Molly out of her seat while Bella gathered her stuff.

Alice and Jasper shook their heads. "We just got here about an hour ago."

Edward emerged from the car with Molly sat on his arm. "And the first thing you did was pour a drink?" he asked with a smirk.

"Of course!" Alice affirmed, "Do you know nothing about the Swan family?"

Bella shook her head as everybody started to grab coolers, suitcases and Molly's stuff. "Alice, don't include me in your drunken shenanigans."

Alice huffed. "_My_ drunken shenanigans? I may be older, but you surpass me in the number of times you've woken up with a hang over."

Bella laughed.

It was somewhat of a running joke at the cabin. Alice and Bella usually didn't drink much, but when out of polite society, they were known to get a little tipsy by the lake.

Jasper hit Edward lightly on the arm. "Well why don't the ladies have a drink, and you and I go out and do some fishing?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "Sorry, Edward. He's been wanting to use that fishing boat for months."

"And you wouldn't go with him?" Bella asked.

Alice grinned. "I use to like fishing…then I discovered alcohol. Not much of a toss up, if you ask me."

Jasper rolled his eyes at his girlfriend.

Edward shrugged. "Sure. You okay with Molly?" he asked Bella.

In response, Bella playfully snatched the little one out of Edward's arms and tickled her. "We'll be fine."

Within ten minutes, Edward and Jasper were on the Swan's fishing boat, darting across the lake with the wind whipping through their hair in a thrilling way.

"Do you know where you're going?" Edward yelled as to be heard across the motor and wind.

"The girl's dad said the southern part of the lake!" He hollered back.

Edward rolled his eyes. They were on a huge lake with many different bays across the shoreline. "Southern" seemed a little vague. He was content to let Jasper have his fun, though.

Eventually two lines were cast into the water, and the two friends were reclining back on the chairs, enjoying the summer sun and lake life.

"You know, the middle of the afternoon is like the worst time to fish," Edward pointed out lazily.

Jasper smirked. "Bullshit. All the time is like the worst time to fish."

Edward glanced over at him. "I thought you liked fishing?!"

"Doesn't mean I'm good at it."

The darker haired man rolled his eyes. "How very resilient of you."

"That's what they tell me," Jasper grinned.

The men were silent as they reeled in their lines and cast out into the water once again. The summer sun beat down on their arms and tanned their faces.

"So do you and Alice have plans for the night?" Edward asked.

Jasper shrugged. "There's some 4th of July events going around in town, I think we might go and check it out. Do you guys want to come?"

"Nah," Edward replied, "Molly doesn't always sleep well in new places so I think it'll be best for me to stay with her."

Jasper nodded in understanding.

"When are you going to ask her?" Edward asked, not needing to clarify what he was speaking about. They had been dating for over three years, and everyone who knew them was waiting for a wedding invitation.

Jasper sighed. "You know bro, I'm not really sure."

"Do you have a ring?"

The blonde nodded.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Edward wondered.

Jasper shrugged and his friend saw his hesitance. "I was going to ask her a couple weeks ago on the Summer Solstice."

Edward raised his eyebrow. "Oh?"

Jasper gave him a slight grin. "Alice loves that kind of thing, myth and magic, you know. I was going to take her to Door County, where they have all kinds of festivals and old English traditions, like hopping across the fire and flowers in women's hair."

Edward grinned at the plan.

"Why didn't you go through with it?"

"We didn't go," Jasper said with a small, dismissive shrug.

"And why is that?"

Jasper stared out to the water. "The timing just wasn't right, you know."

Edward sighed, understanding. June 21st was only about a week after Taylor's funeral had taken place.

"You didn't propose because of what happened?"

"I'm your friend, man. I didn't want to put you in a place where you had to muster up happiness that I was getting a wife, and…"

"I lost mine," Edward finished.

"I'm sorry," Jasper offered.

Edward glanced over at him quizzically. "For what?"

"For what you're going through. It's not fair, and no one should have to do what you're doing. It sucks, huh?"

Edward sighed. "Yeah, it does."

The two men left one another to their thoughts as they continued to cast their lines without reeling any fish in. Jasper gave his friend worried glances out of the corner of his eye, but Edward's face reflected only a calm, resignation that took him by surprise.

Edward reeled in his line, and set the pole on the floor of the boat. He propped his feet up along the side and turned to Jasper, breaking the silence.

"You know, man, I think that what happened to Taylor should only make you want to propose even more."

Jasper looked at him silently.

"If you find someone that makes you happy, don't let them go if you don't have to."

Jasper considered Edward curiously, as if he wasn't sure what to make of his friend's demeanor.

"You're right," he agreed quietly

"Plus," Edward grinned, "Taylor would be so fucking pissed at you if she knew you were dragging your feet because of her. She loved Alice."

"Oh, I know she would be," Jasper chuckled, "She'd be freaking out at me."

Jasper reeled in his pole as Edward stretched out his arms.

"Can we be done with this manly shit now? Fishing really isn't that fun," Edward complained.

"But wasn't it a good testosterone boost?"

Edward snorted. "It was a good testosterone _killer_, as we didn't catch a fucking fish."

Jasper laughed, not disputing the statement. "Well then we have three girls back at the cabin who are eager for us to do the unpacking."

~O~

Bella came out of the bedroom, holding Molly under each of her armpits, and swinging her lazily around in front of her as she walked.

"Let's go!" she exclaimed, seeing Edward sit down in an old, worn, blue recliner, which was the most comfortable piece of furniture in the world.

"Where?" he asked, smirking at Molly's content expression.

"Down to the dock!"

He wasn't sure what exactly that pertained to.

"Why?"

"Because the sun's going to set," Bella explained with an excited smile.

"When?"

Bella sighed in exasperation. "Really? Are you just _trying_ to go through _The 4's W's and H_?"

Edward grinned. "For someone who is not at all forthcoming, you're not very patient."

She rolled her eyes. "Tell me something I don't know."

When Edward made a move to pick up the TV remote, Bella said, "Are you coming?"

"There's a baseball game!" he cried.

Bella raised her eyebrows and tilted her chin down, the look itself screaming _I'M JUDING YOU_! She gently jostled the little girl who was still hanging on her arms. "The sky's clear and Molly's going to witness her very first lake sunset."

"Oh alright," Edward sighed. He slowly got up from the extremely comfortable chair, which he was considering stealing.

"And they say your Daddy's not enthusiastic," Bella said in a sarcastic coo to Molly.

Edward rolled his eyes.

"The sunset?" he pressed.

"Lead the way!" Bella smiled.

As they walked across the grassy yard and down the ten steps to the beach, Edward couldn't help but notice Bella's attitude change. It was like being at the cabin had just relaxed her and the very sight of the lake such made her smile. He was glad, because when she was stressed, he always felt exceedingly guilty about it.

"Look!" Bella pointed, making Molly out to the horizon, "It's already starting to turn pink!"

"Pin!" she clapped happily, mangling the word "pink."

Edward smiled as they sat down on a bench at the end of the dock.

The brilliant shades of pink, yellow and orange were rapidly chasing away the last shades of blue from the beautiful summer day.

Molly settled herself on Bella's lap and leaned her back against her chest, acting oddly mature as she seemed content to stare at the pretty sky.

"It's so pretty," Bella breathed, and Edward wasn't even sure if she had been talking to him or herself.

"Yeah, it is," he agreed.

Other than that, no words were spoken as the three of them watched the sunset.

For some reason, the amazing colors made Edward reflect on his future, something he had not really had to do in a long time. Sure he had short term plans, enough to get through a few weeks. He had been taking it day by day, and as a result, and not really thought about the life he had in front of him. He was sure if he had subconsciously been pressing the thought away for some time.

He was only 28, and just by a couple weeks. Hell, he wasn't yet 30 and it felt like he was so much older.

What did it really mean now that Taylor was gone?

Molly was proof in every sense of the word that life goes on, and it would continue to do so until the day he died. Taylor and he had imagined the life Molly would have, and the amazing woman she would turn out to be. Now, however, he would be watching her grow up alone.

He tried to picture himself with Molly at various stages of her life, and it felt weird. It had never really occurred to him, that he was now a single dad. Having Bella around had made it so that he didn't need to feel or even act like a single parent.

Edward tried to plan out the next few months in his head. He would return to work next week, something that would be hard as fuck. He, however, hoped that eventually he would get into a routine. But with Bella eventually leaving, that would change everything.

A thought struck him. Would he ever date again? Get married? Have more kids?

The questions literally made his stomach clench. The idea sounded foreign and something he wasn't sure he would even consider, but being alone for the rest of his life sounded just as scary.

"It's like Taylor painted the sky, just for us."

Bella's soft, and almost shy words broke him out of his musings. He glanced at her and then back at the sunset and blinked in surprise. It seemed that during the time he had been staring and thinking, he hadn't really been thinking at all. The sky had lost its orange and yellow hues, but instead, the remaining pink swirling in with a light shade of purple.

"A purple sunset," Edward replied quietly, shaking his head to himself. Oh how Taylor had loved purple.

"It's beautiful," Bella whispered.

They watched the water turn purple, reflecting the last lights of day. They continued to watch until the dark blue of night crept over the horizon, making way for the moon and stars that would be appearing within minutes.

Bella looked down at her lap and smile softly when she saw that Molly had dozed off to sleep, her rosy lips puckered.

"We should probably get the little one to sleep," she suggested quietly. Edward looked over and noticed that his daughter was tired out from all the fun she being the center of attention with Alice and Jasper.

"I should probably be going to sleep too," he yawned. He reached over and carefully took Molly into his arms, where she stirred briefly, but he hushed her gently and she settled back into sleep.

They stood up from the bench and started walking off the dock.

"You were up early," Bella commented in a non accusatory way. It was more of an inviting way, giving him the opportunity to talk about it if he wanted.

Edward hadn't told her that he had been to Taylor's grave that morning, but she had been awake when he had arrived home.

"Yeah," he admitted, not looking at her as they climbed the stairs, "I was visiting-"

"I know."

Edward set up Molly's portable crib in the bedroom they were staying in while Bella successfully changed Molly into her pajamas without awaking the young girl. Needless to say, she was very proud of this and Edward was impressed as well.

Bella and Edward each took turns in the bathroom, having no qualms with calling it an early night. They changed into sleepwear, Edward deciding he should done a shirt for the evening. Bella was already settled into her bed with the lights low when Edward entered the room.

The cabin had two bedrooms, both large and slept five. Alice and Jasper got the one downstairs and Rose and Emmett got the downstairs living room of sorts. And while it wasn't exactly a bedroom, it had its own queen size bed for visitors.

The room Edward and Bella were in was upstairs and it was long and on the narrow side. There was a queen size bed on the right side with a bunk bed that had a full size bed on the bottom and a twin on the top. There was about 10 foot space between the beds that were parallel to each other. They had set up a portable crib and that space was where Molly was sleeping.

Bella had picked the bottom bunk and given Edward the queen bed where her parents slept while staying. It was creepy to her to sleep in the bed her parents did.

Edward wordlessly flipped off the light switch as he shut the door behind him. He peered over at Molly quick before getting into his bed, and settling under the blankets. The northern air was particularly chilly in the evening, something Bella adored.

Bella was dozing to sleep, but Edward lay awake on his back, thinking along the same line that he had been earlier on the dock.

"Bella?" he whispered, loud enough for her to hear if she was awake, but not loud enough to wake her.

"Yeah?" she mumbled, keeping her eyes closed and continuing to lay curled up on her side with her hands under the pillow.

He blew out a breath.

"Do you think Taylor's…you know…with us?"

"Yes Edward, she's with us every day," Bella replied sleepily, "Don't you know that just by looking at Molly's eyes?"

"But," Edward persisted quietly, "Do you think she's…watching us?"

"Yup," she replied without hesitation.

"How do you know?"

"You know those times when it is really quiet? It's really just you and your thoughts. And then, when I sometimes about Taylor, I feel the breeze against my skin…" Bella trailed off with a yawn.

Edward's ears strained to hear the words she mumbled into the darkness.

"And I know she's there."

* * *

_I remember the days we spent together,_  
_Were not enough, it used to feel like dreaming_  
_Except we always woke up,_  
_Never thought not having you here now_  
_Would hurt so much_

_Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up_  
_I need your loving hands to come and pick me up_  
_And every night I miss you_  
_I can just look up and know the stars are _  
_Holding you, holding you, holding you tonight_  
Tonight, FM Static

* * *

**AN:** This chapter song is absolutely one of my favorites, that's an instrumental inspiration to this story.

I'm with Edward on this: being at a lake/shore is the greatest thing you can do for your soul. There's just something about the water that is so indescribably peaceful.

I hope you all enjoyed this one...be sure to let me know! (:


	16. Fireworks

Fireworks.

In his life, the explosives had come to mean a lot.

The 4th of July had always been one of his favorite times of the year, having spent it on a lake like many other kids. It seemed the sun was always hotter, the lemonade sweeter and the relatives just a little bit drunker that time of year. Concluding the day with fireworks in the evening is something many ado.

He had proposed to his wife under the fireworks a few years ago. Her wide eyes had shined, reflecting the twinkling fireworks, and she had been so beautiful. His wife.

But fireworks, as he stared up at them now, really symbolized more now.

Instead of looking at the pretty colors, or his daughter's cries of delight, he couldn't help but focus on the explosion. That's what they really were. Explosions.

It's loud and chaotic, with booms and squeals coming out of the sky. But in the end, somehow, all of the mess produces beauty.

He didn't know how it was possible.

~O~

"SPF 100? Really?"

Alice examined the small bottle of sunscreen in front of her with apparent confusion. Bella rolled her eyes as she rubbed the white lotion on Molly's admittedly pale little body, as the young girl squirmed and looked around.

"Babies don't tan, Alice," she replied.

Alice, who was wearing a giant, floppy straw hat and huge sunglasses, protested. "Yeah, but come on, SPF _100_?"

Bella adjusted the strap of the little white sunhat Molly had on. The swimsuit she was wearing was absolutely adorable, and the picture taking had already begun.

"Just because we used SPF 8, and got our little as- _butts_ burnt, doesn't mean this kid needs to."

"Yeah, but I feel like we're better people because of it."

Bella just shook her head and picked the little girl up.

"And our chances of skin cancer seem just a little bit higher," she retorted.

Jasper walked over, and Alice snaked her arm around his waist as she grinned. "Living on the edge!"

"Whose living on the edge?" Edward asked, stepping out of the cabin in his swim trunks with Rosalie and Emmett trailing behind.

"Bella and I!" Alice laughed.

"Why is that?" Edward asked, raising an eyebrow at Bella.

"SPF 8," Bella replied with a shrug.

"Dangerous," he chuckled.

"We try," she grinned.

Alice seemed bored with the conversation, and antsy as ever to get down to the shining water. "Come on Jazz!" she exclaimed, hopping easily onto his back. Jasper rolled his eyes indulgingly and started walking over towards the stairs that led to the beach.

"Yup," Bella cooed to Molly, "She's always that crazy!" Molly grinned.

Emmett clapped his hands together loudly. He grinned evilly and looked over at Rosalie. "Let's hit the water, woman!"

"Woman?" Rosalie asked with a raised eyebrow.

In response, Emmett scooped her up bridal style in one fluent motion. "_My_ woman," he corrected.

"If you drop me, I swear to God," she threatened.

Emmett laughed as he followed Jasper and Alice. "I know; you'll cut it off. You'd miss it though."

Rose rolled her eyes, but otherwise didn't dispute the fact.

"Well Cullen," Bella said, "Seems like you need to be carrying your girl." She handed Molly over to Edward who giggled at her dad.

"Ready to hit the water, baby girl?" Edward asked, bouncing her in his arms.

"Ya!" Molly replied, clapping her hands together. Edward grinned at her and then over at Bella.

"Shall we?" she asked, gesturing over to the wooden stairs.

"We shall," he agreed.

All six adults watched Molly walk around in the shallow, sandy water, splashing and laughing in a delight so pure that every single one of them watched with a smile. When the small minnows came by her feet, she got so excited that she lost her balance and landed on her bum in the water, blinking in surprise at getting wet, even if she was only in a few inches of water.

Emmett recruited Edward and Jasper to somehow catch a small sunfish, knowing Molly would be ecstatic. So as Molly splashed around, Alice, Bella and Rose watched the men try and dive for the small fish that were darting around the shallows. With their hands. Bella laughed so hard as Emmett essentially belly flopped into the water and popped up without a fish in hand.

"Just you wait, kid," he promised Molly who seemed much more interested in the shells that were in the sand.

"I suppose I can go get them a net," Alice laughed, pushing herself off of the sand and making her way over to the fishing boat.

"Take your time!" Rose called. Alice gave her a thumbs up in response.

Rose and Bella reclined on their elbows, watching the amusing scene in front of them continue to play out. Emmett kept just throwing his whole body in, while Edward scooped at some irritably and Jasper complained about Emmett and "his large ass" scaring them all away.

"How are the final wedding plans coming along?" Bella asked the blonde.

Rose grinned. "Everything is coming into place. I have my final dress fitting in a couple weeks, and I'm also dragging Emmett to dance classes that start next Tuesday."

Bella giggled, "That should strengthen his character."

"That's what I'm hoping for. He's actually oddly excited about it."

Bella rolled her eyes, "Of course he is."

"Molly's flower girl dress should be arriving as well," Rose added, smiling over at Molly who was sitting in the sand patting at the water.

"She should be walking really well by the time it comes for her to walk down the aisle."

Bella glanced over at Rosalie when she didn't reply. Rose was biting at her lip and was making an odd, hesitant face.

"Well…speaking of down the aisle…." She trailed off and took a shallow breath. "I was wondering if you would be my bridesmaid, Bella?"

Bella gapped at her.

Rosalie and Emmett had agreed on the number three. There would be three bridesmaids, including the maid of honor, and three groomsmen including his best man. Emmett picked Edward, his buddy Paul, and Rose's brother Royce. The three Rose has chosen were her sister Joy who lived in London, England, and her cousin Annie who also live out of state, but only in Chicago and the third had been Taylor, her sister-in-law.

Rose sighed. "I know that the circumstances are difficult for everyone, and I will understand and respect what you decide."

Bella finally shut her mouth and swallowed. "Why me?"

Rose gave her a tiny smile. "You're an awesome friend Bella, and I would have asked you initially but we agreed on three. You're the reason Emmett and I met."

After the acknowledgment that Bella and Emmett would not date, Bella immediately thought of her college roommate and knockout Rosalie Hale. Bella had been single and Taylor had been busy, so Edward was Bella's fill-in date/Emmett's wingman on the night where the two met. They were fondly dubbed the babysitters for the evening.

The four of them went on a golf scramble date followed by drinks and dinner. Rosalie was proud of her ability to golf, and golf well. Bella and her had both played in high school and admired the other for that. Emmett and Edward were men, so naturally all they had to do was swing the shit out of it, and it would be great.

Halfway through the round, Edward and Bella were in a comfortable lead, but realized that the people they were setting up were very competitive and would not be happy with one another if they lost. So Edward and Bella had shanked some in the water, and the woods, and across a road for good measure.

And the rest was history.

"You know I hit that ball across the road for you," Bella grinned.

Rose laughed. "I did know that actually. You're such a true friend."

Bella was unsure on how she felt about taking Taylor's place in the bridal party. It seemed like a lot and it was a little overwhelming.

Rose seemed to know what was going through Bella's hand as she watched her. "You know, I talked to my parents, and my sister and cousin and then Emmett, and we all thought that you would be a good choice."

Bella glanced over at the water and her eyes landed on the bronze head that was bent over the surface, searching for an aquatic creature to catch. Edward didn't seem aware that her eyes were on him.

"I worry about him," Bella admitted.

Rose sighed. "We all do."

Edward leaned into the water, carefully moving his arms with a look of concentration on his face. The two women watched as he pulled his hands out of the water and opened them, revealing nothing.

"He worries about you too, you know."

Bella shrugged.

"That's the life we've found ourselves in."

Rose gave her a sympathetic look. "Sometimes it is what it is."

"And _it_ sucks."

Rose nodded, raising her drink in the air. "I heard dat, sista."

Bella lifted her own drink in solute. They each took a generous amount of alcohol out of their glasses.

"Will you at least think about it?" she asked, referring back to the bridesmaid duty.

Bella let out a breath as she looked over at Molly who giggling as some small waves washed up and splashed her.

"I'll do it."

Rose met her eyes with a wide smile. "Are you sure?"

Bella gave a slow nod.

Instead of reacting as happily as one would have under the regular circumstances of asking a friend to be a bridesmaid, Rose just gave her a grin.

"Thank you, a lot."

Bella just gave her a nod and a smile, wondering what the hell she had just agreed to and what it exactly entailed.

"What do you think about attaching a small picture frame of Taylor onto either yours or my bouquet?" Rose wondered quietly.

Bella smiled over at her.

"I think that would be a great idea, Rose."

They smiled at each other and a lot of words passed between them unspoken, but understood.

"Speaking of great ideas," Rose pointed over to where there were now four people in the water. Edward was still doing his own thing, Jasper had the net that Alice had found, and Alice was by him, peering into the water. It was Emmett, however, that she was pointing at.

Emmett was creeping up behind Alice cautiously. He had a malicious grin on his face as he crept stealthily in the water behind the two.

"This won't be good."

"Think I should stop him?" Rose whispered.

Bella smirked. "Nah."

They watched with admitted fascination as Emmett reached over to Alice's back, her still completely unaware. Bella's mouth fell open as Emmett pulled at Alice's bikini tie until it entirely untied.

Alice gasped and her hands went up to cover her chest, where she had just unintentionally flashed a few people.

"EMMETT!"

She whirled around in the water to face Emmett who was doubled over, laughing at the murderous look of rage of Alice's face.

"Come at me, tiny!" he laughed, patting at his chest.

"Asshole!" she screeched furiously as she scrambled to tie the back of her swimsuit together once again.

Emmett continued to laugh, falling back into the water as he did so. "I've been called worse!"

"Jasper!" Alice snapped, turning her back to her boyfriend. "Tie this so that I can kill him!"

Bella and Rosalie continued to laugh as they watched Jasper fumble with the strings. Edward was looking around in confusion, but when he saw Alice's state of dishevel, and Emmett's amusement, he figured it out pretty quickly.

"This is the dick you want to marry?" Alice asked Rose accusingly.

Rose smirked.

"Are we talking about the actual dic-"

Alice interrupted her, face scrunched up in disgust.

"Eww."

"Well the answer is yes either way," she grinned suggestively.

"Eww." This time it was echoed by Bella, Jasper and Edward as well as Alice.

Alice gave her a raised eyebrow and then shook her head, muttering to herself in incredulous shock. "They're fucking perfect for each other."

"You know, just give me the net," Edward demanded, wading through the water and snatching the net from Jasper's grasp. "Amateurs," he shook his head.

It took Edward about two minutes to catch a small sunfish in the net. As predicted, Molly was ecstatic. Everyone watched with a smile as Molly cried in delight as she poked at the flopping fish in her dad's hands.

"I'll catch you an even bigger one, kid," Emmett promised, getting the net away from Edward and going back into the water on a hunt for a more impressive fish for his niece.

No one seemed to notice that Alice had drifted away from the crowd. Bella caught sight of her a few minutes later, climbing on top of the awning that covered the boat lift. Bella bit her tongue not to laugh as she saw the look of revenge on her face.

For five minutes Alice lay on her stomach, undetected on the awning. She stalked her prey as he wandered around the water, totally oblivious. When Emmett started inching his way over in the direction of the boat lift, Alice scooted closer to the edge.

Suddenly, with no one but Bella seeing it coming, Alice was flying through the air silently.

Alice landed on the huge mass that is Emmett.

"AHHHHH!"

Emmett freaked the fuck out.

The look of absolute shock and terror as Alice jumped on to him from out of nowhere was absolutely priceless.

Emmett's whole body fell down into the water, Alice still on his back. His eyes were wide and his mouth hanging open as he panted from the small heart attack he had just had.

"Holy shit!" he yelled. "Holy fucking shit!"

At this point, everyone else was doubled over in laughter. Bella was hunched over into the sand, her abs clenching and tears leaking from her eyes as she laughed harder than ever before. Jasper was sitting in the water, howling with laughter as Rose was laughing so hard that no sound was coming out and she was just clapping like a seal.

It was the rich laugh that rang across the water, however, that really caught Bella's attention.

Edward, who had been standing in the water, was doubled over with his hands on his legs, laughing harder than Jasper. And it was a real, gut clenching, belly laugh that everyone needed once in a while.

"I think I just shit myself," Emmett wheezed as Alice finally released herself from him, laughing.

Alice held up a hand, the other one of her stomach as she tried to control her laughing. "Don't mess with me, punk."

"I untied your swimsuit…you attacked me!"

"Retaliation is a bitch, Emmett," she just laughed.

"Little shit," he muttered.

Everyone else continued to laugh, or rather try to control said laughter, while Molly watched on curiously.

"Da!" she exclaimed, clapping as she looked in Edward's direction.

Jasper who was sitting in the water a few feet away from her slowly stopped laughing and grinned over at the little girl.

"That's right, kid; your Daddy's got his laugh back."

~O~

"Someone's phones a buzzing!" Jasper called from inside the cabin where he had gone to get drinks.

Everyone else was sitting down to a picnic table, ready to dig into cheeseburgers, hotdogs, pasta salads, chips, fruit and several chocolaty desserts.

"Well whose is it?" Edward yelled back. Molly was seated in between Bella and mnhim at the end of one table, in her high chair. They were tag teaming and cutting up the food she could eat into little pieces before going to fill their own plate.

"iPhone!" he hollered back, the sound traveling through the screen door.

"Mine!" Alice and Bella both called back.

Jasper emerged from the cabin with a couple beers, soda and a cell phone. He set a Pepsi and iPhone in front of Bella.

"Sorry babe, looks like your sis is more popular," Jasper apologized, swinging his leg over the bench and sitting next to Alice.

"Maybe because she doesn't fly onto people's backs…" Emmett muttered bitterly as he loaded his plate with food.

Alice grinned. "Don't be bitter, reconsider!"

"Really?" Bella asked, "We're quoting our high school Algebra teacher now?"

"The man was a genius."

"You got a C in his class."

"And at the time, did not appreciate said genius!"

Bella rolled her eyes and unlocked the screen of her phone. She read the text, let out a frustrated huff, shook her head and dropped the phone back onto the table.

"Everything okay?" Edward asked before taking a large bite into his burger.

Bella shrugged. "Yeah, just work stuff. Landon's reading one of Russell Linberg's new manuscripts and apparently it really sucks."

"Russell Linberg?" Jasper exclaimed excitedly, "Holy shi-…shoot, I didn't know you were his publisher! Think you can get me a signed copy of the next book?"

Bella smirked a little bit. "If we publish it."

"Whose Landon?" Rose wondered as she ate.

"My summer intern," Bella replied, swallowing her bite of watermelon first.

Alice interjected. "And that boy is _fine_."

Rosalie rounded on Bella, wholly interested. "Is that so?"

"You could say that." Bella gave a small grin. "Macalester grad, dean's list, played for their golf team, greyish eyes, muscle, tan, and called me ma'am."

Emmett snorted. "Macalester? The Midwest's version of Harvard."

"Right?" Edward said.

"Whatever ivy league snobs," Rose dismissed. "He sounds like a keeper. You should go for him Bella."

Bella laughed, feeling a little uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation. "I don't know, Rose. We'll see."

Rose leaned around Emmett to look at Edward. "Have you met him, Edward?"

Edward shrugged. "Once, yeah."

"And?" she prompted.

"He called me Mr. Cullen," he told her.

Emmett laughed loudly. "Douche."

"That's what I thought," Edward agreed.

Rose rolled her eyes and seemed to have a different impression on this information. "Oh he's formal! That's so professional and cute."

Bella continued to eat, shaking her head at the blonde. Jasper looked over at Edward and Emmett from his side of the table and mouthed, "_Cute_?"

The other two boys snickered.

"Saw that Whitlock," Rose muttered as she ate bowtie salad.

The six of them finished their 4th of July feast, eating until no of them could literally eat another bite. Emmett had three cheeseburgers and a hotdog all by himself, and even Alice and Bella had one of each. The Swan girls liked their food, and that was that.

"Fireworks are in about an hour," Alice announced after they finally came out of their food induced comas. Everyone began starting to clear away the table and take the dishes inside.

"What do you say to a sunset cruise?" Rose asked as she tossed the empty bottles into the recycling.

"That sounds nice," Bella agreed. "We can just go find the fireworks after."

Every year one of the residents of the lake collected donations from everyone who had cabins or lived on the lake and then used the money to purchase many spectacular fireworks which they would set off over the water.

"I'll get the wine," Jasper volunteered.

"Grab me a sweatshirt, please!" Alice called sweetly after.

Bella rolled her eyes at her older sister.

Edward was getting Molly out of her high chair and settling her against his chest, where the tired little girl laid her down.

"You know, I think Molly and I will sit this one out and watch the fireworks on the deck," he told Bella quietly.

Bella stopped what she was doing and turned to look the two of them over. It must have been a long day for Edward, especially seeing the two couples so blatantly in love. The 4th of July was something that they had always celebrated with Taylor, and her absence was felt.

"That sounds like a good idea," she said.

"You don't mind?" he asked.

Bella shook her head and smiled. "I think some Daddy-Molly time never hurt anyone after a long, busy day."

Edward smiled, kissing the top of Molly's head.

"Thank you for today, by the way."

Bella looked at him funnily. "For what?"

"For being there, like you always are. Sometimes that's all a person needs."

* * *

_Do you ever feel like a plastic bag,_  
_Drifting through the wind_  
_Wanting to start again?_  
_Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin_  
_Like a house of cards,_  
_One blow from caving in?_

_Do you ever feel already buried deep?_  
_6 feet under screams but no one seems to hear a thing_  
_Do you know that there's still a chance for you_  
_'Cause there's a spark in you_  
_You just gotta ignite the light, and let it shine_  
Firework, *Boyce Avenue

_*It is Katy Perry's song, but that version is way too crazy upbeat. Boyce Avenue's cover is soft and utterly beautiful. (Link on my Twitter)_

* * *

**AN:** "Your Daddy's got his laugh back." One of my favorite sentences thus far! (: This chapter was sort of a turning point for their summer as it's going to get less angsty...however, Edward does go back to work next chapter, so we'll have to see how that goes!

Hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving and a safe Black Friday! (I slept in :)


	17. Detours

Detours.

They slow you down and fuck you up, because in taking a detour, you're straying off the path and don't really know what to expect; if you're familiar with the road you were on, it leaves you especially messed up.

He didn't really hate detours any more than the next person. Sure, they annoyed him, and sometimes made him late, but for the most part, he didn't get too angry about them.

But what no one ever really thinks about are the detours we take in life.

Detours will take you off of the road you're going, whether you want them to or not. It'll take some time to get back on the road you had been on, or sometimes, you won't even go back to that road, and rather start down a new path with a new destination.

These detours are rarely expected or planned for, so when you're at a detour in life, you just gotta figure it out, and even if you don't, you have to keep moving.

~O~

Edward stood in front of the mirror in his bedroom, staring at himself as he adjusted his tie slowly.

The suit and tie he was wearing was impeccable. It was grey, as he preferred, with a white dress shirt and a deep purple tie, just a little reminder of Taylor with him. He had his hair gelled back, or rather his hair had been attempted to be gelled back, but it didn't always quite work. His shoes were black and shiny and he was for all intents and purposes, ready to go.

Yet, he continued to adjust his tie.

Edward knew that by leaving the bedroom, he would have to truly start the day and a new routine for the coming months. And he didn't know if he was ready for it.

Carlisle had agreed that Edward could come back, but was insisting that he start with only four days a week, and take Fridays off to spend with Molly. So Edward only had to make it through three days before he would have the weekend.

He wanted to groan at the thought. Already he was back to counting down towards the weekends. It was an absence that he had not missed in the time he had been away from the firm.

Edward finally dropped his hands from his tie, letting out a sigh. He ran his hand through his hair, trying to get it back just a little better. When that proved impossible, he let his arm fall so he could check his wrist watch. 7:31. Shit.

Knowing he had somewhere to be and that he had wasted a lot of time, Edward moved with more haste. He grabbed his briefcase from where it had been resting on his bed, and made his way out of the bedroom and down the stairs. Bella was in the kitchen with Molly, already dressed for work herself and helping get a tired Molly fed.

"You sure you don't mind taking her to day care?" Edward asked as he rushed to pour coffee into his traveling mug.

Bella smiled and shook her head. "Not at all. I don't start until 8:30 anyways so it would be ridiculous for you to worry about it."

"Thank you," he said sincerely.

"Don't mention it," she replied. She noticed that he looked stressed, worried and nervous and she felt empathy towards him.

"It'll be okay, Edward. It might not be amazing, but it'll be okay."

Edward gave a terse nod as he set the coffee pot back into place.

"Do you want me to bring you lunch or something?" she asked, almost hesitantly.

Edward leaned in and kissed the top of Molly's soft head. "Love you, baby girl," he told her quietly.

Bella was looking at him questioningly when he stood back up. "I'll be fine, don't worry."

_I will worry_, she thought to herself, _I'll probably worry about you all day_.

"Well, good luck," she forced a smile, trying to look cheerful.

"I'll need it," he replied as he headed towards the front door. Bella noted that he had a jitteriness to his walk that was unsettling.

"Don't forget there's road construction down on 94! You may have to take a detour," she called after him. He didn't respond, so she wasn't sure if he had heard her or not.

Edward drove faster than he should have, and in the back of his mind he knew that. His wife had died in a fucking car accident and he was still weary of getting in a car. Hell, he couldn't even go on the road that Taylor had gotten hit on. But today he was too nervous, and he needed something to control, and he chose his car.

Of course, he was also driving fast because he really would prefer not to be late.

But the fast driving didn't last all that long. Just as Bella had warned, there was construction, (or "_confucktion_" as Emmett called it) happening on the main highway and traffic was backed up. Edward cursed as he saw the detour signs and people following them.

Yup. He'd definitely be late.

So for an extra 10 minutes that he had not planned on, he strummed his fingers on the steering wheel a lot and tapped his left foot anxiously. Eventually, however, he was able to get through the fucking detour and keep going on his way. He pulled into the parking ramp at 8:02 and arrived on the 18th floor where his office was located, at 8:09.

Even though he had been in the office only a little over a week ago with Molly, people stared at him like he had dyed his hair pink, grown an extra nose and got his eyebrow pierced. All at the same time.

People whispered as he made his way past the associates in their wide spread area of cubicles. He saw Emmett's desk, but it was momentarily empty.

"Alright children, play time's over, stop staring and get back to work. Nothing to see here except where you _won't_ be, because you don't do your work."

Edward turned to his right to see his assistant Lily coming out of the break room and eyeing the associates critically as they scrambled to do what she said.

He raised his eyebrow at the redhead. "Nicely done."

Lily shrugged and grinned, "Always a highlight of my day to scold the associates."

They walked down the hallway, and Edward felt better with her next to him, no matter how stupid and weak that made him. People didn't mess with Lily, and even though Edward rarely had any trouble, Lily never had any. And as they walked to his office, no one said a word and the stares were discreet and brief.

When Edward slipped through the glass doors of his office, he let out a breath of relief. It felt like home in the wide open room, which displayed all of his academic pride and various important nick knacks. He sat down in the wheelie leather chair behind his desk, and let his back sink against it.

Lily came back through the door, having grabbed some things from her desk while he stepped in.

"Alright, stop me if you have any questions," she warned. Edward raised his eyebrows but nodded.

Lily began to lay down call strips of paper on his desk which were marked with different color post its. "These are all of the calls from clients that you are going to need to return in the next couple days. You start with the red being the most important and work your way down the rainbow after that."

"Work my way down the rainbow?" he asked teasingly.

Lily rolled her eyes.

"How very leprechaun of me," he added with a smirk.

"Anyway," she continued, "All emails that have been sent to you have been sent an out of office automatic reply, and Emmett and I have been replying to the ones that need attention. Your father's been helping as well. Oh that reminds me! Carlisle and Emmett will be in your office at about 9 o'clock to help you get caught up and fill you in on some things."

"Do I have any meetings?" he asked as his laptop turned on.

"Let's see, it is Tuesday….so, no you don't have anything until Thursday. Mr. Wilson has been wanting to meet with you for weeks and is getting tired of the circumnavigating."

"That's it?" he wondered, extremely pleased.

Lily saw his look and smile warmly. "For the week, yes."

"Thanks, Lily," he said with a small grateful smile towards her.

"Not a problem, Mr. Cullen," she replied, her eyes twinkling as she said his surname which he asked her not to use.

"Get out," he said with a smile, shaking his head.

Lily grinned and turned to leave the office. At the threshold, she turned back. "Oh, and you had dozens of flower deliveries. I've sent thank you notes to everyone for you. I have a list of everyone who sent them, if you'd like to see it as well."

"Thanks, email it to me later," he told her as he began to click on his laptop.

Edward was actually enjoying the feel of working for about 15 minutes before the tentative good mood he had was ruined.

Mr. Watson, the other founding partner of Watson Cullen, showed up just a quarter of an hour after Edward had started. None of the Cullen men particularly enjoyed Watson, but Carlisle was by far the most tolerating.

So when Watson entered the office, Edward was already annoyed. Lily must have gone to make copies, or the bathroom or something, because he got in with no problem.

"What can I do for you, Marcus?" Edward asked politely after he nodded at the man.

Watson, an older grey hair man with a bit of a belly, smiled back in that condescending way that made Edward want to punch him. "Oh nothing you can do for me, Edward. I just wanted to come and personally welcome you back."

"Thank you," Edward replied, clenching his jaw.

"The funeral service was quite lovely, by the way. I'm glad I was able to attend." Edward was annoyed that he said this in a matter which suggested Edward should be humbled that he had attended.

"Yes it was," Edward agreed, "thank you."

"Was the past month sufficient time to get affairs and such in order?" he inquired. Edward refrained from narrowing his eyes at the words and the tone that laced them.

"Sufficient enough," he answered, clipped.

Marcus grinned. "Tacked on the 4th of July week as well, huh?"

_Oh fuck no_.

"You're insinuating what exactly?"

"Nothing, I assure you," Watson placated, "Merely observing in quite an irrelevant manner."

"Ah," Edward nodded, "I see."

Watson was about to speak but Edward held up his hand and stood up from his desk. He braced his hands on his desk and leaned forward to look the higher ranking partner in the eye, unwavering.

"Next time you merely observe in quite an irrelevant manner that the time away from work I took after the death of my wife came anywhere close to being some type of vacation, I'd ask you reconsider, because you'll find I'm not in the mood for your bullshit nor will I ever be."

Watson seemed threatened for a moment, which had been precisely Edward's intent. But when the man broke into a fake smile, Edward's short lived triumph was ruined.

"Of course, Edward, I would never imply that. I'm sorry you took it that way." Watson straightened his tie and nodded, "Have a good day."

After Watson had left his office, Edward sat back down in his chair and seethed. Even his apology hadn't really been an apology. What a fucking asshole. Edward just shook his head as he tried to clear his head and go back to responding to emails.

Lily slid into the office with a file. "Do think Watson tries to be an asshole? Or is he just naturally gifted?" she wondered as she set the file on his desk.

"Oh it's natural," he replied angrily, "How'd you hear that?"

"Intercom was on," she replied innocently.

"How long until I can go home?" he wondered with a loud groan.

"Hang in there boss, I won't let anyone in here. Watson probably waited till I had to make a copy…bastard."

"Yeah, the second name of a lawyer," he responded dryly.

"Don't I know it!" she exclaimed before walking back out to her desk. Edward rolled his eyes.

Two hours later, Edward had to wonder if he was getting his first migraine. Marcus's words still rang through his ears, angering him whenever he thought about it. His dad and brother had come into his office and the three of them spent over an hour and a half discussing all of Edward's cases and clients. The two had done an admiral job, but the fact of the matter was that it was Edward's job.

And he wasn't particularly fond of his job at the moment.

Two of his cases had hit the wall, and Edward was in a corner. One of his clients, Fuller Construction was about to go bankrupt, another had gone bankrupt, and the case the Cullen men had been making to defend a major engineering company, was quickly crumbling.

And it wasn't even noon.

Edward worked furiously for the next few hours. He tried to catch up on all of the emails that demanded his attention while simultaneously responding to all of the phone messages, but had yet to make it through the reds. He also contacted the company he was defending and when he discovered how unhappy they were, had to spend nearly an hour placating them.

Lunch for him ended up being two Advil's and a shot of water.

"Lily," Edward snapped into his desk phone, "Where are the files for Fuller Construction?"

"Emmett has them, I believe. Would you like me to contact him?"

"Have his ass get them to me within five minutes," Edward retorted before hanging up the phone.

Edward leaned back in his chair and ran his hands through his hair before dropping them to rest over his eyes. His stress level had just increased to new, dangerous heights.

Emmett entered his brother's office a few minutes later, appearing relaxed as he casually dropped the two files onto Edward's desk.

"You wanted my ass?" Emmett joked, eyeing his brother.

Edward sighed. "I want my ass out of this office, but it's not really the same thing I suppose."

Emmett shrugged. "Just leave then, bro. This job is stressful as hell, and you haven't exactly come back to the best news."

"If I leave," Edward argued, "I'll just come back to worse news in the morning. I gotta deal with this shit eventually."

Emmett gave a resigned look of agreement. "I am really sorry about the Fuller case, man. Dad and I tried, but sometimes shit just happens."

Edward shook his head as he picked up the files. "It just doesn't make sense, how they could just lose everything and do nothing to stop it."

"Like I said, shit happens."

"Yeah," Edward muttered in distracted agreement as something he read in the file caught his eye. "Yeah, I guess."

"I gotta run and get those driver's logs for dad, so I'll talk to you later," Emmett said as he turned to leave the office.

"Emmett!" Edward called just before he slipped out, "What driver's logs?"

"Oh fuck," Emmett cursed.

Edward raised an eyebrow.

"Taylor's case," the elder Cullen explained with clear reluctance, "Didn't dad tell you we were going after the trucking company?"

Edward rubbed his face tiredly. "Yeah, he did a couple weeks ago when he was at my house. What about these driver's logs?"

Emmett hesitated, but gave in. "We're just seeing if the company has been violating an hours of service rule. We've been trying to get information from some of the on-board devices which were on the truck at the time. Look man, you'll have to have to ask dad or Watson."

"Watson?" Edward asked furiously.

"Dad and Watson are handling the case," Emmett replied.

"Fuck no."

Edward pushed away from his desk and stood up from his chair. There was no way that asshole was going to have anything to do with this case. No fucking way. Edward didn't trust him or like for that matter, and knew he could do a better job in his sleep than whatever that bastard could.

Emmett pushed against Edward's chest to stop him from storming out of the office. "Dad left for a meeting already and he's going home after."

"Well then I'll go to the fucking house," Edward snapped.

"No," Emmett said firmly, "You're going to go and pick up your kid. And dammit you're going to watch Blues fucking Clues with her. And tomorrow when you come back here, we'll handle this shit. Got it?"

Edward scratched at his head before letting his arm drop in defeat and nodding.

Emmett looked at his brother sympathetically. "I know this isn't easy man, but you can leave in a couple hours. Just find a way to get to quittin' time. And then we'll all sing _Closing Time_ by Semisonic. Alright?"

Edward cracked a grin. "Whatever, Em."

Emmett patted Edward's shoulder and smirked a little bit as he left the office, singing, "_Closing time, one last call for alcohol so finish your whiskey and brine_…."

"What the hell is brine!?" Edward called after him.

Emmett shrugged. "No fucking clue bro, just feeling the music." And he proceeded to drift off, singing the incorrect lyrics.

By the time Edward sat back down at his desk and resumed reading the file he had discarded, he remembered his massive headache.

Just get to closing time.

~O~

Edward didn't get home until 8 o'clock that evening.

He was pissed and tired as hell.

After reviewing the Fuller case for nearly an hour, while continuing to try and respond to all of the phone messages, he was at a loss. Fuller Construction had been flourishing. Edward had gotten a lot of credit for bringing such a major company to the firm. And now shit was hitting the fan and he didn't know why.

So he proceeded to spend the rest of his afternoon trying to track down the financials of the company, and after that, records of the employees. The money was gone and it didn't fucking make sense.

For a little bit, it had felt damn good. One of the things he loved about practicing law was the thrill you got as you tried to solve a problem. Edward had always welcomed a challenge, and he allowed himself to get roped into it.

It was when he finally exited his email at the end of the day that he had problems. His screensaver was left untouched from the month he had been away from work.

The big blue eyes of Taylor and Molly sparkled back at him from the monitor. His girls. He had taken the picture only a couple weeks before the accident, when they had gone out to the backyard on a sunny spring day. Taylor had her arms wrapped completely around Molly who was curled against her mom and they were both giggling when he had snapped the picture. As he stared at it, he could hear the echo of Taylor's laugh mixing in with Molly's giggles.

He stared at the picture for a long time.

Taylor had just gotten new mascara that day, he recalled. She had wanted to try it out, and when she had, Edward had been stunned. Somehow, the make-up made her eyes shine with a light that seemed larger than life. She looked so pretty.

"So damn pretty," he whispered to himself.

Edward could hear Taylor, talking to Molly in the voice she reserved especially for children and their daughter. She had gotten the little girl giggling for no real reason at all. He remembered what she had said, and could hear her voice like she was right next to him.

"Sweetie pie, I hope you've figured out that your daddy likes taking pictures of you," Taylor laughed as Edward had brought the camera really close to Molly in an effort to capture her soft, delicate skin.

Molly giggled obliviously as Edward had made a funny face at her. "And when you are a teenager and hate your mother," Taylor giggled, "I'll be sure to show you the naked pictures he has of you sleeping as a baby. That should help turn the tides."

Edward rolled his eyes as he took the picture that was now on his computer. "She'll never hate you, Tay. It's not possible."

Absentmindedly, Edward wiped at the couple of tears that had somehow slipped out of his eyes as he thought back to that day.

By the time he got out of the office, it was already 7, and by the time he got through all the god forsaken traffic, roadwork and detours, it was 8. He hadn't eaten for over 12 hours and he felt an odd and hardly masculine urge to cry.

When he entered the house, a delicious scent of greasy food which he couldn't quite place, tickled his nose. It made his knees weak. He stepped into the kitchen, and found Bella at the counter on her laptop. She was wearing black leggings and a baggy college t-shirt that somehow fit her well.

"Shitty day?" she asked, seeing the look on his face.

"It defined 'shitty day,' actually," he told her, still looking for the food.

Bella closed her computer and passed him over to the oven. She pulled it open with a grin, "I figured it would be. Chinese takeout should make it better."

Edward eyed the food with such hunger that he might have actually drooled. Bella began moving the food that she had picked up a while ago and kept heated. "Why don't you go get out of the suit and I'll bring you food up. It'll be like a picnic," she said with just a hint of sarcasm to inform him that she was mentally rolling her eyes at herself.

"Sweats and Chinese," he smirked, "Next you're going to tell me that Molly's already asleep too."

Bella grinned with a hint of triumph. "Tired little thing crashed about ten minutes ago actually."

"God bless you," he muttered as he made his way up the stairs.

Edward shed his formal clothes, threw on a pair of athletic shorts and a t-shirt before opening his door and flopping down on his bed. Bella entered the room with the various takeout foods, a bottle of wine with two glasses, some plates, forks and napkins which she placed on the bed. She then proceeded to sprawl on the foot of the bed and attack the Sesames chicken voraciously.

"Was it really that bad?" she asked after swallowing her 5th bite.

Edward, who was much more reasonable with food in his stomach, shrugged. "No worse than I expected, I suppose."

"It's weird isn't it?" she asked, leaning over and grabbing an egg roll.

"Yeah, it feels…wrong somehow, to be working," he agreed as he ate his own chicken, "Like it feels too soon, but I don't know what else I'm supposed to do."

Bella shrugged. "I guess this is what we're supposed to be doing."

Edward chewed thoughtfully before swallowing. "Guess so."

"Why do we have such demanding jobs?" she wondered rhetorically.

"Hell if I knew," he replied. "You'll never guess what an ass at work said to me today."

"Uh-oh," Bella said. Edward went on to quote his conversation with Marcus fucking Watson, and saw her face morph into the outrage that he had felt.

"Bastard!" she exclaimed. "That's worse than what the 17th floor secretary told me."

"What'd she say?" he wondered curiously as he continued to eat.

"Oh you know, she said something along the lines about how _nice_ it was to be the manager so that I could get vacation days to mourn for a friend," Bella told him with a bitter anger that somewhat frightened him.

"Bitch," he said, shaking his head.

"And that's along the lines of what I said," Bella smirked.

"Is she ugly?" he asked, hinting at a grin.

"Tremendously."

They continued their rants about work and life which eventually turned into talks about Molly, Taylor and how much they missed her. Eventually the Chinese food was discarded from the bed, and yet they continued to lounge and drink wine together.

Over the course of the evening, their spots on the bed continued to move and adjust. Towards the end of the evening when all of the wine had been consumed, they found themselves lying with their heads propped on the pillows and their sides touching.

"I'm really tired of feeling so sad all the time," Bella whispered quietly.

Edward wrapped the arm closest to her around her shoulders and pulled her close to him, so that she was resting her head on his shoulder. He leaned in and rested his face against her head.

"I'm really tired of it too," he whispered.

Bella closed her eyes, and even though she was slightly drunk and would leave the bed in a few minutes after Edward drifted to sleep, she felt safe.

"But I think that we can somehow be happy again."

"I think so too."

* * *

_These times will try hard to define me_  
_And I'll try to hold my head up high_  
_But I've seen despair here from the inside_  
_And it's got a one track mind_

_And I know there's someone out there somewhere_  
_Who has it much worse than I do_  
_But I have a dream inside, a perfect life_  
_I'd give anything just to work_  
_It's like I'm only trying to dig my way out_  
_Of all these things I can't_

_These times will try hard to define me_  
_But I will hold my head up high_  
_And I know there's a reason_  
_I just keep hoping it won't be long 'til I see it_  
_And maybe if we throw up our hands and believe it_  
_I'm telling you these times are hard_  
_But they will pass_  
These Times, Safetysuit

_*Every lyric in the song is perfect for the chapter. Incredible song._

* * *

**AN:** Sorry this chapter is later than expected, it honestly just slipped my mind! (lame excuse, but oddly the truth.) It's a busy season and if anyone wants to do my holiday shopping, hit me up!

I, for one, am pretty proud of our boy(: Edward handled the day much better than expected. And, as they said, I think they can be happy again too.

Thanks for your reviews! I appreciate all of them so much! Think we'll get to 1,000 with this one? (;


	18. Taking Charge

Taking Charge.

By saying that you're taking charge, you're saying that you're willing to fight back. You're saying that it's my time to make my own rules and live my own damn life.

It was hard to take charge sometimes though.

There are some things that cannot be controlled no matter how much one tried. Things can be completely out of your control, like the events that had led to his wife's death.

It left him shattered and weak, but he knew that it was time to take back control of his own life, no matter how.

He didn't know how he was supposed to take charge of his life. He didn't know how to control his emotions which threatened to overwhelm him every minute of the day. He didn't know how to be happy again.

But he knew it was up to him and him alone to figure it out.

~O~

It took two weeks, but eventually Edward got used to being back to work. Bella got used to juggling new responsibilities and Molly got used to being at daycare again. It took a while, but it was nice to be back in a routine again.

Since she had gone back to work, Bella was realizing again how much she loved her job. She loved being the boss. She thrived in stressful situations and she was a born leader. She could not be more satisfied with where her career had taken her.

In the time that Taylor had passed away, Bella had felt out of control of things, and useless. But when she went back to work, she found it was almost therapeutic to be in charge of things once again.

One example, of many, was the interns.

"Okay," she finally huffed exasperatedly, causing the dozen interns to look over at her in surprise. Bella raised her eyebrows at them. Angie Weber had just left Bella's office and the interns still had that annoying habit of watching everyone who passed by with a frightening and creepy intensity.

"You all have got to stop staring," she scolded. "People are going to walk by you. I'm sorry, but it's a given. And most people don't like 12 sets of eyes watching their every move. It's weird and creepy as hell. Got it?"

There were murmurs and nods of embarrassed agreement as they all scrambled to appear busy.

Bella rolled her eyes and shook her head. They were like little puppies most of the time. Half of the summer had already passed, as they were now in mid-July and some of them would start leaving in little less than a month. Bella didn't really mind them, but the absence of stares would be nice.

"Landon," Bella called, causing all the interns to look over at him. She raised an eyebrow at them, immediately sending them scurrying back to work. "My office, please."

Landon, who was looking handsome as ever, rose gracefully from his seat and followed her into her office. Bella sat down at her desk as he took the spot across from her, and she rummaged around through papers for a moment.

"Do you like writing, Landon?" Bella wondered curiously, having found the papers she wanted, but leaving them out of his view.

Landon shrugged in somewhat embarrassment. "When I have time, yeah."

Bella gave him a soft smile. "I know how you feel. I used to write all the time in high school, and then some in college. But when you get busy it gets hard."

When Landon just gave a distracted nod, she noticed that he was bouncing his leg anxiously. She eyed him curiously and decided to continue.

"My biggest problem however, was that up until college, no one, not even my best friend, knew I wrote or had read any of it." Landon looked up at her quizzically as she continued, "Because for some reason I was embarrassed by it. People don't think being an author is a real career, and I thought it made me a freak. So I didn't show or tell anyone until it finally slipped to Taylor."

Landon's handsome grey eyes appeared intrigued as he continued to tap his leg.

"It's tough. You don't know if you suck or not, and I was too afraid to take the chance and find out. I mean I think some teachers were suspicious when I turned in short stories that were 26 pages long…but I just kept it to myself."

Bella lifted the manuscript off of her lap and set it at the edge of her desk for him to view.

"You left this behind the other day," she commented gently as he recognized the paper.

"Shit," he cursed for the first time that Bella had ever heard.

They had been working together a couple of days ago and had sprawled out a bunch of stuff on Bella's table. Landon had packed up and left first. Later, Bella found a thick packet of papers that she did not recognize. She had started to read it, and found herself immersed in a wonderful story which she couldn't put down.

"Landon, this is amazing," she told him sincerely.

He looked up in a panicked surprise. "You read all of it?"

Bella nodded. "I couldn't put it down. It was incredible."

It really had been. Landon had written about a group of teenagers that had powers to use the four elements as a part of them. The characters had been dynamic, the voice had been fantastic and the plot had been intricate and suspenseful.

"What would you say about having this potentially published?" she asked when he appeared at a loss for words.

"Well I can tell you that I was having computer problems and the only reason I printed it out was so that I didn't lose all of the work." He brushed at his dark short hair nervously. "It wasn't…I didn't mean for you to read it."

"I'm sorry," she apologized sincerely, "But, Landon, you have such an amazing gift."

"Thank you," he mumbled bashfully. Bella was surprised to see a hint of blush spread over his tan face.

"I really believe this book will sell. I feel it with all me, and I'm usually not wrong."

"I'll think about it," he agreed, appearing slightly shell shocked.

Bella smiled and stood up from her desk. She opened the bottom drawer and retrieved her purse from out of it as Landon rose from her seat. It was lunch time and Bella had agreed to grab sandwiches and meet Edward over at Watson Cullen.

"I'm off to meet Edward for lunch," she told him as they made their way out of the office.

"Are you and Edward…well, are you- I mean, I know you're living together…but, you know, are you?" Landon stuttered, surprising her as he was normally incredibly articulate and sure.

"No," she shook her head, "We're not. It's complicated and we're just trying to get through life. Why do you ask?"

Landon appeared nervous, but as he spoke, he managed to do so with confidence. "I was just wondering if you would like to maybe have dinner or something with me? If that's even allowed?"

Bella's heart fluttered as she realized she was being asked out. She bit her lip around her smile and looked at him almost shyly.

"I'll think about it," she replied, using his words from earlier.

Landon looked relieved. He gave her a grin, "I guess we both have some thinking to do then."

Bella grinned back. "I guess so. I'll see you later."

Feeling an odd surge of confidence surge through her, she strode across the floor, heels clicking. "I can feel you staring. Back to work!" she called to the interns without turning.

Bella grabbed some amazing subs from a deli that was just next to the building she worked in, and set off on her way to walk to Watson Cullen. It was only about a five minute walk from one office to the next, as she had mastered the art of power walking while in heels.

The city was bustling with lunch hour chaos. The July sun was warm, but there was a nice breeze that swept across the pavement to even out the temperature. Still, she was glad she had worn a sleeveless blouse and pencil skirt.

The receptionist buzzed her through to Edward's floor and she got into the elevator. When she arrived on his floor, she was quickly attacked by Emmett who happened to be coming back from the bathroom. He gave her a fierce one armed hug and grinned. "How's it going lil' Swan? You look like you're in a good mood."

"Got asked out, actually," she grinned.

Emmett reeled back in surprised. "Reeaallly?" he asked mischievously.

"Yes, reeaally, Emmett."

"Was it your intern twit?" he asked curiously as they walked towards Edward's office.

Bella rolled her eyes. "Yes, it was the intern who is really not that much of a twit compared to the others."

"A twit is a twit," Emmett told her seriously.

"You're just upset that Rose thought he was very attractive," she teased.

Rosalie had stopped by Gray Books last week in order to "drop off some bridesmaid thing" which really equated to her creeping on Landon. Needless to say she had been very impressed. And when he had called her ma'am? She was done for.

"No," he rolled his eyes, "I'm upset that I had hear about how attractive she thought he was."

"Ah," she conceded, "Makes sense. Fair point."

Edward met them at his assistant Lily's desk. "Can you stop monopolizing my lunch, man?"

Emmett waved his hand dismissively. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bella suddenly gets a date and forgets about the little people, and some of us don't get lunch."

Bella for some reason didn't look to see Edward's reaction to this news and instead rolled her eyes at Emmett. "I would go broke trying to feed you, Emmett."

"Uh huh," he agreed, "suuuuure."

"Are you going to leave?" Edward asked curiously.

"On my way," he said. He winked at Bella and nodded at Edward before turning on his heel and heading back to work.

"A date, huh?" Edward asked as he held the door to his office open for her.

"I find your tone of shock mildly insulting," she replied as she set down the sandwiches on the coffee table by the couch.

"Only mildly?"

She shrugged. "Tough skin, I guess."

Edward rolled his eyes as he sat down to her on the sleek grey couch. They each grabbed subs and began to consume them fiercely.

"These are so good," Edward half moaned.

Bella had the delicacy to swallow before she replied. "They're just about the best in the city."

Edward was about to reply, probably just to reiterate his pleasure when Bella suddenly exclaimed, "Oh! I almost forgot!"

"What?" he asked as he watched her dig through her large purse.

Bella pulled out a newspaper as she spoke. "Remember the Fuller Construction bankruptcy case? The one where no one could figure out where the money had gone?"

Edward watched as she flipped through the paper. "Yeah, they're officially declaring bankruptcy any day now…why?"

"I know where the money went!" she exclaimed excitedly.

Bella set, or rather slammed, the newspaper down on the table. She pointed to a picture on the top right of the section. The title read: MAN FUFILLS HIS DREAM OF SAILING. Edward leaned in and read it as she spoke rapidly, "Greg Blackman was Peter Fuller's business partner, right? Well look at the picture! It's Greg in front of a freaking yacht! Who the hell has money to buy a yacht and then cruise the Great Lakes?"

Edward skimmed the article and looked back at Bella with a raised eyebrow. "You think him buying a boat is the reason they are bankrupt?"

Bella huffed and shook her head. "No, the boat has to be one of just many things! Who buys a yacht when your company has just run out of money? A guy who is the reason it's out of money! He had to have taken it, it makes sense."

"You think Greg Blackman embezzled money from his own company?"

She nodded. "How much do you know about this guy? You know Peter a hell of a lot better, I'm guessing. Greg is at the age where he could easily retire…on a huge freaking yacht."

Something Edward remembered from the company's financials suddenly made sense. "You might be right," he muttered distractedly as he stood up from the couch and strode over to his desk to try and find the file.

"Might," Bella scoffed to herself, "He thinks I _might_ be right."

"Just eat your damn sandwich," he replied, having heard her griping. Bella smirked to herself but took a bite of her food regardless.

"Only because I want to," she replied, "Not because you told me to."

She didn't have to see his face to know he had just rolled his eyes.

Bella watched in mild fascination as Edward picked up his desk phone and fiercely jabbed at some numbers. "Lily, can you get me Peter Fuller and Greg Blackman in here?" He paused. "Tell them it's urgent." Bella glanced over through the glass wall to see Lily reply. "If you can get Fuller in earlier, that'd be great." He grinned at what she said next. "I think we've got it."

Edward shuffled around a few things on his desk as Bella folded up the newspaper. When she moved the paper away, she saw a file beneath it that look curiously thick. She picked it up, ignoring the sense that told her the action may be illegal, and opened it.

When Edward turned back from his desk and saw Bella on the couch, eyes wide in apparent horror as she read the file, he cursed. "Fuck."

Of course Bella had found one of the files on the case against the trucking company that the driver who hit Taylor had belonged to.

Of course.

Edward hesitantly sat down next to her on the couch. She tore her eyes away from the paper and stared at him, eyes wide and mouth still open.

"What is this?" she finally managed to quietly ask.

"Please don't make me say it," he pleaded softly.

Bella stared back at the paper. "Are you- you're…I didn't think…why- you're on the case?"

Edward was at a loss for words, even though all he needed to answer was an affirmative. He thought back to the discussion he had had with his dad and brother a couple weeks ago, just after he had come back to work.

Having Marcus Watson on whatever case the firm was building had made him furious. Edward had been so pissed, and he had decided point blank: no fucking way. The man may have been a decent lawyer, but that was years ago, and he was a conniving bastard who Edward did not trust, especially not with something so important.

"Edward," his father had said, "I know you don't like the man, but he's a good attorney-"

The younger Cullen son had interrupted him. Carlisle must have seen the desperation on his face, and heard the plea in his voice as he spoke. "So are you. You're a damn good attorney. And she was _my wife_. I need to do this. I _have_ to do this. Please dad. You, Emmett and I can do this. It'll be the Cullen men verse the world. We don't need Watson. We can do it, I know we can."

"Edward…" he had hesitantly trailed off, "Are you sure you're up to this?"

Emmett, who had been sitting quietly in the office until then, had spoken up. "Dad, he can do this. You and I both know it. He's a lot stronger than most."

Carlisle had sighed and rubbed at his tired eyes. When he looked up, he saw one hopeful face, and one desperate. "When you boys went into law, I dreamt about the day when the three of us would take on a case together, because I knew we would be unstoppable. I never wanted it to be under these circumstances, but I think we can do it. Trust is going to be important in this case. That and compassion. And if we can manage that, we will win."

Edward looked at Bella who appeared suddenly much older than she was. "Yeah," he admitted, "I'm on the case."

Bella was silent as she studied him. Edward didn't know what she was searching for as he felt her gaze at him, and he didn't know if she would find it.

"Edward, do you really think this is a good idea?" she questioned softly.

He leaned back against the couch and stared at the file blankly. "You know when someone gets attacked by a shark, and they have to go after the shark? Bella, I have to go after the shark."

Bella eyed him with concern. "Yes, Edward, but all that you have in the end, is a dead shark."

Edward closed his eyes briefly and when he opened them, he met Bella's stare.

"A shark that can no longer hurt anyone anymore."

Bella gave her head a little, frustrated shake. "Sharks don't try and kill people. You know that right? Almost always the only reason they hurt or kill people is an accident. They mistake the person for a seal or other food…it's never deliberate."

"The intent is irrelevant when the fact of the matter is that you have someone dead as a result."

Bella sighed, seeing that she would not make headway in this conversation. "The intent is relevant when you realize that sharks don't know any better."

Edward abruptly stood up from the couch and went over to the window wall. Bella could see his shoulders rising and falling as he breathed heavily. For a moment, she was not sure if he would respond.

"But it wasn't a fucking shark that killed Taylor, Bella. It was a truck driver. A human being. And they _do_ know better."

Bella was concerned by the amount of anger that she heard in his voice. She had been with Edward through countless different emotions, but never once had the anger he felt been directed at anyone besides himself. She did not enjoy that fact, but it frightened her to see the intensity of Edward directed at someone else.

"Edward, maybe you should talk to someone…" she suggested softly.

"I'm fine, Bella," he retorted without turning his back away from her. "I will end this company, one way or another."

"I don't think this is the right way to go about it," she told him, trying to keep her voice soft, "I know you're angry and we all are. But I'm not so sure Taylor would have been happy that you were trying to destroy people's lives.

"Well isn't that too fucking bad!" he yelled, finally turning back to face her. "Because Taylor isn't here anymore! She's dead because some asshole from an incompetent company, hit her. So don't tell me you know what she would have wanted, because she's not here!" he roared.

Bella rose unsteadily from her seat and slowly crossed over to him. "Edward, hey, it's okay to be mad. But I just really want you to think about where you're at and how that is affecting your decisions on this."

"Bella, I told you. I'm fine. I'm fine as I ever fucking will be," he told her with sharp, bitter edge to his voice as he turned away from her approach.

"Edward," she started softly, putting her hand on his shoulder lightly. Edward shrugged it away and took a step away from her, staring angrily out towards the skyline. Bella let her hand drop away as she gazed at him sadly.

"You're wrong, Edward," she whispered quietly.

"You're not fine."

* * *

_Backbeat the word was on the street_  
_That the fire in your heart is out_  
_I'm sure you've heard it all before_  
_But you never really had a doubt_  
_I don't believe that anybody feels_  
_The way I do about you now_

_And all the roads we have to walk are winding_  
_And all the lights that lead us there are blinding_  
_There are many things that I would_  
_Like to say to you, but I don't know how_

_Because maybe you're gonna_  
_Be the one that saves me_  
_And after all you're my wonderwall_  
Wonderwall, Oasis

* * *

**AN:** No, Bella did not wake up in Edward's bed as several of you were hoping...she had left after he fell asleep. However, Edward's lack of sleep with be addressed in coming chapters and you will get a different result than now.

Also, many of you were curious about the Fuller case, which worked well, as I had wanted to put it in there. It's not going to be a plot twist or anything, but I wanted to demonstrate that E&B's relationship has grown, as had their trust. They're friends, and they truly understand one another.

And then lastly, 1000 REVIEWS! Ya'll are just fabulous(: much love!


	19. Complicated

Complicated.

What a phrase, "It's complicated," is. One can use the response for many things, and while an asker will most not likely be thrilled with the reply, they will be able to accept it. Because everyone knows that sometimes, life is really just complicated.

His life had never really been complicated until the beginning of June. Until then, he had lived a relatively normal and good life with nothing shocking or devastating ever really happening to him. He had finished college, gone to a good law school, started a career, met a great girl, married her, had a beautiful healthy baby, and things had been the definition of uncomplicated.

But fate never really seems okay with that sort of thing.

Now, he was living with his dead wife's best friend and they were trying to heal each other while raising a one year old girl, all the while trying to go on with life.

Complicated didn't even begin to describe it, really.

~O~

_I'll meet you at Aqua at 7. Really looking forward to it (:_

Bella glanced down at the text message from Landon and smiled to herself. She quickly typed an affirmative reply before locking the iPhone screen and turning her attention back to Molly.

It was a scorching hot July Saturday and had Bella not had a date that evening, she would have tried to go up to the family cabin, because the lake sounded wonderful. She did have a date however, so leaving the city probably wasn't the best idea.

After thinking about it for a couple hours earlier that week, she had finally decided to accept Landon's offer. The summer would be over in a couple weeks and he would no longer be her intern, and she trusted that he wasn't using her to get ahead. Not that there was a way in hell that she would be stupid enough to let that happen.

Landon was a great guy. He was only a few months younger than her, so age wasn't an issue. He had gotten a fantastic education, one which he had worked his ass off to pay for by himself. He was kind and funny. He was smart and insanely creative, as his manuscript had truly shown her. He was strong, attractive and in short, everything a woman could want in a potential boyfriend.

She'd have to be an idiot to let that pass by her.

So, she was going on a date.

Edward hadn't said much about it over the week, only that he and Molly would have a date night while she had hers. Since he had gotten angry in his office, Bella had made sure to give him his space, and as a result, she wasn't sure how he was feeling about anything.

She wasn't sure why she was hesitant, but for some reason, though she wasn't positive about it, she wasn't sure it was an entirely good idea.

But she still had a few hours before she had to start getting ready so she was more than content to spend it with Molly. She had missed the hell out of the little girl, having gone back to work full time. It seemed like she grew and changed every day and Bella felt like she was missing too much.

Molly was now talking up a storm.

"Wada!" she exclaimed excitedly upon seeing the small inflatable pool that Edward had just blown up and filled.

"Yeah, that's right sweetie," Bella smiled, adjusting her on her hip, "You're going to go swimming!"

"Wada!" she sang happily again.

Bella grinned as she sat Molly down on her feet on the grass where she wobbled for a second but then stood firmly. Bella set down Molly's towel and her basket of water toys on the grass.

"Dada?" Molly babbled curiously.

She had recently started to add an extra "da" to the original "Da." Bella thought it was particularly adorable, and she wasn't oblivious to Edward's proud fatherly grins whenever she said it.

"He's coming, honey," Bella glanced behind her across the backyard over to the house and saw Edward coming out the back door. "There he is!" she told her, pointing her finger in his direction for her to see.

"Da!" she cried excitedly. Edward smiled as he crossed the grass over to them.

"Hey, baby girl, ready to go swimming?" he asked.

Molly bobbed her little head up and down.

Edward crouched down to her low level and scooped her up. He stepped over the short edge of the pool and slowly set her, feet first, into the shallowly filled pool. Molly squealed as her feet touched the chilly hose water. Bella laughed as she watched on with a smile.

"Yeah," Edward chuckled, "Sorry it's a little cold, princess."

Edward gave her his two index fingers for support as she walked around the pool, exploring the new space. He dutifully walked slowly after her while Bella snapped pictures of the moment.

After a while, Molly started experimentally kicking in the water and when she saw the splash that resulted of the action, her entire face lit up. Needless to say, she continued to kick and jump around. Bella took even more pictures, trying to capture the water in the air and the light in Molly's huge blue eyes.

"Come on Molly, you gotta get your daddy wet," Bella laughed as she snapped pictures.

Molly looked at her curiously, but clearly didn't understand the instruction. Instead she just kicked some more water around.

Bella felt her phone buzzing in her back pocket and pulled it out. "Why is your brother calling me?" she asked Edward curiously.

Edward's brows furrowed but he shrugged. "If I knew why Emmett did half the things he did…"

"True," she agreed as she unlocked the screen.

"What's up, Emmett?"

"Hey Bella!" he greeted her enthusiastically, "Enjoying the 90 degree day?"

"Oh yeah," she answered with a grin, "We broke out the kiddie pool over here."

"Did you really? And why the hell am I not there?" he demanded, making her laugh.

"Because the pool is literally half the size of you, and I think Molly would really prefer you didn't break it," she replied.

Molly had let go of Edward's hands and had unceremoniously plopped down into the four inches of water. She was now splashing excitedly with her hands, rapidly getting Edward's legs wet as she did so.

"I'll just have to get the kid a bigger one I suppose," he sighed dramatically.

"Any particular reason for the blessing you are bestowing upon me with this phone call?" she asked.

"You know, Bella," Emmett replied seriously, "I sense some sarcasm in your tone."

"Fair enough."

Bella smiled as Emmett chuckled. "I'm actually calling because my dumbass of a brother didn't answer his phone. Think I could talk to him?"

"Yeah, he's right here," she told him, handing her phone over to Edward.

Bella dug around in the basket of toys and found some particularly fun looking ones to offer Molly who was still patting eagerly at the water.

"What's up, Emmett?" Edward asked.

"You got a sec? I just wanted to talk to you about the drivers logs."

Edward frowned at the topic of conversation, but agreed nevertheless. "Yeah, sure." He stepped out of the pool, not that Molly cared. She was very much interested in a plastic crab which filled with water in you squeezed it under the water and then squirted it out. Bella looked at him quizzically, but he was already walking a distance away from the pool.

"Alright," he said once he was out of ear shot, "What about the logs?"

"They're bullshit."

Edward sighed. "Yes, Emmett. Of course they are."

Truck drivers are required by law to record their driver's information, mainly their hours and times of delivery in structured driving logs. The Cullen's theory was that they had to be inaccurate.

Federal regulations set forth rules to ensure that truck drivers obtain the necessary rest and sleep in order to drive their truck safely. Under these rules, truck drivers can work a maximum of 14 hours per day, during which time they can only drive for a maximum of 11 hours. The driver must be off-duty for 10 consecutive hours prior to the start of a shift.

The driver that had hit Taylor was just finishing 15 hours of driving when he hit her.

There had to be other drivers that were breaking the rules, and Watson Cullen was going after the entire company for it.

"They're not just a little bullshit; they're complete, steamy bullshit."

"I agree," Edward said, "They were all perfect. Everything was noted always exactly on the hour. And almost every single one of them I looked at had the exact same amount of time. The exact same. There's no way they're real."

"Exactly. There's no fucking way that every driver at that company worked 10 hour shifts and drove for exactly 8," Emmett agreed, losing his jovial tone as he spoke.

"Yeah," he said sarcastically, "They all drove 8 except for the ass that hit Taylor who did 15. I'm sure he's the only exception and that was the only time it has ever happened."

"Seems legit."

The hardness to Emmett's voice gave Edward confidence. They were going to win this thing. The three of them could do it, because it needed to be done.

"Well, since the logs they provided are insultingly inaccurate, what do you want to do?" Emmett asked.

Edward ran his hand through his hair as he thought. He had taken refuge in the shade of the house and was sitting on the wood of the porch as he looked over at Molly and Bella who were giggling as Bella cupped water and gently let it fall over Molly.

"You know," he finally sighed, "I guess we're just going to have to get the trip tickets or bills of landing for each delivery by each driver made in like a week's span and look at them. That should give us an idea on how long some of their shifts have been recently."

Emmett contemplated his next words for a moment. "Yeah, that's a good idea. Dad's also looking into any former accident records in this company's history. If he finds anything, we're going to dive into that shit."

"If we can prove they have a history of inattentive driving, it would basically solidify our case," Edward agreed.

"Do you think we should get the trip tickets and information that are prior to the accident?" Emmett asked.

"Definitely. It wouldn't surprise me if they have wizened up since then," he replied, a bitter, hard edge to his voice.

"I know you hate the question, but bro, are you positive you can handle this?" Emmett asked, concerned, "Dad's been worrying for weeks that anything he says about the case will upset you in some way, and I gotta say, I see his point. This is getting complicated."

Edward shrugged, even though his brother was unable to see it. "I wouldn't have taken the case if I didn't think I would be okay."

Emmett wasted no time in snorting and promptly replying.

"Yeah, I don't believe that for a second."

"Emmett, for the last time, this is what I do. This is my job. And this is my family and my life that has gotten so fucked up. I'm going to do this whether everyone thinks it's a good idea or the worst idea they've ever heard. I don't give a shit. Will I be fine? To be honest, I have no fucking clue. But will I handle it? Somehow, yes. Because that's what I need to do, because Emmett, I have to do this."

The phone was silent and Edward got the impression that Emmett was stunned by Edward's passionate declaration. But he didn't regret it, nor would he take back a word. People needed to understand that he was not doing this for prestige or for personal gain. He was doing this because he simply had to.

"I know you'll handle it man, but at what cost?" he finally asked.

Edward just shook his head. "Nothing is too much."

If Emmett was worried about his brother, (which he completely was) he did not let it slip through in the phone conversation.

"So, are you in?"

"I'm in."

~O~

A few hours later, Bella sat on the bed in the guest bedroom that had become hers, staring at her closet.

She had her legs crossed, her elbow propped on her knee and she was cupping her chin with her hand as she stared at all of the clothes she had hung in the small space. She had no idea what she was supposed to wear. Bella had never picked her clothes out for a date.

Taylor had always been the one to do that. Bella could dress great for work, and any professional occasions, but throw her on a date and she was clueless.

"Oh screw it," she muttered to herself as she stood up from the bed.

She grabbed her little white fluffy robe and left the room, heading down the hall to the upstairs bathroom which she used since Edward had his own. She was pretty sure that she smelled relatively bad, so a shower wouldn't hurt.

So, she shampooed and conditioned her hair, shaved her legs and lathered her body with lovely smelling body wash. All the while she did this, she felt this odd feeling. It wasn't necessarily an absence of excitement for her date, but it was an absence of something else that she couldn't quite place.

Bella towel dried, but left her mane of hair to air dry. She wrapped her robe which hung about to her knees, around her body, and secured it with a knot so it wouldn't come open as she walked through the hall.

When she got back into her bedroom, she sat down on the wood paneled floor with her back against her bed and stared once again at the closet.

Aqua was a very nice and high end restaurant in the cities, just about five minutes away from her office in the more lively part of the area. So…what exactly did those circumstances equate to her wearing?

From her space on the floor Bella perused her shorter dresses. None of them seemed like they would work, but she wasn't sure what choice that left her with. She supposed she could wear a skirt with a cute top…but all of her skirts were ones that she could or did wear to work, and that didn't seem like a good idea.

The summer heat prevented her from wearing any type of pants…and who the hell wore pants to a date when they were 25 and relatively in shape? Ugh. Bella scowled at the clothes which were all hanging unhelpfully.

"I can't do this."

That's what it was. That's what it had to be. That was the feeling that she couldn't quite place, but had been nagging her for days now.

She could not do this.

Taylor was what was missing. That was the absence she had felt but didn't know what it was. It was Taylor.

Since the time the two of them had been in high school, Bella had not gone on a date without Taylor knowing everything possible about the guy. And she hadn't dated without Taylor having helped pick out her outfit, or in most cases, not only helped, but done all the work.

And now Bella had no fucking idea what to do.

She missed her best friend and everything that having a best friend meant.

Bella had been so lucky to have had such a strong friendship with Taylor. It seemed impossible that they had literally been best friends for 80% of their lives. But their friendship had never wavered, but rather, grew impossibly stronger the older they grew.

She had always had a sister in Alice, but growing up, when they weren't getting along, or even when they were getting along, Bella had always turned to Taylor. Taylor had been the one she would call when she was mad, Taylor would be the one she would call when she was happy. It was always Taylor.

That was the price of love, Bella supposed. You put everything you have into a person; all of your trust, love, secrets, joys and fears and by putting that into someone, you create such a beautiful, wonderful thing. And when that person is gone, a part of you is gone as well. Bella felt like a part of her was missing, and though she had had the distinct ache for weeks, it was so much more pronounced in this moment where she desperately needed her best friend.

It was killing her that she couldn't call Taylor.

Bella kept picking up her phone and going to her contacts list before she remembered where she was. She would trade anything to be able to just call and hear Taylor's voice one last time. She just wanted to tell her that she had loved her and been thankful for everything that she had done, because it was so hard without her.

Landon was such a great guy. Bella knew this, she truly did. Taylor would have adored him. Hell, she probably would have suggested the two of them go on a date before he had even been able to ask her. Bella could imagine exactly how excited and happy Taylor would be for her that she met such an awesome man.

It was then that Bella lost it.

Picturing Taylor, sitting on Bella bed back at her apartment with a glass of wine, gushing about how excited she was for Bella, that's what did it. The image and the knowledge that it would not happen took Bella's breath away and left utter sadness in its wake.

She pulled her knees up against her chest and buried her face in her hands as she started to cry.

The tears were quiet at first, and mixed only with whimpers and whispers that were too mangled to be understood. But eventually as the full weight of what Bella had truly and completely lost crushed her, the knowledge came faster and harder, taking her breath away.

Bella had other friends; that wasn't the problem. The problem was how she was around those friends. Having the same best friend all of your life is special in a way that she had never really sought out to build a deep relationship with another women, or even man. She hadn't wanted to, to be honest. Why should she? She had had Taylor, and she had put everything into that friendship….all of her life.

The clock ticked by, and Bella was unaware that if she wanted to be at Aqua by 7, she would have had to already left the house. She had no idea how long she had cried for, but the fact that she just couldn't seem to stop it scared her.

Eventually, she drained herself. She was weak, exhausted and so fucking alone. There was no emotion left and instead she just stayed curled up, staring with puffy eyes at the closet again.

A soft knock on the door didn't even draw her stare away.

"Bella?" Edward's muffled voice called through the door.

She couldn't find words to respond. Nor did she try.

Bella was hardly surprised when the door knob turned open. Edward stuck his head slowly through the space between the door and the wall. When he saw Bella, he let out a small sigh.

Her empty stare didn't break as Edward approached her. He had been avoiding her since he snapped at her in his office, though it had only been because he was embarrassed and ashamed to have done so.

Edward sat down next to her, resting his back against the bed just as she was. He stretched his legs straight on in front of him and dropped his hands in his lap. He didn't say a word.

"I can't do it without her," she finally whispered.

She wiped at her tears, but her stare didn't break, nor did the tear flow actually cease.

"I know how you feel," he told her softly.

Edward's heart broke yet again as he looked at the lovely, yes incredibly sad girl next to him.

"I know you do," she whispered, "And I always feel _so_ guilty when I even think I have it worse than you. Always."

"Bella," he said quietly, "...I think you do."

Finally, as if the words had broken the stare, Bella turned her head to look at him. The confusion was evident in her red rimmed eyes.

"You knew her for 20 years. I didn't even know her for 5 years. I had planned for 20 years, and many more…but, well…"

"But you loved her so much," Bella protested with the same quiet, scratchy voice.

Edward forced a gentle smile. "So did you. No, she wasn't your wife or the mother of your child…but you two had something just as special. I've always been sort of jealous of you, actually."

"Me?" she wondered incredulously.

Edward gave a one shoulder shrug and a small, sheepish smile. "You knew her for _such_ a long time. You two had an amazing bond, and I've never seen anything like it. She was my wife, and I was a little jealous."

Bella sighed and tilted her curled up body against his side, her head resting on his shoulder. As he wrapped his left around her shoulders, she spoke. "Edward, I don't know what to do without her. I just…don't."

"Neither do I," he said as he tucked her head under his chin. "But you do such a good job of pretending."

"I hate pretending," she told him in a whisper. "I hate trying to act like it's okay. It's not. And I want it to be."

"But you're scared that you're never going to be able to be happy again?" he finished, echoing his own thoughts that kept him awake at night.

"Terrified."

"We will be. And if I can say that, you have to believe it," he said weakly.

Bella's body curled closer against his chest, her head which rested on his shoulder turning into him. His other arm came around her and he ran his fingers gently through her damp hair. "But do you believe it?" she persisted.

Edward was silent for a little bit as he truly thought about it. "Somehow, yes, I do. But I don't know when it will happen, and not knowing scares the shit out of me."

Bella wiped at the few tears that Edward could not see her shedding.

"I think I missed my date," she whispered.

Edward cracked a small grin. It was way past seven he knew, but for some reason her saying it amused him. "It's alright."

"Shit," she whispered, "I stood him up. Shit." She instantly felt horrible as she imagined Landon waiting for her at the restaurant.

"It's okay…it builds character."

"Edward."

"Sorry."

"I didn't even call," she rubbed at her face, "Dammit. I don't even know how to begin to explain to him that I'm really just an emotional wreck who is afraid of her own clothes."

"Hey," Edward chuckled softly, rubbing her back, "He'll understand. Anyone who calls people ma'am and sir is obviously in touch with their sensitivity."

A weak, yet still there, giggle followed his words.

He smiled to himself to hear it.

"And," Edward added, "You are more than welcome to third wheel me and Molly's date. We're watching a pretty great cinematic classic called The Lion King."

"Oh, that's an amazing film," Bella agreed as she pulled away from him.

Edward moved his head away from her where it had been over hers. He looked at her and saw that she had a watery smile, despite the puffy eyes and the red nose from crying. There was a stray tear on Bella's cheek that seemed to have over stayed its welcome.

They both watched his hand slowly raise and softly, with a feather touch, brush the tear away with the pad of his thumb. Their eyes met, and for a moment they just stared at each other with a shared intensity that could not be put into words.

"Thank you, Edward," Bella whispered.

Edward smiled, brushing her soft cheek one last time. "We seem to say that to each other a lot."

"That's because we're living complicated lives," she replied.

"And somehow, it seems to be working, you and me."

* * *

_I've been roaming around_  
_Always looking down at all I see_  
_Painted faces fill the places I can't reach_  
_You know that I could use somebody_

_Someone like you and all you know_  
_And how you speak, countless lovers_  
_Undercover of the street_

_Off in the night_  
_While you live it up I'm off to sleep_  
_Waging wars to shape the poet and the beat_  
_I hope it's gonna make you notice_  
Use Somebody, Kings of Leon

* * *

**AN:** So there you have it! A little bit of everything in this chapter. You got Molly, Edward's case, Landon, E&B times, along with really seeing Taylor as Bella's best friend instead of Edward's wife.

This stretch of chapters right now is not as exciting as previous or future, but they're utterly important in the development of their relationship. Part II will end with a bang, and Part III I believe will be the favorite of the story (;

Do I have any Vikings or Packers fans here? Lemme just say that I am so stoked for the game this Sunday, and if the Vikes win and sneak into the playoffs, I will be updating earlier than usual! (:

Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! My family did a Christmas Vacation theme...several Cousin Eddie's were present!


	20. Sleepless Nights

Sleepless Nights.

As a teenager, a college student pulling an all-nighter, a parent up with a fussy child or an adult simply kept awake by the worries of life, we all have sleepless nights.

At times, sleepless nights are hardly a bad thing. They can be nights one looks back and smiles fondly on, remembering times when there was not a care to be found.

But, most of the time, nights without sleep are not to be celebrated.

For him, it wasn't an uncommon thing to get no sleep during the night. Thoughts and memories plagued his mind, making the night crawl by at an excruciatingly slow pace. Most days, coffee was the only thing that gave him the kick he needed to be able to get through the day.

He had thought that starting work would make him more tired and thus make it easier to sleep. Turns out he had been right…on the first account. He was more tired, but now that only meant that he felt more and more fatigued as the days went by.

He just wanted to be able to sleep again.

~O~

A few weeks after Edward started work, three to be precise, everyone in the Cullen residence found themselves awake at 2 a.m.

Edward lay in his bed, his head sandwiched in between pillows. It had been a desperate, yet regularly attempted act that he hoped would lure him to sleep. Of course it wasn't working, he was simply too tired to move.

Bella had given up trying to sleep at midnight and had turned on her night side lamp. She had slipped her glasses on, dug blindly in her brief case to find Landon's manuscript which she had been editing and settled in to read. The quiet of the night calmed her, and she found herself uncaring of what morning would hold for her.

Molly, the youngest of the three was also awake. Since Bella had moved in, Molly had only woken up twice during the night. She was like Taylor as the two of them both loved and valued their sleep. However, for some reason that early morning, she had woken and began to cry immediately.

Both Edward and Bella heard the noise.

Edward shot out of his pillow sandwich and sat up in his bed. Bella was startled by the noise and listened to it for a moment, her head tilting to the side. Edward grabbed a t-shirt and pulled it over his head as he stood up, hardly needing to wake himself up. When Bella heard that she was continuing to cry, she slipped out of her bed as well.

The first one to arrive in the nursery was Edward. He found his daughter standing up in her crib, holding onto the edge as she cried. When she saw Edward, her cries quieted somewhat, but did not die down completely. Without hesitation, he gently lifted her from her crib and cuddled her warm body against his chest.

"Shh, baby girl," he hushed, kissing her head, "It's okay honey, Daddy's here."

Edward began to walk around slowly as he rubbed her back, trying to soothe her cries. He was surprised when a dim light was shed across the room. He looked over to see Bella dropping her hand from the giraffe lamp which sat on Molly's dresser.

"Hey," she said quietly as she stepped over to them.

"Hi," he whispered back.

He looked over at Bella, noting the glasses. He had never seen her with them before. She was wearing a baggy U of M Tennis shirt and sleeping shorts which showed off a lot of tan leg. Her hair was disheveled, and the sleepy look on her face made her look…well, adorable for lack of better word.

"Hey sweetie," she cooed gently, "What's wrong?"

Bella ran her hand tenderly over Molly's head, soothing the hair back into place. Molly turned her face out of Edward's chest and looked at Bella, looking sad but having quieted.

"She doesn't have a temp," he told her in a hushed tone.

Bella nodded, but was silent as she continued to run her fingers lightly over the little girl's hair.

"She hasn't cried for Taylor's picture in nearly two weeks…do you think I should find one?" he asked.

Bella watched as the little, tired girl nuzzled her face against her dad's chest, her eyes fluttering shut.

"I think…she really just needs her daddy. Sometimes, I think, she's okay and just wants to simply be with you."

Even with Edward only working four days a week, it was a lot. He was working longer hours than he had anticipated and had been throwing himself completely in the case against the trucking company. As a result, Molly had seen a lot of Bella, a decent amount of time at day care and not as much with Edward.

It just didn't seem like enough.

"Oh, baby girl," he sighed, rubbing her small back. He pressed his lips down on her head before looking over at Bella. "I'll bring her to my bed and see if we can get some sleep…did she wake you up?"

Bella shook her head. "Nah, it's no sleep nation in this house I guess. Do you think she'll keep you up?" she asked in a whisper.

It was Edward's turn to shake his head. "I don't really sleep anyways."

Bella frowned at that answer. She was worried about Edward, not that that was anything new. Before when he was not sleeping, both he and she had been home during the day. He had been able to catch up on naps while she had entertained Molly. Now he was working crazily, and she was concerned.

"Edward…a person can't survive on coffee alone. You're going to run yourself into the ground if you keep going like this."

He looked at her, and she saw a tired and broken man who had only learned to hide it better from the world around him.

"What do you want me to do, Bella? Are you telling me that you sleep through the night?"

Bella nearly snorted at the absurdity that she got much sleep. She usually barely managed four or five hours a night. "No, but I get enough so that I can get through the day."

"How?"

She sighed. "With a lot of deep breathing and thought clearing and at times praying. Sometimes I think that's the only way I get any sleep at all."

"I've tried everything," he whispered, "But I just can't get to sleep. And when I do…I dream. And they're never good dreams."

Bella reached out and rested her hand on his arm.

"I know. But you've gotta know your limits. Please don't work yourself too hard."

Edward slowly inhaled and let the deep breath out, his chest rising and falling with the movement. "I'm trying. I know it's not always enough, but I'm trying."

Molly, who was still not quite back to sleep, shifted against her father's chest, whimpering. Both adults watched the movement, and when she quieted they met each other's gazes.

"It's more than enough," she told him with soft assurance.

The darkened room was silent as they stood there for one last quiet moment. When Molly wiggled again, the trance that had held them captive was broken.

Bella went to turn off the light while Edward walked towards the door and headed in the direction of his bedroom. Both he and Bella had reached their respective doors which were separated by a home office.

"Bella?"

She looked from the door handle.

"Yeah?"

Even in the dark hallway, she could make out the soft crooked grin on his face.

"Good night."

"Good night, Edward."

The next morning when Bella went to the kitchen after waking up, she was surprised. She had expected to merely turn on the coffee maker before drudging back upstairs and sleepily making her way through a shower, getting dressed and then getting Molly up and fed. Instead, she found a very awake and smiley Molly in her high chair, eating food that Edward was setting on her plate.

"Morning," she yawned, trying to hide her confusion at the situation.

Edward looked over his shoulder and saw Bella, sans glasses. He gave her a tired, yet rather energized smile. "Hey there, sleepyhead."

"It's 7 in the morning," she replied after glancing at the microwave clock.

"Yeah and me and Molly have been up for a full 15 minutes longer," he grinned.

Molly unintelligibly exclaimed, "Fa!" in agreement. Bella cracked a grin as the kid went back to eating dry Cheerios.

"Do you need to shower or something? I can watch her if you need."

Edward shrugged. "Whatever's fine with me. I think I'm going to take Molly to day care this morning too. I'll just get to the firm a few minutes late, which is okay because no one really gives a shit I've found out."

Bella raised an eyebrow. "Emmett's rubbing off on you. You usually don't swear in front of your kid."

Edward's brow furrowed as he figured out what he had said. When he remembered, he grinned sheepishly. "Oops. Guess I can't blame it on lack of sleep, as I got a full three hours."

Bella laughed at the mixture of triumph and sarcasm this proclamation was said by.

"I'm good with blaming Emmett." She bent down and waved cheerfully at Molly who smiled back with a giggle. "It seems like you've got it covered, so I guess I'll just go and do my own thing."

And that's what she did.

Bella went through a morning routine that was actually somewhat foreign to her. She showered, got dressed, ate breakfast while doing her makeup, dried her hair, grabbed all of her work stuff, poured coffee in a travel mug and then off she went. Edward and Molly were doing their own thing, and that was that.

When she got to work, she was in her office for only five minutes before Landon wandered in.

"Hey, what's up?" she smiled.

Last weekend had been their first planned date, but that obviously hadn't gone well. Bella had called him the Sunday after the fact and tried to explain. He wouldn't hear any of her apologies. He said he understood completely and that she shouldn't worry about it or feel bad. She still did feel bad, but she was touched at how sweet he had been about the whole thing.

"Just wanting to see if you'd come to your senses and wanted to give me my manuscript back yet."

Bella smirked. He had agreed to let her publish his story, and she was beyond excited. She was far more excited than he was actually. He was nervous and convinced it sucked. She was thrilled and taking the project on as her own.

"Nope. Not yet. I've been tweaking the first chapter a bit though."

Landon sighed. "I know, it sucks."

Bella rolled her eyes. "No, the prologue is fantastic and a great opener, the transition in time you have though is a little shaky. It won't take much to make it stronger."

"Well then I'm glad I have the best," he grinned.

Bella looked at her keyboard to hide her smile.

"Hey, I've been thinking…do you have anything going on this week? After work I mean?" he asked.

Bella was confused but thought to her schedule. "No, I don't think so. Well, on Monday I have Molly for the afternoon 'cause Edward is in court. Why?"

It always impressed Bella that Landon wasn't fazed by all the responsibilities she had. I mean she was literally raising a kid that wasn't her own, and living with a man who she was not in a relationship with. Landon always took it into stride and understood without hesitation.

"I was just thinking that next time we go on a date, I'm probably not going to tell you beforehand," he explained.

"Oh, good."

Landon rolled his eyed but couldn't fight a smile. "That way there will be no worry before it happens."

Bella smiled at how sweet he was. "That sounds like a good idea. Thank you."

"Anything for you, ma'am."

"See, now you just made me feel like your mother."

Landon laughed. "I know, but calling you sweetheart seems forward considering we have yet to actually go on a date…and creepy."

"Oh I definitely have a three date rule before you can call me sweetheart," she agreed.

Landon grinned, "I'll be sure to remember that," he said with a wink.

"Leave my office so I can get work done please. Your freakish good looks are distracting."

"And you think the other interns get anything done with me out there?" he teased as he headed towards the door.

"Well," she said with a shrug, "They never get anything done as it is."

"True," he agreed as he exited through the door. Bella watched him leave and then shook her head with a smile on her face.

Taylor would have just loved him.

Bella's laptop dinged and she blinked out of her distracted gaze. She pulled up her email, recognizing the sound as an alert that she had a new message. She was confused when she saw the name.

**From**: Edward Cullen  
**Subject**: I Guess 3 Hours Isn't Quite Enough  
**Date**: 7/29/10 9:02  
**To**: Bella Swan

Hey, apparently the whole Molly thing in the morning is a bit distracting. I'm missing a file on Volt Trucking…would you happen to have it?

Edward Cullen

Junior Partner, Watson Cullen Law

**From**: Bella Swan  
**Subject**: You Gotta Get at Least 4  
**Date**: 7/29/10 9:04  
**To**: Edward Cullen

Well, now you know why I always forget my phone in the mornings. I'm glad you got some rest though. I have the file in question, would you like me to run it over?

Bella Swan

Branch Manager, Gray Books Publishing, Inc.

**From**: Edward Cullen  
**Subject**: Rookie Mistake  
**Date**: 7/29/10 9:07  
**To**: Bella Swan

To be honest, you just have a natural inclination to leave your phone at home, let's not blame Molly. Did you know she snores? I didn't even think it was possible, but I swear the kid snores. And the file can wait, you don't have to leave work.

Edward Cullen

Father of a Snoring Kid, Watson Cullen Law

**From**: Bella Swan  
**Subject**: Nice Signature  
**Date**: 7/29/10 9:11  
**To**: Edward Cullen

You should be so proud.

And that's what interns are for.

Bella Swan,

Sick of Her Interns, Gray Books Publishing, Inc.

**From**: Edward Cullen  
**Subject**: Touché  
**Date**: 7/29/10 9:14  
**To**: Bella Swan

Good point. Send two if you must, it's a tricky building to navigate.

Edward Cullen

You're Welcome, Watson Cullen Law.

Bella was in a refreshingly good mood for the rest of the day. It was one of those times where things just went right. It was such a novel concept really, things not going awry for once. But life was good.

When she left the office that afternoon, she left it with a smile. She had done some great editing work and collaborating with Landon, something she hadn't done for a long time. She had shared a wonderful catered lunch with Angie who seemed to sense that something was up with her and Landon. She had bossed some interns around, but actual done some work with them that left her feeling strangely appreciated. And she had looked out her window and smiled for no damn reason.

She picked Molly up from daycare and found her happy as she had been when Bella had last seen her in the morning. She babbled incoherently to herself in her car seat in the back of Bella's truck, making random noises happily as they drove home. The construction that had been the bane of her existence had finally finished and that alone was enough to make her entire month better.

Edward arrived home about an hour or so after the girls did. When he walked it, an amazing smell hit his senses and he instantly lost all tension in his body. In the kitchen, Molly was in her jumper, bouncing contentedly with flour on her nose. Bella was sitting on the kitchen floor next to her, a glass of wine in one hand as she smiled at the happy little girl.

"Homemade pizza," she said, answering his unspoken question. "It should be done in like five minutes if you want to get out of the monkey suit."

"Such cheek," he replied, shaking his head with a grin as he turned towards the stairs. "This monkey suit cost $1000!" he called.

"Which furthers the name, as only someone with the intelligence of a primate would pay that much for a suit," she called back.

"Primates are incredibly smart!" he hollered back, "You need to watch more Discovery Channel!"

"Shark Week is all I need!" she yelled back.

The three of them had an evening that defined peaceful. The food that Bella made was one of the best things Edward had ever tasted and the banana cream pudding that she brought out after, made him forget about everything for the five minutes it took him to eat it. Molly had a bubble bath after, making both Edward and Bella laugh at the antics of a 14 month old girl.

After Molly's bath, Edward and her sprawled across the living room floor in front of the grand stone fireplace and played with toys. Bella curled up on the couch with her laptop and tried to get some work done but ended up unconsciously watching the two of them laugh and giggle with a smile on her face.

Sometime later, Molly pulled herself up onto the couch with her blankie and curled up against Bella's side, closing her eyes, exhausted from her day. Edward leaned back on his elbows and watched as Bella closed her laptop and pulled Molly up onto her lap, cuddling her.

Edward thought about getting some work done, but then realized that he didn't actually give a shit. He was perfectly happy to lounge on the couch next to Bella and a quickly slumbering Molly. He slipped through the channels before Bella and he both found a show they agreed on that took no energy to follow and made both of them chuckle. The Office.

The realized how late it had gotten when each of them could no longer contain their yawns. Together they took Molly upstairs and got her situated in her crib before each kissing her head and saying good night. They departed at the threshold of the nursery, each going to their own room in hopes of getting a good night sleep.

Bella was nearly asleep, or rather had drifted to sleep when she was woken up. The first thing she did was check the alarm clock to see that it was only a little past midnight. Then, she strained her ears to try and figure out what had woken her up. She guessed it was Molly, and tried to hear her cries.

It wasn't Molly she heard cry out though.

It was Edward.

Bella was out of her bed faster than she had been last night with Molly. She stumbled through the dark bedroom and down the hallway to Edward's room. She hesitated with her hand on the door knob, but when she heard him shout out, she threw open the door and rushed in.

"Edward?" she asked quietly.

"No!" he cried out. She made out the shape of him thrashing in his bed, kicking the sheets wildly around. "Taylor!" he sobbed out.

Scared but determined, Bella crossed the space to his bed and climbed on. She put her hands on his shoulders and tried to gently restrain him, something that proved difficult.

"Edward, it's okay," she said firmly.

"Taylor!" he called out in a hoarse, cracked voice.

"Edward!" Bella said frantically, trying to wake him up. Even in his sleep, tears were leaking out of his eyes and falling down his face as he continued to move.

In a flash, his eyes shot open.

By that time, Bella realized that she was literally lying on top of him having tried to restrain him. She froze, weary of everything in that moment.

Edward, however, did not freak out. He wrapped his arms around her torso tightly and pulled her closely against his body.

The sound of his harsh, ragged breathing was the only noise that filled the room.

"Edward," she whispered, running her hands through his hair, "You know it's Bella, right?" she asked gently. She didn't want him to think that the woman in his bed was his deceased wife, as that would cause utter heartbreak.

Edward's response was to tighten his arms around her as he buried his wet face into the crook of her neck, trying to control his sobs from his night terror. His words were broken, but there.

"Please stay, Bella. I just...need you here with me."

* * *

_Some nights I stay up cashing in my bad luck_  
_Some nights I call it a draw_  
_Some nights I wish that my lips could build a castle_  
_Some nights I wish they'd just fall off_

_But I still wake up, I still see your ghost_  
_Oh Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for oh_  
_What do I stand for? What do I stand for?_  
_Most nights, I don't know anymore..._

_This is it, boys, this is war - what are we waiting for?_  
_Why don't we break the rules already?_  
_I was never one to believe the hype - save that for the black and white_  
_I try twice as hard and I'm half as liked, but here they come again to jack my style_

_And that's alright; I found a martyr in my bed tonight_  
_She stops my bones from wondering_  
_Just who I am, who I am, who I am_  
_Oh, who am I? mmm... mmm..._  
Some Nights, Fun.

_*I apologize for the length of that, but those lyrics can't get any better for this chapter._

* * *

**AN:** You can thank Adrian Peterson, Christian Ponder and Blair Walsh for this early update. VIKES WIN OVER THE PACKS! Whaddup playoffs. (sorry cheeseheads; see ya next week!)

On another note, I really like this chapter. Not nearly as much as I would like the MVP for AD...but it's pretty good! Ya gotta love those emails!

Will Edward get sleep with Bella? Will their morning be awkward? Will this shared bed happen again? Edward thinks Bella is adorable? And how cute are Dadward and Molly? (: hit me up in the reviews!


	21. Finding A Way

Finding A Way.

When life sends you on those detours, throws you curve balls or just plain fucks you up, -whatever you want to call it- the important thing is how you react to these events.

Sometimes, he was learning, that you just need to do all that you can to get past all the shit.

There's no manual or lesson plan on how to get through bad things. Yes, people can give you advice, but that will only go so far. The bottom line is that you have to figure out how you can get through whatever you're going through. If you don't find a way to do it, who do you expect to do it for you?

Eventually you have nothing left to do but simply throw your hands in the air and accept defeat. Accept that you can't do it alone.

And ask for help.

Because in life, we all need a little help.

~O~

Edward was the first one to shift into awareness from sleep.

The first thing that he was aware of as he woke up was warmth. There was a source of soft heat that was pressed against his side that he at first did not recognize.

As he blinked into awareness and stretched his left arm out, he was startled to find Bella's body pressed against him. She was lying on her side, opposed to him who had woke on his back. Her own small back was pressed against his side, her hands somehow folded under her face as she slept.

Edward lifted his head slightly to peer over at her to see if she was awake. When he only saw her eyelids, he let his head fall back against his pillow. For a brief moment he had trouble recalling what had led them to this interesting situation.

He had been having a dream, he remembered. It hadn't been a new dream, but rather a recurring sequence which haunted him night and day.

In the dream, he was with Taylor. His mind had created the few minutes which led up to the accident and it was terrifying. He always found himself in the car with her, and while he could speak and shout at her to watch out for the straying semi, she was never able to hear him. That fact alone was what made it into a nightmare.

He wasn't sure how Bella had known he was dreaming, but somehow, she had ended up in his bedroom and had shaken him awake just before the truck impacted Taylor's car. He vaguely recalled asking her to stay and when he remembered his words, he closed his eyes and dropped his arm over his eyes in shame.

It shouldn't take a body next to him for a grown man to be able to calm down. He shouldn't need Bella beside him to be able to fucking fall asleep.

It was then that he realized that the first light of the morning was slipping through the bedroom blinds. _What the hell?_ he wondered to himself. _It can't actually be morning already…can it?_

But it was. Somehow, the night had faded into a new day. It wasn't this fact that shocked him, as it was hardly an uncommon occurrence.

It was the fact that he had slept through the night.

Edward had actually gotten his first full night of sleep in two months. The idea confused the hell out of him and left in a disbelieving awe.

Fuck, he felt rested.

Never mind the fact that he had indeed woken up in the middle of the night and probably would have been up for the rest of the night had it not been for Bella…he had gotten a good night's rest.

Holy shit. It just wasn't something that happened anymore. In fact, he had been losing hope that he would ever sleep through the night again in his life. But it had happened, by holding Bella and just feeling an overwhelming sense of being…cared for.

Edward didn't think it was the fact that he needed a woman in his bed to sleep. Before Taylor had passed away, he had been more than capable of falling asleep on his office couch, or in hotels when he was away on business without her. It wasn't that Bella had just replaced Taylor and been able to lull him to sleep. He had known it was Bella.

He had been under no illusions when he wrapped his arms around Bella the previous night. Not for a second had he believed it was Taylor. It was the emotions that were triggered when he saw Bella that made him do it.

Bella, like Molly, represented what was still good and pure in his life. Bella as a person embodied many qualities that had made him react the way he did the previous night. Bella was kind though she usually hid behind sarcasm, she was incredibly caring even in a sometimes stubborn way…she was strong. She was safety. She was fierce, fierce protector. She was a friend.

And those are the only conscious thoughts that had crossed his mind when he saw her.

She was a way.

She has been since the beginning and every day since then, a way to get through the day. She'd been a way to face life again and keep going. Edward was surprised but confident in this revelation, but the words fit and echoed through his mind. Bella's a way.

Bella, oblivious to the musings of the man lying next to her, slowly wiggled her body as she woke up from sleep. She was alert almost instantly when she felt the warm, firm body pressing against her back. _Shit_, she cursed silently.

Cautiously, and wholly prepared for shit to hit the fan, she turned off of her side and rolled onto her back, looking over at Edward. He was lying next to her with his arm thrown over his eyes and she wasn't sure if he was asleep or not.

Her question was answered a second later when Edward dropped his arm away from his face and he looked over at her with his startling green eyes.

For a moment, they both stared at each other. They stared at each other with a look of two animals examining each other, curious as to how the other would react.

Finally, it was Bella who spoke.

"I'd say good morning, but I'm finding this a little odd."

Edward cracked a sleepy grin. "Glad we're on the same page there."

Bella fell against the pillow and closed her eyes, feeling every bit as awkward as she had just said, and yet...not.

"I think the acknowledging that it's awkward has just made the problem worse," she pointed out, not opening her eyes.

"Would me agreeing again just worsen the problem?" he asked with a smile in his voice.

"Definitely."

After a moment where Bella curiously wondered what time it was and if they had both overslept, she opened her eyes and turned to him. She propped herself on her elbow and looked at him, meeting his unreadable gaze.

"Did I just make you uncomfortable all night?" she asked worriedly. "Did you get any sleep at all?"

Edward couldn't keep the triumphant, yet small smile from spreading on his face. "Actually I did. I only woke up a couple minutes before you."

Bella reeled back in surprise. "For the first time?" she wondered with a hesitant smile.

Edward grinned. "Yup."

Bella positively beamed back at him.

"Is high fiving too much in this situation?" she asked.

"Nope. Hit me."

Edward held up his hand and Bella smacked her own against it. Instead of moving their hands apart, Edward laced his fingers down to hold her small hand captive.

"Thank you for me waking me up last night."

Bella's face lost some of its happiness at his more somber words. "Were you having the dream that you were talking about the other day?"

Edward nodded.

He felt a soft squeeze against his hand.

"You're welcome."

They stared at each other with an intensity that Bella was captivated by for only a moment before she blinked and broke their gaze.

"What time is it?" she wondered.

Their hands fell apart as each of them twisted around, looking to spot a clock somewhere in the room. Edward stretched over Bella for his phone that was on the end table near the side of the bed which she had ended up on.

"Fuck," he said when he saw the time. "7:09."

Edward had to leave the house in less than 30 minutes to get to work on time and Bella had to follow only 20 minutes after that. Fuck, indeed.

"I'll get the monster, you get dressed and try to look presentable," Bella told him as they each scrambled to get out of bed.

"Did you just call my kid a monster?" Edward asked just as Bella opened the door to slip out.

She turned back and gave him a decidedly sassy grin. "My little monster."

"She's getting it from you!" he called back as she slipped into the hallway.

Hearing her laugh in response made him shake his head and roll his eyes, yet he couldn't fight a smile.

Bella's the way.

He couldn't do it without her.

~O~

Edward made it into the firm with a whole two minutes to spare. He had managed to shave off the 5 o'clock shadow, gel his hair back somewhat and get some coffee into his system, even though he was refreshingly awake to begin with.

He was not allowed much time to settle in, as when he turned the corner to his office, he saw that Emmett and Carlisle were already waiting for him at the table. He raised his eyebrow at Lily as she handed him a few things.

"What?" she defended, "I thought your rule was that no one, except your family, is allowed in your office before you've finished your first coffee."

He rolled his eyes. "First of all, it's everyone, including my family, especially Emmett…and I haven't finished that first coffee yet."

"We should really work out a system so that I'll know preemptively how much caffeine you've had."

"Better get on that," he replied. He didn't miss the eye roll he received and he smirked as he opened the door to his office.

"Bro! Where are the bags?" Emmett asked, eying Edward as he sat his briefcase on his desk.

Carlisle sighed exasperatedly. "Emmett, how many times have I told you not to say the word 'bro' while at the firm? It's shockingly unprofessional."

"My bad," Emmett muttered with no intent to stop with the name.

"What bags?" Edward asked, referring to Emmett's original question.

"Under your eyes," he told him. "Are you wearing makeup?"

Edward slapped at Emmett's hand when he started to poke at his face.

"No, I'm not wearing makeup. Some of us don't really do that shit, despite if Rose tells you it's okay."

Emmett huffed. "That was once and I thought it was agreed that it would not be brought up again."

"If you two are done reminding me of the time when I was the father of teenage boys…?" Carlisle asked with a raised eyebrow at his sons. Edward fought the urge to roll his eyes as his father was hardly irritated.

"We're done," Edward confirmed, raising his eyebrow at Emmett who looked offended.

Carlisle rolled his eyes. He straightened a stack of files he had in front of him, and the humor in his eyes faded.

"How are you coming along with the trucker's logs, Emmett?" he asked. The elder Cullen son sobered up as he opened his own files.

"Well, I have entirely completed four of them. That leaves me with…what? Like twelve more?"

"Twelve for now. You're currently looking into the logs of the more senior employees and once you finish those and if we don't find what we're looking for, we'll keep looking into the newer employees."

Edward had to give his brother credit. The work he was doing was tedious and somewhat boring and it involved a lot of circumnavigating. But Emmett didn't seem fazed by his father's comments and merely nodded in agreement.

"Alright," Carlisle continued, "So there were two out of the four that Emmett looked into that have red flags. Edward, you've been checking those two out?"

Edward nodded, looking at his own notes. "Jon Brady and Rita Sunders. They are both middle aged and have nothing in common other than the hours they work. From what Emmett has gathered, each of them have put in as long as 17 hour shifts, which exceed the limit by 3 hours, and their driving time in the shift exceeds the 11 hour limit by as many as 5 hours in Rita's case."

"And you're positive about that?" the managing partner asked.

"Absolutely."

"Alright, if you're up to date with what Emmett's given you, I have another task for you."

Edward waited as his father slipped glasses onto his nose and looked down at a thinner file.

"Two years ago, Volt Trucking fired one of their employees. She wasn't a trucker, but worked on the lower chain of management. Her name is Stephanie Nain, and she's 28, married to a Michael Nain and from my understanding, has three year old twins. I need you to go and talk to her."

"I can do that," he nodded. "Where does she live?"

After Edward scratched her address down, he had assumed the small meeting they were having would be over. His dad didn't agree.

"One last thing Edward…I would like you to ask Bella to go with you when you speak with her."

"Why?"

Carlisle heard his son's tone, but didn't acknowledge it. "Because she's a woman in Mrs. Nain's demographic. And people like Bella; she's good with them."

"And I'm not?" he asked, somewhat insulted.

Emmett hid his chuckle with a cough.

Carlisle eyed Emmett with exasperation before turning back to Edward. "You are, but the fact of the matter is that you're a lawyer…and people don't always like us."

"Is it the suit? I can change clothes, you know."

"Just take Bella," Emmett interjected.

"How do you know she wants to? Last time I heard from her, she didn't sound like she wanted anything to do with this case."

"Well, as she is living with you, I don't think you're at a shortage of times to speak with her, so please just ask."

Edward sensed that the argument was futile. He recognized that it was a good idea to bring a woman with, but he was very wary of Bella's reaction. They hadn't spoken about the case since he had essentially yelled at her in his office.

"I'll talk to her."

The next few days passed by…well, with tension.

Despite his promise to his father, Edward had yet to speak to Bella about visiting the Nain residence. He had been lacking not only an opportunity, but the words to ask. He was getting edgier by the day, as he knew he needed to speak with the woman as soon as possible, and that would require Bella.

But the one thing that really contributed to this growing tension was the lack of sleep he was experiencing.

In the three nights that followed his and Bella's interesting night together, he had gotten a total of six hours of sleep. Six hours in a total of seventy two hours. He was back to living on coffee and being bone tired day in and day out.

He just couldn't sleep.

And he hated the whole insomnia thing. It was driving him insane. And how stressed he was about his lack of sleep was contributing to the problem greatly. When one lies awake in bed and thinks about how much they need to get sleep, it's counterproductive to actually getting said sleep.

After the first night when morning came, Edward had reached a conclusion. And it wasn't a conclusion that he was entirely thrilled about it, as it seemed beyond the realm of his control.

Having Bella with him allowed him to sleep.

_She's the way_, he remembered a tad bit ruefully_, she's the way to my sleep_.

But what the fucking hell was he supposed to do about that? She was his wife's best friend who was living in his house to honor Taylor's last known request and help him with Molly. She wasn't there to chase away his nightmares or be in charge in anyway of his sleeping patterns.

So where did that leave him?

Bella was clearly able to get sleep on her own. Granted she herself had acknowledged it was only a few hours a night…but she managed. She didn't need him the way he was discovering that he needed her.

She was the key to his sleep. But he wasn't really comfortable asking her to come into his bed with him so that he could get a good night's sleep. It was weird and he didn't even want to guess what her reaction would be.

A voice at the back of his head whispered, _but when has Bella been anything less than kind and good to you? _

He was resigned to the fact that asking her would put them in a situation even odder than the one they were already in. He would have to find a way to get to sleep. Without her.

It was on the fourth day when he lost this resolution.

He had had three cups of coffee, had a pounding headache, the bags under his eyes were back and he had to be in court the next morning. It was housing court, so it was hardly a dire case, but he wanted to be on his A-game regardless.

But at dinner that evening as he fed Molly while eating bites of his own chicken, things didn't entirely go according to plan. He had been anticipating asking Bella about the whole sleep thing, but when he tried, he ended up spitting something else out.

"My dad wanted to know if you would come with me to talk to an ex-employee for a case we're doing."

Bella's fork froze on her way to her mouth. She recovered and slowly lifted the food into her mouth and chewed while giving him a raised eyebrow.

"_A case we're doing_? You mean the case against the trucking company that hit Taylor?"

"Well, technically, it wasn't the trucking company itself that hit her…" he explained.

"Exactly."

Edward looked up at her in surprise, impressed at what she had just managed to get out of him. The woman would have made a hell of a lawyer.

"She was fired a couple years ago, and you'd be there-"

"For girl talk?" Bella asked, seeming somewhat amused by the idea.

Edward rolled his eyes. "Yes, I believe that's what my dad had in mind actually."

"You know, I'd really rather not be involved in this case…I'm kind of a passive aggressive person-"

"Which I find surprising," he interjected.

"You're not the first, but that's not the point. I'll go with you to talk to her, but only because I want my life to be like Law & Order for a short amount of time. Not because I agree with this."

Also, and perhaps mostly importantly, she had a hard time saying no to him, not that that would be something she would admit.

"Inspiring."

"I thought as much."

Edward rolled his eyes and for the time being, was too thankful and forgot about asking her to sleep with him, for lack of a better phrase.

He remembered, however, after Molly had been put to bed and Bella started yawning and saying she was right behind her. Still not sure what to say, and finding it a worse and worse idea by the minute, Edward followed her up the stairs and went to his own bedroom and bathroom.

_While shit_, he thought to himself as he brushed his teeth, _I really did need some sleep tonight._

After he left the bathroom having changed into his pajamas, he got into his bed but made no move to turn off the bed side lamp. Maybe he should just leave them on, read a book or something borderline productive.

It was a few minutes later when his door creaked open and Bella entered the room. Well, she didn't enter entirely, as she merely leaned her body against the door frame and looked at Edward who had sat up straighter.

"How much sleep have you gotten in the past three days?" she asked simply.

Edward grimaced. "About six hours total, give or take."

Bella frowned as she gazed at him.

"Edward, did you really get a full night of sleep the other evening when I was in here?"

He nodded slowly.

Bella sighed. "You know, it's okay to ask for help."

It was his turn to let out a quiet breath. "Is it okay when you've already asked so much of that person?"

She nodded.

"I sometimes feel like I just am so much weaker than you," he admitted, looking down at the bed comforter.

"You're not," she said quietly, "We had different relationships with her despite the fact that we both loved her, and we're each having different issues."

She wanted to add that she was somewhat afraid of a tennis racket these days, but decided to leave that out. That was shit for another day.

"I just feel like this is all so fucked up," he mumbled.

Bella barely held back her snort. "You're telling me."

"Well in that case, yes. The first full night of sleep I have gotten in over a month was with you by me, okay?"

"I'll stay with you Edward, without hesitation, if you need me."

Edward looked up from the blanket and met her gaze. He saw only sincerity in her warm brown eyes. He knew this offer could not be coming from a better, purer place.

"I just really want to sleep again…and I've tried everything and nothing works and you're the only way."

Bella took that as a yes.

She crossed the bedroom over to the bed, and slipped under the covers without a word.

"Giving up doesn't always mean that you are weak, you know. Sometimes it just means that you're strong enough to let go and ask for help."

In response Edward flipped off the lamp. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and she cuddled up against him. And all of the awkwardness seemed to fade away. Because while some people would judge, they didn't have the right to, because the life they were living was theirs and it was the best they could do.

"Good night, Bella."

"Sweet dreams, Edward."

* * *

_I can't stand to fly, I'm not that naive_  
_I'm just out to find, the better part of me _  
_I'm more than a bird:I'm more than a plane_  
_More than some pretty face beside a train_  
_It's not easy to be me _

_Wish that I could cry, fall upon my knees_  
_Find a way to lie, about a home I'll never see _

_It may sound absurd:but don't be naive_  
_Even Heroes have the right to bleed_  
_I may be disturbed:but won't you concede _  
_Even Heroes have the right to dream_  
_It's not easy to be me _

_Up, up and away:away from me_  
_It's all right:You can all sleep sound tonight_  
_I'm not crazy:or anything: _  
Superman (It's Not Easy,) Five for Fighting

* * *

**AN:** AWWW! I just love them. So, it was a little awkward in the morning, yet not really at all for them. And a couple days had to pass before Bella could pluck up her own courage to help him, and for Edward to realize he truly needed it.

Go Vikes! I encourage all my fellow USA residents to watch the Vikings vs. Packers game tonight! Ya'll know I'll be muttering to myself and jumping around the whole time. If the Vikes win (which might be a bit of stretch,) you'll get an uber early update!

How will Edward and Bella work together professionally? Was that the last time Edward will ever have that nightmare again? And how about that high five? What about Landon? Hit me up! (:


	22. Retaliation

Retaliation.

By retaliating, one is fighting back. They are saying that they are finally done with all the shit they have been putting up with, and they will fight back.

He had always been a competitive, driven person. And now that he had a purpose, something to drive him even harder, he would not be backing down. The trucking company had done something unforgivable and he would be retaliating.

Retaliation can sometimes be more subtle, and a less confrontational thing. Sometimes retaliating simply means that you're not going to accept your emotions or ideas and you were going to change them, no matter how challenging.

It was those wars with yourself that were sometimes the most difficult.

But he was waging war on the force that had taken his life away from him. And he would win.

~O~

"Why am I wearing jeans again?" Bella asked, anxiously crossing her legs one over the other.

Edward didn't take his eyes off the road. "I thought it was your idea."

"Only because you were too dense to suggest it," she retorted.

"Because I knew you already had it figured out," he grinned. "You know, your intelligence level has always surpassed mine."

Bella rolled her eyes and scoffed. "I'm already here, so don't start the flattery now."

"And my dad thought you were good with people…why?" he smirked.

"It's something I can turn off and on," she replied haughtily.

"That must have come in useful during college."

"Oh, you better believe it."

Edward glanced over at her and saw her uncross her legs and recross them before strumming her fingers on the armrest of the seat.

He sighed.

"Will you stop fidgeting please?"

Bella narrowed her eyes at him. "Your suit is unsettling. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"And that's why you're in jeans," he replied.

"Why aren't you in jeans?" she demanded.

Edward would say he was growing exasperated, but he had actually passed exasperated about ten minutes ago. "Because one of us has to look professional."

"It can't be me, why?" she questioned.

"Because I'm the lawyer," he replied, exasperated. He was silently glad of the amount of sleep he had received in the past two days, because otherwise, he would be banging his head on the steering wheel by now. Not that the thought wasn't tempting as is.

Sharing a bed with Bella was still interesting and rather tentative…but it was working. Having her near him allowed him to get over eight hours of sleep, depending on when they turned in. It should have been awkward, but for some unknown reason, it really wasn't.

True to her word, Bella had agreed to go and visit Stephanie Nain and try to learn more about her termination of Volt Trucking. She hadn't wanted to get involved in the case, but found it was hard to say no to Edward.

Bella didn't agree with what they were doing. They were taking on this case with the intent to run the company out of business, one way or another. But she understood why the Cullen men were taking on the case with such a malicious, blood thirsty intent. She was angry too. She hated the unnecessary way Taylor died, but the man who hit her was already being prosecuted in a court of law.

So, that morning, she had pulled on a pair of dark jeans and a nice blouse, ready for the unexpected. It was a Friday and she had no meetings, so she was able to get away with wearing that outfit to work after they were finished at the Nain residence. She had dressed more casually in hopes of appearing less intimidating to the woman they needed to speak to.

"Oh thank God, we're almost here…" Edward muttered to himself as he turned onto the street where Mrs. Nain resided.

Bella shot him a less than amused look.

"I resent that," she informed him.

"Fair enough," he agreed as he pulled into the driveway of the house that matched the street number he had been given.

It was essentially the definition of a suburban house. It was two stories and nice. The yard was littered with plastic vehicles that a child would ride, chalk was scribbled on the driveway and there was even a wood picket fence on one side of the yard.

"So, I'm just supposed to follow your lead?" she asked as they unbuckled their seatbelts.

"That would be great, yes."

"Well then let's do this shit."

Edward silently chuckled to himself as Bella opened her car door and confidently let her heels hit the pavement. She was a confident woman in every way possible, and he had to admit that he really admired her for that.

Once he had caught up with her stride and they reached the front door, Bella rang the doorbell. They heard the ring inside the house which was followed by a dog bark and some chaos.

A woman in her late twenties answered the door. Edward had to assume it was Stephanie. She had her blonde hair thrown in a messy bun on the top of her head, a tank top on and sweatpants. She had a young little boy settled on her hip, and even though her brown eyes were tired, Edward recognized the curiosity in them as well.

"Hello, can I help you?" she asked.

Edward offered her what he hoped wasn't an arrogant smile. "Are you Mrs. Nain?" he inquired pleasantly.

"I am," she replied, her tone quizzical.

"I'm Edward Cullen. We're here from Watson Cullen Law and we were wondering if we could have a moment of your time?" he asked.

Before the woman could reply, probably decline, Bella spoke. "What's this little guy's name?" she asked with a smile.

"Andrew," Stephanie answered, smiling down at her son.

"He's incredibly adorable," Bella complimented with utter sincerity.

"Thank you. Do you have kids?" she asked.

Bella shook her head. "No, not of my own yet. Someday though."

The mom nodded in a womanly understanding that left Edward somewhat baffled.

Bella had diverted the question, why?

"Is he your only one?" Bella wondered.

Stephanie shook her head. "No," she replied, "He's one of two. He has a twin sister named Katie."

"Twins? That must be a handful!" Bella exclaimed, a smile on her face, "I bet they keep you busy."

"Oh yes," she agreed heartily.

The little girl of the conversation came into view. She was very cute, just like her brother. But unlike her brother who had his face tucked against his mom, she seemed much less shy.

Edward was surprised when the toddler walked around her mom's legs and came over to him. She held her little fist up to him, and looked up with big brown eyes sparkling with a lovely innocence.

Knowing what she wanted, Edward crouched down where he was standing on the welcome mat. He offered her his own fist, which she beamed at and bumped with her own. He chuckled at her silly giggle.

"I'm sorry, it's one of her more interesting habits."

Edward looked up at the mom and offered her a smile. "Don't worry about it; I have a daughter of my own."

"Oh, how old?" she asked, addressing him in a friendlier way that she had been with Bella.

"Just about 14 months," he smiled. He stood up from his crouch and addressed Stephanie with a more serious look. "She's actually why I'm here."

"I'm not following you," she admitted.

"As I mentioned before, Mrs. Nain, I'm a junior partner at Watson Cullen Law, and we're suing Volt Trucking. As your employment was terminated from that company two years ago, we are here to see if maybe you could help us?

Stephanie immediately lost the friendliness that had edged into her voice. In fact, she put her hand on the door to make a move to close it. "No, I'm sorry, I don't think I can."

"Wait," Edward said before she could close the door. "We just want to know if you know anything that can help us."

"Why should I?" she challenged.

Edward opened his mouth to respond, maybe even tell his story, but the words got caught in his throat and he found himself unable to speak. Bella glanced over at him and saw the faraway look in his eyes and frowned.

"Mrs. Nain, as my partner said, we are here for his daughter," Bella said with a soft, calming tone. "She is growing up without a mother because of an accident caused by reckless law breaking of Volt Trucking. This is very important; otherwise we would not be here."

Stephanie's eyes widened as she reacted to the words. Letting out a short gasp, she looked over at Edward with true sympathy in her eyes.

"I'm very sorry for your loss."

"Thank you," Edward said quietly.

"How exactly did Volt Trucking break the law?" she inquired, looking over to Bella now.

Bella sighed. "They were letting their drivers overextend the shifts and their legal maximum time."

"I worried as much."

Edward and Bella exchanged glances before looking back at Stephanie, their eyebrows raised.

"Pardon?" Bella asked.

"Look," she sighed, "I'm truly sorry for your loss. I would like to help you but there's not much I think I can do. I need to talk to my husband before I agree to anything though."

Bella nodded in understanding, but Edward pushed just a little bit further.

"Thank you, Mrs. Nain…one last thing; could you tell us why you lost your employment there?"

Mrs. Nain shifted her son on her hip and let out a shallow breath. The lines on her face were grimly set as she spoke.

"I was fired because I threatened to report Volt for not adhering to the labor laws and shift requirements."

~O~

**From**: Edward Cullen  
**Subject**: It Was The Jeans  
**Date**: 8/8/10 4:07  
**To**: Bella Swan

I just got a call from Mrs. Nain. She's coming into the firm on Monday to discuss more about her termination and her accusations of their misdeeds.

We got 'em.

Edward Cullen  
Junior Partner, Watson Cullen Law

**From**: Bella Swan  
**Subject**: Damn Right It Was  
**Date**: 8/8/10 4:13  
**To**: Edward Cullen

Well that was quick. Do you usually get a response within hours? Or was it just my shining personality that convinced her? Rhetorical question by the way. We both know it was the latter.

Good luck with the rest of the case, because my short career in law is over.

Bella Swan  
Branch Manager, Gray Books Publishing, Inc.

**From**: Edward Cullen  
**Subject**: Thank You For Your Suffering  
**Date**: 8/8/10 4:17  
**To**: Bella Swan

Well of course it was the shining personality of yours. That goes without saying!

I really appreciate your help; you saved my ass from the second we started talking to her.

I'll pick up dinner tonight…any requests?

Edward Cullen  
In Your Debt, Watson Cullen Law

**From**: Bella Swan  
**Subject**: You Are Welcome  
**Date**: 8/8/10 4:22  
**To**: Edward Cullen

What can I say? I'm great at girl talk.

Something fattening and greasy please!

Bella Swan  
Branch Manager, Gray Books Publishing Inc.

There was a knock on her office door just as she was closing her laptop. "Come in!" she called.

Landon, who never really did adhere to casual Friday, was looking impeccable as ever in a black dress shirt with the top few buttons open and grey slacks which were form fitting and fantastic in Bella's eyes.

His confidence had noticeably risen over the past week. Landon was no longer an intern, but rather a paid employee. He was now the assistant of Carson Pawn, the director of marketing. One of the perks of this was that he was still on Bella's floor.

He had a box in his hand, one you would get at clothing stores. She grinned at him and he returned the smile easily.

"Getting ready to head home?" he asked.

"Well, I have to wait for Edward to pick me up because he dropped me off, but yes I am!" she said cheerily, glad to have the weekend here.

"Plans for the evenings?" he asked with a curiously raised eyebrow.

"I think they play the Big Bang Theory on Friday nights," she informed him.

"What would you say if I told you I could make those already great plans even better?" he asked.

She finished putting her laptop in her carrier case and looked up at him with a smirk. "I would question if you've ever actually seen the show, and tell you that those plans can't get any greater."

"Your sarcasm is adorable."

"I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not."

"The beauty of sarcasm as one would have it."

Bella rolled her eyes but didn't hide her smile. "What's in the box?" she wondered.

"Well, I figured that last time we tried to do this we hit a wall…so I took it upon myself to do things a little differently." And with that exceedingly vague answer, Landon handed her the box he had been holding.

Curiosity getting the best of her, Bella withheld any comments as she took the box and opened it. She lifted the shirt that was folded in it out and examined it.

"Why am I holding a Twins shirt?" she asked, looking at the baseball team shirt and then over at him.

"For the same reason I'm holding two Twins tickets," he said, holding up two tickets in his hand with a grin.

Bella looked again at the shirt and then back at him. Her eyes watered slightly as she realized the implications behind the incredibly sweet gesture. She hadn't been able to do the date they had planned due to stress and the absence of Taylor and the thing that had set her off had been choosing an outfit. Landon had eliminated both elements that had upset her last time, making it spontaneous and even choosing her clothes for her.

Without a word, Bella crossed the space between them and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. His arms came around her waist and he held her back with matched silence.

"This is wonderful, Landon," she whispered.

"As long as you can deal with company," he whispered back with a soft chuckle.

Bella pulled back from embrace and smiled brightly at him. "I don't think that should be a problem."

Landon kissed her cheek softly and smiled in return. "Well then let's get going. The game starts in an hour."

He offered her his hand which she laced her fingers through, slinging her bag over her other shoulder. "You're going to change, right? Otherwise I might have a wee issue dealing with the company," she informed him as they left her office.

"You don't like the attire?" he asked with a smirk.

"Oh I like the attire," she told him, "But you would look like an asshole at a baseball game."

"Really?" he asked as she pushed the elevator button, "This screams asshole?"

"In certain places?" she asked, "Oh yeah."

"Interesting," he commented, letting her step into the elevator first.

"I mean seeing as how you're the polar opposite of an asshole, I'm just letting you know!"

An hour later and a quick clothes change in Landon's case (Bella was easily able to slip the new shirt on) they were sitting in the stands right in line with first base. Landon had bought both of them a beer and they were settling in as the baseball team's lineup was announced.

"So," Landon said, making her turn her eyes from the field and give him a smile, "As this is our first date and you already know my story, tell me about your life until now."

Bella made a face but decided to humor him. "Well, I grew up about 20 minutes away from here, in the city where Edward and Taylor's house is. My parents sent me to a parochial grade school but a public high school in an effort to make me a more diverse person. My graduating class had 375 people and I was number 2 in my class with Taylor being ahead of me by .008%."

".008?" Landon interjected with a chuckle.

Bella rolled her eyes but fought a smile. "It was the damn A- I got freshman year in Geometry one semester. Still a sore subject."

"Of course. Continue," he grinned, gesturing to her.

"I don't know if you know this or not, but I played Division I tennis at the U of M for four years."

Landon's eyes widened. "Holy shit, did you really?"

She smirked. "That's the tone of surprise I get whenever someone finds out that I used to be incredibly athletic."

"Well, come on, D1? That's amazing!" he exclaimed, causing a few people around them to look at him.

"I couldn't have done it without Taylor. She was my doubles partner my entire life and without her, we wouldn't have won state our senior year or junior year for that matter."

"And she didn't go on to play in college?" he wondered.

Bella shook her head. "After ten years of it, Taylor had gotten a little burned out from tennis. She fell in love with a Division III college a few minutes from mine and agreed to play for them for two years, but it wasn't too competitive."

She thought back to where she had been before they had gone off track. "After my junior year at the U, I got accepted into an internship at Gray Books in the New York office. Somehow or another Mr. Collins, CEO of Gray Books, had heard me make a rather sarcastic yet still informed comment and told me, 'I like you kid, you've got spunk.' I managed to be his intern that summer after that. And when I was finished with college, that spunk got me a job at the northern branch of the publishing company."

"Which you promptly became the head of?" he asked, teasing in his voice.

Bella grinned. "It took two years, thank you very much. But yes, I did promptly become the head of the branch, which if you haven't already gathered, is awesome."

"I think it's amazing how much you love your job," he told her. "More people should just listen to their heart and find what they really want to do."

She shrugged. "I thought about being a lawyer for a while actually. I was really close to declaring a pre-law major in college."

"What changed your mind?" he wondered.

"It was a combination of my tennis coach Kessler and Taylor. Taylor and I always use to go back to our high school and help him out with the program before school started. We were having a conversation about our futures and when I mentioned law my coach gave me a funny look and said,_ 'What the hell, kid? That's really what you want to do?'_"

"Sounds supportive."

Bella rolled her eyes. "You have no idea." She would have to give that sarcastic coach a call one of these days.

"Anyway, I didn't really have an answer for him so he went on to say '_You're passionate about a lot of things Swan and I know if you set your mind to it you would be one hell of a lawyer. But is that what you want to do?'_ And I kind of thought to myself, you know, _is it?_ And Taylor interjected,_ 'Bella, we've talked about this. I think you should do something you love, no matter how insane you think it may be.'_"

Landon stayed silent and continued to listen as Bella remembered the conversation that had changed her life.

"You know how tennis players get a short break after every two games during the match?" she asked.

He nodded.

"Well," she said with a sheepish embarrassment, "I _may_ have brought a book to a match once and read it during that less than five minute break," she admitted.

Landon didn't try to contain his laughter. Bella blushed slightly, remembering how much shit she had gotten for that for years from her team.

"So, anyway, that one day, Kessler said _'You love books to the point of it being obsessive and I'm thinking the match with the Harry Potter book speaks for itself. Why don't you do something with that?' _And I had said,_ 'There are no jobs in the field of books!'_" She smirked at the irony of contradiction of her life now and her words then.

"And Taylor said, _'Bella, look who you are. You do whatever the hell you want and if the world tells you no, you ignore it. If you love books then why wouldn't do something with them? Don't set yourself up for a career that will make you miserable before it even begins.'_"

Bella smiled distantly, remembering Taylor and missing her and their talks, some of which were quite literally life changing.

"So here I am," she finished with a shrug.

"Here you are," he agreed.

Bella opened her mouth to say something, but the roar of the crowd in the outdoor stadium interrupted. Landon and her looked over to the field and when they saw one of the more popular players running into home base, they stood up and clapped, whooping and hollering with the rest of the section.

When the crowd was back in their seats, Landon had settled his arm on the back of Bella's seat, casual but still very much there.

"So I have Taylor to thank for you being here, huh?" he asked.

Bella thought about it and realized there was no way she would have met the guy next to her without the intervention of her friend nearly six years ago. Taylor had, in a way, brought them together.

"Yeah," Bella smiled, "I guess you do."

Before either one of them could say more, Bella felt her phone buzz. She wiggled and pulled the iPhone out of her back pocket while Landon took a sip of his beer. She saw that it was Edward texting her.

-_She's watching for you on the big screen. _

He had attached a picture of Molly sitting on the floor in front of the TV, her head tilted up to look at the screen which was clearly showing the baseball game they were currently at.

Bella smiled at the picture that made her just want to scoop the little girl up and nuzzle her nose. The grin was on her face as she texted a response.

-_Emmett will be thrilled that he instilled a love of baseball in the girl._

Bella turned to Landon who was politely looking out at the baseball game instead of trying to read over her shoulder. She showed him the picture Edward had sent and watched him grin at the adorable little girl.

"My God she's cute," he said, shaking his head.

Her phone buzzed again and she read Edward's response.

-_I don't know about that. But whenever a woman is on the screen she points. Even if she's 70. You should probably be offended by that._

She again responded with a smile.

_-Give her an extra kiss for me!_

_-Will do. Be home by ten, young lady!_

Bella laughed at his response before she tucked the phone back into her pocket and settled back into her seat, a content smile on her face.

Landon looked over at her with a funny, almost quizzical grin on his face.

"What?" she asked with a laugh.

"You really love that little girl, don't you?"

Bella gave him a soft grin. "Yeah, I really do. I'd do anything for her."

"And you're an amazing person because of it."

* * *

_93 million miles from the Sun, people get ready get ready,_  
_'cause here it comes it's a light, a beautiful light, over the horizon into our eyes_  
_Oh, my my how beautiful, oh my beautiful mother_  
_She told me, "Son in life you're gonna go far,_  
_And if you do it right you'll love where you are_  
_Just know, that wherever you go, you can always come home"_

_Every road is a slippery slope_  
_There is always a hand that you can hold on to._  
_Looking deeper through the telescope_  
_You can see that your home's inside of you._

_Just know, that wherever you go,_  
_No you're never alone,_  
_You will always get back home_  
93 Million Miles, Jason Mraz

* * *

**AN:** Well, as this update is on time, I'm sure you can deduce that the Vikings lost their game in a somewhat embarrassing fashion. That does conclude my annoying NFL tweets tho! You're welcome.

This was as about as "graphic" as it'll get between Bella and Landon. You guys have endured enough lack of canon in this story! Hang with me, it's all about plot development (;

Show of hands: you like Landon? Think he's good for Bella, someone to have to herself? Don't like him? Need time to jump and Edward to get going? Don't need time to jump? What do you think about learning more about Bella? Lemme know!


	23. Memories

Memories.

As you go through life and rack up years, you also gain something far more valuable and worthy to measure your life by: memories.

These moments can be remembered by looking at an old picture, watching home videos, seeing a lost friend or simply staring off and remembering a time from long ago. They can be found all over.

Sometimes, memories are more painful than others. Sometimes one remembers the bad times, but with the bad times they realize that those times are what shaped them into the person they are today.

But all memories, good or bad, are valuable. We find joy in these times, we learn from them, we remember sorrow and we never forget them.

Because sometimes, memories are all you have left.

~O~

"When did my garage become such a mess?" Edward complained with a groan.

Bella had to agree with the assessment, but was not sure she knew the answer.

The two of them stood on the threshold of the door that connected the house to the garage and stared at the space with a sense of dread. Molly, who was tucked in Edward's arms, seemed indifferent to the whole thing.

"I can honestly say that I'm not at fault for this one," she replied, not taking her eyes off of the loads of crap that was all over the space.

"How do I even own this much shit?" he wondered.

"Well," she sighed, stepping down the step, "Let's get started so we can make it to your parents for dinner tonight."

"But," Edward protested, "That's not until 6 tonight. It's not even 11 in the morning yet."

Bella gestured to all of the stuff. "My point exactly.

Edward opened his mouth to argue but then realized that she was completely right.

So, Edward settled Molly into her jumper, which they had moved outside into the space, and Bella turned on the radio. This whole cleaning the garage thing was brought on by a question the previous night from Edward. "So why don't you park in the garage anyways?"

"Because you park in it," she replied with a shrug.

"But it's a two stall garage," he responded.

"Have you looked in it lately?" she had asked, "You can barely fit one car in it."

And he had realized that she was right. So he had decided that he would spend his Saturday cleaning the garage and she had agreed to help, because she honestly didn't have anything better to do.

"Where do we even start?" he asked while Molly started bouncing happily.

Bella looked around with her hands on her hips. She pointed over to the wall of shelving against the empty stall of the garage. "I'll start clearing everything off of that and we'll see if we can do some reorganizing." She then nodded to a stack of boxes and various other junk which was against the wall perpendicular to it. "You start going through that and then we'll reevaluate where we're at."

So Bella went to work lifting everything off of the shelves while Edward started opening boxes to see what was in them. He was astounded at how much crap he had, and Bella was just downright annoyed with the Cullen's hoarding.

"What is this?" she asked, pulling a dusty trophy out from the back of the shelves.

Edward looked up from the box of Molly's old clothes to examine the item. "Hey! That's Emmett's trophy he got in hockey his senior year for winning state!" he exclaimed.

Bella raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "And why the hell do you have it?"

"You know, I'm not really sure."

Bella set it down in one of the various piles she was making. "Well he's getting it back tonight."

They each went back to work and Edward could have sworn he heard Bella mutter, "…of course Emmett played hockey. That explains all the brain issues…"

Edward smirked.

He had played basketball instead.

He had always come to the same conclusion about the correlation between the ice sport and Emmett's more annoying qualities.

About an hour into their cleaning, Molly got rather restless. She started whining until Bella ran into the house and grabbed her some dry Cheerios which left her content once again.

Edward noticed eventually that Bella would stare at Molly with an odd expression on her face before putting a particular item in a box. He finally grew curious when he saw her examine a pair of figure skates for a few minutes.

"What's up?" he asked, nodding to the women's skates.

Bella shook out of her trance and blinked at him. "Hmm?" she hummed as she set the skates in that particular box.

He gestured to the box. "What's in that box?"

Bella looked over at Molly again before glancing back at him. "It's just stuff that I think Taylor would have wanted Molly to have. You know, her skates, some of her old childhood books…just stuff that shouldn't be gotten rid of."

Edward let out a quiet sigh as he looked over at his daughter who was looking out to the yard as she snacked. It never failed to crush him that Molly would have no memories of her mom when she got older.

"That's a good idea," he finally replied.

"If you find stuff, you're more than welcome to add to it," she saw a look on his face and added, "I mean, not that we're going to be getting rid of her stuff. This box is just going to be kept specifically for when Molly gets older."

"Okay," he said with a nod. He turned back to a box he had been searching through, not wanting to speak more on the subject.

Eventually, Molly started to fuss again, obviously getting bored with her jumper.

"Alright, who is making lunch?" Bella asked, setting down the gardening pots she had been cleaning off in order to put away.

"Rock, paper, scissors?" he asked.

"Let's go," she agreed.

"2/3?" he asked as they moved to stand across from each other.

"Of course."

Bella went with rock while Edward opted to form scissors with his fingers. The second round, Bella did the idiotic thing of choosing paper while Edward once again did scissors.

"This is suspenseful," Edward commented.

"High stakes," she agreed.

"Rock, paper, scissors shoot!"

Bella went back to the good old rock while Edward once again threw out scissors. She pounded her fist against his fingers triumphantly.

"Pasta sounds good," she teased.

Edward rolled his eyes.

"Who the hell uses scissors each time?" she added in confusion.

"It was a strategy that I live by!" he defended as he scooped Molly up, "It's never led me astray!"

"Like I said," she grinned, "Pasta."

Edward just shook his head. "You'll get a sandwich and like it."

Bella grinned as she watched Molly wave back at her as Edward and she went through the door to the house. She waved back, letting her hand drop when the door closed again.

She huffed a sigh when she realized that they weren't even halfway done. It was already looking a whole lot better though. The shelves had been rearranged and they had managed to get twice as much stuff on it than they had before. She had also started pounding nails into the wall to optimize the space and be able to hang up more stuff.

Bella looked over the pots she had been cleaning and wrinkled her nose in disgust. So instead, she looked around the garage for something else to occupy her attentions. She decided to started moving some of the suitcases they stored out here and try and compact them. She went over to the corner and started pulling them out, wondering why they hell Taylor and Edward had needed so many of them.

She froze when she found a Prince tennis bag behind them. She recognized that bag and in an instant she remembered everywhere she had ever been with it. Taylor had had the same bag since freshman year of high school.

Bella sank onto the cool concrete and pulled the bag closer to her, brushing off some of the dirt and cob webs.

She unzipped it with her breath held. She wasn't sure what she was expecting to find. Then she realized she wasn't expecting to find anything unique, but was rather preparing herself for the assault of memories that she knew was coming.

There were two tennis rackets in the bag, a newer one and one Taylor had saved from their final match together at the state tournament nearly eight years ago. Bella picked up the racket and held it carefully, running her fingers over the strings.

It was truly a wonder how fast time flies by.

Bella gripped the racket gently, holding it while the imagine of Taylor twirling it around in between points struck her. Tennis had meant so much to them. It had been everything in high school. Being Taylor's partner had been incredible and the opportunities that had arisen from it had been life changing.

Setting the racket down on her lap, Bella continued to look through the bag. She found her tennis shoes, some racket grips, a few canisters of balls, nothing she wouldn't expect or couldn't find in her own bag.

The tags they had gotten from their several trips to state were still attached to the bag, making Bella smile. They had been so freaking excited each and every time they had added another one.

When Bella found deodorant, she rolled her eyes. While the girl had been her best friend, Taylor had sweat a lot. Bella used to tease her endlessly about her perspiration and her need for clinical strength protection.

A piece of paper tangled in her fingers and she picked it out of the bag in confusion. She unfolded it and read it with a furrowed brow.

When Bella saw the date on the top of it, she couldn't help but laugh. It was a high school tennis schedule from three years ago. Taylor was a hoarder…that and she was really forgetful when it cleaning things.

Bella had gotten a schedule too, but had thrown it away when the allotted time on the paper had passed. Like a normal person. Every year before they started college they had gone back to help Kessler with the tennis program for a few weeks, and the schedule in front of her was from their senior year of college. Even though Taylor had just become recently engaged and was trying to plan a wedding in less than a year, she still had gone.

Seeing the paper…something just clicked in Bella's mind. She was a believer of signs, and the schedule in front of her was a sign.

Bella pulled her phone out of her pocket and searched through her contacts before dialing the number she had been looking for.

"Hello?"

"I'll do it."

"You always were to the point, kid," Kessler commented.

"Why waste time?" she shrugged. "I know you probably already have practices scheduled and I'm probably at work, but I'll do whatever I can to help with tennis this year."

"What changed your mind?" he asked.

"I found Taylor's bag. It meant so much to us, the program." Bella cringed a little as she continued, "And even though I'm not entirely sure I can go on a tennis court without sobbing for an hour like last time…I'm willing to find out."

Before he could speak, she added with a teasing note. "That, and I'm sure the girls would enjoy a relatively normal person coaching them."

"Thank you for adding relatively in there."

She grinned. "Well let's not get too crazy here."

More serious, Kessler commented. "I knew you would, kid."

"Really?"

"Well, I was confident enough in the fact that I scheduled the practices from 4-8 in the afternoon, so that you'd be able to get to them."

"I can be there at 4:30."

"I was counting on it," he replied, and she could hear the grin in his voice.

"They start this Monday?" she checked.

"Yup. The players have doing captains practice this past week and start Monday, its rise and grind. The girls are going to be so excited to see you."

"I'm actually looking forward to it a lot," she said, surprised by the realization. She was scared, but excited.

"I told you, you take a weakness and you use it to make you stronger. That's what you're doing by coming on Monday. I'm proud of you, kid."

~O~

When Bella left the office on Monday afternoon, she had already changed into an athletic tank top and running shorts. She looked slightly odd and for once she understood why the interns were giving her funny looks. She stopped at Landon's cubicle and grinned as he looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Where are you off to?" he asked.

"I'm going to go and coach tennis," she told him, unable to stop the spread of her grin.

Landon smiled and nodded. "Good for you."

The drive out of the cities took shorter than normal as she was beating rush hour by leaving the office at 4. She had her tennis bag in the passenger seat of her truck and as she drove she couldn't help but feel anxious.

When Bella pulled into the parking lot of the tennis facilities, she turned the engine of the truck off and paused. There were probably around two dozen girls hitting on the courts, and she spotted Kessler writing on a portable white board by the fence. She couldn't help but remember the last time she had come and hit with him and how that ended. She tried to remind herself that she had felt better after the hour spent crying on her coach, but it was hard to convince.

She reached over to her bag in the passenger seat and rested her hand on it. She glanced up towards the sky and mumbled, "Taylor, I hope you're with me on this one. Otherwise I am screwed."

Bella took a deep breath and when she let it out, there was an unexplained presence of peace that she had not felt only seconds earlier. She recognized the feeling and smiled to herself.

She hopped out of the truck, slinging her bag that held Taylor's racket in it, over her shoulder and headed towards the fence opening. She wasn't planning on using Taylor's racket and would probably give it to Molly later in her life, but she had wanted to have it with her.

"Bella!" a girl called excitedly. Bella looked through the fence and smile as a dozen teenage girls turned and started waving, calling her name. "Bella's here!"

"How's it going Brianna?" Bella asked as the one of the older girls walked with her on the other side of the fence.

"It's good! We're so happy that you're here!" she exclaimed as Bella entered the courts.

She grinned over at Kessler as she responded, "Well I don't blame you! I mean, otherwise you're kinda just stuck with him."

Brianna laughed, reminding Bella how utterly perky teenagers are. Her hitting partner called back to her, waving to Bella as Brianna turned to go back.

"She make captain?" Bella asked the coach who was mock glaring at her.

"Yup. The season is going to be incredibly peppy I fear."

Bella grinned. She remembered Brianna from when she had helped out during college and Brianna's older sister had been on Bella's team.

"Alright, so what am I going to be doing?"

Kessler pointed over to the 4th and farthest court away from them. There were two younger girls, a blonde and a brunette hitting across from one another. And they were hitting very well Bella could see. "See those girls over there?" he asked.

Bella nodded, watching their skilled hitting intently.

"Remind you of anyone?" he asked with a small grin.

"Oh yeah."

It was like watching Bella and Taylor from over a decade ago. They had been hitting like that their 7th grade year and had made varsity as a result. Hell, the girls even had the same hair color as the two of them did.

"They're the doubles team I mentioned last time. They're young but they are great players. They've kinda been thrust together this past summer, being of the same skill level and age. I need you to figure out what's holding them back."

Bella looked at him with a raised eyebrow. He further explained, "Hell, they should be beating over half the girls here, and I can't figure out why they're not. But then again, I was a singles player for my tennis career, so I thought that you'd be able to help as you're kinda Miss Doubles."

She rolled her eyes but nodded. "Yeah sure, no problem. Are you going to have them play matches?"

Kessler nodded. "I was just waiting for you to get here."

"Well let's go!"

"Alright ladies!" Kessler hollered, "Pick up the balls and bring it in!"

As the girls rushed to grab the discarded tennis balls and put them back into baskets, Kessler smirked over at her. "Get ready for a lot of squealing," he warned.

Bella raised an eyebrow at him, but her question was answered within seconds.

She was attacked by three simultaneous hugs. She laughed as the girls around her backed up slightly and started chattering excitedly and, as Kessler predicted, squealing at how excited they were to see her.

Bella was somewhat flustered by the amount of people talking to her, but took it all in with a smile. Kessler saved her after a minute. "Let her breathe, girls. Have a seat!"

Two dozen excited girls sat down on the court, forming a semicircle around Kessler and Bella who were standing. Bella was smiling and waving at the girls she recognized, which was most of them, while Kessler cleared his throat.

"We're going to be playing some matches this afternoon. We'll go until 6 o'clock and then, if you're good, I might let you eat." Bella rolled her eyes. "After that, we'll do some hitting drills because some of your backhands are truly terrifying."

The coach rolled his eyes when he saw that he hardly had any of the girl's attention. "And as most of you know, we have Bella Swan joining us this summer. Sh-" he was interrupted by hearty cheers as she girls clapped, whooped and squealed. Bella grinned. "For those of you who don't know Bella, she played for the team for six years, four of which she helped lead the team to the state tournament. Her and her partner were the doubles champions at the tourney their senior year, and Bella went on to play four years at the U."

Bella eyed the few girls she didn't know, including the two 7th graders she would be working with. They had wide, impressed eyes.

"Other than that, she's a lot less funnier than I am but I expect you all to listen to her. After 6, I'll have some of you girls start hitting with her. She might be a little rusty, so take it easy!" He clapped his hands together, offering her a quick smirk before he pointed in two directions. "Our little 7th graders, Rebecca and Courtney, will be taking on the fab freshman on the first court and you will have Bella with you to start."

Kessler went on to assign the rest of the girls courts and matches while the four that Bella were with got situated on their court. Bella leaned against the net post as they got ready.

Bella paid close attention as the girls started playing. The freshman team was good, but not anything amazing. Their forehands hardly held a candle to the younger girls, but they were enough to some spin and be placed nicely over the net.

The girls went to duce fairly quickly, before the freshmen won the game. The switched sides of the net, and Bella realized she knew what their problem was after only five minutes. She watched the next game even more closely to make sure she was right. When the freshman won that game as well, Bella knew she had figured it out.

By the third game, Kessler made his way over to where she was now leaning against the fence and watching them.

"What's the score?" he asked so they wouldn't hear as they continued to volley back and forth.

"0-2. Courtney and Rebecca are down," she told him, not taking her eyes of the ball.

"Figures. But you know what I mean? Their skills and technique is much better than the freshman team, and I can't understand why they don't just crush them."

"I figured it out."

Kessler looked over at her, eyebrows raised to his hair line. "Seriously?"

She nodded. "They don't trust each other."

Surprised into silence, Kessler turned back to watch as Courtney, the blonde one, got ready to serve the ball across the net.

"Watch this," Bella said, "Rebecca will get to the ball and volley it, but Courtney will move up behind her, in the ball's line just in case and the team will return to it where Courtney should have been."

Bella was not surprised, but rather confident, when that exact thing happened.

"So, it's Courtney then? She needs to play the court better."

She shook her head. "No, not just her. The freshman have figured out that Rebecca is awesome at the net and are intentionally lobbing over her….like right now." They watched as the ball went high in the hair and Rebecca leapt up, trying to reach it and then ended up slamming the ball down into the net.

"Rebecca doesn't trust that Courtney could have easily gotten that. They communicate well, but just don't fully trust the other. They're playing selfish doubles and it's not working out for them."

Kessler surprised Bella then by slinging his arm around her shoulders and giving her a half hug. "It's good to have you back, kid."

Bella grinned. "It feels good to be back here, with these girls. It just reminds me of some amazing times."

He gave her shoulder a squeeze. "Good for you."

_Yeah_, Bella agreed silently, _Good for me_.

It took the girls about an hour to finish their matches. Courtney and Rebecca lost their sets 2-6 and 3-6 before it was finally time for snack time. The freshman walked off the court, chattering happily amongst themselves well the younger girls moved more slowly as they gathered up their water bottles.

"That was great playing, girls," Bella told them with a smile.

The blonde one, Courtney, smiled shyly. "Thanks."

"Do you two like doubles?" she asked as they walked to the bags.

They nodded. Rebecca said, "Singles is hard. It gets kind of lonely."

Bella nodded in agreement. "I always thought so too. I loved doubles because of how great it was to share the sport with someone."

The girls sat down at their bags, leaning against the dividing fence. Courtney looked up at her curiously as she swallowed her water. "Who were your doubles partners?"

"I only had one," Bella said with a small smile. "Her name was Taylor Daniels, or Cullen I suppose you might recognize her as, since she got married a few years ago."

The girls grew quiet as they recognized the name. "Oh," they said softly.

Bella was about to say something, probably make the awkward situation more uncomfortable, Kessler called, "Swan! I got food for you!"

She gave the girls a little wave before jogging over to where Kessler was. The tennis coach grabbed a grocery bag which was filled with various foods and he led her out of the fencing to sit at one of the picnic tables.

"I really appreciate the fact that you never forget to feed me," she commented as they each grabbed at the junk food he had clearly picked up right before practice.

Kessler smirked. "Consider it bribery to get you to come back."

"Don't worry, I'll be here," she assured him as she opened a thing of crackers.

"You know," she continued, "It's actually freaky how much the two of them are like me and Taylor were."

Kessler nodded. "I've called Rebecca, Bella a few times and called Courtney, Taylor the other day."

"Is it weird that I keep comparing Rebecca to myself, based completely on her age and hair color?"

"You know, I've figured out over the years that we often see ourselves in the ones we coach. I mean, when I was your coach, I would watch you play and listen to your snarky comments and just see myself. It's one of the reasons you were my favorite. And sometimes it's good to see ourselves in others, to remember where we used to be."

"I just keep seeing me and Taylor on these courts doing the same thing those two are…and for the first time, I think about it and I can't stop smiling. Being here makes it hard to be sad, but instead I just feel so…thankful and glad that I had the experiences I did with her."

Kessler offered her a small smile as he swallowed a bite of his apple.

"Good. That's what it's about. Looking back on memories with a smile. Remember that one Dr. Seuss quote?"

Bella slapped her forehead. "You and your quotes."

"I can't help it!" he defended, "My wife has a daily calendar with different ones on it!"

"We both know it's not your wife's." She rolled her eyes, "Continue."

"Anyway, the quote is, "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." And while I agree with Mr. Seuss to a point, I think that it's really okay to cry that it's over, but then you gotta smile because it happened."

Bella nodded as she ate another cracker and he took a bite out of the red fruit he was holding.

"You're a good coach," she commented.

He grinned. "It's easier when there are good people to coach."

Bella was about to reply, but she looked over and saw Brianna standing up, along with another girl Bella recognized as a senior. She listened as the captains addressed the players.

"I know we talked about this last week at captains, but I want to let you all know that it's going through." Brianna held up a white tennis skirt that had small purple stitching on the bottom.

"This tennis season is going to be dedicated to Taylor Daniels Cullen, an alumni who helped lead this program into where it is now and inspired all of us. She may no longer be with us, but we're going to play for her this year. All of our skirts are going to have the initials TD embroidered in purple to honor her."

Bella's eyes watered and a tear leaked out of her eye as the girls all started conversing about the prospect and looking at the skirt with smiles of agreement. And even though she was crying, she still felt a sense of peace and happiness that had been with her since leaving her truck.

It's so much better to cry with a smile on your face.

* * *

_May the angels protect you, trouble neglect you_  
_And heaven accept you when it's time to go home_  
_May you always have plenty, the glass never empty_  
_And know in your belly, you're never alone_

_May your tears come from laughing, you find friends worth having_  
_As every year passes, they mean more than gold_  
_May you win and stay humble, smile more than grumble_  
_And know when you stumble, you're never alone_

_Never alone, never alone_  
_I'll be in every beat of your heart when you face the unknown_  
_Wherever you fly this isn't goodbye_  
_My love will follow you, stay with you, you're never alone_  
Never Alone, Lady Antebellum

* * *

**AN:** Sorry this update is a tad later than usually, I'm just a fan of posting on my birthday! Your reviews are like presents to me (:

Not a lot of E&B time here. This chapter was mainly on Bella healing, because we've seen a lot more of Edward processing his grief, and now he's on the right track. We had to get Bella on that track with him!

What do you think of where their relationship's at now? How do you think Edward's handling everything? Is Kessler just what Bella needed?


	24. On Track

On Track.

The phrase means that things are going well and there is no trouble in the foreseeable future. The train is on course, despite anything that could have been a setback previously. It was going forward and it as on the right rails.

For the first time since the death of her best friend, she finally felt like she was getting back on track.

He and she both felt pain still, and the heartbreak had barely begun to heal. There were still times when their breaths were taken away from the staggering remembrance of what they had lost. But it was starting to heal.

Life was calm.

She had her fingers crossed it would stay that way.

~O~

"Did Emmett get Edward your shoes?" Rosalie asked anxiously over the phone.

Bella rolled her eyes. "Yes, Edward gave them to me last night. He was complaining about having to carry heels through the firm."

"Emmett was too. It's not like I asked him to give you tampons or anything!"

"But can you?" Bella asked with a smirk, "That would be kind of fun, actually."

Rose's laugh rang across the line. She had called Bella at work, saving the latter from the writing of recommendation letters for the interns. They had a week left before they would be leaving, and Bella had to get everything tied together.

"I will, fear not."

The door to Bella's office opened and in slipped Landon. Bella grinned at him as he walked over towards her.

"And you said Joy is flying in from England?" Bella asked distractedly.

Landon, looking attractive as ever, made his way around the desk. He leaned down and she tilted her head up in order for her cheek to meet his lips.

"Yeah, my parents are picking her up from the airport tonight," Rose replied, referring to her maid of honor.

Landon grinned and leaned in to kiss her other cheek.

"Hmm," Bella hummed.

"And you have next Friday off?" Rose checked.

Rosalie was exceedingly and understandably anxious about her wedding which would be taking place a week from tomorrow on a Saturday afternoon. Bella had gotten many phone calls from her over the past couple of weeks, sometimes in tears, sometimes swearing up a storm.

"Yup," Bella muttered as Landon pressed a light kiss on her lips.

"Good, rehearsal dinner starts at 5 o'clock," Rose reminded.

Bella merely hummed in agreement.

"You and Edward are sharing a room, right?" she checked.

Landon did not hear the question. And even if he had, the room they were sharing had two queen sized beds, verses one. It would be silly to get separate rooms, especially if Edward struggled to sleep.

"Yes," Bella agreed, a little breathlessly as she immediately went back to pressing her lips against his.

"Landon, are you going to be Bella's date for the wedding?"

Bella and Landon both froze at Rose's loud question, but Landon pulled back with a grin at having gotten caught. Bella laughed.

"My parent's 25th anniversary is next weekend, so I'm supposed to head to Michigan for the weekend. Sorry ma'am," he apologized.

"Oh, I suppose you shouldn't miss that one," Rose agreed and then sighed, "Well, since Bella's ignoring me, you two carry on."

"Bye Rose," Bella laughed as she leaned over and hung up her desk phone.

"Where were we?" she asked when she leaned back in her chair.

Landon smiled. He placed his hands on each of her chair's armrest and leaned in, kissing her with a still gentlemanly air about him.

"Ma'am, huh?" Bella teased in between pressing her lips against his.

"You're the one-" he kissed her before gasping out, "-who told me she likes it."

"Don't…indulge her," she muttered against his lips.

After their date two weeks ago at the baseball game, things had been great between her and Landon. They had kept it casual as far as dates went because Landon was wary of setting Bella off as had happened on their planned first date. He didn't kiss her until their third date and it had been a little difficult to stop since.

Bella was still a little skittish about the whole relationship. Landon was awesome; he was really a great guy. Bella enjoyed his company a lot and there was nothing wrong with him. But there was a little feeling in back of her mind that was usually easy to push aside…but was still there. She sensed it has less to do with Landon and more to do with herself. But she remained unwilling to decipher it.

"We should stop," Bella gasped.

Landon continued to kiss her. "Definitely."

"Someone could walk in," she continued breathlessly, not stopping.

"Any minute," he agreed.

Bella, who was still slightly in awe of what a great kisser she had found, was starting to feel a little dizzy. He had very, very sexy lips. And they were surrounded by his muscular, tan and good looking face.

"Landon," she mumbled.

She felt a grin against her lips. "Bella?"

"I gotta get going," she told him, regretfully pulling her lips away from his.

Landon pulled back, but made no move to back away from how he was hovering over her. "Ah, yes, four o'clock."

Bella smiled. "High school tennis awaits my presence."

He stood up out of the leaning position he had been in and offered her his hand with a smile. She took it and he helped her out of her chair.

"I'll see you tonight then," he grinned.

"And you're insisting on picking me up from the courts? I mean, teenage girls will swoon over your presence…" she said as she started to gather her things. "But I probably won't look too great."

"We're just going to get ice cream! And besides, you always look good!"

Bella laughed loudly. "He thinks I always look good…" she muttered to herself, shaking her head.

Landon rolled his eyes. "I'll let you get changed then."

Bella quickly changed out of her skirt and blouse, kicking off her heels as well. She slipped into a tennis skirt and tank top. She gathered up all her stuff and checked the time, swearing as she did so. Landon's attentions had made her late.

As she started driving, the skyline of the city growing smaller in her rearview mirror, she couldn't help but reflect. Afternoons with the high school tennis girls were quickly becoming something she looked forward to the most in her day. Well, besides getting home and seeing Molly afterwards.

When she was on the courts with the girls and Kessler, she just felt lighter and happier. She realized helping with the team was healing her. It was therapeutic in a way she couldn't have even imagined.

Sometimes it was so easy for Bella to just put herself back 10 years and see her and Taylor and their team hitting like girls were. She'd randomly remember things about Taylor and all that they had done together. Instead of feeling a sharp pang of absence in her chest, she would smile.

Seeing one of her favorite mentors everyday didn't hurt either. She loved Kessler and admired many things about him. She was able to be sarcastic and give him shit, and he would not hesitate to return it. But when it came down to it, he was there for her in a quiet, reassuring way that she doubted he knew how much she appreciated.

When she got to the courts, she was somewhat confused to see the girls jogging around the fencing of the eight courts. Kessler was waiting for her when she got inside the courts and raised a quizzical eyebrow at him.

"They forgot to pick up a few balls yesterday," he explained.

"Shit, how many?" she wondered, immediately feeling their pain. For every ball that they left on the court, it was a lap around the courts.

"Only four."

"Oh that's not too bad. One time you made us run 19 laps," she remembered with a glare.

The tennis coach rolled his eyes. "And did you forget to pick up balls again that year?"

"No," she grudgingly admitted.

He grinned. "You're welcome for the character building, then."

The girls finally came walking into the courts, each of them out of breath and going to get drinks of water.

Kessler clapped his hands together and they all turned to listen to him. "Alright, who wants to play a match against Bella?" he asked.

Bella grinned.

About 14 hands went into the air, some patiently held up, and some with fluttering fingers.

"She played Division I," he reminded.

About 5 hands hesitantly dropped. Kessler sighed, seeing that he was getting no where.

"Alright, keep your hand up if you like Justin Beaver, or whatever his name is."

Only 1 hand dropped without any thought.

Kessler addressed the girl who had put her hand who happened be the captain. "Brianna, you and Bella take court 4."

Brianna grinned triumphantly and Bella laughed. The rest of the girls rushed into their defense on why Justin Bieber was changing music as they knew it.

Even though Bella didn't like singles and hadn't since she had been little, she and Brianna had a lot of fun. Bella found after the first game, that she didn't have to go easy on the younger girl. So, they hit back and forth, serving and calling balls out and chatted about college and high school in between games. Bella was really enjoying herself.

They had been playing for about an hour when they were nearly done. Bella had gotten sweaty during the time and was cursing about how out of shape she was. It was her serve, and Bella easily hit a great ball out of the air which Brianna did not let ace her. They played the point until Brianna moved up to the net and Bella lobbed the ball over her, planting it just inside the court.

"Good game," Brianna laughed, slightly breathless from the exertion.

Bella nodded and grinned as she tried to catch her breath. "You did really well." Bella had won both sets, 6-4 and 6-3, but Brianna had definitely done great.

"It's great to play with someone so experienced," Brianna gushed as they picked up their water bottles.

Bella smiled, but looked over to the parking lot when she heard a door close.

Heads on every court turned to see a handsome cooper headed man who was holding hands with a little girl who was toddling along with him at a slow pace, but was walking happily.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Bella muttered to herself as they got closer.

When Edward found Bella, he nodded with a crooked grin. Bella waved back but gave him a confused look.

"Alright! It's six! Snack time!" Kessler thundered from where he had been on the first court.

Molly's eyes found Bella, and when they did, her whole face lit up and see cried out in delight. Bella smiled at the little girl and walked out of the fencing. She crouched down on the sidewalk and held her arms out for the little one. Molly walked like a pro over and when she was close enough, Bella snatched her up as she giggled.

"Hey, honey bunny!" Bella laughed, bouncing her around. Molly continued to giggle as Bella settled her on her hip.

Bella was just about to talk to Edward when a squeal interrupted her.

"Oh my God! She's so cute!"

And suddenly, she found herself surrounded by teenage girls. They all cooed and smiled at Molly who looked up at Bella in confusion at first, but settled into the attention and smiled at the girls.

"What's her name?" Brianna asked, giving Molly a small wave.

"Molly," Bella answered, making the little girl look back up at her in reply.

"That's so cute!"

"Her eyes are so big and pretty!"

"She's a doll!"

"She looks just like you!" One of the younger girls, probably an 8th grader, commented.

Bella's smile froze. She glanced over at Edward who had his eyebrows furrowed, having heard the comment. Bella gave him a small, apologetic shrug.

Luckily, the captain other than Brianna looked at the girl frantically, clearly embarrassed by the words. "Lucy, that's Taylor Daniels daughter."

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry Bella," Lucy apologized immediately, looking horrorstruck at her ignorance.

"It's okay, Lucy," Bella told her.

"I feel like more eating should be happening, ladies!"

All the girls froze and looked over at Kessler who had remained inside the fencing and was looking at the team with raised eyebrows. They all said cheery goodbyes to Molly and reluctantly went back to where their bags were.

"So, what are you doing here?" Bella asked, turning back to Edward.

He held up a brown paper bag. "It's Friday, so I was off work. Molly was getting a little antsy so I figured she could use some fresh air and you could use some food."

Bella smiled. "Oh thanks."

"I was also hoping to talk to Kessler as well," he added.

Bella raised an eyebrow at him. Edward didn't offer any information. She shrugged finally. "Okay."

Kessler happened to be right behind her, so she didn't even have to call for him. Molly immediately perked up at the stranger who was grinning at her.

"Man, she's a cute kid," he said.

Bella and Edward both smiled.

"You weren't kidding either; those are Taylor's eyes through and through."

Bella smiled but then glanced over at Edward. "Hey Kessler, Edward wanted to talk to you quick."

Edward stepped forward to offer his hand. The two men shook while Bella and Molly moseyed over to the picnic table.

"Bella told me what the team was doing for Taylor, dedicating the season and all," Edward said, getting right down to it. He met the coach's eyes and said, "And I wanted to thank you for it."

"It was the girls' idea actually. The ones that knew her really looked up Taylor."

Edward gave him a brief but sincere smile. "She loved it here. She always told me these were some of the best times of her life."

Kessler gave him a grin. "Taylor was a good kid. And she turned into a great woman. The world still needed her."

Edward sighed quietly, but for the most part, felt a sense of calm sadness. It was painful, but the sorrow was not quite so overwhelming these days, and he was able to be calmer.

"I'm really thankful that your team is making sure she's not forgotten."

Kessler gave him a sympathetic look. "She won't be forgotten. There's no way someone who left such a big foot print and touched so many, could not be remembered."

Edward was quiet for a moment, but then remembered a passing though of his. "Did the girls pay for the embroidery on the skirts themselves?" he asked, referring to the TD they had gotten.

The coach shook his head. "We have a booster club, and we decided this was important."

"Well, can I donate to the booster club?" he asked, pulling out his wallet.

Kessler shook his head. "You don't have to do that."

Edward ignored him and wrote out a check for 250 dollars, quickly signing it and ripping it out. He handed it to the coach.

"I want to."

Kessler recognized he had been ignored and slowly took the check into his hand. "Thank you."

"No," Edward shook his head, "You're doing far more. Thank you."

The two men gave barely noticeable nods to each other, but communicated a respect that passed between them silently.

"How's she doing?" Edward asked quietly, glancing quickly over at Bella. She sounded really upbeat whenever she talked about the team, but he still worried about her.

Kessler grinned with something that Edward thought looked a lot like pride. "You know, she's doing really well. It's great to see her smiling and laughing."

Edward offered a faint smile. "It hasn't been too much?"

The coach shrugged. "I think she's been figuring out that moving on doesn't mean letting go."

"She's been awesome," Edward said, looking over at her. She had given a small piece of food to Molly and was laughing when the child scrunched up her face in dislike.

"Bella's a good kid," he agreed.

Edward glanced at him, trying to mask his confusion.

Kessler grinned. "I know she's like 26 years old, but sometimes all I see is the sassy and gifted teenager from a while ago."

"Well the sassiness has just evolved into full blown sarcasm since then," Edward chuckled.

Kessler laughed along in total agreement. Bella heard the noise and turned to look at them with a raised, accusing eyebrow.

"What are you two talking about?" she demanded, amusement dancing in her eyes.

"Some of your finer qualities," Kessler replied.

Bella scoffed. "You say that like there are only a few."

Edward chuckled. "Well, attention to children isn't always one of them."

She looked at him in confusion, but then saw Molly out of the corner of her. The toddler was trying to shove the sandwich into her mouth, smearing food all over her face as she did so. "Oh! Molly, don't!" she said, rushing to grab the food away from her before she made more of a mess.

Kessler and Edward shared a laugh before Kessler excused himself, needing to go give schedules to his girls. Edward walked over to where Bella was wiping a napkin over Molly's gave. Molly's eyes were twinkling mischievously.

"My bad," Bella admitted, finishing cleaning Molly.

Edward just chuckled. "It's fine."

"Did you get what you needed from Kessler?" she wondered. He slid onto the picnic bench seat so he was next to her, Molly still sitting on the table top.

Edward nodded.

"So, this it, huh?" he asked, looking around at the courts.

Bella smiled as she took a bite of salvageable part of the sandwich. "This is it," she agreed after she had swallowed.

"I can see how you liked spending your falls here," he commented.

"And summers," she added.

"So, I can see how you liked _living here_," he rephrased with a teasing grin.

Bella didn't dispute the fact. She took another bite of the cookie had Edward had brought her…one that she had baked a few days ago…but he had still brought it.

"How's life?" he asked.

Bella looked at him for about a full minute before she burst out laughing. Edward grinned, realizing it wasn't exactly normal question for someone you're living with.

"Well, I just feel like you've been so busy with work and this tennis that the only time I see who is when we sleep," he clarified, rolling his eyes at the women's amusement.

Bella sobered up, nodding in understanding. "I know what you mean."

He continued somewhat shyly, "I mean it's good that you're keeping busy…but I guess I kinda, I don't know... miss you."

It's true, their schedules had been hectic. Edward was more into work than ever and the demands of being a junior partner were heavy. Bella now had work and an additional few hours of tennis every night that by the time she got home, it was nearly time for Molly to be going to sleep and then Edward and Bella would have to spend the next couple hours catching up on work before going to bed.

Bella gave him a soft smile and nudged his shoulder gently with her own. "I miss you too Edward."

She let her head gently fall against his shoulder, and he let his head rest on hers.

They stayed like that for a while, neither moving nor breaking the silence. Molly was even quiet as she watched two of the girls finish eating then go and hit. There was a peacefulness that usually they only felt at night, right before they would fall asleep next to each other.

"You know…we should go up to the cabin tomorrow and stay overnight," she suggested.

Bella shifted so that she could look up at him, meeting his gaze. He didn't say anything as he stared at her.

"It'd be just me, you and Molly. No work, none of Em and Rose's wedding, no trial cases, no tennis…just the three of us."

Edward didn't even have to think about it. The picture she painted was stress free and peaceful.

"Okay. We'll leave in the morning."

Bella smiled at him with a soft smile that still managed to be incredibly bright.

They looked over to the courts and saw all the girls getting up from where they had been snacking and starting to grabs tennis balls and go to different courts.

"I better get going," she sighed as she moved to stand up from the table.

Edward stood up as well. "I'll take squirt and we'll get everything packed."

Bella grinned. "Sounds good." She leaned down and kissed Molly's soft hair before putting a hand on his shoulder and smiling once again at Edward. He returned the smile before she went back into the fencing.

She found Kessler leaning on the other side of the fence, watching four girls play doubles. Quietly, she leaned next to him and waited for him to tell her who she would be working with.

"I figured you might be tired from your match with Brianna and might want to help me with these girls."

Bella nodded.

She immediately recognized the two 7th grade girls that had such an uncanny resemblance to Taylor and herself. They were playing two older girls and it looked evenly matched.

"They're getting better about trusting each other," she commented, looking at Courtney and Rebecca.

"We're getting there," he agreed.

They silently watched the four play out almost a full game before Kessler spoke once again.

"You know, Lucy feels really bad about what she said."

Bella shrugged. "She didn't know better."

Kessler was quiet, and Bella thought the conversation had ended. "If I didn't know better myself, I would have thought the same thing."

Bella looked over at him with a raised eyebrow.

"It's the way you carry yourself around her. It's like how a mom would and it's hard to tell the difference."

Bella sighed.

"But, I'm not Molly's mom."

Kessler glanced at her with a sad smile. "That may be true, but Bella, everyone needs a mother."

"And is that supposed to be me?"

"I don't know. That's up to you to figure out."

* * *

_There was a time_  
_I met a girl of a different kind._  
_We ruled the world,_  
_I thought I'd never lose her out of sight._  
_We were so young, I think of her now and then._  
_I still hear the songs reminding me of a friend._

_Upon the hill across the blue lake,_  
_That's where I had my first heartbreak._  
_I still remember how it all changed._  
_My father said,_  
_"Don't you worry, don't you worry, child._  
_See heaven's got a plan for you._  
_Don't you worry, don't you worry now."_  
Don't You Worry Child, Swedish House Mafia

* * *

**AN:** I do realize this wasn't the most exciting of chapters, but it was important to see that Bella is healing so well. And also, before there is panic (or gladness...?) Landon will be gone soon. Trust me, two chapters max.

Part II is rapidly coming to a close. There's only about five more chapters after this, before we get to big stuff (not that this isn't important!)

Are you going to be sad to see Landon go? Glad to get rid of him? Still love Kessler? Is he right about Molly? Any predictions on how Edward and Bella are going to handle Rose and Emmett's wedding? Lemme know! And thanks for the birthday wishes last week! (:


	25. Pictures

Pictures.

There is not a second that passes by on the earth where a photo is not being taken.

They say that that a picture is worth a thousand words. Perhaps they're right. But to him, some pictures are worth so much more than that.

Picture are memories. Every picture has a story. Sometimes the story is of a beautiful place and the times associated with it…sometimes the story is of a person whether they be filled with joy or sorrow. But all of them have words to tell.

In the couple months since his wife had died, he had looked at pictures a lot. Sometimes it hurt and tears would slip down his face as he remembered the taking of the picture. Other times, a smile would spread on his face and he would be reminded of just how lucky he had been.

Sometimes, pictures are your only reminder.

~O~

Bella was 25 and single. Those women who have been in that position know that one attends a lot of weddings during that time. And being single sometimes sucks.

She had Landon, but they hadn't officially defined their relationship, and he was in Michigan for the weekend, she was still for all intents and purposes single.

In the past four years, Bella had been a bridesmaid in six weddings. Taylor and Edward's had been the second, but the only one she had been maid of honor in. Though, she suspected since Jasper was going to propose soon that she would get the job in her sister's wedding.

At Emmett and Rosalie's wedding though, she didn't feel single. She could credit that in part to Taylor's living will which had put her and Edward under the same roof with a toddler.

On the day of their nuptials, Bella found herself crazy busy. Not only did she have Rose to attend to, but she also was in charge of Molly for the day. Edward, being Emmett's best man, was with him and the other groomsmen doing whatever manly shit guys do before a wedding. As Molly was the flower girl, she stayed with the women and Bella.

Rosalie looked absolutely gorgeous in her dress. She was stunning. Those were the only words Bella could form as she stared at her college roommate. Her dress was a combination of lace and sparkles and she had a long veil that she was wearing over her face for her walk down the aisle because "God dammit, I'm traditional!"

"Rose, do you even realize how beautiful you look?" Her sister Joy asked with a huge smile on her face.

The bride let out a teary laugh, obviously having trouble containing her emotions. "Thanks, sis."

"Emmett is one lucky ass guy," Rose's cousin, Annie, chimed in.

"Don't worry, he knows it," Rosalie giggled.

Bella looked on with a smile, content to be the quieter bridesmaid for once in her wedding career. It was Taylor who should have been sitting where she was today. Bella had focused most of her energy in the morning of ignoring that thought, and when that didn't solve it, she worked through the thought. It had taken a while for her hair to get done, and in that time Bella had been quiet trying to gather her strength in any way that she could.

Also, the other two bridesmaids didn't have a toddler walking around trying to explore everything she found.

"I have flowers!" Esme exclaimed as she walked into the room where they had been getting ready. She was carrying a card board box that held their bouquets. Rose had been a little antsy about their later delivery, but it worked out.

All the ladies excitedly rushed over to the mother of the groom and opened the box. The color scheme of the wedding was charcoal grey and yellow. It was a flawless combination that highlighted Rose's great taste. The bridesmaid dresses were short and chiffon, but they were gorgeous. They were wearing yellow heels and a pendant necklace that had a yellow stone. When they opened the box, they were assaulted with yellow.

"Joy, here's yours," Rose said, handing her a bouquet, "Annie…this one's yours. And, Bella, this one is yours."

Bella took the flowers out of Rose's hand. Instead of the flowers drawing her attention, the first thing that caught her eye was the small silver rectangle that was attached to the binding of the stems.

Rose watched as Bella turned the somewhat heavier silver square over. Bella's breath caught in her throat when she saw in black and white a picture of her best friend.

Taylor had a giant smile on her face and her wide eyes sparkled, her blonde hair flung carelessly in the wind. Bella recognized the picture from Edward and Taylor's engagement photos. The frame wasn't big, but at 2' by 3', it wasn't unnoticeable.

"Is it okay?" Rose asked softly. Bella looked up at her, at a total loss for words. "I mean I know I mentioned it over the 4th…but…" she trailed off.

Mutely, Bella nodded.

"It's beautiful," she finally whispered.

Rose pulled Bella into a close, tender hug.

"I thought about putting it on mine…but she meant so much to you. You deserve to be the one to make sure her smile is seen."

Bella remained too choked up to comment. Rose gently released her from the embrace and when they saw the mirrored tears in each other's eyes, they gave watery giggles.

"Trying not to mess up the makeup," Rose laughed, fanning at her face to stop the tears from leaking out.

Bella laughed, blowing wind in her own face.

"Do you think you could take the boutonnieres to the guys?" Rose asked, looking over at the box to see the flowers and pins that the men needed to pin on their tuxes.

"No problem," Bella agreed. "I'll get Molly out for a walk too."

So, Bella walked around the church to where the men's designated area was. Molly walked behind her, not needing a hand to steady her. Her walk had gotten far less wobbly and as long as the pace was reasonable, she could keep up easily. It scared both Edward and Bella how fast she was growing.

Edward happened to be coming out of the room when they reached it.

"Hey!" he said, immediately brightening.

When Molly saw her father, she excitedly exclaimed, "Dada!"

Edward beamed as he scooped the little girl up into his arms. "Hello, baby girl."

"You clean up nicely," Bella commented, looking at the handsome black tux.

"Same could be said about you. You look beautiful," he said, grinning as he looked at the dress she was wearing. Well, he hardly glanced at the dress but did gaze at her face.

"I have boutonnieres for you gentlemen," she said, holding up the small box with the one that was holding her bouquet with.

Edward was exceedingly confused. "Bouto-what?"

Bella rolled her eyes. "The flowers, Edward."

"Oh!" Realization dawned on his face. "Yeah, I was just sent out to find the 'the flower shit,' actually."

"How's Emmett?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

Edward smirked. "Oh you know, freaking out like you wouldn't believe."

Bella grinned. She could imagine Emmett hyperventilating behind that door.

"Well, why don't you send Molly in there with the flowers, she is looking pretty cute you know." Bella tickled the toddler's belly, producing a lovely giggle.

Edward smiled. He bounced Molly in his arms and cooed, "You're looking adorable as ever, sweetheart."

Not understanding the words, Molly merely giggled back.

Soon, they held the door open for Molly who had been given the small and lightweight cardboard box. Before the door closed behind her, they heard Emmett's boom, "Squirt! It's good to see you, buddy!"

Bella laughed to herself and Edward shook his head as the door closed into place.

Unconsciously, Bella shifted her bouquet as an odd silence filled the hallway. Edward caught sight of something metallic by Bella's hands and his eyes narrowed.

"What's that?" he asked.

"Huh?" she wondered. She followed his line of sight and saw that they were looking at the picture of Taylor.

Wordlessly, Bella handed him to bouquet to examine.

Edward looked at the picture with an unreadable expression. Finally, after what felt like a long time, he looked back up and met Bella's gaze.

In those expressive green eyes of his, Bella saw healing. She saw the spark of the man she had once known.

She saw the strength that she knew he had had all along.

"You know, it's weird…I miss her and I love her…but I think I've finally accepted what happened."

Bella offered him a soft smile.

"You really are amazing."

Edward returned the gesture with a shy smile of his own.

"So are you, Bella. Truly amazing."

~O~

Molly managed to make it down the aisle.

Edward and Bella both felt ready to collapse in relief when the little girl made it down the center of the church. True, she only actually dropped a few petals on the way, but she soaked up the attention.

Bella and Edward both beamed as they watched the beautiful toddler. She smiled at people who were all grinning at her and made her way slowly. When she saw Emmett at the end of the aisle, she took off in the closest thing to a run that the two had ever seen. Molly threw herself at Emmett, who laughed and scooped her up before setting her down when Bella made it down the aisle.

The ceremony had been lovely, even more beautiful than anyone had anticipated.

Bella watched with a smile on her face as Emmett stood nervously and Rose grinned tearily. When it was time to say their vows and the wedding party stood alongside the couple, Bella struggled to pay attention.

As the priest spoke about the importance of commitment, Molly could be heard babbling quietly while Edward and Emmett's grandma tried to quiet her. Bella grinned and caught Edward's eye.

Edward shook his head and rolled his eyes, mouthing "_Little shit_," to Bella. The grin of fatherly amusement made Bella smirk back and try not to laugh when Molly made another unintelligible noise.

When the ceremony was finished and Mr. and Mrs. Emmett and Rosalie Cullen were presented, there was a flurry of activity. Once the wedding party had exited the church, they were all ushered over to a nearby park where pictures were taken, while the guests made their way across town to the steamboat which the reception would be held on.

Royce Hale had been the groomsmen Bella had had to walk down the aisle with, and so far, she wasn't a fan of the man. He had an arrogant, asshole kind of personality and had his hand on Bella far more than she would have liked. So she had to grin and bear it when she was forced to stand next to him for endless pictures.

At one point during the pictures when Edward had been holding Molly and Bella feeding her Cheerios, one of the photographers approached them. "Can I get a picture of the lovely family?"

Bella's brow furrowed slightly, but Edward shrugged and replied, "Sure."

So, Edward adjusted Molly so that she was sitting on and against his left arm and facing the camera. He then placed his hand on Bella's waist and pulled her against the side of him, his warm arm pressed against her back. The three (including a bubbly Molly) smiled as the photographer enthusiastically snapped a few pictures of them.

"Just beautiful!" the woman smile before she flitted on to the next person. "A man between his two girls."

Once all the possible picture poses were taken, they all piled into a hummer limo which had absolutely been Emmett's idea. They walked on the docking board from the land to the boat the same way they had walked down the aisle. Bella held Molly in her arms, not wanting her to somehow end up in the water, and Royce put his hand a little too low on her back as they walked.

The evening was fun and pleasant. When they arrived and the grand steamboat started down the Mississippi, cocktail hour was nearly finished. After only one drink, everyone attending the wedding was settling into their seats. The food was delicious and the talk around the head table which was centered around the adoring couple, was fun and upbeat. Bella found herself laughing and smiling, and saw out of the corner of her eye that Edward was doing the same.

As the maid of honor, Rosalie's sister Joy gave the first speech/toast near the end of the main course. The guests were treated to a humorous account of Rose's earlier years which were told animatedly. The toast was concluded with sincerest well wishes for the newest Cullen couple and hugs.

When Joy passed the microphone over to the best man, Bella sat up straighter in her seat. Edward, the ever eloquent lawyer, looked uncharacteristically nervous as he anxiously stood up from his seat. She caught his eye and gave him an encouraging nod, trying to hide her private amusement at his nerves.

Edward lifted up the microphone and gave Emmett an exasperated look which made the guests laugh immediately. "How can one even find the words to begin to describe Emmett?"

Emmett beamed.

"Well, Rose, I'm sure you'll be finding them in your first few months of marriage, most of which probably should not be repeated in polite company." That got another laugh from the energetic guests.

Rose laughed and could be heard saying, "Already found them!"

"I had the somewhat dubious pleasure of going along with these two on their first date," Edward caught Bella's eye, "As did the lovely bridesmaid over there, Bella." Bella grinned and waved her hand for those who didn't know her.

"The four of us went golfing, Bella and I on a team and of course, Emmett and Rosalie. Most of you know that Emmett is just a little bit on the cocky side," Edward continued, grinning at the chuckling of agreement. "On the first tee box, Emmett steps up and goes to hit, Rosalie following behind him. I feel I should point out that this was the _men's_ tee box."

Rose was already rolling her eyes while Emmett smirked.

"So, tactful as ever, Emmett asks what the hell she was doing. Ignoring him, Rosalie goes up and hits the ball about 250 yards straight as an arrow. A speechless Emmett followed and hit the ball into a pond…on the other side of the road. Needless to say, they quickly established who wore the pants in that relationship."

More people laughed and no one disputed the fact.

Edward waited until the chuckles died down, and a more serious look came onto his face. Bella felt her own smile fade as she watched him.

"Some of you may know that I lost my wife at the beginning the summer," Edward paused and though it was barely audible, Bella heard it. "Taylor was one of Emmett's biggest fans, and for a long time, I admit I have no idea why." The guests offered smiles which were more subdued than before.

"But when I lost her, I figured it out. A lot can be found about a person when they're going through hard times." Edward gave his older brother a look that conveyed so much more than anyone would be able to comprehend. "Emmett is the kindest, most caring man I have ever known. He is someone who will always be there for you and will give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. He's really an awesome guy and I'm so happy that you've found someone equally as awesome."

Edward clasped his brother on the shoulder and lifted his glass. "I propose a toast to Emmett and Rose, two great people who will have a wonderful life together."

Bella raised her glass along with the rest of the guests and echoed, "To Emmett and Rose!"

The two brothers exchanged a hug which anyone could see the tenderness and admiration in. Edward hugged Rose as well who whispered something in his ear which made him blink, startled. The bride nodded at him and finally he cracked a small grin.

Bella was curious as to what she had said to him, but didn't get a chance to ask. Shortly after the speeches were done, it was chaos. Some of the guests moved over to watch the cake being cut while the workers on the ship began to move tables away to reveal the elegant wooden dance floor beneath. Bella lost sight of Edward, and couldn't really find him anywhere.

Once Bella had checked to see if Molly was still content with Alice and Jasper and vice versa, Bella went on a search for the best man. Once she searched the whole, somewhat crowded grand room, she checked the back deck where some of the guests were still residing. When she couldn't find him there, she wove her way back through the crowd to the front deck.

She found him there.

Edward was at the front of the triangle deck. His elbows were propped against the railing as he leaned, staring out into the river which they were slowly cruising through. His hair was tousled from the wind, but as his back was turned towards her, she could not see his face.

"Hey," Bella said softly as she approached him.

Edward moved his head back to glance over his shoulder and gave her a crooked smile. "Hey."

Bella opened her mouth to say something, but didn't get a chance.

Without a word, Edward pulled Bella against his chest, engulfing her completely in his arms. Bella was a little confused, but returned the hug, wrapping her arms around his torso. Edward rested his chin on the top of her head.

"You okay?" she asked.

"You know," he replied quietly, "I am."

Bella lifted her head off of where it had been resting on his chest. She looked up at him, brown eyes meeting green.

"You are?"

He nodded.

"I've finally figured out that life goes on…and I'm okay."

Bella's lips quirked up in a soft smile. She lifted one of her hands away from his back and brought it up to rest on his cheek. His eyes closed for a brief second at her touch.

"I'm so glad," she whispered. "You've suffered enough."

Edward's arms around her waist tightened just slightly. "During my toast I was going to say that Emmett was the person who has been there for me the most in recent months…but it's not true."

"It's been you, Bella. You've been like gravity, keeping me grounded. I don't know what I would have done without you."

With a powerful gaze, Edward leaned in and pressed his warm, soft lips against her forehead. Bella didn't drop her hand, but rather, closed her eyes to the gentle kiss.

Edward removed his lips and pulled her against him again. During the day and most especially during the ceremony, Edward had realized something. It had occurred when him and Bella had caught each other's gazes for the 3rd time during the vows and a silent conversation had passed between them.

He wasn't alone.

Taylor may be gone, but he was not alone.

Bella rested her head back against his chest and knew that he really was okay. The knowledge to himself that it was true was both unsettling and freeing to him. And she was so happy to see some light back into his eyes.

She had figured out a long time ago that Taylor would never truly leave her. The knowledge had been hard to believe at times and she had been shaken, but she was firm in her conviction. Taylor would always be a part of her.

And finally, Edward knew that.

"You know," he said, "I've been thinking about what that photographer said."

Bella hummed for him to continue.

"No matter how unconventional…we are a family."

* * *

_Falling slowly, eyes that know me_  
_And I can't go back_  
_And moods that take me and erase me_  
_And I'll paint it black_

_Well you have suffered enough_  
_And warred with yourself_  
_It's time that you won_

_Take this sinking boat_  
_And point it home_  
_We've still got time,_  
_Raise your hopeful voice_  
_You had the choice,_  
_You've made it now_  
Falling Slowly, The Frames

* * *

**AN: **Hmmmm, what do you think? I think the two have a really unique but incredibly sweet relationship.

Happy Super Bowl Sunday! Or Harbowl, if you think it's clever. I'm indifferent in the outcome of this game, because neither is really an underdog, and those are the best to get behind! I think Ravens will pull it off tho.

Do you think Edward's really okay? Do you think they can have a relationship? Did you notice the title of the chapter song? Is that foreshadowing? And is yellow and grey not the best color combination for a wedding?  
And dang that photographer. "A man and his two girls." I love that line because that's really what they both are to Edward: his girls.


	26. Stress

Stress.

**Stress**: (_noun)_ /stres/ 1. a physical, chemical, or emotional factor that causes bodily or mental tension and may be a factor in disease causation

Stress can be found all around, if one only looks. Many things can cause stress for people: a sick child, a paper due, unemployment, sickness or perhaps a lost relationship.

Over the years, she had grown quite apt at dealing with stress. In fact, it was usually one of her strong points; something she had prided herself in.

But now, she was in situation where she didn't how to deal with her stress. Nothing she did could relieve her of the burden on her shoulders.

The only thing that brought her comfort was _him_.

~O~

Bella had a headache and stomach cramps. The headache was expected given the stress she was under, but the cramps were much more of nuisance and had nothing to do with her period. She figured that she had finally reached that level of stress.

The next morning, she had to be on airplane at 7:45 which would be flying her to New York for a six day business trip. The head of Gray Books was located at the heart of the city, and even though Bella had fallen in love with the city of lights, she was dreading it.

She hated travel. Getting to the destination and being there is one thing, but traveling was a whole other thing and she just had no patience for it.

Traffic in New York City. Another thing she hated which needed no explanation.

Meeting with all of the executives at Gray Books was another thing she wasn't entirely keen on. Mr. Collins, the CEO, she loved. The rest she wasn't too inclined to like.

Not being in charge. She was used to being the boss, and with her boss usually hundreds of miles away, things were usually done her way. By leaving her office, she was relinquishing most control and for a person like Bella, it just didn't sit well.

And above all, six days was a long time.

She didn't want to leave Edward and Molly for a week's time. She was absolutely dreading it. The only way Edward slept was if he was near Bella, and she worried what his state would be after six days. A hopeful part of her thought that he might actually be able to sleep but the realistic part wasn't really agreeing.

And she would miss the hell out of Molly.

That little girl had become so much in her life, impossibly more than she already had been. Molly had become a constant joy whose toddler charm and adorableness never failed to make Bella smile, even after shitty days.

So, in sum, she was stressed.

But, just to add to that –because the universe didn't think her she was freaking out already- a manuscript came onto her desk the afternoon before she left.

It had been delivered by a strangely quiet Landon who didn't say much about it other than that it was James Freeland's latest edited manuscript.

Landon was the last of the original interns left. The rest had left, their summer contract expiring and most of them went back to school or began a new job. Landon, however, had asked to extend his contract, as assistant to Bella's colleague, until the new year when a new bunch of interns would begin.

With wariness, Bella picked up the manuscript James had submitted to be published. Grimacing, she began to flip through the pages and stopped when she saw the first highlighter mark.

James had missed three errors in the first four chapters. Granted, Bella acknowledged they were not entirely glaring errors. Most of the story was about a court case, so the word jury was in it a lot. Jury had special subject/verb agreement rules that not everyone knew. And that's fine, because everyone didn't need to know it. But if you're an editor? You better figure it out. And it was clear he had not.

With a sigh, Bella picked up her phone and dialed Gwen's extension.

"Gwen, can you get me James Freeland in my office please?" she asked.

"Of course, Miss Swan, right away."

Bella had warned James two months ago that he had one more strike before he was out. This had been it.

So, just for fun, because she was so bored, she had to fire one of her senior editors. It was a blast.

The fact that she was down an editor would be fun to bring up in meetings that coming week.

Bella made a phone call to Mr. Collins, easily getting through his secretary. She confirmed a couple things with him before wishing him a falsely cheery yet entirely believable "See you tomorrow!"

Since the door to her office was open, and she didn't really feel like moving, she merely called, "Hey Landon, how you feel about meeting me in New York on Thursday?"

His reply was confused, but an affirmative.

By the time Bella fell into bed that night, she was drained. And she quite literally, fell into bed.

Edward perched on the dresser and looked over at her sprawled out body with an amused grin.

Finally, she raised her head from the bed and looked over at him, raising an eyebrow at his smirk. He tried to lose it.

"You know what sucks about New York?" she complained.

"The perpetual smell of weed?" he tried.

Bella rolled her eyes. "Not what I was going for, but good point."

Edward slid off the dresser and went to the bed. He sat back against the headboard and looked at her curiously.

"Are you really dreading going that much?" he asked.

Bella sighed and adjusted so that she was rested against the headboard too. "I don't know. Usually I don't hate these things so much, and I love New York."

"But now?" he prompted.

She shrugged. "Everything's changed."

"But isn't that life, sorta?" Edward wondered, surprising Bella with his calm introspection.

"I suppose…but, I don't know; it just feels different. I don't want to leave you and Molly."

Edward gave her a small smile. "It's not like you're leaving forever. You're coming back."

Silence weighed down on them as both of them contemplated that she would be leaving. After six months were up, Bella would go back to her apartment…and the idea seemed so frighteningly foreign to them both.

"Are you sure you're going to be fed?" Bella asked, changing the subject.

Edward grinned.

"Perhaps."

Bella rolled her eyes.

"You can cook."

"True. But my mom did already call and offer to bring us food."

"And how could you turn her down?" Bella teased.

"Exactly."

Bella nearly responded, but a large yawn fought its way out of her mouth instead.

Edward laughed.

"Looks like the weary traveler needs to get sleep.

Bella didn't protest the notion as they adjusted so that they were lying under the covers.

"Don't you have to travel to then be weary?" she wondered.

"I feel like you're a preemptive weary, so it's basically the same thing," he replied.

Bella situated so that her hands her folded under her face and she was facing Edward who mirrored her position.

"Edward, we've never really talked about this," Bella said, gesturing to the two of them sharing a bed.

"I know," he admitted, looking sheepishly hesitant, "I've never really known how."

Bella knew exactly how he felt.

"I want for you to be well rested and healthy…you know that's my concern, right?"

He cracked a wry grin, "Yes, I've noticed that."

Bella rolled her eyes.

"But my point is that I don't care if this seems weird to anyone else, if me being here helps you sleeps that is truly all that matters."

"Still," he replied, "the concept is weird, you gotta admit."

"Oh yeah," she agreed. "But it's never really felt weird to me."

"Me neither."

"Do you think you're going to get any sleep this week?" she asked quietly after a silent moment.

Edward shrugged and tried to hide his frown. "Probably. I'm sure Molly will wear me out."

Both of them knew that no matter how tired Molly made him, it wouldn't have any impact on whether or not he would sleep. Tiredness had never been the problem. Thoughts had always been the thing to keep him up, and those were never really diminished alone with energy.

Bella's eyes fluttered shut, "I hope so," she mumbled sleepily. "Night, Edward."

"Goodnight, Bella."

Within less than two minutes, Bella was asleep. Edward heard her breathing even out and watched as the crease between her eyebrows disappeared.

Something kept Edward from shutting his eyes as he gazed at the sleeping brunette.

Bella shifted slight in her sleep, and a few locks of hair slipped down over her face, resting directly on her nose.

Edward quietly leaned over and ever so gently tucked the locks of hair back behind her ears, letting his hand linger for just a moment before lifting it away.

"Goodnight, Bella," he whispered again.

~O~

Bella's sense of dread had not lessened overnight. In fact, as she buckled her seatbelt in the airplane for landing, she realized that she was actually truly depressed about her looming week in the Big Apple.

She was dressed to kill in black pumps, grey dress slacks which fitted fabulously and a simple black cashmere sweater. Her jewelry was sparkling and accented the black and her hair was twisted in an intricate knot. She made sure that her presentation did not reflect her negativity.

Once the plane was landed and Bella was truly stuck in New York, she let out a deep sigh before lifting her carry on out of the overhead bin.

Navigating through the airport proved to be slightly stressful. Usually she did not have any problems knowing where she was going, but since there had been renovations occurring she had issues finding the luggage carousal. And naturally her bag was literally the last one to make it around.

After retrieving her suitcase, she set about trying to figure out her way through the ever present renovations. Eventually she found what looked to be an intern holding up a sign which read ISABELLA SWAN.

"You must be my escort for the day," she said in way of greeting as she walked over to the young man.

The intern looked startled. In fact, he actually did a double take and let his eyes trail up and down her body before finally meeting her eyes.

"You-you're Ms. Swan?" he stammered.

"Yes." Bella raised an eyebrow. "Did you have expectations that I have somehow failed to meet?"

"No!" he replied quickly. "It's just…you're hot!"

Despite the shitty day which inevitably set a precedence for the shitty week she would have, she actually cracked something between a mixture of a grin and a smirk.

"I see."

"Fuck!" he gasped, realizing what he had just inappropriately said. "I'm sorry! Please don't tell my boss; that was super inappropriate of me! I'm sorry."

Bella just smiled.

"You know what kid, thanks for that self-esteem booster."

"You're welcome?"

"Let's make a deal: you carry my suitcase and I'll keep away from the topic of you with your boss."

"Yes, yes, of course Ms. Swan! Right away!" The intern rushed to take her suitcase and made every effort in the next 20 minutes to be cordial and polite, his efforts only making Bella grin with wry amusement.

Unfortunately, being called "hot" by a college kid was the highlight of her day.

The intern, Tom, helped her in a car and road with her through the city to the hotel she was staying at. Bella had time only to figure out which room she was in and deposit her suitcase before she was back in the car with Tom going to the headquarters of Gray Books.

Without fail, Bella was almost immediately thrust into a welcome seminar. She was one of the six people arriving from the Northern branch that she headed up. The others had arrived the previous evening. The rest of the people in the room were from the other three branches, each seeming to have brought quite a few interns with. A slideshow of what their goal for the week was laid out and schedules were passed out, directed by a young woman who gave the presentation.

Bella tried her hardest to suppress her boredom, but three yawns managed to slip out. She was able to discreetly cover them from everyone but Maggie Smith, the head of the western branch. She was a woman in her 40's who had an infectiously wonderful outlook on life but was not afraid to put people in their place. She grinned at Bella's yawn and winked conspiringly.

Halfway through the riveting presentation, Bella's phone buzzed. Inconspicuously, she checked her text.

**_Do they at least have anything fun for you to while there? _-E**

Bella grinned and checked the itinerary she had received.

_They're sending us to a football game._

**_ That should be fun! _**

_ Jets game._

_** I take it back**. _

Bella actually had to stifle her laugh at his text. Maggie raised an eyebrow at her, but it was done so teasingly.

_The term cruel and unusual punishment means nothing to these people._

**_ Who are they playing?_**

_ The Bills._

Bella actually loved football season more than many things. But as a Minnesota girl, her allegiances laid with the Vikings.

**_ Good God, skip it._**

Bella typed out a reply, smirking to herself. By the time she looked up again, everyone was rising from their seats and Maggie was looking at her in amusement.

"Where are we going?"

Maggie grinned and lightly tugged Bella up. "They're all going out to lunch."

"They?"

"As for us, we are going to meet Mr. Collins and the other branch managers for lunch."

Bella grimaced slightly as she walked next to Maggie. She liked Maggie, was fine Shane White, who headed the southern branch, but she absolutely despised Jeremy Locke from the eastern branch. And as far she was concerned, they were in his home turf and he was sure to be even more obnoxious and cocky than usual.

"Do I have to sit next to Locke?" she muttered quietly.

"No dear, you can sit next to Shaun. I'll take one for the team and sit next to Jeremy," Maggie grinned. Bella smiled in return.

"He's still all bent out of shape that I turned him down last year when he asked me out," she grumbled.

Maggie laughed. "Oh dear, he's far too old for you."

"That's what I said! He's at least 10 years older than me!"

"He's going on 39 actually."

Bella's nose wrinkled. "I'm 25."

Maggie chuckled, "And that's why I'll sit next to the ass."

The next three days passed by in an exceedingly dull whirl of meetings and workshops. And one very boring Jets game. Maggie was a Godsend, and Bella quickly remembered why she loved the woman. However, Jeremy Locke was a pain in the ass that Bella was getting closer and closer to telling him off in a big way. And everyone was so fucking interested in her personal life that she was going crazy.

And at night, she felt so alone.

She was in a city with literally millions of people, but she was so alone that she was quickly losing it.

Her hotel room was nice, but staring at the generic setup and decorations made her want to scream. She felt trapped, like a caged in animal who was could see the outside world but couldn't get out…at least not for long.

The city was beautiful. New York to her would always remain the city of lights and the city of dreams. But some of its charm had worn off. Instead of seeing a future and adventure, she only wanted to go back home. And not home to her hotel room, but home to Edward and Molly.

And she was done playing nice with all of the other employees of the company. She felt out of place and off her game. She wanted to go back to her office and be in charge and be back in the routine which she not only relied on, but loved. Damn it, she wanted to be the boss again.

Bella also was dying for a home cooked meal. Eating at restaurants or having catered food for every single meal was really wearing on her. The food was good, but it was just something that her homesick. And the fact that going out to eat always meant she had to make small talk for sometimes two hours was further depressing her.

On the evening of her third day in the city, Bella was anxious as hell. For dinner, all of the branch managers had to take their "teams" out to dinner to discuss what had happened so far during the conference. Once that was over, she had the evening to herself. She was beginning to think that wasn't such a good thing.

Bella flipped through every channel the TV had to offer twice before giving up. With a frustrated sigh, she rose from her bed and went out to her balcony. She was on the 17th floor, and her view of the New York night life was nothing short of amazing. For a while, she simply leaned against the railing and looked out over the lights.

A cell phone ring broke Bella out of her thoughts. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and saw that it was Landon calling. With a slight frown, she slid to unlock the screen and answered the phone.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Hey, babe!" he greeted her, a smile in his voice.

"Are you all packed?" she asked him.

"I am. Not a fan of the really early flight, but I'll live." Landon would be arriving in New York the following morning for an interview with Shane White.

Bella had arranged with Shane, -who was a nice, likable guy in his late twenties- an interview for Landon. She was in need of an editor with James Freeland's dismissal. She knew he would be perfect for the job, but didn't feel comfortable interviewing him given their relationship. If Shane would theoretically hire him, Bella would speak with Mr. Collins about it.

"Yeah, those early ones will kill you," she agreed.

"Bella, is everything alright?" he wondered. He had picked up on her subdued tones almost immediately.

She sighed. "I don't know. I just want to come home."

"I know," he said, "But hey, I'll be there tomorrow. You won't be so alone then."

"Yeah," she agreed, trying to hide her doubt, "you're right."

"Maybe you should get some sleep, you sound like you need it," he suggested sweetly.

"That sounds like a good idea actually," she agreed.

"Well goodnight, sweetheart, see you tomorrow."

"Night, Landon."

But, instead of doing as he had suggested, Bella remained out on her balcony for nearly an hour, trying to figure out why she couldn't just pull herself together…and why it felt like something big was missing from her.

~O~

"_Sam! If you will let me be, I will try them. You will see,"_ Edward read in a soft voice as he rocked with Molly on his lap, lulling her to sleep with Dr. Seuss's_ Green Eggs and Ham_.

"Sam!" Molly clapped as Edward turned the page.

"That's right, baby girl, Sam!" Edward chuckled as he turned the page.

_"Say! I like green eggs and ham! I do! I like them, Sam-I-am! And I would eat them in a boat! And I would eat them with a goat..."_ he continued to read, his voice falling into a soothing rhyme.

"Sam!" Molly babbled again.

Edward grinned and kissed the top of her head.

He finished read the story before setting the book on the dresser and flipping off the lamp switch. Molly cuddled up against him, burrowed in the blankets and he rocked steadily on the glider. It didn't take long before he could hear the faint snore his adorable daughter had, and he knew she was out like a light.

Edward rocked with Molly for some time longer, even though it was not necessary to get her to fall asleep. He loved the way her small little body felt against his chest and her warm breath against his skin. He felt nothing but adoration and love for the tiny being who was his world, and he knew the quiet moments such as those would not but be available forever.

"I love you, Molly," he whispered, kissing her warm head and soft hair once more.

Eventually, Edward realized he had other things that needed his attention. So after rocking for nearly half an hour, Edward slowly stood up from the glider and was careful not to jostle his sleeping toddler. He tenderly lay her down into her crib and held his hand lightly on her back for a moment before turning and slipping out of the nursery.

Once he was in the hallway, Edward let out a sigh. The house was a disaster. Molly's things were everywhere he turned, their laundry was admittedly sprawled around, dinner needed to be put away, dishes needed to be done and to be honest, the kitchen floor was just feeling so sticky that Edward was actually considering mopping instead of his work.

Instead of doing any of it, he walked into his bedroom and fell back onto his bed, exhausted.

He already knew how much Bella did for him, but really seeing the physical results of her absence was unsettling to say the least.

She hadn't even been gone for four days, and he was already going perhaps a little crazy.

He missed her.

Fuck, did he miss her.

Bella had begun such a sure, constant presence in his life, and without her, he was lost. He felt really alone for the first time in a while.

It wasn't that Edward missed her because of all of her help around the house and with Molly. To be honest, he didn't desperately need her to give Molly a bath or pick her up from daycare. He was managing.

But, no, he missed her. He missed their quiet nights in front of the fireplace when Molly went to sleep, he missed the sense of partnership he had with her whenever Molly fussed, he missed her sarcastic, teasing comments and he missed the little talks they had in bed before they fell asleep.

When Bella had asked if Edward would be able to get any sleep without her next to him, he had truly thought that he would be able to. He thought he had worked at calming himself down and clearing his thoughts before falling asleep. Fuck was he wrong.

Sure, he was getting some sleep, three or four hours at most. But it wasn't connected nor did it feel restful.

He realized that he wasn't able to calm himself down alone. Bella was that calming presence he needed in order to fall asleep. It wasn't even so much as her lying next to him, but more the way she would speak to him in a whisper and usually not say anything too meaningful, but for some reason, it put him at ease.

Without seeing her daily, he was lost.

Edward worried he had come to rely on her too much, too. He was concerned that since Taylor died he had attached himself to someone and he was unable to make it through life by himself.

But a part of him knew that wasn't true.

To him, Bella wasn't filling Taylor's role. On paper, perhaps, but not truly. Bella was something else entirely.

Edward knew he would be able to adjust to life as a truly single dad without Bella's help. It would be entirely possible and eventually something he would have to do. He did not think of her in the role of a wife or anything similar. No, she was something different.

She had become his best friend.

Bella wasn't someone he needed, but instead, someone he _wanted_. Someone he wanted around simply for reasons due to human's selfish nature.

_Three more days_, Edward sighed.

But then what?

Three more days until she was back. But what about in a couple months? When the six months of the living will were up? Yes, she was coming back.

But she wouldn't stay forever.

* * *

_Another summer day has come and gone away_  
_In Paris and Rome, but I want to go home_  
_May be surrounded by a million people I,_  
_Still feel all alone, I want to go home_  
_Oh, I miss you, you know_

_Another airplane, another sunny place_  
_I'm lucky I know, but I wanna go home_  
_I've got to home, let me go home_  
_I'm just to far from where you are, I want to come home_

_Let me go home, I've had my run,_  
_Baby I'm done, I'm coming back home_  
_Let me go home it'll all be alright,_  
_I'll be home tonight, I'm coming back home_  
Home by Blake Shelton

* * *

**AN:** Guys: take this look into Edward's mind seriously! I think a majority of you feel that Edward would be settling for 2nd place, or trying to replace Taylor with Bella. But you have to look at what he's feeling, not what you assume he's feeling.

However, that's not to say your thoughts are baseless. They come from a very real place. But right now, Edward and Bella are coming together just as Edward has said: they're best friends. Friendship is the basis of relationships...but that's still yet to come and won't be without conflict.

So now I ask, what do you think about Edward's thoughts? Or about how Bella is handling her business trip? Do you believe he wants her rather than needs her? Or do you think he's putting Bella in a place to fill the void Taylor left? This is some heavy shit, ya'll. Love to hear your thoughts(:

Also, stressed spelled backwards is desserts for a reason. Come on Bella!


	27. Changes

Changes.

Sometimes they are necessary, and sometimes they aren't.

In life, a person will go through thousands of changes. Most are small, but some are big.

The tricky thing about the big changes is that sometimes, those changes are up to you to make. No one is forcing you, and it is up to you.

She had gone through several monumental changes since losing her best friend in June. Her world had been uprooted and so many things were different.

But once things had settled down, she realized that she was almost content.

Almost.

Now it was up to her to go from being sort of content to happy. And she had to figure out how to do that.

~O~

Bella crossed her legs unconsciously as she gazed out the large windows. The New York City skyline was glistening in the early fall sunlight. She was lost in thought as she observed nothing in particular.

Landon had arrived that morning and she had met him at the airport. He had engulfed her in a giant hug and then gave her a gentle kiss that conveyed how much he had missed her.

Bella had been feeling lonely all week and overall just homesick. She had hoped that being with Landon would relieve some of that loneliness.

But, as Bella had been in his arms, she realized that she felt the same. Landon wasn't what had been missing. And that wasn't fair to him.

A voice broke through her musings. "Bella?"

Her head snapped over to her left where Shane White, the San Francisco branch manager, sat next to her. They were seated in the large, beautiful office of the CEO, Mr. Collins.

"I'm sorry, what?" she asked.

Shane grinned.

"Mr. Olsen? Remember him? Your intern?"

"Sorry," she apologized sheepishly, "I just love looking out at the city."

"It's easy to get lost in," Mr. Collins agreed kindly, "I rarely get work done on such beautiful days."

Bella smiled, appreciating her boss.

"So, Bella, you want Mr. Olsen to fill the opened editing spot you have in your branch, correct?"

More at attention now, Bella sat up straighter and nodded.

"And Shane, since Bella has, shall we say, bias in the situation you agreed to interview him?" Mr. Collins continued.

Shane nodded. Bella caught his gaze and he gave her a wink, making Bella grin slightly.

"Bella, the firing of your previous editor, James Freeman, was completely justified?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Past justified," she agreed.

"Shane, do you think Mr. Olsen would be a good fit for the open position?"

The easy going man glanced down at his notes, before looking up and nodding. "No question. As this company is somewhat famous for the opportunities we give to young people, I don't think there's a problem with his age. He's obviously a very competent, likable guy."

"Does he have a feel for the business?"

"Well, Bella sent me his manuscript which she wants to publish, and that was a helluva good one. I think he has a firm grasp of writing and would have no trouble editing. The fact that he's learned from such an experienced editor also is largely beneficial."

Mr. Collin's nodded at Shane and then looked over at Bella. His eyes were stern but vaguely twinkled with amusement.

"Will you be able to keep your relationship out of the workplace?"

Bella let out an amused laugh. "It's shouldn't be a problem, sir."

"Well then I see no reason which you shouldn't hire this young man. I think he will be an asset to the company."

Bella smiled as her and Shane stood up.

"Thanks, Mr. Collins," she said as they turned to leave the office.

"Wait, Bella, if you could stay for just a moment," he called before she and Shane could exit.

Curious, Bella turned on her heel and went back to where she had just been sitting. Once she was seated, she saw the kind exterior of the older man appear.

"I just wanted to see how you have been doing these past couple months," he explained.

Bella pursed her lips together before sighing. "It's been hard, but it's getting better."

Mr. Collins nodded. "While I've always been impressed by your tenacity, I do hope you haven't been working too hard."

She shrugged. "I haven't had as much time to work myself into the ground lately."

"Oh?"

Bella realized her answer was incredibly vague.

"After my friend's death, I moved into her house and I've been helping her husband with their 16 month old daughter, so-"

Mr. Collins chuckled, "So she keeps you on your toes I'd imagine."

Bella cracked a smile, "That she does."

Mr. Collins leaned back in his chair and seemed to look at her in contemplation. "Something seemed changed about you. I couldn't pinpoint it until today. I assumed you have just felt out of your element, but I had figured that Mr. Olsen would perhaps rectify the situation."

Bella was silent.

"It doesn't seem he has," he concluded softly.

Bella sighed once more. "No, he hasn't. I just miss them."

"I'd imagine you do."

"But," she forced a smile, "I don't think it's been affecting my work this week."

"True," he allowed, "but you're also not the smartass intern who always has been my favorite."

Bella grinned slightly.

"You know, Tuesday's concluding lunch really will not be all that important…"

~O~

Later that evening, Bella was on the phone, and she felt lighter than she had all week.

"So, Molly decided it wasn't enough that her face was covered in marinara sauce, but decided to grab my face…"

Bella laughed, "And who could say no to those eyes?"

"That is why my hair is in a Mohawk of red sauce."

"And I'm sure you look fabulous!"

"I suppose spaghetti isn't always the best choice in life," he replied.

She grinned. "You realize that that kid will make your hair into a Mohawk with whatever type of food you give her, right?"

"Do you think a hair net is in order?"

"Oh definitely. Or you could go bald. They're both valid options."

Edward chuckled, "I would look _so_ bad bald."

"Don't worry, I've seen your high school pictures. You don't even look good with a buzz cut."

"Okay," he defended, "It's not my fault that I thought that hairstyle would make me look more badass and get me on the varsity football team."

"Weren't you a freshman?"

"Okay," he conceded, "It was my fault."

Bella let out a laugh that echoed in her empty hotel room. She smiled.

"I've missed you and Molly," she admitted almost quietly.

"We've missed you too, Bella," he replied with a soft sincerity.

"I-"

Bella was interrupted mid thought by a knock on her room door. She knew it had to be Landon, who said he would be stopping by that evening.

"I gotta go," she said with regret.

"Okay, that's alright. Goodnight, Bella."

"'Night, Edward."

Bella sighed as she set her phone on the bed and went to answer the door.

"Hey," Bella greeted, finding Landon standing in the hallway.

"Hello," he replied, grinning and giving her a quick kiss.

"How'd you like Shane?" she asked as he stepped into the room. Bella walked across the room with him and then stepped out onto the balcony, Landon following her as he replied.

Landon shrugged. "He's a good guy. He was nice and direct with the interview."

Bella had something akin to a grimace.

"Wait, why? Is something wrong?" Landon asked, seeing her face.

"Landon," she sighed, "We need to talk."

"Shit," Landon swore softly, something he never did.

Bella gave an apologetically sad smile.

"Look, don't stress yourself out if I don't get the job. Just tell me, sweetheart, I can take it."

She shook her head, painfully aware of how her heart was clenching at what she had to tell him.

Bella leaned against the balcony, the New York night breeze ruffling her hair. "No, I mean we really need to talk."

Hearing the tone of her voice, Landon rested his forearms on the railing next to her, shoulders slumped slightly.

"What's wrong, Bella?"

Bella ran her hand through her hair and looked at him sadly.

"Landon, this relationship hasn't been fair to you."

"Are you craz-"

Bella shook her head, stopping him.

"No, please listen; it hasn't been."

She let out a shaky breath, seeing the confusion and concern in his beautiful eyes.

"Landon, meeting you has been amazing. You are such an incredible guy and I can hardly believe I was lucky enough to date you."

"Was?" he asked sadly.

Bella just shook her head.

"I'm not so sure things are working about between us, and that's my fault."

He frowned as he gazed at her. "What?"

"I just can't be the everything that you deserve."

With a shock, Bella realized a tear had slipped out of her eye. She slowly it wiped away.

"Had I met you just a few weeks earlier, it would have been a whole other story. You're everything that I've wanted in a man," she wiped at another tear. "But I've changed, Landon. I'm not the person I used to be, and I can't be the one to give you the love that you so deserve."

"And I'm sorry," she added, her voice breaking.

Before she knew what was happening, strong arms wrapped around her and her against his chest.

The gesture made her cry.

Bella wished more than anything that she could fall in love with Landon. He was essentially her dream man. But something just didn't click into place like it was supposed to. And she realized at the airport that morning that it wasn't fair to keep going on the way they were.

As much as she wanted him to be, Landon wasn't home.

She wasn't sure exactly what or whom home was, but her heart was telling her that it wasn't Landon. And as much as she didn't want to, it was time to let him go.

"I really am sorry," she whispered, sniffling against him.

Landon pulled back slightly, his hands resting gently on her arms. "For what? For not forcing a relationship? For being honest with me?"

"For not…just…you're such an amazing guy…but my heart just…ugh."

Landon smiled at her with sadness. "Bella, I'd forgive you if there was anything to forgive."

"How are you not mad at me?"

"Oh Bella," he said, kissing the top of her head. "I think this past summer you went through pain that was so deep that it can do nothing but change a person. If I was mad at you, I'd be nothing but an asshole; pardon my language."

Bella let out a teary laugh at the sweet, well-mannered gentleman who thought his PG curse word would offend her.

"Thank you for these past couple months. You truly were amazing, especially when I was struggling."

Landon gave her a soft squeeze and then released her from his embrace.

"The job's yours if you want it," she told him quietly.

Landon looked at her in surprise, obviously not having expected that news.

"Really?" he asked.

Bella nodded with a slight smile on her lips.

"Are okay you if I take it? Will it be awkward?"

"I wouldn't have offered you the job if I didn't want you there. Honestly, I'm sure this will sound like nails on chalkboard, but I would really like to stay friends with you Landon. That is, if you want."

Landon, the handsome, muscular intern with the stormy grey eyes, smiled at her like the first day she had met him.

"I'd like that, Bella."

Bella hugged him tightly.

She knew she was listening to her heart, but her brain was just having trouble following, and it sucked.

"I really am sorry," she whispered as she broke away from him.

Landon nodded. "I know."

Their eyes locked for a moment in which many emotions passed mutually through them. The moment was over when Bella let out a soft sigh.

"I should get going," he said.

Bella nodded and walked him out of the room.

Before Bella was about to close the door to her room, she peaked her head out the door into the hallway.

"Oh and Landon?"

He turned back and looked at her.

"You completely earned that job."

Landon cracked a small smile. "Thanks, boss."

And then he was on his way down the hallway and up a few floors to where his room was located.

Bella fell onto the bed, or rather, collapsed onto it. She brought her hands up to her face and laid there, feeling shitty.

She wasn't sure who she was anymore.

Landon was a great guy, and she let him go. It wouldn't be fair to him to go on with her not feeling the same as he did, but it frustrated her so completely. She didn't know why she didn't feel the same. She thought she had. But for some reason, Landon just didn't invoke feelings of love in her.

She wondered if she really had changed that much after Taylor's death.

_Yes_, she thought with a start, she truly had.

Taylor was a part of her life in a huge way and when she died, Bella had lost a part of herself. But Taylor was always with her in her heart, and just not in body. Perhaps that transition from the presence of body to soul is what had changed Bella.

Whatever it was, Bella was lost. She wasn't sure where her life would be going. It's an odd thing for someone who had a steady career which they loved, to think. But she didn't know what the future held for her.

She realized that Edward and Molly were a source of confusion for her. She wouldn't be with them forever. She was only with them currently because Taylor had requested it in a will, and for six months. But what happened when those six months passed? They had already surpassed the halfway mark a little bit ago.

Then what?

How was she going to leave the life that she was just beginning to see beauty and love in?

~O~

He'd done it.

It had happened.

He had added Mtn. Dew to his caffeinated life.

Emmett called it the_ green elixir of life._ While Edward was usually just okay with coffee, he had taken to adding the soda into his caloric intake.

It hadn't been a hard week per say…but it had been a little rough and tiring.

Mostly, he was just so tired. He wasn't distraught, he wasn't drowning in pain, and he wasn't out of touch with reality in any way. He was just tired.

Molly was wearing him out to say the least. The little girl was now running around like crazy and on occasion falling which led to very loud crying. She was grabbing everything and babbling incoherently. Edward loved the little thing to death, but he was exhausted.

Edward's sleep patterns had also been discouraging. He just was not getting the full night's sleep that his body had become adjusted to. Instead, his sleep was not connected and hardly resting at all.

The one night that he got his fullest night of sleep had been after being on the phone with Bella for less than 10 minutes. It only furthered his notion had Bella had an incredibly calming and constant presence in his life that he had come to depend on.

But, alas, Mtn. Dew had still prevailed. Three cups of coffee just didn't cut it after Bella being gone for nearly a week. He had had to add the green pop to his afternoon and evening routine because otherwise there would be no way for him to make it Molly's bedtime.

Said bedtime was quickly approaching. Molly was being uncharacteristically quiet as she sat on the rug in the living room and swatted at one of her toy pianos (on which the volume had been turned down by Edward) quite content.

Edward was taking advantage of the momentary quiet and sitting on the couch, getting some work done on his laptop. Every so often he'd glance over at his daughter and smile at how utterly beautiful she was.

Still, something was missing from the peaceful night.

And he knew that that something was a certain, sarcastic brunette.

Bella would be arriving in the state in two days, on an early morning flight. So two it was in nights, but really only about a day's time. He was anxious to see her and have her home once again. Molly was too, even if she wasn't as developed in her thoughts.

"Dada!" Molly sang happily, looking over at him with bright eyes.

Edward grinned. "I see you, baby girl."

"Pana!"

"Yes, you are playing the piano," he chuckled. "You're going to have to be getting to sleep pretty soon, pumpkin."

Molly seemed unconcerned by the prospect and continued pounding on the colorful, plastic piano.

Edward rolled his eyes. He was about to resume typing when the echo of the doorbell rang through the house.

"I wonder who that is…" Edward muttered as he pushed himself off the couch and made for the door.

Confused as to who could possibly be at his house at that time of day, Edward warily opened the door.

"Bella!" he gasped.

"Hey stranger," she smiled.

Edward pulled her over the threshold and wrapped her completely in his arms, hugging her against him with the strength of a madman.

And to Bella, it felt like home.

"It's so good to see you," he murmured against her.

Bella squeezed him back even tighter.

"You don't even know the half of it," she whispered.

For just a moment, Edward didn't care why she was here. All he could think about was how good it felt to have her again. And Bella completely forgot about all of the shit that she had been dealing with, and for the first time in a week, was content.

"What are you doing here?" he finally asked as they pulled slightly away from each other.

Bella smiled. "My boss gave me permission to skip tomorrow."

Edward hugged her again. "Best boss ever."

"My thoughts exactly," she laughed.

The duo turned when they heard a noise from where Molly was. Bella positively lit up when she saw the little girl getting to her feet in excitement.

"There's my little Molly monster!" Bella exclaimed in a coo as she crossed the space between them.

Molly held her arms up in the air, a big smile on her tiny face.

Bella scooped the toddler up in her arms effortlessly. She hugged the little body tightly against her, rocking slightly.

Molly nuzzled close to Bella, leaning her head in the crook of Bella's neck happily.

"Mama!"

Bella reeled back in shock. The word had taken her by so much surprise that she was afraid to even look at Edward.

"No, sweetie pie, it's Bella," she corrected her softly.

Molly merely gave a content sigh, unmoving from where she was snuggled in. Instead, she just place one of her hands on Bella's chest.

"Mama," she repeated insistently.

Bella closed her eyes and hesitantly lifted her hand to stroke the little girl's soft hair.

"Bel-la," she tried once more.

Molly moved away from her neck for a moment and peered up at Bella before snuggling back against her. "Mama," she said.

"Oh sweetie," Bella said with a sigh, wrapping the little girl into as tight of hug as she could give.

Unable to fight the draw, Bella slowly glanced back to where she had left Edward.

He was leaning almost completely against a wall and had one hand lifted and running slowly through his hair as he stared at the two of them, too surprised to even have visible reaction.

"Oh Molly," Bella said in a voice barely above a whisper as she rocked the sweet toddler.

"You know," Edward said in a voice which was noticeably strained. She noted that his eyes were misty. "I…I think she might be right."

Bella looked at him with wide eyes.

"You're the closest thing she's got to a mom now, Bella."

* * *

_The world is coming down on me _  
_And I can't find a reason to be loved_  
_I never wanna leave you but_  
_I can't make you bleed if I'm alone_  
_You put your arms around me_  
_And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go..._

_I hope that you see right through my walls_  
_I hope that you catch me 'cause I'm already falling_  
_I'll never let a love get so close_  
_You put your arms around me and I'm home_  
Arms, Christina Perri

* * *

**AN:** Oh man. Intense huh? This was really a biggie, and not even the huge end of Part II that I promised.

Let's take a poll. Best line of the chapter?  
A) "If I was mad at you, I'd be nothing but an asshole; pardon my language."  
B) And to Bella, it felt like home.  
C) "Mama!"  
D) "I…I think she might be right, you're the closest thing she's got to a mom now, Bella."

I think was so incredibly huge for all three of these guys. We're not quite to romantic feelings yet, but this was big. Landon will pop by occasionally, just to let us know how he's doing, but otherwise, this is the end for him. But definitely a few beginning in that end.

Dying to hear your thoughts! (:


	28. Damn It

**AN:** I have a new poll on my profile page if anyone cares to check it out(:

* * *

Damn It.

Most people say it and most people aren't thrilled with the circumstances that led up to them saying the phrase.

Some situations are merely that of annoyance and the speaker is used to having a colorful language style. Other times, the circumstances are so utterly game changing that it can only be summed up by those two words.

Damn it.

It seemed like an easy way to sum up how utterly shaken up her life was about to become.

Again.

~O~

"Twick weat!"

Bella laughed as she scooped the little girl up into her arms.

"Did you get a lot of candy, pumpkin?"

"Twick weat!"

Bella grinned. "Close enough."

Edward dropped onto the couch and chuckled. "As a kid, had I known that merely mangling the phrase "Trick or Treat" would get you that much more candy, I would have lived a better life."

Bella, who was pretending to drop Molly only to pull her back up and make her giggle, laughed.

"They let her take as much as she wanted, didn't they?"

Edward help up Molly's plastic pumpkin and shook it, its contents heavy. "Do you think we could have gone to 10 houses and gotten all of this if they hadn't?"

Molly, who was quite an experienced walker and talker, had been deemed old enough to trick or treat this Halloween. However, she wasn't quite old enough to eat most of the candy as there were a lot of choking hazards. So, Edward had taken her over to Taylor's parents, and then a few houses around their neighborhood, since their neighbors were pretty far apart.

"Well I've had 13 trick or treaters, so it's been a busy night!"

Edward looked at her smugly. "I told you we never get any here."

Bella rolled her eyes. "I don't understand why you're so happy about that."

"It's not the lack of children asking for candy that makes me happy, so much as being right."

The little girl dressed up as a lion spoke up.

"Mama!"

Bella looked down at the wiggling toddler. "What, honey?" she asked, bouncing her slightly.

"Rawrrr!" she exclaimed, holding her hand out like a paw.

The past month, or rather six weeks had been interesting, but not really bad in any way.

The night that Molly had insisting on calling Bella "Mama," had been somewhat of a defining point of where their lives were at and their relationship. The word had shocked both Edward and Bella so incredibly. Neither had been expecting it and neither had any idea on how to handle it.

When Edward had told Bella that he was okay with Molly calling her that and even understood why she did, Bella was even more surprised. His approval didn't stop her from trying to convince Molly that her name was Bella. Molly, however, chose to ignore her in such a blatantly toddler way.

Later that evening when Bella and Edward had been lying in bed, they had discussed the turning of events. Bella had been very impressed with the calm and rational way that Edward had handled the situation. He had pointed out that as Molly's godmother, she was really the main mother figure left in her life, and if Bella was okay with, he didn't see any harm in Molly's words.

Bella hadn't been uncomfortable about it…perhaps merely unsettled. It had taken some time to get adjusted to it, and a part of her still wondered what would happen when she left in the first week of December. But, the little girl's big blue eyes easily melted through her heart.

So the autumn passed by peacefully and even filled with some fun for the Cullen-Swan household. Together with Molly, they went to a pumpkin patch, carved jack-o-lanterns, raked the large number of leaves and watched Casper the Friendly Ghost. Looking back on the last few weeks, it had been nice, Bella concluded.

Edward and Bella talked about many things, some heavy, some not. One of the things they had been somewhat mute was on the topic of their sleeping arrangement. Bella still slept in Edward's bed. Since her business trip in New York and the lack of sleep that they had both gotten over that week, neither of them were particularly keen on trying once more.

They also avoided topics about the future. Both of them knew with complete certainty that in two months, the request of Taylor's will would be fulfilled. Neither of them, however, knew what that would mean.

Bella sat down on the couch next to Edward, lightly jostling the little lion. Edward casually rested his arm on the top of the couch around them as he smiled at his daughter.

Bella leaned over to the plastic pumpkin which held Molly's candy and peered in to its contents. "What of this do you think we can let her have?"

Edward leaned in to look. "Well…definitely not the Skittles or M & M's…but this squished Reece's Cup should be okay."

Molly watched curiously as her dad unwrapped the chocolate treat and offered it to her. She leaned it and cautiously took a small bite. Bella and Edward both began to laugh when she enthusiastically went in for another, much larger bite.

"Your first chocolate!" Bella proclaimed excitedly, kissing the top of her head.

Edward smirked, still holding the candy for her. "Definitely her father's daughter," he agreed.

"I don't know why but Taylor hated chocolate more than reasonably possible," Bella shook her head.

Edward grinned while Molly finished it off.

"Maybe you liked pink and ate enough chocolate for the both of you," he suggested.

Bella laughed. "That would make sense I suppose."

They smiled at each other for a moment before Molly tried to dig in her candy. The two then had to hide it from her eye sight, because nothing was worse than a toddler on a sugar high.

Eventually, Edward turned on the TV to see if there were any Halloween specials on.

"Hocus Pocus!" Bella exclaimed excitedly as Edward flipped through channels.

Edward gave her an incredulous look. "You're kidding me."

Bella returned the look. "You don't like Hocus Pocus?"

"You do?"

"Of course! The real question is why you don't!"

"It's creepy as f-" he replied, grimacing at the TV which showed the Sanderson Sisters who had disturbed him as a child.

"It's a Halloween classic. You live a terrible life if you don't agree."

Edward rolled his eyes. He glanced down to his lap where Molly was resting, and saw that she was enthralled with the brightly colored witches on the screen. When he met Bella's glance, she was grinning triumphantly.

"Fine. But I'll hate every minute of it."

Bella chuckled. "Please Edward, your holiday spirit is overwhelming me. Have some control."

Edward just teasingly narrowed his eyes in reply.

They were watching the movie for nearly five minutes before Edward's eyes strayed over to Bella. She was looking little while away on the couch, and compared to him and Molly, she looked so lonely.

"Hey," he whispered, "We don't bite over here."

Bella looked at the arm he had raised to make room for her. She gave him a soft smile as she shifted to be under the weight of his arm and curled up against him and Molly.

As a black cat talked on the TV and both Molly and Bella watched with avid interest, Edward's eyes trailed around the living room.

His gaze settled on the fireplace mantle. He was drawn to the newest picture to have been placed on it. The picture had been a gift from Rosalie when they had returned from their honeymoon a while ago.

She had the picture of Molly, Edward and Bella framed. It had been the picture taken by the wedding photographer on the day of elder Cullen's nuptials. It was the photo that the photographer had taken, saying she wanted to capture a picture of the lovely family.

Edward really liked the picture, and he knew Bella did as well, because its message rang sincere.

They were a family.

~O~

The first snow storm hit the Midwest at an expected time. It was two weeks prior to Thanksgiving when the weathermen predicted a thick blanket of snow appearing on the ground the next morning.

At work, Bella couldn't stop glancing out her window at the grey and unmistakable snow clouds. They loomed overhead with both promise and threat which left the area in a state of anticipation, excitement, and for some who continually wondered why they lived there, dread.

Bella was anxiously awaiting the flurries to begin, eager to have snow surrounding her. She loved the first snow fall of the year, and that particular year, it promised to be especially satisfying.

Landon Olsen, associate editor, walked into her office, tearing her gaze away from the windows.

"Here to get your parking validated again?" Bella teased with a grin.

Landon took the jibe in good grace and laughed. "That was only one time. How was I supposed to know that it would provide you with endless amusement?"

Bella smirked. "What can I do for you then?"

"Will you be needing anything with my manuscript still today?" he wondered.

Bella stood up from her chair and began to gather her things. "Nope, I'm out of here and it looks like you are too."

It was said as a statement, but Bella had hinted at a question.

Landon held the door open for her. "Yeah, I have to get going."

"Where are you taking her?" Bella asked knowingly. As far as she knew, Landon did not have a girlfriend to date, but he appeared to be anxious about something, and she assumed it was a date.

Landon chuckled. "Basketball game at the Target Center."

"Where do you get the money to support your hobby of watching professional athletics?"

"I happen to get paid pretty well," he laughed.

Bella grinned.

"Have fun," she nudged him.

Landon nudged her back. "Thanks, boss."

On her way home, Bella swung by Molly's daycare to pick her up. The ever growing toddler babbled to herself in the back seat, making Bella laugh at the random things she was rambling about. She also noted that the little girl would be needing a haircut soon, as her hair was rapidly beginning to cover her big blue eyes.

Later that even as she gave Molly a bath (she had volunteered since Edward and gotten home later and hadn't got a chance to eat dinner) she came to a somewhat startling conclusion.

She was content.

But what's more, she was the closest to happy that she had been in months, including the time before Taylor's death.

The joy that Molly brought to her life and the companionship provided by Edward were two things that she had come to value above almost everything else.

She and Edward had come up with a routine which allowed each of them not only time to themselves, but time with Molly and with each other. Edward seemed lighter as time went on, Bella even dared to think that he may be on his way to content as well.

Bella's musings were interrupted by the said joy of her life, flapping her little arms mightily and splashing a very much clothed Bella.

She just shook her head and grinned. Molly looked up at her with that tiny smirk that she clearly inherited from her father. Little shit.

Later that evening, the chill of the evening had gotten to Bella. As soon as she was in her pajamas, she darted from the bathroom and dove under the covers of her and Edward's bed, in an effort to stay warmer. Not an inch of her body was left from under the cover to the comforter.

A minutes later, the door opened, but Bella refused to peek out.

"What the hell are you doing?" Edward asked with an amused, yet exasperated sigh.

Bella moved the covers back slightly to expose her face. "I'm cold," she explained simply.

Edward rolled his eyes as he sat on the bed. "The heating is in fact on, you know."

"I'll believe that when I feel it," she retorted, snuggling against her pillow.

Edward laughed. "Well, considering you were the one to turn it on, I'm thinking that you may be just being difficult."

"Who me? Difficult?"

He eyed her in amusement.

"Besides, I don't trust your heating."

"Have you had trust issues since childhood?" he wondered.

"Ever since the whole Santa thing."

Edward shook his head as he tapped at his phone. "I'm sorry, I should be more considerate of your struggles."

"I forgive you." Bella peered over his shoulder to see what he was messing with. "Whatcha doing?"

"Setting the alarm for earlier in the morning that usual," he explained.

"Why?" she wondered as he set down the phone.

"In case we get enough snow that we get snowed in and I have to get the snow blower out."

_How domestic,_ Bella thought with a sort of wry amusement.

Edward stood up and went over to the window where the blinds were still open. He moved to close them when Bella stopped him.

"Wait! Do you think we could leave them open? Just for tonight?" she asked.

Edward looked at her curiously. "Sure I guess."

"I just love how light but still dark the sky gets when it's going to snow," she offered by way of explanation.

Easily conceding, Edward moved from the window and crossed the room to flip off the light switch before getting into bed.

"Shit!" he cursed loudly when his legs brushed against Bella's feet. They were the temperature of ice, perhaps colder.

"I told you," she said smugly.

They settled into the quiet with Bella occasionally pressing her cold toes against his warm legs, just to make him squirm a bit.

"Look!" she whispered, when she noticed the window.

She felt him lean somewhat over her so that he could peer into the night.

"It's so beautiful," she whispered, observing the giant, fluffy snowflakes that were gliding down to the earth.

"It really is," he replied quietly, as if the knowledge somehow surprised him.

"Happy first snow fall," she smiled, looking up at him.

Edward grinned softly. He leaned down and softly pressed his warm lips against the soft skin of her cheek, leaving their gentle presence on her face for no more than a moment.

"Happy first snow fall, Bella."

~O~

"Since the kid is gone, does that mean we get to have wine?" Edward called from over in the kitchen.

Bella laughed. "I think so!"

Molly was spending the Friday evening with Nick and Mary, Taylor's parents. They'd be dropping her off once she was asleep, as they promised to tire her out.

Bella had just developed all of the pictures on her camera from the past half a year. It came out to be about 500 pictures, all of which she currently had sprawled across the coffee table as she examined them.

Edward was shocked not only at the fact that she had so many pictures, but also that she developed them all at once. The stack was about eight inches tall.

Two glasses filled with red wine in hand, Edward entered the living room and sat down on the couch next to Bella, handing her a glass. The large stone fireplace was lit and roaring, chasing the chill away. They rarely lit it since Molly was so little and it was dangerous to have her by. But the warm glow it provided around the room made Bella wish they indulged on it more often.

"What do you have there?" Edward asked, leaning to see which pictures she was looking at. "Ah, the proposal."

Bella grinned as she flipped through the pictures featuring mostly Alice and Jasper.

"It certainly took them long enough, huh?"

"But Jasper made up for it with how cute it was," Bella pointed out.

The next picture she got to showed the carved pumpkin that glowed, "MARRY ME?" Jasper, Alice, Emmett and Rose and Edward and Bella had all gone to Carlisle and Esme's house to carve pumpkins and dote over Molly. The pumpkin Jasper had carved along with the rest of them had had a generic face on it.

When it had been time to see the pumpkins glowing in the night, Jasper volunteered to go light them and when everybody went out to see, the only pumpkin there was the one asking for marriage, with him kneeling next it.

Edward smiled. "He really did kick ass on that," he conceded.

Bella grinned as she looked at the picture of her and her sister beaming from ear to ear that evening. Bella had been named maid of honor within minutes of the proposal.

"Well at least Emmett can go find someone else to bug about getting married now," she chuckled. Edward laughed at the picture of Jasper and Emmett, the latter with two giant thumbs ups.

"What's this stack?" Edward asked as he picked up a thicker pile off the coffee table.

"The tennis girls," Bella answered. She sipped her wine as she leaned in closer to see him flip through them.

"You really love them, huh?" he asked with an air of admiration.

Bella nodded. "They're an amazing group of girls. And to see them go through a season so successfully, placing 3rd in state…it was fun."

The entire two months or so that Bella had assisted Kessler with the high school tennis team had been incredibly rewarding. Spending time at the courts where she had practically lived with Taylor, bonding with the girls, watching them grow as players and getting to talk with Kessler had really helped her heal in ways that she couldn't entirely describe.

And they had dedicated their season to Taylor, something that none of them had forgotten.

"I wish I would have had Kessler as a coach in high school," Edward commented. Bella looked over at a picture of Kessler and her grinning and holding the section trophy with arms around each other's shoulders.

"He's really one of those people that everyone should have somewhere in their life," she agreed as they looked at a picture of her and Courtney and Rebecca the 7th grade doubles team she had spent so much time with.

"You two are a lot alike," he noted as they flipped past a team photo.

"I know."

"You've been told that before?" he wondered.

Bella shrugged as the picked up the bottle of wine and poured more into each of their glasses.

"A couple times," she said as she settled back on the couch. "But I kind of figured it out myself when I was younger."

"Did Taylor ever notice?" he wondered.

"I'm sure, though she never really commented on it. One of the man's faults when it comes to coaching is his tendency to unconsciously make his favorites known. And I think that bothered her when we first started playing."

"You were his favorite?"

Bella shrugged again, not denying the notion.

"I can see how he would probably get along with you better than Taylor."

"What do you mean?" she asked, sipping her wine.

"Well, there's something about you that people almost automatically respect and like you. You're just mature, and if I had to guess, I'd say you always have been. And the whole witty banter thing? You've just got that down."

Bella laughed, knowing it was true.

"And Taylor was always just a sweetie, but sometimes very ditzy."

Bella snorted. "Sometimes? I loved her but she was usually very ditzy."

The grin on Edward's face betrayed that he agreed with exactly what she was talking about.

"Are you going to coach next year?" he asked, moving to set down the pictures.

"We'll see where I'm at then. I'd like to anyways."

Edward nodded, drinking some of his wine due to the pause of the conversation.

"Pictures from the 4th of July?" he asked, picking up a small stack of photos. Bella nodded and leaned over so that they could flip through the pictures together from the 4th of July spent at the cabin. Everyone was tan and basking in the sun, enjoying one of the first days of fun since Taylor's passing.

By the time they were done with that stack, they were finishing their second glasses of wine. Neither had indulged on alcohol lately and the taste was rich and delicious.

"Have you seen the wedding pictures?" she wondered.

"A few here and there."

Bella reached for one of the larger stacks and handed it to him. "I was a shutterbug that day."

Edward laughed at the picture on the top of Emmett and Molly. Molly was making that face with her furrowed eyebrows as she looked around in confusion, and Emmett looking dapper in his tux, was mirroring the face.

"They're definitely related."

The next photo was of Emmett and Rosalie during their first dance as husband and wife. The look of complete adoration and love that they had for each other left both Edward and Bella with soft smiles on their face.

"We should give this one to your dad for Christmas," Bella suggested as they reached the next photo.

Molly had her small hand resting on her grandpa Carlisle's cheek and he was gazing at her with fondness that sparkled in his eyes.

"That's a good idea," he agreed.

The next photo was of Molly and Bella.

"I have no idea who had my camera. I think it might have been Alice."

The picture was very sweet. It was clear that neither girl knew the picture was being taken at the time. Bella was holding the little girl in her arms and had handed Molly her bouquet to see. Bella was leaning down and placing her lips on Molly's soft head in tender and raw affection.

Edward was mesmerized by the picture. The beauty of not only the act, but of the two girls that were so important in his life closed his throat slightly.

It took him longer than the previous pictures to move it to the back of the pile. Bella looked at him curiously but said nothing.

The next photo had been taken by Esme, she knew that for sure. Bella had managed to persuade Edward out onto the dance floor and discovered with surprise that Edward was quite a good dancer.

The picture had captured Edward smiling down at Bella as she laughed at something he had said. It caused both of them to look at it closely.

"I like this one," he whispered.

Bella nodded, "So do I."

Their eyes locked in a silent yet powerful moment of connection. Their gaze spoke volumes, communicating everything yet knowing nothing.

Neither could say who had moved forward first. It might have been her that leaned up just a fraction of an inch, or it might have been his slight decline that had initiated it.

In several slow, emotionally charged moments, Edward's lips had descended down on to her, pressing against her lips softly and tentatively.

Bella pressed gently back against him, feeling electrified at the contact, her senses heightened by the wine that she could taste against his lips.

Edward took her lower lip in between his as she responded to his kiss. Bella lifted her hand up to the back of his head as one of his hands tenderly cupped her cheek.

When Edward felt the tip of her tongue touch against his lip, he felt an indescribable spark. Bella opened her mouth up to him, and their tongues met with gentle touches that made her ache and want to weep at the sweetness of it.

The taste of the wine only intensified as their lips moved against each other in a dance that seemed perfectly rehearsed. His warmth left Bella burning and all thoughts of chill forgotten. He softly brushed against her cheek, shocked at how incredibly smooth it was while she ran her hands through his soft hair.

After a while, Bella was breathless and had to pull away for air. Each of them gasped as Edward rested his forehead against hers, trying to catch his own breath.

And then suddenly, with the regaining of her breath, it hit what had just happened.

With foreheads together and hands still pulling one another close, the realization of what they had just shared weighed on both of them.

_Damn it._

* * *

_Watching you watching me  
A fine way to fall asleep  
The neighbors fight as  
We both rest our eyes_

_Hands in the fallen snow_  
_Numb to the winter cold but we don't mind_

_'Cause we'll get warm inside_

_You're the reason I come home  
You're the reason I come home my love  
You're the reason that when everything I know falls apart  
You're the reason I come home  
_You're the Reason I Come Home, Ron Pope

* * *

**AN:** OH MY SHIT DID THAT JUST HAPPEN? Yes, yes it did. Oh em gee, I'm freaking out and I wrote this months ago.

Some of you are thrilled and some you are ready to tell me there is no way they get together and the rest of you are like, well what the hell happens next? And I actually can't wait to hear these thoughts!

The end of this chapter was big, but it was also kind of a nice transitional chapter. Bella's content! And the three of them had a lovely autumn and Alice and Jasper are getting married! Things are/_were_ going quite well for the trio.

What do you think is going to happen next? How will Edward react? How will Bella react? How will Kessler make it into the next chapter? How will you live waiting two weeks for an update? (I'll be in Arizona, so an update is not likely...) Who loved the kiss on the cheek part? Lemme know! (:


	29. Game Changers

Game Changers.

The term is widely used when referring to sports, ranging from football all the way to rowing.

It applies to either a person or an event which changes the momentum and possibly outcome of the game. It can be good for some, but every game has losers.

He had played football in high school. He'd been a quarterback, odd considering it hadn't even been the position he respected the most. He had always respected the defensive players that had the opportunity to get an interception at any throw and change the whole game.

He also learned football is a lot like life. In life there are game changers, and some can't even compare to a football game.

He wasn't sure if the game was changing for good or not.

~O~

For a single moment in time, the only noises that filled a room were the gasps from two people and the crackling of a roaring fire.

With a very intense and passionate kiss just occurring only moments before, both were frozen over what had just occurred.

As Edward's forehead was still resting against Bella's, he was able to pinpoint the exact second in which Bella stiffened.

The wine they had shared had dulled his senses and it took him longer than it usually would have to figure out why she had suddenly mentally withdrawn.

"Fuck," he whispered.

Bella agreed with sentiments silently.

Abruptly, Edward pulled away from her. Bella watched him as he stood up from the chair, clumsily placing the stack of pictures they had been looking at on the coffee table. He turned and started walking in the opposite direction, towards the front door.

He didn't meet her eyes even for a second.

"I need to go out."

And he was gone.

The kiss had ended, and within almost a minute, Edward was out the door. Bella heard his car, which was parked on the driveway, start up.

Bella brought her knees up to her chest and buried her face in her hands. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," she chanted quietly to herself, distraught.

"What the hell did I just do?" she whispered to herself.

Bella wasn't sure if she had leaned in to initiate the kiss or if it had been Edward. She couldn't say exactly how long it had lasted, or what had been going through either of their minds at the time. Only one thing registered in her mind.

She had just kissed her dead best friend's husband.

"Fuck," she repeated again. She had screwed up so fucking bad that her heart clenched at how stupid she was.

Bella lifted her head from her hands and looked at the coffee table in dismay. The picture of her and Edward dancing was still on the top of the stack which Edward had hastily discovered.

In that photo, she was frozen in time, laughing at something she couldn't even remember. And he was smiling at her in way that could describe their relationship; warmly.

But looking at that photo, she didn't see that smile. She only saw what his face looked like when he had pulled away from her only moments ago.

Disgust.

The look of complete and utter disgust on his face, consumed her.

She had fucked everything up. She had just screwed up any normalcy they had had and now, she was certain of nothing.

And she didn't know what to do.

Bella had no idea where to go from here, and she had no clue how to get an idea of where to go. In a situation like this, she would call Taylor; Bella wouldn't always get sound advice from the blonde, but she could at least get it off her chest.

Since Taylor died, her and Edward had turned to one another and formed a very strong friendship. He would be who she would go to. But she couldn't.

With shaky hands, Bella pulled her phone out of her pocket. Alice. The sister who she had always had a good relationship with, but had always seemed to pale in comparison with Taylor.

Bella dialed her sister's number and waited for an answer. It was on the last ring that she picked up. She didn't wait for Bella to speak.

"Hey Bell, Mom and I are at a movie, can I call you later?" she asked in a hushed voice, implying that she was in fact at a movie theater.

"Sure," Bella choked out. And then there was a dial tone.

Feeling the tears threaten to spill out of her eyes, Bella dialed Rosalie's number. Her heart sank with each passing ring, and by the time she got to Rose's voice asking her to leave a message, tears of frustration and confusion were slipping slowly out of her eyes.

Ignoring the tears, she dialed the last number who she could think of. It was a Saturday night in the fall, meaning her father would be enthralled with college football and would have no idea what was going on. So that left both her parents out.

She called the one person who had never failed to set her straight.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Kessler," Bella sighed.

"Swan, what's up?" he asked seriously, recognizing her less than upbeat tone.

"You know how you've always given the team your number? And told all of us to call you if we ever are struggling?"

"Yes," he answered.

"Does that apply only to tennis issues?" she asked, trying and failing to hide the tremor in her voice.

"Of course not. Bella, are you okay?"

In a quiet voice, she told him, "I messed up Kessler. Big time"

"What happened?"

"I kissed my dead best friend's husband," Bella let out, finally wiping at the tears, though they didn't stop. "Really fucked up, huh?"

"Bella-"

"I know. God, I can't believe it. I betrayed Taylor; she hasn't been dead for six months, Kessler! I just ruined everything, and now Edward hates me, and I don't know what to do," she choked on her breath, "I just don't know what to do," she repeated quietly.

"Are you by yourself now?" he asked calmly.

"Edward left a second after it happened. He couldn't even look at me. I don't know where he went…oh shit, he shouldn't be driving! We had wine…damn it, it had to have been the wine."

"Sit tight. I'm on my way. It's easier to talk you out of a tree in person."

And she was listening to a dial tone again.

For the five minutes that followed, Bella stared at the roaring fire as if she was in a trance. The tears leaked out of her eyes and steadily continued down her cheeks, only leaving one line as they made their way down her face.

A doorbell rang, and for one terrified moment, she thought it might be Edward. But then she realized that it wasn't likely.

"Come in," she called, her voice cracking.

Bella didn't have to turn to know it was her former tennis coach who seemed to have become her life coach in the span of a few months. She felt the couch next to her dip as he sat down.

"Alright kid, start at the beginning, what happened?" he asked softly.

Bella finally turned her face so one side of her face was resting on her knee as she looked at him. "We were looking at pictures, and drinking wine since Molly's gone and just talking…and then, I don't know, we looked at a picture from his brother's wedding and…it just…yeah."

"How much wine?" he wondered.

"We each had a couple glasses. I'm worried about him, he took off driving and I don't think he was sober enough…" she trailed off, "See? I've fucked everything up," she cried.

"I'm sure Edward's body can handle alcohol better than yours. He has more body mass; he should be okay."

"Kessler, I just keep seeing Taylor's face. This is man was her husband! She should have been sitting next to him tonight, not me! And he knows it too…you-you should have seen his face!"

Bella turned her face back into her knees and began to cry harder, unable to continue to the quiet tears.

She was vaguely aware of the man next to her wrapping on his arms around her shoulders.

"Ah, kid, why do you do this to yourself?"

"I don't know why I did it," she choked, "I-I'm just...God, I'm such a bitch.."

"No, I meant, why do you always carry the weight of the world on your shoulders and blame yourself whenever possible?"

Bella was silent with the exception of her cries.

"And when have I ever let any of my team call others or themselves female dogs? It's demeaning and you're above that."

Bella looked up, and tried to gain control of her breathing long enough to speak. "Taylor was nice, but even…even she would have been thinking it about m-me."

"Bella…" he seemed to weigh his next words carefully, "Taylor…she's not coming back."

"That doesn't change what I did. Edward was figuring life out, he was starting to heal! I was starting to heal! And how, I don't know, because I don't think he'll talk to me again…I- life is just so fucking hard." She looked at him sadly, eyes immediately watering once more, "Why…why can't I just get a break?"

Kessler squeezed her shoulders as she began to cry again. "Ah kid, come on, don't cry."

But Bella was unable to listen to him. She continued to cry, and cry harder when the thought of _why?_ continued to surface in her mind.

Finally, she was sure that she had cried herself tired and felt only a drained feeling of dismay.

"I'm sorry, Bella, that you've been having such a rough go at it lately. You don't deserve it. However, you're still so young yet, and this is making you a remarkably strong person."

He sighed but continued. "Taylor was a fantastic person and so many people will always miss her…but she's gone, Bella. And she left a husband and a kid behind. You've been working yourself tirelessly to make sure that they've been cared for, which you've done admirably."

"But?" she asked tiredly, sensing a further point.

Kessler looked at her with true empathy. "But I think you should remember that these are different circumstances than simply stealing a prom date."

Bella stared at him blankly. "What?" she asked, her lips tipping up a bit.

"I'm saying that even if you two aren't in a relationship or have no desire to be…you're both single adults who have gotten closer in these past few months than some actual couples, add in a little bit of wine, and it's almost predictable what happened tonight."

"And does that make it okay?" she whispered rhetorically.

"It doesn't make it as wrong as you're thinking."

"How do you know that?"

He gave her a haughty look. "You've been listening to my crap for the past 13 years, and _now_ you're questioning me?"

Bella gave him a small, almost unwilling smirk.

"All I'm saying is that this isn't earth shattering. It's going to take a while for you to work through all of your thoughts, but you and Edward should be able to keep going with your lives. Besides, Bella, aren't you only here for a couple more weeks?"

She didn't know what to say. The week after Thanksgiving, six months would be up and she would be free and able to go back to her apartment and on with the life she had been living before Taylor died.

"And I'm sure that's going to be a difficult change as well…but Bella, you're your own person. You're a strong, kick ass young woman and the definition of independent. You know what's right for you. Don't let circumstances define the rest of your life."

"Circumstances?"

"You're not just Bella Swan: friend of late Taylor Daniels, godmother of Molly and healer of Edward. You're Bella Swan: a person in your own right."

"I've only vaguely grasped what you've been saying," she told him.

"That's how I feel whenever you talk in that speed voice of yours," he retorted.

She grinned.

More somberly she said, "Thanks for always having my back."

He smiled. "Once you come onto my team, you're one of my girls."

Bella had appreciated Kessler since she was a teenager. He had always been a unique blend of a father figure and a big brother. And for some reason, her respect for him and their similar personalities had always made it easy to talk to him.

"Is that a ring I see on your sister's finger?" he exclaimed, looking at the proposal stack of pictures on the table.

"Engaged on Halloween," she said as he moved to pick them up.

"Good for Woody Alice!" Bella rolled her eyes at his nickname for the elder Swan.

A soft knock on the front door interrupted Bella's reply. Both she and Kessler glanced over at it.

"That should be Mary and Nick with Molly," she explained, moving to get up.

"I'll get it. I haven't spoken to them since the funeral."

Bella watched as Kessler went over to the front door and opened it. Mary, Taylor's mom was carefully holding a sleeping little girl in her arms, bundled against the cold.

"Patrick!" she exclaimed, surprised at seeing him. He smiled at one of the many tennis moms he had interacted with. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, Bella and I are working on our never ending Scrabble battle," he explained, lying easily.

"How fun! I'll leave you two to it then, I left Nick in the car." Kessler held his arms out to take Molly out of her grandmother's hold. "She was an angel," Mary said, leaning over to tell Bella.

"She usually is," Bella agreed, "Have a good night!"

"You too! Nice seeing you Patrick," she added before slipping out the door and back in the harshly frigid winds.

Kessler walked back to the couch and sat down carefully so not to wake the sleeping child.

"I feel like the end of the 6th, or I guess 3rd Star Wars movie where Obi Wan gives the uncle a sleeping baby that is Luke Skywalker."

Kessler stared at her incredulously.

"Nerd."

Bella rolled her eyes. For the time being, she felt lighter. It might have been the assuring presence brought by Kessler or the soft joy she got when looking at Molly.

"I remember when Hayden was this little," he commented, looking at the little child. Hayden was his son, who was about 11.

"She's a good kid," Bella smiled as Molly shifted closer to his chest in her sleep.

"You know, she's probably going to grow to be a combination of both you and Taylor…Lord help us all."

~O~

It took him six minutes to reach the cemetery.

When he left the house, he hadn't known where he was going; he just knew he had to be somewhere. Within six minutes, he found himself at the cemetery where Taylor was buried. He was almost surprised when he slowed his car down, having been a little out of it while he was driving.

_What the hell did I just do? _

The thought was repeating itself like a broken record, over and over in his head.

He had kissed Bella. And it hadn't just been a peck on cheek or lips; it had been a full blown, passionate and incredibly intense kiss that had lit his body on fire.

He had just kissed his dead wife's best friend.

It was the very best friend who had put her life on hold and moved into his house to help him take care of his daughter and himself.

It was the best friend who slept next to him at night to ensure he got rest.

It was the best friend who had found him sobbing on the bathroom floor when he discovered the Children's Benadryl.

It was the best friend who had reminded him that he was not done with life.

It was the best friend who had saved him.

Bella had saved him.

Over the past six months and as he struggled with everything under the sun, she had been there for him in a way that no other person had ever been. Bella was strong and compassionate, and he couldn't have done it without her.

Yet, something had made him kiss her tonight and jeopardize everything.

He'd like to think it was the wine, but he knew he hadn't been that intoxicated at all.

Edward also wanted to blame it on the setting. It had been cozy and familiar with a cold night and a roaring fire which bathed the room in a golden light that had made her look so breathtakingly pretty.

He could blame it on loneliness...well, no, he couldn't, because he wasn't lonely. He missed Taylor but he had been consciously seeking to replace her.

In utmost honesty, Edward had kissed Bella because he had wanted to.

Edward slowly got out of his car and was attacked by the late November winds. He shrugged his hands into his pockets as he started to walk through the snowy ground, littered with tombstones.

It didn't take him long to read one of the newer ones: Taylor May Cullen. He brushed the couple inches of snow off of the top of the granite before letting his hand rest on the chilled stone.

"I'm sorry," he whispered into the darkness.

He was sorry for two things. Taylor had not been gone for six months and he was kissing a woman in a way that was completely inappropriate: it was a complete disrespect to her memory and he was disgusted with himself.

But he was also sorry about whom that women had been. He had taken advantage of his wife's best friend who was practically her sister. Taylor had been fiercely protective and loyal to Bella, and Edward had completely done the latter a dishonor.

"I just don't know what to," he said quietly, his eyes watering. He was unsure if it was from the chilling wind or the state of dishevel which his life was now in.

"I miss you Tay, and accepting that you're not coming back was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But I did…and I'm still not sure what that means for my life yet."

Edward wiped at his watery eyes before hastily shoving his hands back into the warmth of his pockets.

"I'll never forget you Taylor or the times we spent together, no matter what happens."

Feeling marginally lighter, Edward turned away from the black granite and began to walk back to his car.

Once he was back inside the car, his head fell back against the head rest and he closed his eyes. He needed to figure life out and get his shit together before he went back to the house.

Edward knew he needed to speak with Bella and apologize…but he was also unsure of what her reaction had been or what she had to say about the subject. He had been so appalled with himself that he had left before even looking at her.

He took a calming yet somewhat unsteady breath.

_You went to Harvard, man,_ he told himself, _use your fucking brain and figure it out._

Edward sat in the cold car for two hours.

By the time he put his keys into the ignition, ready to go home, he arrived at a conclusion. He needed to mend things with Bella enough that it wasn't overly awkward and so that she left his house in a couple weeks on good terms.

For the first time, he had really thought about Bella leaving the house. The thought had always been distant, yet never completely out of his mind. He didn't want her to go, but it wasn't even remotely reasonable to ask her to stay any longer than she had.

He needed to let her go with her life.

When he was within eyesight of his house, he was confused to see a car that wasn't Nick nor Mary's pulling out of the driveway and heading the other direction. The thought that Bella had had to call someone made him feeling guiltier than before.

With a held breath, Edward entered the front door. The living room was empty. He crossed the distance to the kitchen which was also empty?

Had she left?

Her car had been in the garage but she could have left with whoever had been pulling out of the driveway. Where had she gone?

Edward was growing more and more panicked as he climbed the stairs. His shoulders sagged in relief when he saw a crack of light from behind Molly's door.

More nervous than he cared to admit, Edward cautiously opened the door.

Bella was in the cozy rocking chair, cuddling up with a sleeping Molly. She had her cheek resting on the little girl's head in a tender embrace. Her eyes fluttered open at the sound of him entering.

Edward leaned back against the door frame as Bella seemed to hug his daughter closer to her.

"I'm sorry about before," Bella said quietly, not quite meeting his eyes.

Edward was shocked. What was she apologizing for?

"No, I'm sorry; I shouldn't have done it."

Bella looked up at him through her eyelashes, trying to hide the sorrow she felt when gazing at him.

Standing on the other side of the room, he looked lost and so alone.

"Let's blame it on the wine," Bella suggested with something between a smile and a grimace. Kessler's words rang through her head: neither had been drunk.

Edward mirrored her odd expression. "Okay."

Bella kissed the top of Molly's head as she carefully stood up. The little girl was out like a light and did not stir from the movement. Bella crossed the space over Molly's crib and laid her down there, covering half of her body with a soft knit blanket. She ran her hand over the tiny back before turning to face Edward who had watched the whole exchange.

"I think I should be sleeping in the guest room again," she said softly.

With those words, despites Edward's hopes, he knew their relationship had shifted.

"That's probably for the best," he agreed, even though his heart was ferociously disagreeing with his words.

Bella walked across the room and paused next to him in the door frame. "Good night then, I guess."

Edward offered her a tiny smile, "Good night Bella."

For the first time in nearly four months, Edward and Bella lay under the same roof but in different beds. Each of them lay in a darkened room, staring up at the ceiling long after the time they were usually asleep.

Try as they might, each was unable to shake something out of their minds. There were internal battles taking place within both of them.

They were battling with the part of themselves that didn't regret the kiss at all.

* * *

_My head is on fire but my legs are fine_  
_After all they are mine_  
_Lay your clothes down on the floor_  
_Close the door, hold the phone_  
_Show me how no one's ever gonna stop us tonight_

_'Cause we are, we are shining stars_  
_We are invincible, we are who we are_  
_On our darkest day, when we're miles away_  
_Sun will come; we will find our way home_

_If you're lost and alone_  
_Or you're sinking like a stone_  
_Carry on_  
_May your past be the sound_  
_Of your feet upon the ground_  
Fun., Carry On

* * *

**AN:** I think this chapter is why Kessler is leading the poll of favorite character on my profile by over 40%. Always there to be the voice of reason...think he's had experiences like Bella's?

A lot of you predicted there would be freak outs, however, can we acknowledge that the heart of Edward's worry is that he disrespected someone who means so much to him? What a sweetie (:

We have only one chapter left before Part II is over, and then the time jump you've all been waiting for. Before that, however, we'll get to the six months end and see what these two do. Up next, Thanksgiving with the Cullens! What do you think Edward is thankful for?


	30. Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving.

It's the day of the year in the United States to remember what you're thankful and then stuff your face with enough food to get you through the next few days. And then, add some pie in there after that.

It was a time of tradition. Football games were played, turkeys were stressed over and relatives always seemed to drink more than usual.

Sometimes, the true meaning of the day gets lost in it.

Children are taught that the pilgrims, who landed at Plymouth Rock, could not have survived the winter without the help of the Native Americans. They wouldn't have been able to make it through, because they just couldn't go it alone, at least not then.

He was remembering that story now. And the more he reflected on it, the more he drew parallels.

He was the Pilgrims. And she was the Native Americans.

~O~

Pies. She, or rather they, had gotten the task of pies.

Esme was hosting Thanksgiving for her two boys and family, and since Bella and Alice's parents were visiting a great uncle in Montana, Alice and Jasper would be in attendance as well.

Rosalie and Emmett had gotten appetizers assigned to them to bring, Edward and Bella had gotten desserts, and Alice and Jasper had gotten beverages.

Damn Alice and Jasper.

Fortunately, Bella enjoyed baking. So Thanksgiving morning found her and Molly in the kitchen. Edward had gone ahead to his parents to help his father deep fry one of the two turkeys.

Bella was thankful for the breath of fresh air.

The past week had been…tense or awkward or rather just weird.

Since the kiss, neither of them had known how to proceed or even what to think about it. So they'd done the classic, sensible thing and just ignored each other.

However, ignoring someone is hard to do when you live in the same house as them. It's also difficult to do, because neither _wanted_ to ignore the other.

But it was easier than dealing with it.

Some aspects were easier than previously. Bella and Edward no longer shared a bed at night, which meant that their quiet talks before day's end had come to a halt. Each of them had to put a conscious effort into falling asleep without the other by.

Bella felt guilty and disgusted with herself. Initially, she had felt horrible about essentially making out with Edward…and as time went by, she began to grow dismayed because she had liked the kiss. Damn it if it hadn't left her all hot and bothered. And fuck, she wanted to kiss him again.

But she couldn't.

And she needed to get out of the house for good before she did something even more stupid.

So, in avoidance of said man, Bella had made four pies. For eight people. Nine if you included Molly who Bella supposed would eat half of a slice. To be fair though, Emmett would probably eat a whole one by himself and she knew Jasper and Edward both had ridiculously high metabolisms.

Molly got anxious during the baking process, sensing there were more exciting things to be happening at her grandparents. So, while the key lime pie quick baked, Bella got the little girl into a cute outfit from Taylor's parents.

As Molly sat on the diaper table, having just been changed, Bella stroked her hair.

"I'll always love you, honey bunch, with all of my heart," she said quietly, kissing her head.

Molly looked up at her curiously. "Mama?" she wondered with wide eyes.

Bella felt her own eyes water as she gave the toddler a teary smile. "Baby, I'm not your Mama. I'll always be there for you no matter what, but you aren't mine."

Molly looked at her with a sad gaze, seeing the tears in her beloved Bella's eyes. She leaned towards Bella in the way that she gave hugs. Bella scooped her up into her arms and held her close to her chest.

"I love you Molly Belle Cullen," she whispered.

It didn't take Bella too long to navigate the busy holiday streets. She had waited until the pies had cooled and had gotten changed and ready as quickly as she could, never confident in Molly's ability to stay out of trouble without supervision.

Emmett's Escalade and Jasper's truck were already in the driveway when Bella pulled in behind Edward's car. Esme and Carlisle lived in a huge, gorgeous house in one of the nicest neighborhoods in the state. The driveway was long and up a bit of hill, but there was plenty of room for parking.

Bella got Molly unstrapped from her car seat and carried her to the front door. Esme opened the door with a big smile and ushered them in. Bella was assaulted with a fantastic aroma of perfectly cooked food.

In the midst of Esme's exuberant greetings, Emmett popped out of the living room. "Hey girl! Where are these pies you slaved over?"

"In the truck if you're feeling obliged to go and fetch them," Bella laughed.

Emmett cocked an eyebrow at her. "Fetch?" he asked as he slipped on his shoes.

"It went well with the word obliged," she explained with a shrug.

Emmett laughed and gave her a one armed hug before darting outside to get the desserts.

"We should be ready to eat in about an hour," Esme told Bella with a smile. "Everything's almost done. Everyone is the living room watching football."

"Is that my lovely and _only_ granddaughter I hear?" Carlisle called as Esme escorted the girls further inside after having gotten their jackets off.

"Working on it Pa!" Emmett replied with a holler as he entered the house with Bella's pies.

"He is to," Rosalie muttered before leaning in to hug Bella. Bella laughed heartily as Rose rolled her eyes and Emmett stuck his chest out. Carlisle scooped up Molly as her tinkling giggle filled the room.

"And how's that going?" Bella asked under her breath.

Rose smirked. "We're having fun trying."

Bella rolled her eyes. They had gravitated towards the living room and the 60' screen TV which was showing the Detroit vs. Green Bay football game.

A chorus of "Hey Bella!" was heard as Bella moved into the space. Jasper was in an armchair with Alice sitting on the foot rest against his knees, and Rose and Emmett were settling into a loveseat they had clearly claimed. Carlisle and Edward were sharing a couch, with a cushion opened next to Edward.

"Did you have any trouble getting here?" Edward asked in a curious, yet distant voice which he had been using all week.

"Nope," Bella replied. She looked around the room seeing if there was anywhere else she could sit than besides Edward, but came up short. Trying not to show her lack of comfort, Bella sat down next to the man who had become her best friend.

Alice caught Bella's eye. She raised her eyebrow in just a twitch; her gaze told Bella that she had picked up on whatever dynamic between Edward and Bella. Bella gave her a glance that told her "not now."

"So, who do we want to win here?" Alice asked to the room.

"Lions!"

"Packers!"

The only one who was routing for the Packers was Jasper.

"Are you just daring to be different?" Alice asked her fiancé.

"I don't see why all of you haters don't appreciate the gold and green nation," Jasper, the Wisconsin native, whined.

"The Packers are ahead of the Vikings in the division, and a loss would tie the two. The Lions just suck so no one really cares," Bella explained to her sister who liked baseball and basketball, but could not understand football.

"I also have Matt Stafford on my fantasy team!" Emmett chimed in.

Edward laughed loudly, making Bella jump.

"Shut it, Tom Brady," Emmett growled.

Bella grinned.

"Bella, do you and Edward want the tickets for the Vikings game next weekend?"

_Well fuck. This is awkward_, thought Bella.

"Umm," Bella trailed off but was interrupted by Carlisle.

"Esme and I can watch Molly for the day."

"We'll let you know, Dad," Edward said smoothly.

Molly climbed off of her grandpa's lap and onto her dad's. Edward started to bounce her, making her giggle.

"Aren't you moving back to your apartment sometime around then?" Rose wondered curiously.

Bella didn't meet Edward's gaze as she shrugged. "We'll see."

A somewhat awkward silence descended on the room in which everyone was suddenly enthralled with the football game.

"So Bella, I heard you got your girls to a pretty nice finish in the state tennis tourney," Jasper commented.

"Single handedly," Bella grinned. "Haven't I seen you since then?"

The last time she had seen Jasper had been Halloween and the whole proposal, and the tournament had been the week after.

"Nope. Work's been busy. You know how it is; a lot of people doing illegal shit."

The room laughed at his description of half the people's in the house employment.

Less than an hour later, Jasper was exceedingly happy with the results of the game, and they were all sitting down to one huge ass dinner. Molly was in her high chair which was sat between Bella and Edward. (Emmett originally had planned to sit in Bella's spot, but that was quickly shot down by everyone.)

Carlisle took his spot at the end of the table and everyone quieted as he held up his hand slightly.

"Say grace…_the blessing_!" Emmett called, flawlessly quoting _Christmas Vacation_ and sending the room into roars of laughter.

Carlisle waited until everyone, including himself, had calmed down once again before speaking.

"This year has been tough on all of us…and though Taylor is not here with us now, her presence is felt and she is missed. I- I love you two boys and I am very proud of the men you have become and how strong of heart you are. I'm thankful for all of your health."

Esme, who was sitting next to him, raised her glass in Cullen tradition, "I am thankful for my two boys, and the rest of you, who like it or not, are my kids."

Alice, though never having been to a Cullen holiday, caught on quickly. "I am thankful for my Jasper and his good taste in rings."

"I'm thankful for my position at work, and all of the opportunities which have been given to me," said Jasper.

Emmett, on the other end of the table, went next, "I'm thankful for my Rosie, I love you baby."

Rosalie was all smiley at her husband as she spoke, "I'm thankful to have a big family to spend Thanksgiving with."

Bella raised her glass, "I am thankful for all the years I had with Taylor, and all that she taught me about life."

Edward cleared his throat as all the eyes went to him. Even Molly was watching him curiously. "I'm thankful for my daughter, who has brought nothing but joy to my life," he caught Bella's gaze, "And I'm thankful for Bella who has been the best thing to happen to me this year."

~O~

Molly was completely asleep by the time the evening came to a close. Edward offered to take her in his car, and so Bella followed behind them in her truck.

Driving probably wasn't the best thing for Bella at that point. Driving meant time to yourself…time to think.

And thinking was the last thing she wanted to do. But damn if she didn't have 25 minutes of uninterrupted silence to process what the hell had just happened.

Edward's face when he said he was thankful for her and all the sincerity that rang through his words made Bella's stomach churn.

Because, distance, she could handle. She could deal with the art of skilled ignoring they had been doing. She could even bear the guilt she had for kissing him.

But she couldn't handle his words.

It was too hard.

She couldn't stay any longer. As much as she loved Molly and cared for Edward with everything she had, she couldn't do it to herself.

The more she stayed with Edward, the closer she came to falling in love with him.

And she couldn't fall in love with Edward, the husband of her dead best friend, because it would never work, and she couldn't put him in that position.

In the back of her mind, she realized maybe she wasn't quite as prepared for leaving as she would have liked to believe, but she knew it was the right thing. Not seeing Molly everyday would break her heart, and it would hard to adjust back to life without Edward in it. It'd be weird going home to an empty apartment.

But she couldn't stay.

Edward beat Bella home by a few minutes. By the time she got inside the house, Edward was already with Molly in her nursery, trying to get her into pajamas without waking her up. He nodded at Bella as she passed through in the hallway, a slight grin on his face.

Once out of eyesight from Edward and in the guest bedroom with a closed door, Bella closed her eyes and let out a big breath. Fuck this was going to be hard.

Bella went over to the closet, the only part of the room that she had really used. There were boxes still piled on the ground from when she had moved her stuff in. She grabbed a few of the boxes and sat down in front of the dresser which contained a lot of clothes.

As she started to fold all of the items, a part of her grew irrationally annoyed with Taylor. If she hadn't had the foresight to create a living will, none of them would be in this damn mess. Hell, she would probably be happily dating Landon at this point.

That thought halted when she started to think about where Molly and Edward would be at this point. She hadn't been there for six months for nothing; she knew she had helped. And she didn't regret a second of it.

And she probably wouldn't have been happily dating Landon. She may have been trying still, not ready to admit that she was a different person and someone who couldn't love Landon, but she wouldn't have been happy.

But…she had to go. She had to move on and keeping going with her life.

Kessler's words from months ago rang through her mind: "take a breath, and just go."

That's what she had to do now. Because she had to look out for herself sometimes.

In less than an hour, she had two boxes packed with her stuff. That was enough, she would have to get the rest eventually, but she couldn't be under that roof for another night.

She picked up the first box and stood, her knees stiff. With the heavy box being carried with one arm against her hip, she opened up the bedroom door and began to make her way down the stairs.

Bella heard noise in the kitchen where she presumed Edward was. She didn't glance that way as she slipped out the front door into the frigid temperature in order to get to her truck. She got the box in the back seat of the cab and shut the car door, huddling into herself against the wind.

When she turned back towards the house, she saw Edward standing in the door, illuminated by the light.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked, loud enough to be heard over the wind. He took several steps away from the threshold to get closer to her.

"I have to go, Edward," she told him as he crossed the distance between them.

"Go?" he asked, wildly confused, "Where?"

Bella let out a sad laugh, "I don't know… back to my apartment, back to my old life?"

Edward looked like the wind had stolen his breath away.

"What?" he asked with hurt in his voice.

"I'm only supposed to be here for six months, remember?" she replied, shivering.

"Yeah, but…isn't that another week away, at least?" he asked, running his hand through his hair.

Bella gazed at him sadly. "A week won't make a difference. I have to leave, Edward."

"But why?! Why now?"

Edward couldn't understand. He didn't know what was making her leave so suddenly, the night of Thanksgiving with no warning whatsoever. And he was hurt by her sudden need to leave and a sense of panic seemed to make its way through his body.

"Edward, this isn't my family. This is yours. I've just been filling in for Taylor until you were able to learn how to single parent," she told him, having to speak loudly over the harsh winds which were chilling them both rapidly.

"No!" he protested fiercely, "We are a family! You, me and Molly have become a family. And you've never taken Taylor's place, not to me."

"But to me it feels like I've replaced my best friend! I loved Taylor so much, but I can't live in her shadow, and I don't want to."

Edward looked shocked. "Have I ever treated you as if you were Taylor?"

"The role I've played in this house has been the exact same as hers," she cried.

"Fuck roles!" he exclaimed. "You and Taylor are completely different people and I've never thought otherwise! You've been a friend for me when no one else understood and you've been everything to Molly."

"But that's the point! The kid calls me 'Mama' damn it! That's Taylor's job, not mine," she argued, feeling closer and closer to the point of tears.

Edward shook his head fiercely. "She's not even 18 months old, Bella! She calls you that because it's exactly the thing you promised Taylor you would be for her when she was born if it ever came to that! To her, you are a mom because you love her like one, and it's as simple as that."

Bella opened her mouth to reply, but Edward shook his head once more.

"And it's not Taylor's job anymore, Bella. Taylor isn't coming back to any of us, and that means we have to move on, as much as it sucks."

"Exactly, I have to move on! And it does suck. But I can't stay here any longer and feel like I'm in Taylor's place. And after last Friday night, and this whole shitty week and then today and I just, I can't do it anymore!"

The fire seemed to die from his eyes. "What do you mean 'after last Friday night?'"

Bella closed her eyes and said a quick wish of forgiveness from Taylor for what she had to say.

"Because I liked that kiss, Edward! I liked it a whole fucking lot. And I can't stand myself for that," she exclaimed, hugging herself even closer.

Edward again seemed at a loss for words.

"I know we blamed it on the wine or whatever, but some part of me had wanted to kiss you and all of me had enjoyed it. I just can't even describe how awful that makes me, and I just…you can see why I have to leave now!"

Bella started to turn and walked past him to get back to the house, but Edward reached out and grabbed her arm, his hand astonishingly warm against her cold skin.

"Don't," he said quietly.

"Give me one reason," she replied challengingly, humiliated at the endless word vomit.

"Because I liked that kiss too."

Bella almost imagined that she had heard it. But looking at his eyes which were sincere and scared and compassionate all in one gaze, she knew she hadn't imagined it.

"Edward, don't," she pleaded, knowing she couldn't take it.

"No, Bella, I enjoyed that kiss a helluva a lot more than you think. In fact, I'm pretty sure I was the one who had started it anyway, and I didn't know why at the time, but I do now."

Bella looked at him with wide eyes as he took a deep breath.

"Bella, you're so smart, and beautiful, and incredibly funny in a usually sarcastic yet cute way, you're brave and compassionate, and you're the strongest person I've ever known. And I don't see the things in you that I saw in Taylor; I see different, amazing things about you that just leave me feeling awed all the time by you, and that's why I kissed you. Because damn it if I'm not attracted to you.

"And you know what? That scares the absolute shit out of me. Everything in me is screaming that it's too early and too soon after Taylor died to be feeling about a woman the way I do for you. But I do. I love being near you Bella, and you've made my life so much better than I could have ever imagined."

Tears slipped out of Bella's eyes as Edward passionately spoke.

"And I know it scares you too Bella. I don't know what I want, and I don't know if you know what you want, but I do know one thing; I don't want you to leave. I don't want to go it without you, even if it just means that you're here a few months longer.

"I can't let you go, Bella."

Bella hastily wiped at her tears before throwing her arms around his torso as he pulled her closed against him, protecting her from the winter elements.

"You're so cold," he whispered before kissing the top of her head.

"Yes," she mumbled against his chest.

"What?" he asked, hugging her tighter.

He didn't know much. He didn't know if it was love or not, or if they would ever work out, but he knew if he let Bella get away, he would regret it forever.

"Yes, I'll stay."

**~O~**

**End of Part II**

* * *

_I let you see the parts of me_  
_That weren't all that pretty_  
_And with every touch you fixed them_  
_Now you've been talking in your sleep oh oh_  
_Things you never say to me oh oh_  
_Tell me that you've had enough of our love_

_I'm sorry I don't understand_  
_Where all of this is coming from_  
_I thought that we were fine_  
_You've been havin' real bad dreams oh oh_  
_You used to lie so close to me oh oh_  
_There's nothing more than empty sheets_  
_Between our love, our love_

_Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough_  
_Just a second we're not broken just bent_  
_And we can learn to love again_  
_It's in the stars_  
_It's been written in the scars on our hearts_  
_We're not broken just bent_  
_And we can learn to love again_  
Just Give Me A Reason, P!nk feat. Nate Ruess

* * *

**AN: **Edward's impassioned pleas is one of my favorite things I've ever written. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter. Especially your favorite line.

If you are searching for a way to sum up Part II, look no further than the lines above. "We're not broken, just bent."

I hope to see you all with me for Part III!


	31. A Year

**~O~**

**Part III**

* * *

A Year.

Five hundred, twenty six thousand minutes.

The song, _Seasons of Love_, rang through her mind. She had been forced to sing it in choir in high school, and while she had started out liking it, the repetitiveness of it grated on her nerves.

_How do you measure a year? In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee?_

The song was stuck in her head, and the question it presented resonated with her? How do you measure a year? Love, as the song suggested, seemed hard to measure.

You could measure a year in laughter and smiles, or tears and heartbreak, or quiet nights at home where you realize how lucky you are. Perhaps the time should just be measured in feelings of joy, sorrow, confusion, stress or happiness.

She had certainly had experienced all of the emotions in a way that defined the past year for her.

~O~

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOLLY! was written on a banner, a cake and dozens of cards.

The Cullen-Swan household was abuzz as guests crowded the area, cooing over the sweet little girl who was turning two. There had not been a party last year, leaving more than one of the guests feeling slighted at the opportunity to spoil Molly Belle Cullen, the girl with the big blue eyes.

The guest of honor was sitting on Alice's lap fiddling with the latter's engagement ring, fascinated by its shine while Alice grinned and bounced her.

"Don't let her have it, Al! She'll put it straight in her mouth," Bella called over the chatter of the guests.

Alice grinned up at Bella and winked before going back to intently listening to the little girl's words.

Molly had grown like crazy in just the past six months alone. She no longer looked much like a baby, and had turned into quite an intelligent toddler. She had got taller and gained more weight, as well as her motor skills improving along with her verbal skills.

In short, she was talking up a storm and running around, keeping both Edward and Bella on their toes.

Bella pulled the small cake out of the cupboard where she had placed it that morning. She had made a little one for Molly, and a larger one for the rest of the guests. As she set it on the counter, a finger came out of nowhere and attempted to snipe some frosting.

"Quit it!" Bella admonished, swatting away Edward's hand.

He grinned unapologetically. "You know I have a weakness for your baking."

Bella raised an eyebrow. "You're going to steal frosting from your daughter's cake, on this the day of celebration of her birth? Low, Cullen."

Edward laughed.

"We should probably give the people their cake soon, as I'm sure Rose will probably eat us otherwise," he grinned pointedly at Rosalie who was working on a plate of cheese and crackers…her third plate.

Rosalie narrowed her eyes at his comment. "Screw you, Edward. You try being pregnant with Emmett's child, knowing the way he eats."

Emmett and Rosalie had announced last month, on Mother's Day, that they were expecting their first child. Rose had just passed the first trimester a few days ago and while she wasn't showing, her appetite certainly was.

"Hey babe," Emmett said, coming into the kitchen and wrapping an arm around her waist. He glanced at the plate in her hands and raised an eyebrow, "Third one, babe?"

Edward started laughing while Bella tried to fight it but couldn't prevent the amused smirk on her face as Rosalie glared at her husband.

"You know, I was totally fine with having a kid in a few years, but no, you had to knock me up. This is your fault."

"What can I say, Rosie? My little swimmers are strong!" he grinned.

"Emmett!" Bella explained, grossed out by his manly show of pride.

"Your little swimmers aren't going to have anywhere to swim if you comment on the number of pieces of cake I'm planning on having," Rose threatened.

Emmett's face fell.

"I'm going to go and get the kid," Edward said, leaving his brother on his own with that one. "You ready with the candles?" he asked Bella, who nodded, still smirking at the exchange.

"Hey baby girl!" Edward exclaimed, crouching down in front of her and Alice. "You ready for some cake?"

Molly had been so excited about having her own cake. She had been asking about it every day for the past week and was beside herself in joy.

"Ya!" Molly exclaimed, launching herself out of Alice's lap and into her daddy's arms.

Edward smiled at how adorable his daughter was as he stood up. He turned to the guests who were milling out about and announced, "Molly's going to be blowing out her candles now!" Molly giggled as he tickled her belly.

Family and friends stood up and congregated to the kitchen where Edward sat at the end of the table, Molly on his lap. People quieted as Bella lit the two candles on the cake and then lifted it up.

People began to sing 'Happy Birthday' as Bella walked through them to the table. Molly beamed as her eyes locked onto the dessert. Bella and Edward both shared a wide smile as Bella set down the cake on the table.

"Blow out the candles, baby," Edward said in a voice which Bella could only describe as his 'Daddy Voice.'

Bella crouched down next to them and encouraged her to blow out the flames. After watching Bella mimic the action, Molly quickly puffed out her cheeks and blew at the candles, a delighted squeal coming from her lips when the flames went out.

Everyone cheered in celebration of the accomplishment. Bella was about to stand up and go and get a plate and cut the small cake in half perhaps, when Molly shoved both of her hands into the frosting.

"Hey pumpkin, do you want a plate?" Bella asked with a giggle.

Molly looked at her with wide eyes, and then shook her head. "No!"

"Well then have at it, kid," Edward laughed. They watched as Molly resorted to eating in way that she hadn't in quite a few months since having started with utensils.

Alice snapped away pictures of Bella and Edward laughing while Molly coated her face with orange and pink frosting and cake.

Eventually Bella realized that people were enjoying watching Molly's joy, but probably wanted a piece of the other cake that she had made. She moved to stand up and go start dishing it out, but when she looked over, Esme was one step ahead of her. She winked at Bella as she started to put pieces of orange paper plates.

"You know, since it's a Sunday, you're the one who has to give her a bath," Bella reminded him with a smirk. They had long since worked out schedules for everything, but with diapers it was always whoever said "Not it!" the fastest.

They were living a fun life in that respect.

"Hey Jazz," Alice nudged, "That's how you eat!"

The blonde rolled his eyes as several people chuckled.

"Just you wait, darling; come October 4th, you'll find yourself with a face full of cake," he smiled.

Alice and Jasper had decided on a fall wedding which was quickly was approaching within four months now. Alice had organized and planned well and efficiently with the help of Jasper and Bella and it was sure to be a beautiful day.

Bella stood up and went to get cake for Edward and her. She bumped into Kessler and his wife by the counter and grinned.

"Did you make this, Swan?" he asked suspiciously, peering at the cake with caution. Bella and his wife rolled their eyes.

"Yes, might want to watch out though, I may have gotten some rat poisoning in there."

"I wouldn't doubt it," he teased.

"Thanks for coming, by the way," she smiled at them after picking up two orange paper plates.

Kessler grinned. "Our pleasure, kid. Wait until you see what we got the little one."

"If it's any type of reptile, I'm never speaking to you again," she threatened, seriously.

Kessler rolled his eyes. "You ruin all the fun."

Bella laughed before going back to Edward and sitting in the chair next to him and Molly, where all three of them went to town on their cake.

Throughout the spring, Bella had seen a decent amount of Kessler. She had agreed to help out Kessler with the boy's high school tennis team which played opposite of the girls team. Working with teenage boys was…an interesting experience. Even though they knew Bella had played at a national level, they had been cocky, thinking they were better than her at first.

That changed within two days. Bella managed to beat them all with the other assistant coach who had played Division 2. After that arrogance had faded and they had all been put in their places, they had just found her really hot. Which was equally as interesting. Overall, they were a great group of guys and she had had tons of fun. She'd even brought Molly to one of the practices where she was doted above enough to rival the girls' team.

"Compliments to the chef!" Emmett called across the chattering room, winking at Bella as there were nods and chuckles of agreement.

"This is freaking amazing," Edward moaned as he took a generous sized bite.

Bella grinned.

"'Nazing!" Molly agreed excitedly. Bella kissed the top of her head, careful to avoid the frosting.

"Well I think you're 'nazing too, Molly!"

~O~

If you want a spun up two year old: a lot of cake, a first taste of soda and dozens of guests doting on her with gifts is the way to do it.

There was a betting pool of when she would crash. Edward had 4:30, while Bella was thinking she would hold off till 5 pm. Emmett had already lost at 3:30, though hardly surprised by his goddaughter's exuberance.

Molly was bouncing off the walls as she excitedly tore away at all of the wrapped presents which had been brought for her. She had originally planted herself on Edward's lap to open the gifts while Bella sat next to them on the floor and recorded who gave what, but the little girl was quickly on her feet, squealing and running to give hugs after each gift.

Edward couldn't keep the smile of his face as he watched his baby girl, the definition of innocence and joy. It was a bittersweet sense in which Molly's mother wasn't with them, and while Edward acknowledged Taylor's absence, he chose to focus on the smiles and giggles of the day.

Once Molly had opened everything, Edward discreetly slipped out of the crowded living room.

"Where's Daddy?" Molly asked in her high baby voice which Bella adored.

"He's outside with your present, sweetie. Should we go see what it is?" Bella asked, smiling as she ran her hand through the girl's hair.

Molly nodded vigorously.

"You're welcome to come outside and see how Edward and I have doomed ourselves for the love of the kid!" Bella announced, standing up and picking up Molly.

A few people who knew what they had gotten Molly smirked, while everyone else rose from their seats curiously.

Bella slipped out the back door, Molly settled on her hips. It was a beautiful, early summer day. It had rained earlier than morning, making things too wet to host a part outside. However, the sun was out and shining, having dried all the wetness.

Molly looked around eagerly, trying to set her sights on her dad. Bella knew Edward was in the garage and would come of the door after being called.

"We're ready, Edward!"

Edward came out of the garage, but no one was really looking at him. In his arms was a tiny fur ball of a puppy. Molly watched in confusion as Edward set the dog down in the grass which was half the height of him. When she saw the puppy move, she let out a squeal that may have rendered Bella deft.

Bella quickly set Molly on the ground and watched as she took off running towards the tiny German shepherd.

"Doggie!" she cried in absolute joy. The puppy saw her approaching and started to wag its little tail.

Edward crouched down by them, wrapping his arm around Molly and picking the dog up for her to pet. "He's your puppy, baby girl. Happy birthday!"

Molly's eyes widened comically wide and her mouth fell open to a big O. "Tank you, Daddy! I wuv you!"

Edward kissed the top of her head with a smile. "I love you too, baby."

"Mama! I got a uppy!" Molly squealed at Bella who had approached the loving scene.

Bella laughed, "I see that, sweetie. Happy birthday!"

"Can you give Bella a hug, too?" Edward asked with a smile.

Edward lifted his arm as Molly broke away from his embrace and raced the short distance to Bella. She threw her arms around her legs until Bella picked her up and hugged her tightly.

"What are you going to name the little guy?" Bella asked, sitting on the grass by Edward and the puppy who was trying to eat the grass.

Molly looked up at Bella with furrowed brows, making both adults grin.

"Well you have a name, don't you?" Bella reasoned.

The toddler nodded. "Mowy Cuwen!" she agreed, mangling her "l's" as she always seemed to.

"So what should the puppy's name be?"

Molly slowly petted the pup, pondering the question intently.

Suddenly, her face lit up. "Simba!"

Bella burst out laughing while Edward rolled his eyes, trying to hide his smirk.

The _Lion King_ had remained a steady favorite over the past year in the household. Molly watched it at least once a week. She liked _Finding Nemo_ too, but not quite to the same caliber.

"Simba's a lion, princess," Edward pointed out.

Molly gave him the same furrowed look. She looked over at Bella, unsure why her dad was protesting the name. Bella laughed even harder at the annoyed look.

"So, Daddy?"

"This isn't a lion," he argued, fighting to keep a straight face and failing utterly.

"I know, it's a uppy! My uppy!"

Edward grinned. "Actually, it's a puppy, with p."

"A uppy!" Molly agreed, clearly not getting her father's point at all.

"Well, I think Simba is a great name, Molly!" Bella said, having gotten her giggles somewhat under control.

"Simba!" she cried, throwing her arms around the puppy in one of the most adorable embraces either had witnessed.

"Okay, I've held out as long as I could. I need to get a picture of this."

Esme strode across the yard, camera in hand. She waited while Bella and Edward, who knew the drill, organized themselves into a pose.

The Cullen matriarch snapped a few pictures of the small, odd, yet completely happy family. Edward had Molly in his lap, his one arm hugging her, and the other hugging Bella to his side. Simba was in Bella's lap, barking excitedly. Esme even caught one picture of Edward and Bella smiling happily at each other when they thought she had finished.

"Who picked the type of dog?" Jasper wondered later as the party wound down. Most guests had left expect for family.

Bella rolled her eyes at the question and looked accusingly over at Edward.

She and he had argued for weeks about what type of dog to get Molly. Bella had wanted something small, and would stay small, like a Pomeranian or a Yorkie. Edward had had other thoughts.

"Why do I get the accused look?" Edward asked, holding a wounded hand to his heart.

Bella raised an eyebrow. "Because Mr. 'I want a man's man dog!' you were the one who refused to compromise."

Edward defended himself to the various chuckles. "I'm the one who's going to have to take it out in the morning. I would rather keep my dignity and be out with a normal sized dog, and not some glorified rat."

"I did suggest a cat so we wouldn't to take it out in the mornings," she reminded him as they continued to wipe down the tables and counters.

"I'm allergic to cats!" he protested.

"Oh, dear, we all know that's a lie," Esme said, strolling into the room with Molly on her hip. She had handed the droopy looking girl over to Bella as she smirked at her son.

"Do tell," Bella said, giving Edward a narrow eyed stare.

"Edward really just doesn't like cats. He took a page from his father's book who has claimed to be allergic for the past 30 years, when really, the man just doesn't like fur."

Bella glared at Edward.

Edward smiled and wrapped his arm around Bella, trying to get away from the subject.

"You know, Little One looks pretty tired," he pointed out, looking down at his kid who had finally crashed from her sugar high.

Alice, who was doing the dishes with her dad, snorted. "Oh shut up Edward, your 4:30 slot already passed."

"I'm really just not winning today, am I?"

Bella grinned up at him and was about to say something when Molly let out a big yawn.

"You know, you stay down with these guys. I'll give her the bath tonight, as I don't think she'll be able to keep her eyes open much longer," Bella said, looking down at the toddler.

Edward smiled in thanks.

"I'll be up in a little bit to say goodnight."

Bella nodded.

Edward leaned down at kissed Molly's rosy red cheek. "I love you, sweetheart."

Bella felt Edward's soft lips kiss her cheek next. "Thank you for today, Bella," he whispered to her before pulling his lips away from her.

She smiled at him before turning towards the stairs, snuggling closer to Molly.

Edward glanced around to see if they had attracted any attention with the quick display. Alice and Bella's dad was helping his eldest daughter do the dishes while her mom and Esme looked at pictures on a digital camera and Jasper, Emmett and Rose were in the other room with Carlisle.

He wasn't ashamed of the display of affection. However, he wasn't quite ready for the repercussions it would have if everyone in his life knew his feelings for Bella were more than purely platonic.

Over the past six months since the kiss and the subsequent falling out that had happened after, Edward had had a lot of time to consider his life. It had been a struggle to work through several emotions and ideas, but he was coming along.

He knew he liked Bella, and had really fucking liked that kiss they had shared. It had aroused him with shocking intensity. And he still thought about it. But he hadn't been ready for more than that, and nor had she.

But as the months had gone by, he and Bella had only grown closer. Nothing had happened anywhere near the level of the kiss they had shared. They did share more intimate touches though, such as gentle hugs and soft kisses on places excluding the mouth.

With each passing day, he felt himself liking the beautiful brunette he lived with, more and more.

Unbeknownst to him, Bella sat upstairs near the tub with Molly, softly talking to the two year old.

"I know being a one year old was pretty rough for you sweetie, but being two will be a much happier time."

Bella smiled as she rinsed the cake out of the hair of the tiny girl who had become her world.

"Actually, I think this next year will be happy for all of us, including your Daddy and me."

* * *

_Hold on, to me as we go  
As we roll down this unfamiliar road  
And although this wave is stringing us along  
Just know you're not alone  
Cause I'm gonna make this place your home_

_Settle down, it'll all be clear_  
_Don't pay no mind to the demons_  
_They fill you with fear_  
_The trouble it might drag you down_  
_If you get lost, you can always be found_

_Just know you're not alone_  
_Cause I'm gonna make this place your home  
_Home by Phillip Phillips

* * *

**AN:** So, Part III starts us off six months after we left the unlikely (or really likely?) couple!

Nothing has happened with Edward and Bella as far as more kisses/anything smutty for a couple reasons. 1. Taylor hasn't been dead for a year yet, and while they have feelings for each other, they're really trying to reach that milestone, at least subconsciously. 2. That would be big event. 3. Time jumps and big events don't work well for me, 'cause it's awkward to recap things.

However, things are starting to get rolling really quickly with the duo! It's so close I'm sure I'm literally driving you all insane. But alas, patience is virtue (;

Would love to know your thoughts on Part III! Have a happy Easter to those who celebrate(:


	32. Anniversaries

Anniversaries.

Usually, anniversaries are associated with weddings and marriage. It's sort of like a birthday in the sense that you remember the past year, and the day of a special event, such as a wedding. Typically, anniversaries are more on the upbeat side.

All in one month, he had celebrated, or rather acknowledged, three very important anniversaries. His anniversary to his late wife had passed, the anniversary of his daughter's birth and then finally, the anniversary of his wife's death.

Anniversaries are proof time has gone by. They're sort of a grounding factor in some ways.

They remind you of things you could never forget, but they also remind you the past will never leave you, but it's important to look to the future.

~O~

It had been one year since Taylor's death.

Edward felt so many things just by thinking that sentence alone. He felt awe at how the time had seemed to move, sadness that it had been a year without a wife whom he had loved, and he also felt a sense of confusion about what the next year would hold for him.

Most of his coworkers had left him alone for the day, either remembering or having been told what day it was. Lily was less snarky than usual, but he was thankful for this respect.

In truth, he wasn't even sure why he had come into work today at all. A dull sense of duty had been what had woken him up he supposed.

Bella and he had debated whether or not to even go to work the previous night over ice cream. They had just sat at the counter with the pint of moose tracks ice cream in front of them, a spoon in each of their hands. Bella had a weakness for ice cream, and it was always in the house, making Edward define his sweet tooth.

In the end, they had decided they should go to work for half days, just to help the time pass.

Bella still managed to amaze him every day with her strength, wisdom and compassion. When he had first met her, he had liked her wit and friendliness. Over the past year he had learned she was so much more than that, and truly an incredible person.

She had even supported him in the case he made against Volt Trucking Company. Initially she had had no problems being vocal about her disagreement with what he, his father, and brother were doing. She didn't believe that Taylor would have wanted them to go after the trucking company of the driver who had hit her.

But, any guilt Edward had for going after the company in a court of law quickly diminished when they discovered all of the labor laws the company had broken. They had violated an hours of service law hundreds of times, most of the time without justifiable reasons. It was a crime of negligence to allow drivers to have hours overextending mandatory shift maximums. And when Stephanie Nain, the employee who had been wrongfully terminated for threatening to report these breeches, came forward, their case had been sealed.

In March, the three men of the Cullen family had sat at a table in a court room, suing Volt Trucking on dozens of counts of fraud and negligence, as well as a case of wrongful termination.

Even Bella had to admit it had been magnificent.

Edward had commanded the court room in a way only a talented veteran could. He had made his points sharp and intelligent, shutting down arguments effortlessly. Carlisle had been equally awesome to watch, as it was clear his son had learned what he knew from him. Emmett had sat for the most part quietly, a steely fire in his gaze as he wrote on a legal pad, occasionally whispering to his brother.

They had won the case flawlessly. Volt Trucking owed millions of dollars in damages, fines and settlements. It was enough to cause a serious blow to their financials, leaving them weak and vulnerable.

Edward hadn't been able to stop his grin, when a mouth after they had left court, Volt went bankrupt and were bought out for one of the cheapest prices ever seen, by a large commercial company.

After that, he had felt a sense of closure that he hadn't known he needed.

Emmett had made junior partner after that case because of his irreplaceable contribution. Edward had noticed that ten weeks after that day, Rose and he had announced they were expecting, the due date almost exactly nine months after Emmett's promotion date. While Edward hadn't said anything, he smirked every time he walked by Emmett's new office.

Edward's musings were interrupted by the beep of the intercom which was connected to Lily's desk.

"Your father's wondering if he can come in," she said over the speaker.

Edward glanced across the office and the glass wall to see Carlisle standing by Lily's desk. Edward appreciated his dad asking to come in, as usually he could just walk in.

"Of course," Edward replied to the intercom.

"Hey, Son," Carlisle said quietly as he entered the room.

"Hey, Dad," Edward sighed, seeing the sympathy on his father's face.

"How are you holding up today?"

"I don't know," Edward replied honestly. "I mean, it's just another day without her, but at the same time, it's a day where you are almost forced against your will to think about it."

Carlisle nodded, sitting on the edge of Edward's desk.

"I know. What are you feeling the most?" he asked gently.

Edward just shook his head. "I don't know…I feel an anger that I can't pinpoint on one thing. I'm angry at so many things. I almost resent the date, you know? Why do we have to remember the day someone died instead of a birthday? I've been dealing with it for the past year…and I don't know. I just don't like being forced to remember her death."

Carlisle sighed as he watched his son run his hand through his hair.

"I've always thought that myself. But I think instead of remembering Taylor's death, you remember the good things about her life. Treat it as day or remembrance and honor."

"Why can't that be her birthday?" he wondered. "It was much easier to remember her and not the circumstances on a day that was supposed to be happy."

"Have you talked to Bella about this at all?" Carlisle asked.

Edward shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. She just handles everything so much better than I do, always."

Carlisle raised an eyebrow.

"Really?"

Edward nodded. "Bella's always been the strong one in our house, especially when I was a mess. I mean I guess she's had bad days every now and then…but she's usually a rock."

"Have you ever considered that maybe it's a front sometimes?" Carlisle asked carefully.

Edward looked at him in confusion. "What?"

"It's incredibly brave of her to have cared for you the way she has, especially considering how much Taylor's lost affected her."

"I know," he agreed.

Carlisle frowned, a slight indent between his brows. "What I mean to say is if anything, God forbid, happened to Emmett, imagine the state of mind you would be in. And now imagine you had to care for Rosalie. Whose pain would you put first, yours or hers?"

"Rose's," Edward answered automatically.

"But you would still be hurting deeply. When Taylor died, Bella lost a sister."

Edward started to see his father's point.

"So in your scenario, I'm Bella?" he asked.

Carlisle nodded. "I think that you don't need the closure a day such as today brings. You have dealt magnificently with her death, and don't need a set date of remembrance. But you know who I would guess does?"

Slowly, Edward nodded. "Bella."

"Don't be angry, Son. Take care of that girl who has done so much for you."

Edward nodded again, musing over his father's advice. Thinking back, Bella had seemed a little more anxious and moody over the past few days. Edward had been approaching the day with wariness, while Bella had seemed upset with it.

"You're right. I suppose I've always just thought that she's had it under control and didn't need me."

"Bella's very independent." Both men showed knowing grins, "But with that, I don't think she's very good at asking for help. Just, look out for her. And give me a hug, because your mother insists."

Edward smiled and stood up from his chair, going to meet his father in a heartfelt embrace.

"Thanks Dad," he mumbled sincerely.

The men broke away from each other, and the elder put his hand on Edward's shoulder.

"I am really proud of you, Edward. You were dealt a shitty situation, but you're a better man for it, and have never faltered in being an amazing dad. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for, and I couldn't ask for a better son."

Edward hugged his dad again, moved by his words. He blinked a few times, trying to avoid any tears. Little did he know his father was doing the very same thing.

When they broke apart once more, they shared a small grin.

The moment of relative silence was broken by several voices filling the room as the door to the office was open. Edward turned over to see Lily holding the door open for Bella and Molly, chatting amicably with the former.

"I figure these guys fit under the 'always allowed' in the office category," Lily explained with a grin.

Molly saw her father and took off running. "Daddy!" she squealed, throwing her arms around his legs.

"Hi there, baby girl," he laughed, picking her off of the ground.

"Hi Daddy," she replied, putting her little hands on each side of his face as she so often did.

Carlisle wrapped an arm around Bella's shoulders, and said, "Hello, dear."

"Hey, Mr. C," she smiled brightly.

"I hate to go, but I have a lunch meeting with Watson," Carlisle sighed.

Edward raised his eyebrows in a sympathetic grimace. "Have fun with that."

Carlisle gave his son an amused look. "Behave," he warned. "And there will be no fun had with the exception of the meeting's conclusion."

"Bye, Dad," Edward grinned.

"See you tomorrow," he smiled before giving Edward a somewhat pointed look. Edward gave a minute nod in response.

"Should we head out?" Bella asked with a more somber expression on her face.

The curves of Edward's lips fell as he nodded.

A half hour later, Edward was pulling Bella's truck into the cemetery parking lot. Bella had drove earlier, dropping Edward off at work and bringing Molly with her to Gray Books for the morning.

Molly was uncharacteristically quiet as he turned the engine off. She hadn't really made much noise the entire ride out of the city.

"Well…" Edward started, glancing over at Bella. Bella continued to chew on her bottom lip, staring out in front of her.

"Well," she agreed.

Giving her time, Edward slowly got the car and went to unbuckle Molly from her car seat behind the passenger seat. When Molly was secured in his arms against his side, he carefully opened Bella's door.

Bella had only been to Taylor's grave twice. Once was at the funeral when there hadn't even been a stone there, and the second time on Taylor's birthday. They had brought balloons mostly for Molly's sake and had a picnic next to the stone.

Edward had been to the site dozens of times in his quest for healing. To him, coming here was nothing but a routine. He was able to gaze at the granite stone and think, instead of just looking at it and crying.

Bella sat in the passenger seat, the inner struggle she was having was clearly visible on her face.

Edward held his free hand out to her.

Bella slowly looked at it, her eyes wide.

"Are you ready for this?" he asked softly.

Bella gave a slow nod.

"Come on then, beautiful."

Hearing his soft words of encouragement was enough for Bella to reach out and place her hand into his.

Once she was out of the truck, Bella shut the truck door with one hand, keeping her other one firmly laced with Edward's.

Edward gave Bella's soft, small hand a squeeze as they began to walk in the direction of Taylor's plot. Molly continued to stay silent, observing not only Bella but the land around her.

It took them only a couple minutes to reach Taylor's final resting place. Edward noticed Bella's grip had tightened as they approached it; he doubted she even realized.

Molly had been to the cemetery a few more times than Bella, as Edward sometimes brought her with. And Molly had proved how incredibly intelligent of a child she was at those times.

Edward set Molly onto the ground near the stone and glanced over at Bella. Bella's eyebrows furrowed as they watched Molly toddle over to the granite and place her hands against it.

"Mommy," she said quietly, her finger tracing over the granite.

Molly never called Bella "mommy."

Instead, Molly called Bella "mama." The child never switched the two up.

Taylor was always mommy and Bella mama. It spoke wonders of her understanding of the world.

"Simba 'eed on the car'et, Mommy," Molly said, mangling her p's while nodding seriously at the stone. The new puppy was still being house trained and had had an accident the previous day.

Edward saw Bella shake her head at how incredibly smart the child was. "That's amazing," she whispered.

"I told her she can talk to her mom, and she'll always listen," Edward whispered back.

"Daddy was mad!" Molly giggled, recounting the story. Edward smiled softly as Molly continued to run her little finger across the stone.

"I wuv Simba," she added with a definite nod.

Edward and Bella watched silently as Bella told Taylor all of her odd toddler stories that had no real purpose and hardly made sense. His kid must have talked for nearly 20 minutes before she finally dropped her hands away from the stone.

"I wuv you, Mommy. Jus' like Simba!"

Molly turned away from the grave and ran over back to where they were standing a few yards away. Edward scooped her up, kissing her cheek a few times with a smile.

"Mama, you talk?" she asked, looking at Bella curiously.

Bella's eyes widened a little as she glanced over at the headstone. When her gaze reverted and met Edward's he gave her a small encouraging nod, accompanied by another hand squeeze.

"Yeah, sweetie pie, I'll talk."

Edward leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on Bella's temple. "We'll be right over there," he whispered, nodding in the opposite direction.

Bella nodded and they broke away from one another. Bella slowly stepped towards the grave, while Edward walked the other way, going over to a tree a little ways away.

Following the two year old's example, Bella sat down next to Taylor's stone. She read Taylor's name, date of birth and date of death, along with the scripture that was on the bottom.

"Hey, Tay. Isn't that kid just the greatest?" Bella smiled, glancing over her shoulder to where Edward was swinging Molly around. When she turned back, she sighed. "I feel like there's been a proverbial cloud over our relationship the past six months. Well…over me, anyways."

"I kissed him. Right before Christmas last year. And I'm not talking about a kiss like your and Austin's first little awkward thing in 10th grade…I'm talking like one big effing kiss. I'm so scared of what you'd think about that," she admitted, revealing the crux of her thoughts over the past few months.

"Taylor, he's amazing. I know you know that, because you married him…but he's a different kind of amazing than what you knew. I wouldn't say he's a different person, but after your death, he changed so much. He's gotten so much stronger; I think the man could handle anything. Hell, today he had to get me out of the car! How backwards is that?

"I think your death changed me too. I've mellowed out so much, if you can believe that. I think some of my sarcasm has faded, or perhaps just become more tasteful. I felt like a grown up before, but with you gone, I think I truly grew up. And I had to go through a lot of that emotional shit to get to that point…but I'm happier now."

Bella let out a breath and bit her lip.

"Did you mean for it to happen? Did you mean for me to end up liking your husband more than I ever thought possible? I care for him so much; he's my best friend, Taylor. You had different strengths as a best friend than he does," Bella chuckled, "Such as the whole clothes thing."

"It seems wrong, the two of us together, but to me…it doesn't feel wrong. I don't think I'm falling for the same man you did. I don't know, I guess I might just be trying to justify it to myself, but I don't think so."

Bella blinked a few times, preventing tears from leaking out.

"I just wish I could hear your voice. I want so badly to be able to talk to you again, Taylor. I miss you so much. I always will. When you died, a part of me did as well. It feels like the memories of my childhood were ripped away when that driver hit you; but I don't regret our friendship, and I wouldn't trade a second of our time together, even knowing how it ended."

Bella slowly stood up from the ground, resting her hands on the stone, just as Molly had done.

"I will come back more. I know you're always with me…but I'll visit you more than I have been. I promise."

Memories of pinky promises made over their childhood washed over Bella, causing the tears to spill over her eyes. It was always the hardest to think about the fact that she had lost the best friend of a lifetime.

"Love you, Tay; all day every day," Bella said, smiling a little at the last part.

"All day, every day" had been something that they always said jokingly, a lot during their tennis careers.

Bella swiped at a few more of the tears that were slipping slowly down her cheeks.

"Hey, it's okay."

Edward came behind her, wrapping his arm first around her waist before turning her to wrap the other around her body, holding her closely against him.

"Shh, you're too beautiful to cry," he hushed, kissing the top of her head.

Bella's response was to tighten her arms around him as she worked to get her breathing under control.

They stayed there, wrapped in each other's embrace for a few minutes as Bella fought to level out her breathing and stay calm, all the while remembering Taylor's memory in the best possible light. Molly was plopped on the grass by Taylor's stone, eating Cheerios out of a bowl Edward had brought.

"Edward?" she said quietly, lifting her head off of his chest to peer up at him.

"Hmm?" he asked, settling his arms around her waist as he looked down at her face. Her eyes always seemed bigger after she cried, and incredibly beautiful.

"I hate the reason I moved in with you," she told him.

Edward almost cracked a smile. "So do I."

"But being with you, and going on this crazy journey with you…I don't think it's been all bad, has it?"

Edward leaned down to press his lips against her forehead as her eyes fluttered closed.

"Not at all," he whispered.

Bella didn't meet his eyes as she admitted, "I'm really glad that…well, that I have you."

Edward smiled as he tilted his chin up gently with his finger. "I'm so lucky that I have you, Bella. You agreeing to stay with me was the best thing that has happened to me this past year. You're amazing, Bella. And I want to prove that to you."

* * *

_Well this road I'm on's gonna turn to sand_  
_And leave me lost in a far off land_  
_So let me ride the wind til I don't look back_  
_Forget the life that I almost had_

_Tell my brother please not to look for me_  
_I ain't the man that I used to be_  
_But if my savior comes could you let him know_  
_I've gone away for to save my soul_

_If I wander til I die_  
_May I know who's hand I'm in_  
_If my home I'll never find_  
_And let me live again_  
Longer I Run, Peter Bradley Adams

* * *

**AN:** And with that, so begins the the courting we've all so been waiting for. Granted, there will be a little uncertainty which may or may be resolved through an unlikely combination of England and Kessler.

Sorry this update was a week later than scheduled! I had to arrange part of a fundraiser for my golf team, and things just got busy! I hope this was worth the wait(:

What do you think about Molly? What an amazing kid! And Edward basically melted my heart. How do you think Bella has been handling everything? Would love to hear your thoughts on there matters and more!


	33. Little Moments

Little Moments.

Have you ever noticed that in life, little moments can turn out to have monumental effects? They can be the things that make life wonderful.

Over the past year, he had come to see the beauty in small things.

It was the beautiful things like the warm smell of his young daughter on his chest, or her smile at trying new foods.

It was the silent cups of coffees he shared with the woman he cared about it the morning. It was his dad telling him he was proud of him.

It was his brother and him smiling about something of their childhood.

These things were the things he had come to live for.

And she had everything to do with that.

~O~

"Alright, stakes are high. I want nothing but your best out there! Do you hear me? Nothing but your best! I want to see commitment on this field! I want to see passion and I want us to see glory! We will win because we have the hearts of champions, and our hearts beat as one! Now! Who's with me?"

Edward looked around the circle of the group of people he had chosen to lead him to victory on this the day of his 29th birthday.

"All right, hands in!"

Bella, Jasper, Lily, Carlisle and Peter all put their hands on top of his, allowing him his fun.

"Win on three! One, two three!"

"WIN!"

The group broke apart and began to sling their helmets on, protecting their heads as the padded vests protected their chests. They did this because, damn, paintballs could sting.

For Edward's 29th birthday, Bella had brought some of their closer friends and family up to her family cabin for a weekend of well-deserved fun. On that Saturday afternoon, Bella had booked the paintball field for their party, surprising Edward.

The goal of the game of paintball was essentially capture the flag. On the field were dozens of blown up shapes to take cover behind. On each side of the field was a flag, guarded by each respective team. To eliminate those of the opposite team, paint balls were used. Once you were hit three times, the referee watching in the stand would blow the whistle and call you out.

In summary, it was a bad ass game, and everyone was really freaking excited.

"I don't care if it's your birthday bro, we're kicking your ass!" Emmett, the other team captain, shouted. He grinned at Edward before putting on his helmet and holding up his paintball gun warningly.

"You just think you'll win because you have mom. I may have a problem hitting her, but Bella doesn't!" Edward called back, nodding at Bella who glared at him for the implication of her lacking of morals.

Esme placated Bella with a shout. "Don't feel guilty dear, I'm coming for you!"

Bella laughed. "Oh good, Esme!"

Emmett's team consisted of Alice, Esme, Lily's husband John, Peter's wife Charlotte, and Landon.

Edward and Landon had actually become good friends over the winter when Bella refused to go the NBA basketball games, and sent Landon to go with Edward, who had grudgingly allowed it. She didn't like basketball, and those two did, so it had worked out well from there. They had gotten along shockingly well. It had been somewhat awkward for everyone at first, but things were good.

Rosalie couldn't participate because of her pregnancy, and instead was with Molly, watching the field from the protected stand with the ref.

"Are you ready for this, lieutenant?" Edward asked, turning to Bella with a smile.

She smirked at him. "How did I get that position, captain?"

Edward glanced over at Jasper and then pretended to lower his voice, "Between you and me, he's all talk."

"Screw you, Cullen. Just because I don't want to shoot at your mom doesn't mean I suck!"

"So, I'm second in command because of my willingness to take down older women?" she asked.

"We both know you and I will be the last ones on this field," he responded, slipping on his helmet.

Bella grinned before following suit.

Edward held out his fist.

"You got my back, Swan?"

Bella bumped hers against his.

"Always."

~O~

Playing paintball is something Edward would recommend to everyone on the planet Earth.

It was so much fucking fun.

It took the fun of capture the flag and multiplied it by ten by adding paintball guns. Shooting them was so fun and made you feel like the coolest person in the world.

It was clear Emmett's team had a strategy. They moved in on one person of the opposite team, all ganging up on that person while John stayed back to guard the flag.

This strategy worked brilliantly the first time. It was clear Bella had tipped Emmett off on what their activity would be, and he had prepared accordingly. They got to Carlisle in the first ten minutes, easily hitting him three times.

"Damn it, Son!" Carlisle complained as the ref called him off the field.

Edward called a timeout, and was surprised when the ref granted him one.

Apparently there were timeouts in paintball.

Edward huddled his team together. "Alright, one of you needs to go as bait. They'll surround as they did before, but we'll surround them. Get as many shots as you can on them. Any volunteers?"

Everyone looked around and down at the suddenly fascinating ground.

"Lily it is!"

Lily glared at her boss.

"Fine. But _you're_ getting the coffee next week."

Their return ambush worked like a charm. Lily, flawless actress as ever, convincingly snuck through the field and allowed Emmett's team to surround her. Edward's team surrounded them, and when the Emmett's team began to fire at Lily, all hell broke loose.

Bella got two shots on Alice before she ducked, while Jasper and Peter tag teamed Landon. Edward effectively got two shots on Charlotte, as well as one on an unsuspecting Emmett.

The ref called Landon out, as he had been hit about nine times. Lily also went out, having been sacrificed. Peter and Jasper went off on Alice's trail while everyone else scrambled to re-position themselves behind barriers.

"Bella! Look out!"

Bella who had been standing, whipped her head to the side, recognizing Edward's voice.

Before she could figure out what was happening, or simply duck, a hard force slammed into her and sent her tumbling to the ground. But she didn't hit the hard grass, and instead landed on something softer.

"Damn it!" Emmett yelled, letting Bella know that she had been his target.

Bella turned down to look at Edward who had wrapped his arms around her and gotten her behind the cover a barrier, sending himself down as well. He had positioned himself to land on the ground, protecting her fall.

"Thanks," she breathed, their helmets resting against one another.

"I gotta watch out for my girl," Edward replied, and she could see his grin.

Bella smiled wide enough for him to see.

Edward rolled over from his back, taking her with him. Bella ended up pressed against the ground and Edward, as he hovered above her. She raised a teasing eyebrow, but he didn't see as he examined around them.

"Jasper and Peter seemed to have partnered up," he commented.

"You know, if you wanted to be my partner, you didn't have to pin me to the ground to do it," she replied, smirking.

Edward didn't even have seemed to notice that he had done just that. He gave her a sheepish grin.

"Alright then, partner, let's take down Charlotte," he said.

Bella nodded.

"You're going to have to get off me in order to do so," she reminded him.

Edward was briefly confused. "Huh…? Oh! Yeah."

Bella laughed as Edward rolled off of her and grabbed his gun. Bella got off the ground and peered over the inflatable barrier, Edward next to her.

"She's going for the flag," Bella whispered, watching as Charlotte crept through the field to their unguarded flag.

"Alright, move!"

Edward and Bella scrambled from where they were, darting through the barriers to reach Charlotte before she could get to the flag. Edward fired the first shot, missing her side while Bella tried to position herself better. Charlotte started to dart away, causing Edward to curse and chase after her.

"I got your flank!" Bella shouted after him as she moved.

"My what?" he hollered back, still chasing Charlotte who was trying to fire on him.

"Your flank!" she repeated, scanning around to see if anyone was approaching.

"You mean my ass?" he called back while he fired once more at Charlotte, missing as she darted behind a barrier.

"I suppose you could call it that!" she said, making sure to keep her back to him, as he was on the other side of the half height barrier.

"She's just checking out your ass, bro!" Emmett hollered, popping out from behind one of the barriers.

Bella felt the impact of the paintball hitting her chest before she could duck. Fuck.

"You okay, Bella?" Edward shouted from somewhere.

"Yeah! But you gotta watch your own flank now!" she yelled, peering around the barrier in order to see Emmett.

The occupants of the field heard the ref call out, "Player 5 of Team B, you're out!"

"Yes!" Celebratory cheers rang across the field from Team A, or Team Edward.

"Don't worry about my flank!" Edward called over to Bella, "I'll get Emmett! Go find my mom!"

"You know, if you two could stop focusing so much attention on Edward's flank, or ass, or whatever the hell it is, we're struggling down here!" Jasper complained with a yell.

Bella started to crawl quickly around the barriers, careful to watch for Emmett as she rushed to get to the other side.

"You know, yelling is a pretty good way of letting people know where you are, right?!" Emmett yelled.

From the sound of his voice, Bella knew she was a safe distance away from him. Oh, irony. She smirked to herself as she stood up to run. Thank you, Emmett.

"Player 2 of Team B, you're out!" the ref yelled.

Bella knew that was her one and only sister, Alice. She laughed, knowing Jasper and Peter had done their jobs.

"Player 4 of Team A, you're also out!" the ref yelled once more.

Bella popped up from behind a barrier to see Alice crossing the field, looking pissed as she headed out of bounds. Peter stood up only a small distance away from Bella. He was covered in red paint, obviously having been nailed. He followed Alice's path, glancing around him as he did so.

"Timeout!" Edward shouted.

"You don't get another timeout!" the ref hollered back.

Emmett's laughter rang across the area.

"Worth a shot!" Edward yelled back.

Out of corner of her eye, Bella saw a flash of blonde hair, covering behind a barrier a few away from her. She crawled on the ground quickly and reached Jasper who very nearly shot at her before identifying that she was on his team.

"How's it going over here?"

"Alice got me once, and then Esme got me a second time, while she positively killed Peter. John is still guarding the flag, but he has two shots," Jasper informed her.

"And Esme?"

Jasper snorted. "Perfectly clean."

"Emmett got me once, which is fair as I got him once before. Edward didn't have any last time I checked."

"I'll take John, you find Esme?" Jasper asked.

Bella high fived him.

"Let's find glory!" she grinned, roughly quoting Edward's speech.

"Is it just me or are you full of adrenalin?" Jasper asked as they peered over the barrier.

Bella laughed. "I'm so full of it I don't even think I'll sleep tonight!"

A flash of caramel hair was visible from a few barriers away, and Bella took off running. Jasper did the same, neither needing the cover, as the teams were evenly matched at the moment.

John finished off Jasper with one well-placed shot while Bella got two shots on Esme. She opted to go for John as Team Edward was out numbered. John joined Jasper and the others on the sideline.

Esme got a shot on Bella, but Bella fired and ducked, not seeing if she hit her target or not. She crouched down, resting her back against the inflatable as she tried to catch her breath.

"Player 6 of Team B, that's three shots!"

Bella smiled to herself. It was just her, Edward and Emmett left. They outnumbered him.

"How many shots are you at?" Edward yelled from a distance, clearly remaining by their flag.

"Two! You?" Bella called, standing up in the open. She couldn't see Emmett or Edward, but guessed they were near each other.

"Same!"

"Bella! Get the freaking flag and run like hell!" Jasper hollered, cupping his hands around his mouth from the sidelines.

Oh. Right.

"Finish him, Edward!" Bella yelled as she took off running.

Bella quickly weaved through the barriers and sprinted to Emmett's flag. She grabbed it, smiling to herself before turning and running across the field as Emmett and Edward shot at each other.

"Captain of Team A, you're out!"

"Fuck," Bella swore loudly, halting her run and ducking behind the closest barrier. It was just her and Emmett left.

"May I remind all remaining players that in order to win a player with the flag must make their way to the end of the field, where the barriers end."

"You got it Bella!"

"Kick his ass!"

"Get your shit together, Emmett!"

Bella grinned. It was apparent they now had cheerleaders. Vulgar ones.

"Cross the barriers, Swan! See how it works out for you!" Emmett challenged.

Bella popped up from the barrier and saw that Emmett was standing in the open with his arms in the air, his back to her.

She didn't know if Edward had gotten any shots on him or not, but she knew he had at least one. If there were two paintballs splattered on his chest, she just needed to hit his back to win. If there was only one and she shot him and ran, he could get her and win the game, as she had two.

_Take a chance, Bella_, she urged herself.

Seeing that Emmett was starting to turn, she made up her mind and fired at him and ran, not checking if she hit her target or not. She dropped her gun to the ground and sprinted across the field and through the remaining barriers before reaching the end of them.

"Captain of Team B, you're out! Congratulations to Team A!"

Bella turned and took off her helmet before holding her hands in the air, the flag clutched in her right fist. Emmett was gapping at her in shock from a short distance away. Everyone on the sidelines was making some type of noise as they crashed the field.

Bella laughed as Edward reached her in a run. She was surprised when he picked her up around the waist and twirled her around, but laughed at his exuberance.

"This is why you were the first pick of draft!" Edward laughed as he set her on her feet once again, giving her a squeeze before releasing her. The rest of their team was quickly approaching, whooping for joy.

Bella kept her arms loosely around his neck as she smiled.

"Couldn't have done it without you," she replied.

"Any of it," he said, smiling softly as they both knew they were no longer talking about the game.

"Any of it."

~O~

After everyone got cleaned up from the paintball war and Molly gave high fives to everybody on the winning team, the gang headed back to the Swan cabin for an afternoon on the lake.

There were Jet Ski races across the lake, providing another competitive outlet for the adrenaline filled group. Carlisle and Esme were the only ones who did not participate in that, as they were content to sit on the beach before going to make dinner for everyone, just another present to their son.

A few various people wanted to go tubing, including Alice and Bella, as it was tradition to them. Landon and Jasper went on for a while as well as Edward and Emmett. The two brothers quickly decided that while it was a really fun time, they had each had a kid, -whether currently or on the way- and they were too old for that shit.

They played football in the shallows, and also set up a volleyball net to play. It was a fun afternoon with a group of people that really meshed well together and fed off one another's energy.

By the time they got sunburnt, people were nearly ready for dinner. They trudged up the 10 wooden stairs to get to the cabin, changing out of their swimsuits and in to clothes. Then of course, Boche Ball was broken out and they were entertained until dinner.

Esme and Carlisle had outdone themselves when it came to dinner. Carlisle had grilled six different types of meats while Esme had made three pasta salads, brownies, cookies and a cake, along with perfectly cut fruit and fabulous chip selections. Bella was pretty sure she had gained at least five pounds after she had finished eating.

Once dinner was over, Emmett and Jasper went into the woods, looking for big logs to contribute to the bonfire they were planning to have on the sandy beach that evening. Lily and John had to make the drive home, as did Charlotte and Peter, as Charlotte had to work that Sunday.

After dinner, Edward rocked with Molly on the hammock, listening to her innocent babble with a smile, his lips never far from her head. He had the sweetest kid in the world, and God did he love her. She was a never failing light in his life, and just hearing her giggle could melt his heart.

Simba cuddled with them too.

"Daddy, Simba s'inks!" she said, wrinkling up her nose as the puppy dozed off on Edward's lap next to her.

"I know, baby girl, wet puppies don't always smell too good," he chuckled. Simba had been just as delighted in the water as Molly had been.

"Where's Simba's daddy?" she wondered curiously.

Edward grinned.

"I'm not sure, honey."

"What abou' his mama?"

"She's at the farm where we got Simba from," he replied.

"Oh."

Molly settled back against his chest. Edward looked down at her with a raised eyebrow, incredulous that she was silent, even momentarily.

"Where's Mama?" she asked, making Edward smirk. Nine seconds was an impressive record for her.

Edward glanced around, seeing several people milling around, but no Bella. When he turned his gaze towards the lake, his eyes settled on a small figure at the end of the dock.

"She's over there," he told Molly, pointing in her direction.

"Oh. Is she sad, Daddy?" Molly asked, eyebrows furrowed.

Edward frowned, unknowingly mirroring his daughter's look. "I don't think so, sweetie."

"You should go as' her, Daddy," she told him with a serious nod.

Edward smiled.

"Do you want to go with Grandpa while I do that?" he asked.

Molly bobbed her head up and down, looking around for Carlisle already. Edward couldn't help but wonder if he had been played by his two year old.

Once Molly was with Carlisle and Simba with Alice, Edward headed down the stairs and to the end of the dock. Bella glanced over her shoulder when she heard him coming and gave him a soft smile.

He sat down next to her, slipping his feet over the edge and into the water.

"Molly wanted me to come and ask if you were sad," he said with a grin.

Bella laughed quietly. "And where did she get that from?"

Edward shook his head. "If I knew where that kid got half the things in her mind from."

They shared a smile before looking back out at the lake. The sun was just beginning its descent over the horizon and water was beginning to calm. It was beautiful, and the time that Bella had fallen in love with as a kid.

"What are you doing down here?" he wondered.

Bella shrugged, continuing to twirl her feet in the water. "Something about this time of day always draws me here."

"I can see why. It's a spot where everything…just makes sense."

Bella nodded, and glanced at him briefly with a smile before looking down again, not quite meeting his eyes.

"Well almost everything. There's still something I can't quite figure out," she admitted softly.

"What's that?" he wondered, looking at her closely.

Her cheeks were red from the sun, and freckles were appearing on her nose. Her hair was windblown and wild. His breath was taken away as realized how utterly beautiful she was.

She looked up and met his eyes.

"You."

Edward raised his eyebrows.

"Me?" he asked.

She nodded.

"You're the one thing that I haven't quite figured out."

A stray of hair fell loose from behind her ear as he watched her. Without a conscious thought, he lifted his hand to brush the hair off of her soft cheek and back behind her ear.

"What's there to figure out?" he whispered.

Bella turned to him, as they inched closer to one another. Once their lips were just inches apart, hers parted and she breathed, "This."

Edward closed the distance between them as Bella leaned toward him. He pressed his lips against hers, tentatively at first. His body instantly remembered the kiss from six months ago, and the way it had lit him on fire.

Bella lifted her hand up to weave her fingers through his hair, bringing him closer against her as she returned the kiss. Their lips moved against each other, igniting sparks in their body that neither had experienced with a chaste, by many standards, kiss.

Edward let his tongue slide against her bottom lip and nearly moaned when she granted him access and he could taste a hint of chocolate from the cake they had eaten. When Bella pulled harder against his hair, he did let out a small moan which was almost instantly echoed by a tiny whimper from Bella.

Minutes later when they broke apart, each was gasping for breath, shocked that this kiss not only rivaled the previous, but had surpassed it.

Bella let her head fall against his shoulder as they waited for their heart rates to drop back to a normal level. Edward entwined his fingers with hers, resting their joined hands on his leg.

With her regaining of oxygen, Bella found the words that she had been needing to say for a while.

"Edward, I need to figure out if we can do that. I need to know if you're okay with it, and if I'm okay with it," she said, lifting her head off his shoulder to meet his gaze. "We've been tiptoeing around it because neither of us were ready...but, things have changed.

"That kiss was…well, it was literally breathtaking. The way you make me feel is something I would have never imagined and damn it if I didn't have a crush on you Edward Cullen."

Edward grinned.

"I'm in London in a few days, and I'll be there for a week. I think, well I hope, that should give us time to figure things out."

Edward opened his mouth, to protest, Bella presumed.

"Please don't decide anything yet. I know it's hard to think clearly when I'm around you, and I'll be mildly insulted if you have a perfectly clear head in return."

Edward laughed and leaned in to kiss her temple.

"Well, just so you know, I have a crush on you too, Bella Swan."

* * *

_When life leaves you high and dry_  
_I'll be at your door tonight_  
_If you need help, if you need help_  
_I'll shut down the city lights,_  
_I'll lie, cheat, I'll beg and bribe_  
_To make you well, to make you well_

_When enemies are at your door_  
_I'll carry you away from war_  
_If you need help, if you need help_  
_Your hope dangling by a string_  
_I'll share in your suffering_  
_To make you well, to make you well_

_Give me reasons to believe_  
_That you would do the same for me_  
Gone, Gone, Gone by Phillip Phillips

* * *

**AN:** Awww...Edward is happy! Remember where he was a year ago? Literally too wrapped up in grief to even acknowledge a birthday.

I think right now, these two are at an incredibly important stage. "I like you, you like me, but can we really work? Because my heart isn't ready for another break." Next chapter, we'll have the answer! You might be able to guess...(:

Make sure to send me your thoughts on this chapter! I think it's one of my favorite, because it's just so much lighter...and that kiss!


	34. Happiness

Happiness.

Sometimes it's worked for and sometimes it's given. Sometimes one has to look for it, other times they come upon it unexpectedly.

He had had happiness in all of these different ways in the past few years of his life.

Happiness had been given to him when he held his baby daughter in his hands for the first time, and happiness had been taken away when he'd seen is wife lying unresponsive in a hospital room.

But, he was discovering the other kind of happiness. The kind you choose to have, the kind you have to work for, and when you finally find it, it's every bit as worth it.

She was his new happiness.

~O~

It was official. Bella was in love with England.

Unlike last year's business trip to New York she had dreaded, she had been incredibly excited to go London for a week for work purposes.

She had always wanted to go England, ever since she had read Harry Potter, to be completely honest. It always seemed like a faraway land filled with incredible sights and people. And while she had yet to find wizards, it certainly did not disappoint.

The purpose of the business trip was to negotiate publishing contracts for some of the more popular books Gray Books published. There were also a couple movie adaptations which needed to be considered with companies based in London. The southern branch manager, Maggie Smith also was scheduled for several meetings and was in London as well.

One of the several reasons Bella was excited about that particular trip was the security she felt knowing her place with Edward. She knew he and Molly would be fine, and perhaps it would be good for them to spend a week together. She wasn't as concerned about his mental state or physical well-being as the last time she had left.

This security had altered somewhat with Edward's birthday weekend and the kiss they had shared. It had been followed somewhat by an ultimatum that had left them both deep in thought, even when Edward had dropped her off at the airport.

Bella cared for Edward and Molly beyond reason, but she had to consider her future. If things weren't possible with Edward, then she would have figure life out, because she couldn't put that part of her life on hold any longer. Also, with each day that passed, it grew harder and harder to even conceive the notion that Bella would leave.

So when she got back from London, she hoped both of them would have a clearer perspective of what they wanted in the future.

_"Well, just so you know, I think I have a crush on you too, Bella Swan."_

Bella smiled every time Edward's words rang through her mind. He was so sweet, and funny in a way that completely complimented her humor, and he was so gentle and wise. Edward hadn't always been so tender nor had the wisdom he did now. It had happened gradually after the death of Taylor.

He had become a different man since her passing, a man still recognizable, yet completely changed. He was a man worthy of love and everything great the world had to offer.

But Bella didn't know if that was herself or not.

All Bella knew was the compulsion she had to do everything possible to make Edward happy. She wanted him happy as much as she needed oxygen in her body. He was so very important to her, and all she wanted was to see him safe and cared for.

But what followed that compulsion was an overwhelming urge to be the person who made him happy.

The question that was never far from those thoughts, however, was: could she do it?

Could she love her dead best friend's husband?

That's what she needed to consider during her time in London. And Edward needed to figure out if he could be in a relationship with someone so closely tied to his late wife. Bella figured that with an ocean between them, they should both be able to think clearly and rationalize their situation.

And that's she told Maggie on the train returning to London from the fields of England where they had toured so castles that afternoon.

"Rationalize the situation?" Maggie asked with a raised and almost amused eyebrow.

Bella nodded.

"How's that going for you, dear?" she wondered with a smirk.

Bella's eyes narrowed teasingly. "Why do I get the sense that this amuses you?"

Maggie, a woman in her 40's with crisp blonde hair and kind blue eyes, smiled in return. "Not the situation you've found yourself in Bella, but merely your reaction of it."

"My wanting to rationalize a situation is funny?" Bella asked in confusion.

Maggie smiled patiently. "Oh sweetie, you're in the wrong profession if you've chosen now to rationalize and analyze things."

The English country sides continued to move past them in a beauty that made Bella ache at the sight. Being in Europe had drastically improved her being.

"Meaning?" Bella asked.

"You work and live in the world of books. In a novel anything can happen, no matter how crazy. Characters in the books we publish follow their hearts and usually throw caution to wind. We both love that, it's something that draws us to literature," she explained.

Bella nodded and pursed her lips in thought. "What you're saying is that it's okay for me to be with him?"

Maggie shrugged.

"I don't think there's any wrongness of two people who care about one another trying a relationship. However, the approach I was going for is that you have to know your heart and then follow it. Don't rationalize as other people would, because sometimes love isn't rational."

Bella nodded, somewhat in awe of the wisdom she was receiving from the woman sitting across from her.

Maggie leaned across the space between them and patted Bella's knee. "You'll figure it out. Be open to listening to your heart, because you'll get all the signs you need."

"Thanks Maggie. Somehow I can't imagine Jeremy giving this type of advice," she said with a grin. Jeremy was the eastern branch manager that neither was fond of.

Maggie threw her head back and laughed. "That's why I like you Miss Swan." She stood up, "Now if you'll excuse me, I find I must use the loo."

"The loo?" Bella chuckled.

"When in Rome…" Maggie trailed off as she walked towards the end of the car.

Bella settled back in her seat, gazing again out the window. The fact that she was riding on train was something that didn't fail to leave her giddy. She wondered what Molly's reaction would be to London.

Bella hadn't even got settled into musing before her phone began to vibrate against her leg. She slid it out of her pocket and glanced at the screen before sliding her finger to unlock the screen and answer.

"Hello?"

"Top of the morning to you!"

Bella laughed. "I'm pretty sure that's Irish."

"Damn," Edward replied with a sigh.

"What's up?" she asked, leaning against her seat more.

"Oh I just got out of a meeting and figured I should give you a call," he replied nonchalantly.

"Was it the McCain settlement meeting?" Bella asked excitedly. Edward had been on the case for a while and the two of them had even worked on it together, Bella offering some of her knowledge and extending an ear for Edward to bounce thoughts off of.

"Indeed it was," he replied, and she could hear the smile in his face.

"And they settled?" she wondered anxiously.

"Yes they did," he informed her, probably beaming.

"No way! Good job! I knew you could get them!" she congratulated him sincerely.

"Couldn't have done it without you, Bella," Edward responded.

"Well you could have, but thanks for stroking my ego," she laughed.

"Any time," he said. "How's it over there across the pond?"

Bella smiled, looking out the window again. "It's amazing. It's so beautiful everywhere. There's so much history within the whole country. And, I got to see where they filmed parts of the 1st Harry Potter, so…top that."

Edward laughed. "I don't think that's top able. Emmett said he loved England, but liked Ireland better."

Emmett had traveled the world after one year of law school. He had spent a year seeing all that he could on the planet, and Bella envied him completely.

"You mean the pubs were better on the Emerald Isle?" she snorted.

"That probably played an important role in his assessment, yes."

Bella giggled.

"How's Molly?"

"Bubbly as ever. The kid never stops talking, and I'm just realizing that," he informed her, seeming somewhat panicked by this news.

"Usually you have me to absorb some of the noise," she reminded him.

"And don't think for a second that I don't appreciate it."

There was a pause in the conversation where only the quiet chatter of other people on the car and the sound of the train's wheels turning were what Bella heard.

"How are you?" Edward asked softly with a forced nonchalance.

"I'm good," she said, knowing he probably wanted more information than that.

"Have you…you know, thought about things?" he asked, burning with wonder.

Bella stifled a sigh. "I haven't run screaming for the hills yet. I'm still working on it."

"As long as we're both on the same page in that respect," Edward sighed.

"I'll let you get back to work," Bella said. "I'll talk to you later,"

"Okay, bye, s- Bella, enjoy the castles."

Bella wondered what Edward had possibly started to say or call her than began with an "s."

Maggie came back from the bathroom, or loo, Bella allowed, nearly five minutes later. She had been in there for a lot time, but it would be completely inappropriate to even consider commenting on that.

"Pull up CNN on your iPad," Maggie said as soon as she returned to her seat. There was a deep frown on her face and sadness in her eyes.

Bella said this was a serious request and went about to do it immediately instead of asking why.

Maggie moved from her seat to sit next to Bella as the website loaded on her tablet. When it Bella covered mouth to hide her gasp.

"Oh no," she whispered.

16 PEOPLE DEAD IN SHOOTING, was the headline that reached Bella's eyes. Her and Maggie both read through the main story classified under breaking news. A shooter had gone to ordinary shopping mall in North Carolina, somehow managing to get three guns in with him and had released hundreds of bullets on those surrounding, killing 16 people before killing himself.

"There were children," Bella whispered in heartbreak. Three children under the age of 10 had been killed for no reason.

Maggie shook her head sadly. "How can this happen? Why do people kill one another like this? I will never understand it."

"I just don't get how our world is so full of hate and sadness," Bella said, "This isn't the first time something like this has happened and I know it won't be the last."

"I can't even say how much I hate living in a world where we could go somewhere and be killed for no reason. You shouldn't have to worry about living every moment as if it's your last…but we do."

Bella flipped off her tablet, unable to look at any more of it.

"And yet we still have people who hate others based completely on their race, religion or sexual preference. I don't get it! Why do people care what others do? This world is big and scary, and the only way to get through life is to find a way to make you happy. So who thinks they have a right to wage such a war of hate, when people just want to be loved and find purpose?"

Instead of responding, Maggie looked at Bella intently, her head tilted and her gaze speaking wonders.

Bella realized she had just found the answer she had been searching for.

~O~

Over the past few months, Edward had taken to getting his feelings out through sweat. Whenever he felt frustrated, or mad, or even sad, he had started going to the gym.

The results of this could be seen in his body. He had never been overweight, or even too skinny. But after high school sports finished, he just didn't have the time to build his body with muscle. He had usually just fit the status quo, with a regular male body. Now, however, his abdominals were defined as were his biceps and triceps.

So when Bella left for England, and left him with a heavy question, he knew he might find solace at the gym, alone to his thoughts. He dropped Molly off with Taylor's parents before heading to the gym. Bella had been gone for three days, and he had yet to make progress with his internal dilemma.

He wanted Bella; that much was painfully obvious. He did literally mean painfully, as the hard on he had been sporting after their kiss by the lake had been quite prominent. She was kind, and funny, and smart and so beautiful. She was really an ideal partner.

But he didn't know if he was ready to date again. Taylor had been gone for over a year…but was that even enough time to mourn her death? Would he be doing Taylor's memory a great disservice by moving onto another woman, especially one she loved?

That was really the only question that was holding him back from being with Bella.

Emotionally, he had come a long way since the death of Taylor. He had healed and learned to function again at an abnormal pace, and largely due to Bella. She had shown him so many things about life, death and himself.

But would he be disrespecting Taylor?

This is the thought that plagued him as he walked through the entrance of the gym and to the men's locker room. He was looking at his iPod, trying to figure out what songs would fit his current mood and didn't notice the other occupant of the room.

"Cullen?"

Edward turned to the voice and saw Bella's tennis coach standing there, tying his shoe laces.

"Kessler, how's it going?" Edward asked, giving him one of those "manly bro shakes," as Bella called them.

"Can't complain. How about yourself?"

"Pretty good," Edward shrugged.

Kessler nodded before taking a water bottle out of his locker. "How's Bella?"

"She left for London a couple days ago. And being there is the best thing ever and she wants a British accent," Edward reported.

Kessler laughed. "I knew she was excited about that. I'm glad she's enjoying herself. She works too hard; she needs to see more of the world."

Edward nodded in agreement as they made their way out of the locker room and to the equipment.

"Do you have a routine?" Kessler asked.

Edward shrugged. "Usually I just need to burn off energy and frustrations…"

"And all that shit from the day?"

They both had been heading for the treadmills to start their workout, so it made sense for them to select two that were next to each other. Edward liked to think when he ran, but he supposed he could try and keep up a conversation. Kessler, however, put in his ear buds and began setting his machine. Edward followed suit, glad to have avoided meaningless chatter.

Edward ran four miles, loving the feel of his legs pounded against the treadmill as he did so. He didn't stop until the distance said 4.00. After that, he slowed down to a walk while the coach next to him finished his four miles.

Edward took a swing from his water bottle while the two men pulled out their ear buds. "Wanna spot me?" Edward asked, nodding over at the bench press.

He wasn't sure why he asked, but something in him knew that this coach would have answers that he needed.

Kessler chugged his water before nodding. "Sure, no problem."

They went over to the bench and Edward laid down and didn't waste time as he began to bench immediately. Neither said anything of remote depth. Instead they made a few comments to one another as they lifted and switched places.

After they bench pressed, Kessler moved over to where the weights were and began curling. Edward followed suit.

A few minutes later, Kessler pulled out his ear buds once again. Edward glanced at him, and then took out his own as well.

"Alright, what do you want do know?" Kessler asked, sitting down at a pull weight a few feet away.

Edward continued to curl his hand held weights. "What do you mean?"

"You have the look of a man with a question on your face," he noted.

Edward shrugged. "I guess I do."

Kessler gave him look. "And if it's for me, I'd assume it's about a certain smartass brunette we both know."

"What was it like to work with Bella and Taylor at the same time?" Edward blurted.

Kessler grinned. "It was the most fun I've ever had coaching."

Edward raised his eyebrows.

Kessler continued to lift as he explained. "The two of them were very dynamic together. They complimented one another really well. I'm sure you know that. "

Edward nodded in acknowledgment.

"Why was Bella you favorite?" he asked.

Kessler gently set the weight down before turning to look at Edward.

"I've always seen myself in Bella. We have similar personalities what with the sarcasm and sometimes saying stuff we shouldn't but that we believe in it. She's smart and can hold her own, and as always been incredibly mature. When she's not being snarky, she's really a sweetie."

Kessler rubbed at his chin. "I only have a son, but if I had a daughter, I imagine she'd be something like Bella. I'd hope so anyway, because I'm proud as hell of that kid."

"I've never disliked Taylor. She was always very nice and friendly, as well as dedicated. But she didn't always display the same matureness as Bella did, or the true compassion you can sometimes find in Bella. Taylor, instead of sometimes, was always, without fail, nice and caring to everyone…just not quite the passionate way Bella is occasionally."

Edward sat down on the weight press bench, halfheartedly lifting the dumbbells.

Kessler gave him a pondering look as he moved another machine near the press bench by Edward.

"You know, I don't even think Bella knows what I'm about to say, though I guess it wouldn't surprise me if she did."

Edward looked at him quizzically.

"I'm my wife's second husband. I've never been married before her, but she was married right out of college to one my buddies."

Kessler allowed Edward to digest this as the former grunted through his last three reps. Once he had finished that, he leaned forward and propped his elbows on his knees.

"Ryan hadn't been my end all best friend or anything, but we had been good enough friends. My wife was in our friend group in college, and the two of them got together senior year and married shortly after," he told.

"Ryan was a police officer; went into it right out of college. They had been married two years when he was shot in the line of duty. They worked to save him, but in the end, he just didn't make it."

Once again, Kessler gave Edward time to process what he was saying as he lifted another set of reps.

"I don't know how it happened, but two years later, me and Annie, my wife, found each other. And those first couple months of our relationship were the hardest yet best times I've ever had. We both struggled with the relationship we were in, but in the end, the need to be together won out and we gave in to the, well, love."

"Do you, I mean to say…have you ever, um-"

"Have I ever felt like second place? Or that I don't have her whole heart?"

Edward was embarrassed to once again have blurted out, but nodded.

"I can understand why people may think that, I guess…but I've never doubted that she loves me with her whole being. I don't feel like the second choice, because it wasn't a choice. It's a completely different situation."

"Do I sometimes wonder who she would pick if he was alive?" Kessler shrugged in response to his self-posed question. "No, I don't. Because that wouldn't be a choice she'd have to make because he is not coming back. We have a life together, and a beautiful son. She'll never forget Ryan…but you gotta go on."

Kessler sighed and stretched out his arms before dropping them and looked Edward in the eye. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's a slippery slope, but not impossible to climb."

Edward was beginning to see why Bella adored the coach, and went to him for advice often.

"Why are you telling me this?" he wondered.

Kessler's eyes almost twinkled as he smiled.

"Because Bella's an easy person to love."

~O~

"Flight number 27 has landed at terminal G. Passengers are now exiting the airplane."

He had promised her that he would pick her up from the airport once her plane had landed back in the states.

Edward watched as passengers from first class began to exit the tunnel and look around in order to sort their bearings. His heart pounded in a fluttery sensation as he scanned the crowd for his brunette.

Bella emerged from the crowd, evidently having been searching for him as well.

Her face lit into a huge smile when her gaze met his, and he found himself returning it with an equal amount of joy.

"Hey there," Bella smiled when she was near him.

"Welcome back," he said, keeping his arms behind his back.

Before Bella could say anything, or rather, just give him a big hug, Edward pulled a bouquet of flowers from behind his back. They were pink, orange and white and incredibly beautiful.

"Will you go on a date with me, Bella?" he asked, unable to disguise his nervousness. Neither had given the other any indication on how they had decided to handle their situation, and Edward was really anxious that the beautiful woman in front of him would say no.

Bella gasped at the words and the flowers.

"Edward…are you sure?" she asked with wide eyes.

He nodded.

"I want you and me together Bella. I've never been more sure. Bella, I'd really like to date you."

Bella threw her arms around his neck.

She had reached the same conclusion that he had, but had been terrified that he wouldn't return her sentiments.

"Yes Edward, I'd love to go on a date with you."

* * *

_I dont give a damn about the castle on the hill _  
_all the gold that we could eat, or the horse you had for sale _  
_No, I'm getting kinda rich on the side of any soul alive _  
_I dont give a damn if I'm running from the law _  
_when my money's not enough and they come and take it all _  
_No, I'm getting kinda rich on the side of any soul alive _

_Wanna be ok when I'm sitting here alone_  
_Not just thinking of the ways that I could have done it wrong _  
_No, I'm getting kinda rich on the side of any soul alive _

_Have you heard the Mona Lisa? _  
_Have you heard who you are? _  
_You're a new morning  
_New Morning, Alpha Rev

* * *

**AN:** Happy Mother's day to all of you wonderful mamas! Keep on kicking butt.

I'm sorry this update is so late, it's the AP season and golf is every day, so I've been swamped. Thanks for being so patient!

I would like to quick clarify my use of a shooting to push Bella in figuring it out. Tragedies happen in our world that should never occur, but they do, and if something good can from that bad, I believe the victims don't die in vain. Life's short, and bottom line is that you need to be happy, whatever that means.

As always, let me know your thoughts! This is may be one of Brenner's last appearances in the story, and I don't think he disappointed!


	35. Firsts

Firsts.

Over the past two years of his life, he had had and witnessed countless firsts. Many had come from his daughter, who was still such a young little thing and had nothing but firsts ahead of her.

Others had come as a result of less happy things; burying his wife was a first, yet one that he had never imagined he would have to do in his lifetime. Being a single father was another first, which he had adapted to with some help.

There's no denying that firsts are special and exciting in life; first steps, first words, first kisses, first times and first dances.

But if one looks at life as a whole, there are thousands of firsts which can be just as exciting, or sometimes more exciting than a general first.

Kissing a woman he deeply cared about who wasn't his wife was a first that he wouldn't trade.

~O~

"So you're really convinced this is a good idea?" Bella asked with a smile.

"The idea in theory is good…in actuality I'm not as sure anymore," Edward replied as they hoisted a canoe into the water.

"You really just didn't want to take me out to dinner, huh?" she teased.

Edward gave her a smothering smile. "That's for regular people. You're too special for that."

Bella attempted to roll her eyes, but looked away to hide her silly grin.

Edward had wanted their first date to be special, and something neither of them had ever done. Bella couldn't exactly say how he had found the place they were at, but she couldn't deny that she was excited.

They had driven about 60 miles east of where they lived to one of the larger rivers in the Midwest. Edward had booked a daylong canoe trip down the river, where at the end they would be picked up and driven back to where they started.

Molly, despite her best attempts, had been left with Rose and Emmett for the day. Emmett said he needed practice, since their child was on the way. Molly had wanted to go with Bella and Edward, but had been easily deterred when she saw the Slip-n-Slide Emmett had purchased and set up for the goddaughter he adored.

Once their canoe was floating in the water, Edward moved to sit in the back of it.

"What are you doing?" Bella asked, eyeing him.

"Aren't I steering?" he asked in apparent confusion.

Bella smirked and shook her head. "Just because you're a male doesn't mean your aquatic navigational skills are decent."

Edward raised an eyebrow. "And yours are?"

"I spent a month in Canada when I was 17, with nothing but a canoe and eight other girls," Bella in informed, not lacking in priss.

"Fine, but when we tip, I'm blaming you," he responded, not appearing irritated in the least.

They settled into the canoe, albeit a bit wobbly. There were five other pairs that were going on this expedition, and they were setting about leisurely mulling around.

"We gotta leave these guys in the dust," Bella muttered as her and Edward began to paddle.

"Explain to me how that works if we're in water," Edward replied from the front of the canoe as they set a steady pace.

"I'm glad you're secure enough in your masculinity to be so sassy," she commented.

Each of them smiled to themselves.

It was a beautiful July day. The sun was shining down, warming their faces and shoulders, yet a slight breeze in the air made the temperature near perfection.

"Tell me more about this Canadian excursion," he said. Bella glanced behind her to see that they had already established themselves ahead of the pack. Her competitive nature would never diminish.

"Well it was 28 days of canoeing and tenting. There were no real adults around, and electricity was miles away. It was one of the most fun experiences I've ever had," she told him.

"Character building?" he asked.

"And soul searching. All the works," she replied.

"But that seems like an awfully high amount of estrogen for a long time," he said, almost scared by the fact in itself.

"Oh my God, we cried all the time. The first week, we'd just sit there crying while we paddled, or sobbing hysterically after a hard portage."

Edward turned and gave her a blank look.

She laughed. "You know, when you have to hike around with your giant bags and the canoes on your heads?"

Understanding filled his face. "Sounds dreadful."

"Positively," she agreed. "We also yelled at each other a lot. I've never sworn so much in my life."

"I find that hard to believe," he teased.

Bella laughed. "Understandably so, I suppose."

For a while, they didn't speak. The river they were going down wasn't littered with houses or cabins. On the contrary, the land on each side of the river was a state park, and therefore free of settlements. It was a beautiful day, and the dipping of paddles into water to produce the gliding on the water.

If more dates were like this, Bella contemplated, perhaps she would enjoy dating more.

She hadn't had to get all dressed up in a fancy outfit (or a casual outfit that still had to be a perfect amount of fancy.) She hadn't had to put on uncomfortable shoes or spend a lot of time on her hair. It had been nice.

Not that she was looking rough or anything. She was wearing cute denim jean shorts, a light white blouse which was loosely tied around a yellow tank top, and her hair was in a "messy" bun that required more effort than the name implied.

Edward turned in the canoe and sat his paddle across the canoe. Bella gave him a quizzical look but followed suit as they merely drifted in the water.

"What would you say to me teaching?" he asked suddenly.

"Well I'd probably ask where that came from," she replied, hedging.

Edward shifted his lower jaw.

"Before that, what would your first reaction be?" he wondered.

Bella gave him a smile. "I think you would be wonderful at it."

Edward let out a breath, and Bella could see how much he had been thinking about this.

"A buddy of my dad's is the dean of William Mitchell, the best law school in the state. One of their professors suddenly had to back out of the coming semester, and he's scrambling. He asked if I'd be willing to take some time off and teach," Edward explained.

"Oh," Bella said. "When did he ask?"

Edward shrugged. "Yesterday."

"What did your dad think?" she wondered.

Edward chuckled. "What do you think? He is totally fine with whatever I decided."

"Do you _want_ to teach?" she asked.

"I don't know. I love my job…but, something appeals about teaching to me, you know?"

Bella smiled. "I wanted to be a teacher when I was younger. Something about always being leader made it appeal to my nature. You get to teach eager people about something that you love. You would not have to worry about settlements or offers for a few months."

"Yeah, but…you know…could I?"

Bella noticed that Edward had an uncertainty about himself she had never seen before. She gave him a soft smile.

"If there's one thing I know about you, it's that you can absolutely do anything you set your mind to."

"You actually believe that?" he asked.

She tilted her head. "You don't?"

"Well, it's more so…you just see me differently than I see myself I suppose."

Bella dismissed her want to frown, and instead grinned.

"Well, it's a good thing that we have already established that I'm usually the one who is right."

Edward just shook his head and rolled his eyes, though Bella did not miss the smile on his lips.

To lighten the moment, Bella glanced behind her shoulder. She saw one of the more athletic duos in a canoe slowly approaching them.

"Let's get it moving, stud! They're gaining on us!"

For the next hour or so, Edward and Bella continued to make their way down the river, talking about nothing incredibly heavy. Instead, they merely got to know things about one another that they hadn't known before. This was brought on in part by Edward feeling unsettled that he hadn't known about her month in Canada in high school.

Edward realized that while he did know a lot about Bella, much of that had been learned through Taylor, or as a result of talking about Taylor. He felt slighted that he hadn't got to learn certain things about her first hand. She deserved to tell him everything about herself, whether he knew it or not.

If Bella noticed that Edward had question after question, and never said anything when she explained something he already knew, she didn't comment. Instead, she found herself doing the same in return.

She didn't want to know about Edward, Taylor's husband. She wanted to know about simply Edward. Edward felt along the similar lines, and was content seeing Bella as a woman in her own right.

Interestingly enough neither had said a word about Taylor at all during the day.

That had been a somewhat common thread through the past few months. They talked about her, and by no means avoided her name or memory. But it was just easy to have a conversation without Taylor having to be a crux of it.

About midday, the duo approached a sand bar of types in the middle of the river. It wasn't a whole lot of land, but it was about 30 feet of sand and grass with some shrubs scattered about. They landed their canoe, Bella navigated smoothly.

Edward hopped out of the canoe and grabbed hold of the cooler they had brought along. He offered his other hand to Bella to help her out of the canoe. Once her feet were on land, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and they walked to a grassy patch and sat down.

Bella went to open the cooler and retrieve their lunch, when Edward gently held her back and pulled her in for a kiss.

In seconds, his lips touched hers so innocently at first, as soft and gentle as a first kiss exchanged by teenagers. Bella melted against his tender administrations briefly, but wanted more almost instantly.

Edward waited for her to kiss him back with the vigor she wanted. He didn't wait long, as she was drawn to his soft yet firm lips. Bella's lips moved against his with a need that shocked even herself. Edward, not one to back down or deny a lady what she wanted, met her lips, quickly feeling the evidence of their kissing.

Bella slid her hands into his hair, massaging his scalp as she pulled him against her. Edward took advantage of Bella's parted mouth and gently touched his tongue to her supple bottom lip, causing Bella to instantaneously part her mouth wider and moan.

Too soon for Bella's liking, Edward broke away from her mouth and peppered her mouth with baby kisses before leaving a trail of hot wet kisses down her neck. Her breathing sped up as each of Edward's hands came up to her waist, their heat radiating through her shirt as he held onto her firmly. After suckling her neck for an all too brief time, he made his way back up and pressed a kiss behind her ear, noticing her immediate shiver.

She felt him smile against her skin before repeating the action.

"Would I ruin the whole gentleman reputation I have going on here if I moved my hands higher?" Edward asked in a warm whispered close to her ear.

Bella's belly clenched at the notion.

"Not at all," she breathed.

Edward's mouth leaned back over to Bella's and tangled with her in a passionate embrace as he eased her back against the sand, never breaking their kiss.

Bella nearly combusted when she felt Edward's hands travel north from her waist to each side of her breasts. Her core clenched in mere anticipation of his touch.

Their tongues continue to tangle as Edward's hands gently touched each of her breasts. Bella's moan was near immediate.

Edward tentatively fondled the mounds of flesh. He stroked the sides light with his fingers before moving his thumb softly over her sensitized nipples.

Bella brought her legs together in an attempt to find friction where she felt she desperately needed it. She felt the evidence of his arousal press against her thigh.

This reaction was not unnoticed by Edward.

In fact, it caused Edward to bring his forefingers with his thumbs to tweak the peddled nubs. It was a light touch at first and then was tentatively harder, hearing her soft whimper. Bella fought the urge to buck up against.

She was astounded by her own reaction to them so quickly making it to second base. She had never felt more on fire, and that was evident by the dampness she felt in her panties.

Edward and Bella both seemed to run out of air at the same time. They broke away from one another, each gasping for air. Edward's heart pounded as if he had run a mile as he tried to fill his lungs with desperately needed oxygen.

He dropped his head down by her shoulder as his hands slowly slid from her breasts down once more to her waist. Edward couldn't help but love the way his large hands nearly covered the expanse of her tiny, sexy waist.

When their breaths faded from gasps, Edward lifted his head up from the crook of her neck.

"Edward," she breathed so softly that it was hardly a whisper. Her fingers moved across his forehead and down his closed eyes, over his nose and along his cheekbones. She traced his soft face as if she was suddenly unable to see and could express her affection through touch alone.

As her fingers glided past his mouth, he gently kissed them. He was already wishing they hadn't broken apart.

"Is this okay…?" she asked quietly. She went back to stroking her hands through his hair.

She loved his hair, it was soft and thick. It had grown longer over the past year. For all she had known him before then, he had kept it relatively shorter; it would have not been easy to let her fingers roam as they were now.

Edward leaned his face down and placed a soft, warm kiss against her forehead. It was the lightest of touches yet perhaps the most intimate of the day.

"It's okay, beautiful; it couldn't possibly not be," he whispered.

Bella smiled up at him, her eyes sparkling in the summer sun.

"You're really kind of a sweetheart, did you know that?" she asked.

Edward smirked.

"It's a recent development," he replied. He leaned down and pressed one more, light kiss against her red, supple lips.

Edward pushed himself off of her body and then offered her a hand to help her sit up. He smirked to himself as she adjusted her shirt properly onto her body.

Bella got the food that she had prepared out of the cooler, and the two set about have a lovely picnic lunch.

"You look really pretty today, by the way," he said, after swallowing a bite of his gourmet sub.

Bella blushed, visible even on her nicely tanned skin. "Thanks handsome," she replied.

At one point during their lunch, the speedy couple in the canoe who had been trailing them paddled by their sand bar.

"Damn it," Bella muttered, trying not to narrow her eyes at them.

The two gave a nonchalant wave to Edward and Bella. Too nonchalant. Hell, Bella was convinced that woman was smirking as they passed by at a faster pace than they had previous been going.

"You're kinda cute when you're competitive," Edward commented.

Bella tried her best to narrow her eyes at him rather than smile.

"You better enjoy the rest of that sandwich because you're going to need the energy to catch up with them."

"Why do I get the feeling that you taking you bowling wouldn't be all that leisure of an activity?" Edward asked with an adorable grin.

Bella laughed. "Oh, I'd kick your ass in bowling."

Edward just shook his head and chuckled. "You're on, Swan."

Bella smiled in amusement and happiness. "Now that was a flawless transition of asking for a 2nd date."

"Well, I'm nothing if not flawless."

Bella rolled her eyes.

Sometime later, Edward went to pack the cooler away in the canoe when Bella's phone rang. She didn't recognize the number, but slid to unlock the screen anyway.

"Hello?"

Edward glanced back at her with a raised eyebrow, but Bella shrugged.

"Hello, Miss Swan?"

"Yes?"

"Hi, this is Margaret Rivers from Heller Law. You contacted my secretary last week about a living will of Taylor Daniels Cullen, correct?"

Bella immediately tensed up and glanced carefully over at Edward who had been unaware of her call.

"Yes, hi, that was me. Thanks for getting back to me."

"Is this a bad time?" Margaret presumed.

"Somewhat," Bella replied apologetically.

"That is not a problem. Would you like to come into my office and we will discuss the information I have for you? I will in all of this coming week."

"Yes, I'll be sure to get over there. Thank you so much for getting back to me."

"Of course. I look forward to meeting you Miss Swan."

Bella wanted to know more about Taylor's living will and what had caused her to create it, especially without her lawyer of a husband's help. So she had made some phone calls.

"Something about work?" Edward asked as he helped her off the ground and she slid her phone back in her pocket.

"Something like that," Bella replied.

The rest of the afternoon was the most fun Bella had had in a while. She absolutely loved just talking with Edward. He had so many insightful things to say and he was truly an incredible person inside and out. He was funny yet such an amazing listener that it almost shocked her.

Bella kept thinking back to Maggie Smith in London. They had been talking about Molly and Edward and Molly had asked her to describe Edward.

For the longest time, Bella had sat there and attempted to summarize the man who meant so much to her in words. It was a damn near impossible task. She tried to think of so many words, or phrases or anything, but only one thing came to mind over and over again, and it's what she found herself telling Maggie.

"He's a good guy."

That was the utmost bottom line. Edward was truly the definition of a good guy. It was the only way Bella could think of to encompass all of the many things that he was.

Much to Bella's delight, she and Edward paddled happily past the speedy couple who had stopped to eat lunch. She looked the other direction from them in order to hide her triumphant smirk while Edward rolled his eyes.

They reached the end of journey when they saw a sign, signaling where they along with their canoe would be picked up. Together, they managed to get the canoe out of the water and onto land.

When they were finished, Edward held out his hand.

Bella grinned and gave him a high five.

Edward surprised her by lacing his fingers through hers and then pulling her in against his chest for a tight hug in which she felt indescribably loved.

"Thank you for today," Bella said against his warm, hard chest.

Edward tilted her chin softly up to look at him with his finger. "You know, Bella? Thank you; thank beyond words. I never thought that I would be able to be as happy as I am now, and it's all because of you."

Bella smiled, trying not to tear up at his utterly sincere words.

"And this is only our first date," she grinned.

Edward smiled before leaning down and kissing her soft lips gently.

"And here's to many more."

* * *

_And time stands still beneath the air of waiting hours_  
_To touch, just to feel a love that seems to overpower me_  
_She's all I'll ever need_  
_And you know her love just hypnotizes me_  
_'Til All I see is beautiful_

_And all this time you're changing me to something better_  
_A love so high that everyday that we're together_  
_I will leave the world below_  
_Until your heart becomes the only thing I know_  
_All I know is-_

_Beautiful- like the summer rain to wash away the winter stain_  
_Beautiful- like the morning sun inviting the dawn to break_  
_Beautiful- like the joy that comes when the love you've longed for has just begun_  
_Beautiful- making everything brand new_  
_Beautiful you are._  
Beautiful, Trading Yesterday

* * *

AN: So there's their first date! Something special and unique which neither has done before...I think it was a good choice!

Sorry again for the late update, and I can tell you right now that next Sunday won't have an update, but the Sunday after will! School and sports are so close to over, just bear with me! Also, if anyone would be inclined to make a banner this story, you'd become one of my favorite people...(:

What'd you think of their progressing relationship? Bella's phone call? Edward teaching? Lack of Molly, Taylor or even Kessler in a chapter? Lemme know! (: and have a happy, relaxing Memorial Day for those of you in the states!


	36. Confirmations

Confirmations.

When he was confirmed in the church, he could have cared less. He was a teenage boy with an embarrassingly little interest in religion. It was only when he was older did he realize that his Confirmation was just the real acknowledgement of his faith.

Confirmations were needed in life, for clarity, security and validation.

It is doing something blindly for months and then having it confirmed that you were doing it right…those are the things human beings desperately need, whether they voice that need or not.

And he knew that the woman he cared about needed a confirmation in a big way, that all that she had been through over the years had been worth it.

~O~

_Shit_, Bella cursed to herself as saw what time it was on her computer monitor. She had to be upstairs in less than a minute to be on time to the weekly staff meeting which she conducted, and her phone was ringing.

In agitation, Bella grabbed at the phone on her desk.

"Bella Swan, speaking."

"Hey Bella, its Ronnie. How's it going in your neck of the woods?"

Bella smiled at the familiar voice. "Pretty good. What can I do for you, Ronnie? I'm running a bit short on time."

"I'll make it short then. I was just calling to congratulate you on yet another book hitting the Bestseller List," he said, and she could hear the smile in his voice.

Ronnie worked exclusively with the New York Times, and was always the one to let her know if one of their publishing's made the list.

"Which one?" she asked excitedly.

"Let me see…um, Elements: Camelus's Curse by Landon Olson has made its debut."

Bella beamed. "Thank you for letting me know!"

"It is not a problem! You will see it on the list by tomorrow."

"Awesome! Bye, Ronnie."

Bella hung up the phone and simply smiled to herself for a moment. She had been somewhat stressed all day, mostly due to what was ahead of her after work.

She was going to Heller Law immediately after leaving her office, to meet with Margaret about Taylor's will. Anxious wasn't even a suitable enough word to describe what she was feeling.

Also, she hadn't told Edward.

That perhaps was the crux of anxiety. She knew she should have mentioned it to him, and resolved to talk to him if anything of importance was discovered. But, she hadn't found a way to bring it up properly, and instead told him that she had a meeting at work that would later, thus having him pick up Molly.

One of Bella's most dubious skills was her ability to lie. She was not proud of this fact, and was a source of several regrets. But she could withhold the truth with ease along with a lack of scruples when doing so. Especially as a child she had hardly felt any guilt. But now was different.

Lying to Edward left her with a guilt that she was unable to shake. She felt physically ill with him not knowing the truth, but still couldn't bring it up. Eventually, though.

Eager to share the news she had just received, Bella rushed up to the floor above hers where her employees were waiting in the conference room.

"There's the boss lady!" Angie teased as she slipped in the room where everyone was already gathered. "About time," she said with a wink.

Bella rolled her eyes.

Landon was quickly located in her gaze as she sat down her materials. She gave him a mischievous grin to which he raised an eyebrow at.

"I was late because I was just on the phone with Ronnie Howard."

Excited murmur filled the room at her announcement, as all of them knew who he was.

"Would you all join me in congratulating Landon on his first of many appearances on the bestseller list?"

Cheers erupted in the conference room as Bella's ex-boyfriend became the center of celebration. People patted his shoulders and gave him hugs at the news. Bella watched with a smile. And no regret.

Landon was awesome. He was a nice guy and very talented. But he wasn't for Bella. And both of them knew that in their hearts and neither thought any ill will towards the other.

As things started to calm back down, Landon surprised Bella by going over to her and giving her a tight hug.

"I couldn't have done it without you, ma'am."

Bella grinned at his deliberate word choice.

"You probably could have. I'm just nosy," she said, recalling how she had come to find his manuscript a year ago.

He laughed. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

Bella smiled half-heartedly before Landon returned to where he had been sitting.

She was really hoping her nosiness and secretively in other matters wouldn't be a bad thing or cause her problems…especially in her new relationship.

~O~

Bella's leg wouldn't stop tapping as she sat in the lobby of Heller Law. She hadn't been sitting for hardly three minutes, and yet, the wait felt like eternity.

She wasn't sure what she was hoping to find in talking to this attorney. But she felt there was something she needed to know that she hadn't quite discovered yet.

"Miss Swan, I presume?"

Bella looked up from where she had been staring at the floor. The woman in front of her had to be in her late 50's, and was wearing a very nice pant suit. She gave Bella a warm smile as the latter nodded.

She offered Bella her hand. "Margaret Rivers. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"You as well. Please call me Bella," she said.

Margaret nodded. "Bella then. Shall we go back to my office?"

Bella followed the attorney through a maze of hallways before they reached a beautifully furnished office which was inviting yet elegant. Margaret offered Bella the chair facing her desk before going to the other side of it.

"Let me begin by expressing my deepest condolences for the loss of your friend, even a year later." Bella nodded, biting her lip. "I attended the funeral; your eulogy was quite beautiful."

"Thank you," Bella replied shortly. She had no wish to remember Taylor's death and the dark weeks that had followed. She preferred to think of the life she had lived before her demise.

Margaret straightened a few papers on her desk before speaking. "Taylor left a letter for you, in the event of her death."

Bella's eyes widened and she nearly shot out of her chair. "What?" she asked, barely managing to keep her voice level.

Margaret pulled out a piece of paper and offered it to her.

"Shouldn't I have seen this far before now?" Bella demanded, grabbing the letter.

Margaret smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry, dear. It was Taylor's wish that the letter be presented to you only if you searched for it."

Bella fought the urge to roll her eyes; whether at Taylor or Margaret, she couldn't say.

Margaret stood from behind her desk. "I will give you a moment of privacy to read it."

Bella listened until the door to the office clicked shut. Then and only then did she allow her shaky hands to raise the letter into view to read.

_Dear Bella,_

_ If you are reading this, I am so very sorry. This letter is not meant to be seen unless I am no longer on this earth._

_ I have struggled for a few days to find the words to write. I knew I had to leave you something, especially after what I put in my living will. I hope that particular document will never need to be used, but in life, you never know. So I am writing this in the hopes you never read this, as I plan on outliving you._

_ Don't roll your eyes at me._

_ I decided to write a will after reading a newspaper article a couple weeks ago. An entire family fell apart without a directive in case of a sudden death; the father was a mess and the grandparents wanted custody of their kids and then there was a war over the house and cats and everything…and all of this crap that will not be happening because of something stupid like me dying._

_ In my will, you were asked to move into the house I live in with Edward and Molly, and help them. Because they will so need it if I'm gone. I asked this of you, because I know it would be you who can get through to Edward. (Please forgive my jumping of past and present tenses, because I'm finding this weird to write, though necessary.)_

_ You and Edward are more alike than I think the two of you have realized. If I am gone, I think only the two people that loved me the most will be able to heal each other. I worry what will happen if I am gone, but I know I have an incredibly capable best friend who would have things under control. _

_ When Molly was born, you promised me you would always be there for her. If you're reading this…please look after my baby girl, Bella. She's going to need a mom if I'm gone. Someone to paint her nails, and read Little House on the Prairie with, someone for her to awkwardly go to when she gets her period and get her through the teen years, someone to take pictures of her at prom and cry when she graduates high school. If I can't do that, I need you to Bella. _

_ I feel so silly writing this as I'm not terminally ill or planning on engaging in life threatening activities, but I need to know things will be alright if I'm gone, and this is giving me a peace for my wildly paranoid mind. _

_ If I'm gone, I want you to go on with your life. You only get to seriously mourn me for like a month…two tops, because hey, I'm pretty awesome. But please, get on with your life. Do what you have to to make yourself happy. Don't revert back to the teenage years where you hated people (not that that wasn't justifiable.) Live life, and please make sure Edward and Molly do the same._

_ For six months that you have or are staying at the house, I want you to show Edward the love I have shown you. He will need it and so will you._

_ Please know that I love you, Bella, you and Edward. And please never let Molly forget how much I love that little girl._

_ Catch you on the flip side,_

_ Tay_

_P.S. Also, let Edward know that he's allowed to live life after me as well. If he dates again, please make sure that I would at the very least like her! Don't let bitches around my daughter. Gracias! _

By the time Bella had finished reading the letter, a few tears had escaped her eyes. "Catch you on the flip side." She rolled her watery eyes. How incredibly like Taylor to end with something so blasé. Also, the last word of the letter was as random as Taylor, as Lord knew that girl didn't know more than three words of Spanish.

There wasn't anything utterly life changing in the letter, but it felt so damn good to hear from Taylor. The words on the paper in front of her had filled a large hole in her heart which she had mastered hiding.

On the other hand, Bella felt validated. She had been doing her best those first few months with Edward and Molly, but had been terrified. To know that she had been doing exactly what Taylor truly wanted was gratifying and liberating.

Bella could only infer that this letter had only been written to see if Bella needed it.

It had always been there, Bella had just needed to use logic. The fact that she hadn't made a will through Watson Cullen Law should have immediately alerted her there was something.

And she had needed it.

She read over the letter once more as she wiped at the couple of tears in the corners of her eyes. Oh, Taylor.

There was a soft knock on the office door which caused Bella to turn in her seat. Margaret hesitantly popped her head around the door and assessed Bella's emotional stability. When she found this at admirable level, she entered her office and returned to sit behind her desk.

"Does this help you?" she asked softly.

Bella gave her a watery grin and nodded.

"I wished to give this to you immediately after I had heard of Ms. Daniel's death, but it would have been against her wishes to do so. I'm very sorry."

"Why did she go to you to do her will?" Bella asked. "Her husband, brother-in-law and father-in-law were all attorneys."

Margaret pursed her lips and gave the tiniest of shrugs.

"She didn't want to worry him. She told me her husband would be easily upset by her planning a will, separate than the one they had jointly."

Bella had been aware that there had been a will written in the event of both Edward and Taylor's death, but had been void with the survival of Edward.

"That's it?" she wondered.

The attorney replied, "Taylor wanted to make sure her family was taken care of in a way she knew would be effective. She worried, I believe, that her husband would have a different plan, or objections to the one she laid out. And so to my understanding she did not mention it, in the hopes that it would never have to be used."

Bella nodded, as the question to why no one knew about the will was finally answered.

"She was just protecting him from even thinking the worst."

"Taylor was a very capable young woman if I remember correctly," Margaret replied.

Bella's lips quirked up. "Indeed she was."

_The little shit had everyone's lives planned out, even from the grave. _Bella shook her head to herself in fondness of her late best friend.

It was the last few lines of the paper that really struck Bella the most. "If he dates again, please make sure that I would at the very least like her!"

_Well Taylor,_ Bella thought to herself, with no small amount of irony_, I'm pretty sure you'd love her._

~O~

"Did she leave anything for Edward?" Bella asked a couples minutes later.

Margaret shook her head, regret seeming to cloud her face. "Just a beautiful daughter."

"Maybe…maybe that's enough," Bella said, more to herself than anyone else.

"Did you know a high school tennis team dedicated their season to Taylor? From what I heard, they did quite well on top of that."

Bella gave her a half smile.

"Yeah," she replied, "I had heard something about that."

"What a lovely thing to do!" Margaret commented.

Bella's phone buzzed, preventing her from replying. She held up a finger apologetically to Margaret as she answered the phone, seeing that it was Edward. Margaret gestured for her to proceed and turned to her computer to give Bella the illusion of privacy.

"Hey, what's up?" she said.

"Bella," Edward said in a panicked voice, "Are you still at work?"

"I'm about to head home, why? Is everything okay?"

"I'm taking Molly to the ER," he told her in a strained voice.

Bella was immediately out of her seat and beginning to gather her things that she had set down.

"I'll leave right now. I can be there in 20 minutes. What happened?" she asked worriedly.

"We were outside and somehow a bee found Molly and she got stung. But she has a rash, and it's swollen and now she's having trouble breathing." As he spoke, he grew more and more frantic.

In the background of Edward's side, Bella could hear soft whimpers from the small toddler as Edward buckled her into her car seat, she presumed.

"I'll meet you at the hospital. It'll be alright, babe," she assured him, her heart clenching.

"Okay," he said before she heard the dial tone.

Bella wasted no time in excusing herself from Margaret's offices and thanking her distractedly for the letter and information. She exited the building and quickly made it to her truck before beginning a drive relatively short in length, yet longer than she could want.

She made it to the very same hospital that Taylor had been brought to after the accident. Her heart felt heavy as she navigated down the same path she had on the night of the accident. It took a lot of will to be able to keep walking down the hallways which she was so familiar with.

It didn't take her too long to go through security and get a pass into the Emergency Room, as Edward had left her name on a list to be admitted in. By the time she was cleared, she was nearly running to find her Molly's room.

When she found the right room, she very nearly collided with Edward who was slipping out of the room to go and search for her.

Before Bella could open her mouth and ask how Molly was doing, or even how he was doing, he pulled her tightly in his arms.

"I'm so glad you're here," he breathed against her hair, where he had nuzzled his face.

Bella gave him a tight squeeze before loosening her hold on him and giving him a moment to do the same. When he did, Bella put her hands on his cheeks and pulled him down for a soft kiss.

"Can I see her?" Bella whispered once they had moved their heads apart.

Edward seemed surprised that she would even ask. "Of course. The nurse is trying to get her leave the oxygen mask on to help with her breathing flow, but it's only making her more upset."

Bella's chest clenched for what she would see and hear inside the room.

The moment the door slid open, she heard cries so strong and so pained that her knees weakened. Molly was sitting on a hospital bed far too big for her, with the railings up on each side. A nurse was struggling to soothe her and keep the oxygen mask on her face as Molly twisted and turned against it, her face red with tears as she screamed.

Bella rushed to her.

"Perhaps she'll calm down for you," the nurse said, upon seeing Bella.

"Oh, honey bunch," Bella cried, immediately sitting down on the bed to scoop her gently in her arms. "It's okay, baby."

"Mama!" Molly cried out through her tears.

Bella tightened her hold around the toddler and rocked her slightly. "Shh, it's alright baby girl, Mama's here. You're okay, Mama's here."

Edward watched the two girls in his life in a mixture of awe and sorrow. He'd never seen his daughter in so much pain, even after receiving shots. It broke his heart that he hadn't been able to calm her down and that she was so upset. He was powerless to take the pain away from his baby girl.

Bella, however, left him in wonder. He watched as she rocked Molly softly, keeping her cradled in a hug as she whispered soothing words of comfort and hushed her cries. Miraculously, Molly began to stop twisting and pulling at the mask which was over her mouth and nose and rested her head against Bella's shoulder in resignation and yet comfort.

After minutes of continued rocking, the quiet occupants in the room watched as Molly's eyes fluttered closed.

A doctor came into the room and nodded in relief at the sight that greeted him. "She most likely will not be asleep for long, but by then, hopefully she will be able to breathe better, what with the medication we gave her."

Edward sat down on the hospital bed next to Bella and wrapped one of his arms around her shoulders, the other curling around Molly as best as he could. "I just need to check her arm and see how the swelling is coming along," he explained.

Bella grimaced as she watched the doctor gingerly lift Molly's arm to examine. Where she had been stung, it was red and harshly swollen, with a rash of some sorts surrounding the arm. She bit her tongue to try and contain her emotion upon seeing it.

"It has gone down, so that's a good sign." Bella couldn't even comprehend that it had been worse. Edward kissed her temple gently, having seen her reaction.

"We'll keep an eye on the rash," he continued, "but I fully expect it to diminish as well."

"Will she have to stay the night?" Edward asked in concern and a pain that Bella felt all too clearly.

Bella leaned closer into him to show a quiet, yet heartfelt support. The slight squeeze around her shoulders told her it was not unnoticed.

"We have a few more hours before we'll have to decide. It'll depend if she can get her breathing under control," Dr. Rodgers, as it read on his name tag, said.

Bella leaned to place a kiss on Molly's soft head.

"She will. She's fighter."

Dr. Rodgers smiled at the display. "That is my wish."

"We haven't officially met. I'm Dr. Rodgers, the doctor on call tonight." Bella gave him a smile in lieu of a handshake. "And you are?"

Edward spoke before she could formulate a reply. He spoke with utmost certainty and said something that had never been certainly acknowledged yet was truthful beyond reason.

"She is Molly's mother."

* * *

_I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,_  
_All the ones who love you, in the place you left,_  
_I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,_  
_And you help somebody every chance you get,_  
_Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,_  
_And you always give more than you take._

_But more than anything, more than anything,_  
_My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,_  
_Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,_  
_You never need to carry more than you can hold,_  
_And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,_  
_I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,_  
_Yeah, this, is my wish._  
My Wish, Rascal Flatts

* * *

**AN:** So there it is! Was Taylor trying to set up Edward and Bella? Not necessarily. Would she be upset with it? no, I don't think so. She wanted her kid and husband happy, whatever that means!

We'll get to Bella withholding the information from Edward soon, but try not to be too upset! And I don't think Molly's ER room is the best place for the information, either. Stay tuned!

Is Bella being really stupid? Or is she not under obligations to show Edward the letter? Did picturing Molly break your heart? Are you excited for their huge date night next chapter? Lemme know! (:


	37. Love

Love.

It's a concept which fills fairy tales.

It is taught to young babies usually just within minutes of their birth, when their parents hold them for the first time.

It's found in nursing homes, where the young hold the hands of the old, clutching the wrinkled palms tightly.

And it's between two people. And sometimes, if you're lucky, you find the real deal. The kind of love which takes your breath away and leaves you wondering how you've been living life without it.

He'd found that.

* * *

Six weeks had passed since the bee had stung Molly and caused an allergic reaction, which fortunately was not severe as far as reactions go. Six weeks had also passed since Bella had gotten the letter from Taylor, through Margaret Rivers. Six weeks had passed in which Bella had been unable to find a way to tell Edward about the letter.

But, six weeks had also passed in a whirling courtship that left both Bella and Edward breathless.

Edward had positively doted on her. He had taken her to dinners, movies, a concert, a baseball game, the mall, along with a sculpture garden where they had picnicked. They had brought Molly with on some dates as well, going to the zoo and a children's science museum.

Bella had never felt so happy.

The letter from Taylor, had in many ways freed her. She no longer felt conflicted or guilty about dating her late best friend's husband. Taylor had said to make sure they both lived their lives to the fullest as well as encouraging Edward to move on specifically.

To do what it took to make them happy.

Bella had learned more and more with each passing day; mainly there were few things as important in life as family, friends, faith and fun. All four of those things had laid a foundation for the life she was living now.

Edward on his part was equally as happy. Dating Bella was so different than anything he had ever done. He had lived with her for over a year, and she still found ways to surprise him. He loved spending time with her and only fell more in love with her as the days went by.

Talking with the tennis coach, Kessler, had really helped Edward in a way that no else could have. Kessler had helped him truly understand that he was not choosing Bella over Taylor in any way. It was a different situation. Bella wasn't a 2nd choice. She was his girlfriend, and the woman he focused so much of his attentions on.

Taylor had left this world, and Edward hadn't. That was the thing that once he had fully grasped and accepted, allowed him to life.

It was almost an obligation to live his life in a way in which he found joy and peace.

He missed her, but in order for him to carry on, he had to let go of hypothetical situations and rhetorical questions, ones such as: "If Taylor was alive, who would you pick?" or "If it was in your power to bring back Taylor, would you? Even with Bella and everything you have now?"

No one had asked him these questions except for his own mind. But you know what? He didn't have to have an answer, because they would not happen. Why should he deny himself happiness for fickle thoughts and questions?

Why should he deny himself a love he never thought he would find?

He wouldn't.

Couldn't.

So, he was adjusting his life to keeping that love; to holding on tight and never letting go.

"Gee, Bella, I think you could have picked a bigger bed," Jasper huffed.

The three men struggled to move the giant four poster bed to the right spot in Edward's bedroom. Bella wanted it more in the center of the room and that was proving difficult, as it was heavy as stone.

"But doesn't it look good?" Bella replied, biting her lip and crossing her arms as she stared at the placement.

"Gorgeous," Emmett replied dryly.

Edward sighed as he dropped onto the mattress. "In hindsight, I probably should have put a weight limit when I told her to pick out whatever bed she wanted."

"Oh hindsight, thou art a fickle bitch."

Edward rolled his eyes at Jasper.

"Maybe you guys should go to the gym more," Alice teased, "Me and Bella could have had that done in half the time."

Emmett glared. "Shut it, Tiny."

Alice grinned at him. "Thank you for helping move the bed to our house, Emmett."

Edward had decided a few weeks ago that he didn't want the same furniture in his bedroom that had been in there while he was married to Taylor. He needed a new start in that aspect.

Also, with the way his relationship with Bella was progressing, he was mildly concerned about the repercussions of such activities on a bed he had shared with his late wife. Both of them deserved better.

"Yeah, yeah, you're welcome," Emmett grumbled, "Though I still don't know how I got roped in to your little bedroom swap."

"The masculine urge to lift heavy shit for a small amount of time before drinking beer and watching TV for the rest of the afternoon," Bella replied.

"Well…yeah, I guess," Emmett said, seemingly surprised by her accurate conclusion.

She just smirked.

Alice and Jasper had just recently purchased a house together. They had been planning to wait until they were married before moving in a house, but they had found one they had absolutely adored. It was only about five minutes away from where they each worked, had a large yard and was gorgeous.

Since Edward and Taylor had spent good money when they had purchased their bedroom set, and it seemed like a waste to just get rid of it. So Jasper and Alice had taken it, though replaced the mattress with a nice foam one.

"Where's my woman?" Emmett asked as he began to make his way out of the bedroom.

"Still outside with Molly," Alice replied. Rose's pregnancy had not only made her unable to lift heavy things, but also left her with a hormonal urge to cuddle small children and animals to her bosom.

"Well, I think it's about time we crack open those beers," Jasper suggested, following him.

"We'll be right behind you," Edward called as the three left the room. Bella began to unfold the new sheets she had bought to match the color of the newly painted room.

Once they were alone, he went to stand behind her and wrapped his arms around her little waist. He nuzzled the side of her face with his nose as she looked at the room.

"Are you sure you like the green?" Bella worried. The previously white and navy walls were now ivory and olive.

"I love the green," he assured her, kissing the side of her cheek.

Bella smiled and leaned against him, allowing herself to melt in his arms.

"What about the bed?" she asked in concern. "I mean, I know it's kinda big, but I've always wanted a four poster bed…a side effect from having read so many Tudor age novels when I was younger. If you don't like it though, I mean, we can still-"

Edward's chuckle cut her rambling off. She felt his laughter against her.

"I love it, babe. This whole room looks great."

"Would you tell me if it didn't?" she wondered.

"No, probably not," he replied honestly, "But I don't see that being a problem what with your exquisite taste."

She smirked.

"Exquisite, huh?"

Bella turned her face towards him to see his grin.

"Exquisite," he agreed, leaning to capture her lips with his.

"Stop distracting me," Bella said after a moment. "We have to get the bed made."

Edward pouted.

She kissed that pout.

Edward regrettably unwound his arms from around her and helped her begin to make the bed. The sheets were nice and silky and Bella already longed for how it would feel against her legs.

"You really won't tell me where we're going tonight?" Bella asked as they worked to put the pillows in their cases.

Edward smirked. "I really won't."

He was taking her a date that night, while Molly was babysat by her favorite godfather and aunt. Edward had yet to tell Bella a single detail of the affair, opting to leave it a complete secret.

"A hint?"

"You'll love it," he promised.

Bella rolled her eyes.

"That's hardly helpful. I love just being with you, anywhere."

Edward raised an eyebrow with a grin.

"You're so unhelpful," she sighed. "What am I supposed to even wear?"

"Alice and Rose know what will be happening this evening. They'll help you get dressed after your spa trip," he promised.

Bella huffed, but a grin made its way onto her lips regardless. She was excited for the evening, and seeing Edward so happy and secretive only left her more eager.

"Speaking of that spa trip," Edward said, checking his watch, "You guys should probably get going soon."

"And what will you guys be doing well we do our girly shit?" she asked.

Edward puffed out his chest. "Manly shit!" he exclaimed, sending her to a fit of giggles.

They threw the pillows onto the bed before stopping to admire their handiwork. "It looks good," Bella concluded.

Edward hugged her to his side, her arm automatically wrapping around his waist.

"I believe I said exquisite," he reminded.

Bella smiled and looked up at him, as he had nearly a foot on her, height wise.

Edward leaned down and kissed the smile on her lips, unable to resist.

A little bit later, Molly was happily settled on Emmett's lap. They were sitting next to Jasper, who had Simba on his lap. The two men were eating up everything the little girl said. She babbled joyfully about her Simba.

Edward saw the three ladies out the front door. He gave Bella a savoring kiss before she walked out the door. When she was about exit the house, Edward pulled a single rose from behind his back and handed it to her. There was a little white card attached to the stem that she looked at questioningly.

"You'll see," he promised with a wink before closing the door.

Bella stood on the front porch of the house in confusion. She looked down at the beautiful rose and squinted to see what was written in Edward's distinguished handwriting.

_Your smile lights up an entire room._

Bella's eyebrows furrowed together, but smiled regardless. He'd explain eventually.

"We're taking your truck, right Bella?"

Bella looked over at the driveway to where Rosalie and Alice were standing by her cherry red truck.

"Sure!" With the rose in hand, Bella walked over to join them.

When she got settled in the driver's seat, she noticed there was a rose tucked above her, in between the sun visor and roof. Bella shook her head with a smile and gently grabbed it, seeing another little white card.

_The cup of tea you have every night before bed makes you the most adorable person in the world to me._

She read the note with the joy of a giddy school girl.

When she had scanned it twice, unable to stop the smile on her face, she noticed Alice and Rose were suspiciously quiet.

"What do you two know about this?" she asked accusingly.

Alice quirked her lips while Rose shrugged. "Nothing at all," she lied. "Is that a rose?"

Bella rolled her eyes before putting the key in the ignition.

She set the second rose next to the first.

They arrived at the spa, eager for an afternoon of pampering. They signed in and got various things situation before being taken back to a very elegant locker room of sorts, where they were given divine, fluffy robes to put on.

Rose was off for her prenatal massage first, followed by Alice with a rather beastly looking woman masseuse. Bella was the last to be ushered back in a room for her massage. She waited somewhat nervously to see who her masseuse would be.

The man that came in left Bella with a sigh of relief. She had been worried about getting an attractive guy. The man in front of her, Eli, was homely at best, but had a kind and reassuring smile.

Bella raised an eyebrow at the rose he handed her, one with a little white card.

_You are the funniest person I've ever met._

"I don't suppose you'll tell me anything about this, huh?" Bella asked with a grin.

The masseuse merely winked in response, his eyes twinkling.

Bella's massage was heavenly. She hadn't been to a spa in years, as she was perfectly competent at painting her own toenails and fingernails, and rarely found time to get a massage. Eli got knots out of her back that she didn't even know she had, and left her feeling for relaxed than she could ever remember being.

When the massage was over, she met back up with Alice and Rose who were looking as jellified as she was. They were settled in large, comfy chairs and had their feet soaking in large tubs of warm water. Bella joined them with no qualms.

Three women came out to join them shortly after, their nail stylists. Bella was hardly surprised that one was holding a rose and handed it to her with a grin.

_You are not only incredibly smart, but brilliant and wise beyond your years._

Bella smiled, but then glanced over at her friend and sister, still suspicious. "Is it just 'Boost Bella's Ego Day'?"

Alice smirked and settled into her chair. "Something like that."

They continued to chat on as they got their pedicures. Bella had stopped asking about her upcoming date, but they hadn't stop their little exchanges of grins.

As their toenails began to get their finishing touches, a server brought out three fruity, slightly alcoholic drinks to each of them. He also had a rose in his hand. He handed it to her along with her cocktail, as the overhead music changed into a familiar song.

Rose started humming along as the opening strands of "Brown Eyed Girl," began to play.

Bella read her 5th rose.

_Your eyes are such a beautiful color, especially in the sun, that it gives me a weird sense of hope and purpose; you're my Brown Eyed Girl._

Bella was more excited than ever for her date. She was practically bouncing up and down for the entire duration of her manicure.

She needed to see that damn man that she loved.

Rosalie and Alice sensed, if not anticipated her eagerness, and made no move to leave the spa slowly. Edward had enlisted their help to make sure Bella had a perfect evening.

With her now five roses in hand, Bella entered the house a couple hours after they had left. It was empty, as the guys had gone to Emmett and Rose's house. Edward would meet her at where they were spending their evening. She wasn't really sure how she was getting there…nor was she sure where "there" was.

It didn't take Bella long for her gaze to settle on yet another rose. This was one was laid on the lap of a teddy bear that she had long ago got Molly. She walked over to the living room to pick it up and read the card.

_You treat Molly as if she were your own. Thank you._

Bella very nearly became teary eyed with those words. However, Rosalie and Alice hardly allowed her time, as they insisted that she had to start getting ready.

The three of them entered Bella's bedroom, technically the guest bedroom, but hardly. Bella had not slept in the same bed as Edward for the past few months, as each of them needed to become independent in their slumbering habits before they could turn to each other. Plus, it was far too tempting.

But Edward hadn't just let Bella pick a bed because he didn't want to; he had her pick it out because he hoped she would be spending a lot of time there in the future, and not in a sleeping capacity.

Bella noticed another rose on the nightstand next to her bed. It was placed over her opened glasses.

_When you wear your glasses, I swear my heart melts._

That damn man, indeed.

"We have concluded that this is the dress you must wear," Alice announced, drawing her attention back over to her closet. She was holding up a light grey dress, strapless with a sweetheart neckline. It went down mid-thigh, and the fabric was chiffon. It was relatively simple, but one of the favorite dresses she owned.

"And this is appropriate to wear in whatever situation I'll be in?" Bella questioned, as she had no qualms with the dress in itself.

Alice pretended to look hurt. "Bella! Have we ever led you astray?"

Bella's response was a single eyebrow raised pointedly.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Go get your pair of champagne colored heels."

Bella was hardly at the position to do anything but comply. She kept her overflow of shoes in Edward's closet, since he had much more room than she did in that aspect.

"I'll go get them," she conceded.

At that point, she had expected to find a rose. There was a single one resting in the middle of the newly made bed. She leaned over and picked it up, reading the card.

_You held me when no one else knew I needed to be held._

She heard Alice's call from the other bedroom, "Well you're at it, go shower!"

Bella clutched that rose closer to her, because those words made her heart flutter. Oh Edward.

She did as she was told and showered. She shaved her legs, all the way up to her thighs, and took extra care to make sure her underarms were smooth as well. She shampooed and conditioned at her leisure before doing a final rinse and stepping out of the shower.

Bella was about to clear a circle in the steamed up mirror before she noticed that there were words written on the mirror, as well as a rose. It was placed on the bathroom counter, where her gaze had not noticed before stepping in the shower. This rose had no note, so she looked at the words on the mirror, Edward's handwriting visible.

_YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL._

Bella picked up the rose and sniffed it, allowing its delicate aroma to overwhelm her senses. What a sweet, amazing man. By her count, that was the 9th rose, and if Edward was going with the classic dozen, there were three flowers that remained.

Her heart pounded in her chest at the thought.

Despite her desire to rush, Bella took her time getting ready. She blow dried her hair before letting Rosalie do whatever the hell she wanted with it. She did her makeup while Rose curled and pinned, and Alice searched for a necklace that would match the champagne pumps.

Bella had never felt so doted on, or special in her life. She felt beautiful and cherished by a man who hadn't spoken a word aloud to her in hours. She felt loved beyond words or reason.

"Alright, get on the dress, slip on the shoes and you should be ready to go, sista!" Rose announced, throwing her heads in the hair as she finished with the brunette's hair.

Bella smiled at her reflection. Rose had softly curled her hair and pulled the front strands to the back in a waterfall braid. "Thanks guys," she said sincerely.

They both smiled before Alice made a hustling motion. "Get going! Your ride will be here soon!"

Knowing better than to question, Bella did as told.

The answer to her question was presented a half hour later when a sleek black car pulled in to the driveway, and a sharply dressed man got out of the driver's seat with a rose in hand.

"He hired a car service?" Bella asked with wide eyes.

Alice raised her eyebrows. "This surprises you…how?"

"Fair enough."

Upon their encouragement, Bella slipped out the front door, her heels clicking on the wooden porch and then down the few stairs as she walked to the car. The driver smiled, but said few words as he handed her a rose and then opened the backseat door for her.

The driver got settled into the luxurious car as Bella got comfortable in the back seat, her heart fluttering as she read the newest card.

_You are patient, kind and gentle as a lamb, even if you don't always see it._

Bella watched with avid interest as the sun began its descent down the sky while the car traveled smoothly towards the big cities. Bella wasn't sure what part of the Twin Cities they were going to, but she was eager to find out, and even more eager to see Edward.

They got deep into the city of St. Paul before the driver began to slow the car down. Bella recognized the tall building they were pulled in front of, knowing it was a hotel as well as high end restaurant. The driver got out of his seat and rushed to open the door for Bella.

"Thank you," she said as he helped her out.

He smiled. "You're welcome. Enjoy your evening, ma'am."

Bella was about to take out her phone and text Edward, wondering what she was supposed to do, when an elderly doorman appeared in front of her with a rose.

"You must be Ms. Swan," he said with a smile. When she nodded her offered her the rose. "Allow me to escort you up to your fella," he offered her his elbow.

Bella slipped her hand into the crook of his arm as he led her in the doors and through the lobby, over to the elevators. She didn't notice what button he pressed once the doors had shut, as she was reading the 11th rose.

_You made me believe in love again._

The elevator dinged, making Bella look up from the note. The doorman gestured with his hand to proceed out, and that's when Bella's eyes widened as she felt the summer night's air.

She had stepped into a whole new world.

In front of her was the city skyline, a beautiful sunset painted around the darkened buildings. Twinkling lights formed a barrier around the room, giving the space a magical quality. But her eyes soon focused to the most beautiful sight of all.

In front of her, standing in the middle of the beautiful decorated roof top, was her Edward. He was smiling the crooked grin she adored, and was dressed in devastatingly handsome manner, wearing a light grey suit with a black tie.

In his hands was a rose.

Bella felt her eyes water as she looked at the man who meant everything to her, even in an impossible way. Yes, she realized inexplicably, I really do love him.

"Hi," she whispered, walking slowly to him.

"Hey there," he whispered back, his lips still crooked upwards.

Bella lost all words when they got close enough to one another for him to hand her the final rose.

_When we kiss…I just know. _

A tear managed to wiggle its way out of the corner of her eye as she read his words, while he watched her, his heart nearly bursting.

"Oh, Edward," she gasped softly, lifting her eyes up to his.

Before he could say words, she lifted her mouth up to his in a kiss she had been needing to give since the first flower.

"You know what those cards were, right?" Edward whispered after they had broken apart and he had rested his forehead against hers.

Bella lifted her gaze to meet his, and Edward saw her twinkling eyes as she shook her head, knowing she was going to make him say it.

He was perfectly willing to oblige.

"Those cards were all of the reasons that you have stolen my heart. I love you, Bella."

Bella felt her heart nearly burst out of her chest.

"I love you beyond word, beyond doubt and beyond reason. I love you in the way that you deserved to be loved, and I cherish every day I've spent with you."

Before Edward could say anything else, he felt her fly into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck as if he were a lifeline that she was unable to let go of.

She mumbled something into his neck that he didn't quite understand.

"What was that, beautiful?" he whispered, hugging her against him.

Bella pulled away from his neck so that she could meet the gaze of the beautiful green eyes that she so loved. She met his questioning stare with a brilliant smile of her own.

"I said, I love you too," she ran her fingers through his hair as she shook her head with a smile, "I love you, you incredible man."

She kissed his cheek, letting her lips linger against his freshly shaven face. "You didn't have to do all this just to tell me."

Edward looked her in the eyes with a serious gaze.

"Yes, I did. I want…no, I need you to know that you are special, and cherished and completely loved, Bella."

As they gazed at each other in utter love and adoration, each of them knew. She knew that it would never be a competition between her and her best friend in his eyes; she was his in a way that he had been hers. And he knew that nothing, earthly or not, could ever diminish the love he felt for the woman in his arms.

"You made me realize that magic is real," she said quietly.

"What?" he whispered, not following her.

"It's one of the many reasons that you have snatched my heart away irrevocably."

"Don't worry," he smiled, "I'll keep it safe."

"I know."

* * *

We watch the season pull up its own stakes

And catch the last weekend of the last week

Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced,

Another sun soaked season fades away

And from the ballroom floor we are in celebration

One good stretch before our hibernation

Our dreams assured and we all, will sleep well

I watch you spin around in your highest heels

You are the best one, of the best ones

We all look like we feel

You have stolen my

You have stolen my heart.

Stolen, Dashboard Confessional

* * *

**AN**: Excuse me, my heart just melted. It has been a bit of ride to get here, and we still have some to go, but I just adore writing these guys.

Speaking of writing guys, I'd also like to invite anyone who hasn't read my recent one-shot to do so! It's called **_Outside Agency_**, and you can find golferward on my profile!

Lemme know what you thought about this! :)


	38. Gifts

Gifts.

Some people would call them presents and immediately think of them as things one received on holidays and other special occasions.

But he saw gifts as so much more.

Looking around his life, he was able to recognize all of the many wonderful gifts he had.

The gift of life, the gift of his daughter, family, good health, a good job...and, perhaps the biggest gift of all.

Her.

~O~

"Mama!"

Bella felt a weight plop down on her side, where she was lying in her bed. When she did not move fast enough, she felt a little hand tap her side, "Mama!"

"Shh, baby girl, we weren't going to wake Mama up!" Edward whispered to his daughter.

Molly was quiet for a moment before asking in a loud whisper, "Aw' you awake Mama?"

"Molly!"

Bella rolled onto her back, moving her face away from the pillow she had had it burrowed in.

"Morning," she said, blinking the sleep out of her eyes and seeing an adorable toddler and a very handsome man looking down at her.

Edward leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Happy birthday," he said quietly, his eyes twinkling.

Bella grinned sleepily. "Thank you. How old am I again?"

"Younger than me," he smirked.

"Fair enough," she said before letting out a large yawn.

Edward looked reproachfully at his oblivious child. "See Molly, Mama loves her sleep; which is why we were going to let her sleep in on her birthday."

Molly smiled brightly at Bella. "Happy birfday!"

Bella smiled and lifted her hand in order to run her fingers through the girl's soft hair. "Thank you, honey bunch."

"I go get Simba!" Molly exclaimed, turning and sliding down from the bed. She ran out of the room before either adult could object.

Once she had left the room, Edward looked back down at Bella, meeting her gaze and sharing a smile.

"That kid will be the death of both of us," he said, shaking his head.

"Trust me," Bella grinned, "I'm fully aware."

"Okay," Edward said, "About tonight, since it's your day, I'm going to let you have a say in what we do."

"You're actually going to tell me what we're doing on a date?" Bella asked in surprise with just a twinge of sarcasm. Edward was incredibly fond of surprising his girlfriend and not telling her things beforehand.

Edward smirked, "I'm feeling generous, but no, not telling per say."

"Then what say do I have?" she asked.

"Well, there are several options for the evening: one involves a lake, one involves a very nice restaurant, and the other involves a zoo."

"Do I get to ride an elephant in the zoo option?" Bella wondered.

"Probably not."

"Damn…"

Edward looked at his girlfriend with raised eyebrows.

Bella shrugged. "Eh, what the hell, let's go with the zoo."

He laughed and leaned in to kiss her. Bella met his lips but kept hers closed, knowing perfectly how dreadful her morning breath was.

Once they had broken apart, Bella propped herself more into a sitting position as Edward reached for a Starbucks cup he had set on the dresser a few moments ago.

"I would have done a breakfast in bed type of thing for you, but since your parents are taking you to eat, I settled for a fabulous latte," he said, handing her the warm cup.

"Bless you," Bella muttered, taking the cup into her hands with a reverence that made him chuckle.

"Speaking of the Swans, Alice will be here in about an hour," he reminded.

Bella yawned loudly as she nodded.

Edward surprised her then by going and wrapping his arms tightly around her, pulling her snuggly against his chest. He held her there for just a moment and gave her a quick squeeze before releasing her.

It was little things like that that continued to take away Bella's breath. Edward was such a compassionate person, and he tried his hardest constantly to make sure Bella knew how cherished she was.

"I love you," she said with a sleepy smile as he stood up.

Edward turned and winked before leaving the room.

True to Edward's promise, Alice arrived to their household just about an hour later. Her older sister was buzzing about her quickly approaching nuptials, but made an effort to acknowledge that it was in fact, Bella's birthday.

They met their parents at a local restaurant and the four of them had a lovely meal. Charlie and Renee had been concerned for their daughter ever since Taylor's death, and they were each so pleased to see the newfound happiness Bella seemed to be emanating.

At one point in their conversation, just after their food had arrived, Edward was brought up.

"Are you going out with some friends tonight then, Bell?" her mom asked.

Alice smirked over at her sister, blatantly informing the latter that she knew where Edward was taking her.

"Edward's taking me out somewhere," Bella replied.

"Is Miss Molly going along?" she further inquired.

Bella shrugged. "No, I don't think so."

"Just the two of you then?" Renee asked, the question with more weight than it appeared.

"Just the two of us."

Renee looked over at her husband with thoughtful glance. Charlie did not appear to have much of a reaction, but Bella didn't miss the upward twitch of her father's lip.

And no more was said about it.

When Bella arrived back home later that day, she was met with the sight of two…well, giant ass bouquets. It was really the only description to fit their size which she could find.

"Who are…wow," Bella said as she saw them.

Edward was helping Molly with the last of her lunch, and looked over at her with a grin.

"Since I'm hogging you for the night, they wanted to do something apparently," he supplied.

Bella set her purse down on the counter and looked at the two giant arrangements of flowers. The first one had about every possible color under the sun. It was like someone had spit out a rainbow on some flowers. The other one was more subtle, but incredibly beautiful with whites, creams and greens.

The bright one, she soon discovered, was from none other than Emmett and Rosalie. The card informed her that it was Emmett who personally picked the arrangement and that he hoped she had a "wicked ass" birthday.

The other one also had a card, which was signed Esme and Carlisle. They too wished her a happy birthday and also wrote the other part of their gift was taking their energetic granddaughter off her and Edward's hands for the evening.

"We're ditching the kid for the night?" Bella asked Edward, grinning down at Molly.

"They insisted," he replied with a shrug. "So yeah, the kid is being ditched."

"I'll go pack her things," Bella laughed.

"Already taken care of, birthday girl."

Bella just grinned and shook her head. Edward wiped Molly's face of crumbs and stickiness before scooping her out of her high chair. He set her on her feet and then crouched down in front of her.

"Do you remember what we talked about, pumpkin?" he asked seriously.

She nodded. "Yup!"

"Where are you going to take Mama?"

"To da pawk!" she said excitedly, looking over at Bella with such wide eyed innocence that Bella laughed.

"She's going to keep you entertained while I get things squared away for this evening," Edward said with a smirk.

"Well let's get going, kiddo," Bella said, holding her hand out for the little girl. Edward kissed her head before letting her run over. "Are you going to drive me as well?"

Molly's head bobbed in a nod.

Bella and Molly spent a couple hours in the park, and Bella found herself not wanting to leave, even after Edward had texted her. Molly was at such a young and special age, that Bella wanted to spend all the time with her. She adored the little girl, and watching her grow had been the most exciting and amazing thing she had ever done.

Just when they were getting ready to leave, and Bella was shaking all the sand out of Molly's tiny shoes, an older woman came up to her. Her and her husband had been sitting at a picnic table just a ways away for about an hour.

"I'm sorry, I just have to tell you something," the gray haired woman said in a gushing tone of voice, her hand on Bella's shoulder. "You are such a good mom. I've watched you with this little girl, and I just wanted to tell you that, honey, you're doing it right."

Bella was so taken aback she almost couldn't muster a response. But she thanked the woman in a stunned sort of way, smiling and wishing her a good day.

The comment from a stranger meant more to her than so many praises she'd heard in life.

When Bella returned home, there was an Escalade in the driveway, one she recognized as Esme's. Bella got Molly out of the truck and gathered their things before ushering her inside with the promise of seeing Grandma.

Esme was waiting inside for them, wiping the already clean counter. Molly ran over to her in excitement and was gladly scooped into her arms. Esme gave Bella a tight, one armed hug. "Happy birthday, dear."

"Thanks, Esme," Bella smiled.

"Wait until you see my son," she said conspiringly, a twinkle in her eyes. "I know I'm his mother, but he is quite handsome, especially this evening."

Bella rolled her eyes at the teasing.

"Why don't you go shower and get ready? I'll take care of the little one," she said.

Bella leaned in and kissed Molly's nose. "Be good, honey bunch. Love you!"

"Wuv you!"

Bella left the two Cullen's alone in the kitchen and headed upstairs. Coming down the stairs was Edward, wearing a black dress shirt and pants, the shirt rolled up to his elbows and the top unbuttoned.

"Your mother and her understatements…." Bella muttered as she walked by.

"What?" he asked with a confused grin.

"Oh nothing," she replied, continuing on her way to the bathroom.

It took Bella about an hour to get ready, especially since she was somewhat unsure of what to wear. However, since Edward enjoyed surprising her, this wasn't an uncommon occurrence. She put on a black dress with a sea foam green wrap and heels. She tried to curl her hair, but ended up pinning a lot of it in random places. Much to her surprise, it didn't turn out too badly.

Edward was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs. He turned when he heard her heels hit the top of the wooden stairs. He didn't say anything, but Bella saw him mouth the word "Wow" to himself.

"You look gorgeous," he said when she reached the bottom.

"Thanks," she said with a smile, admiring him as well. He had put on a black suit jacket over the shirt, and in Bella's opinion…it was working for him.

"What's that?" she asked, looking at the cloth in his right fist.

"A blind fold," he replied with a grin.

"You're kidding me," she said disbelievingly.

"No, I'm not," he insisted.

"I'm a publisher, Edward. I can't tell you how many times I read the cliché of the guy blindfolding the girl and then whisking her off to the most perfect evening imaginable."

"Have you ever personally done it?"

"Well…no."

"Then shut up and enjoy it."

"What's enjoyable about having one of your five senses taken away?" Bella asked, turning as he requested.

"You'll see," he promised, securing the soft cloth around her eyes and tying it carefully.

With her hands around Edward's arm, she followed him out of the house and was helped into the passenger seat of the car.

"Have you really read this scenario that many times?" Edward wondered after they had been driving for a few minutes.

"Yes…that and I like giving you shit."

"I've noticed," he chuckled. "And I love that about you."

"You know, some people don't always appreciate it," she replied.

"Some people don't know you as well as I do," he said.

They drove on what seemed to be a highway for about ten more minutes before Bella felt the car slowing down and turning. The car continued to slow until finally it came to a complete stop and she heard him turn the engine off.

"Can I take it off now?" she asked.

"Based on everything you know about me, what do you think?"

"I'd say the odds are, not."

"Smart girl."

Edward helped her out of the car and then wrapped one of his long arms around her tiny waist, pulling him into her. Bella walked with him and through a door which he led her through.

"Mr. Cullen, good evening, sir. If you would follow me," a voice said.

"Does he think you're kidnapping me?" Bella asked in a whisper.

"Well," Edward said close to her ear, "Based on his laughter at your question, I'd say probably no, he doesn't."

Bella blushed and her eagerness to take the blindfold off only rose to a new level.

"Here you are, sir," the man said before his footsteps receded.

"Alright, let me see those eyes, beautiful."

The blindfold fell away from her eyes and Bella blinked to adjust to the sight around her. When she heard a squeak, she turned to the left and gasped.

"You weren't kidding about the zoo!" she exclaimed.

They were standing in the middle of a large patio of sorts, with an entire huge exhibit of monkeys on their left and upon further exploration, elephants on their right, in their own habitat. The golden sun was nearing the sunset, painting everything in a beautiful warm light. In the middle of the patio was a round table, set for two.

"Oh my God," Bella laughed when an elephant sounded.

"Happy birthday, sweetheart."

Bella turned and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, standing on the tips of her toes. "You have got to stop renting out such extravagant venues just for me. It's probably getting expensive."

Edward settled his hands on her waist and smiled. "I can afford it."

"Tell that to Molly's college fund," Bella said with a smirk.

"You're worth it, Bella," he said, kissing her forehead.

Bella looked around and realized they truly had the place entirely to themselves. "I kind of want to dance," she admitted, as their position was so.

"Funny you should say that…" Edward trailed off, a twinkle in his greens eyes. He turned and hollered over his shoulder, "Hit it, Harry!"

There was a moment's silence as Bella looked at Edward in confusion. She was about to ask when a voice came over the speakers near them.

"Happy birthday, Bella. From what I've heard about you, you're really something special. This one's for you."

Bella did not recognize the voice off the top of her head, and was confused until guitar strands sounded.

"So, about that dance?" Edward said, holding his hand out to her with a soft smile.

Bella, let out a breath and looked at him in amazement as the song started to play. She put her hand in his and moved in close as the man sang.

_"It's not always easy, but somehow our love stays strong. If I can make you happy, then this is where I belong….And I'd just like to say, I thank God you're here with me. And I know you too well to say that you're perfect, but you'll see oh my sweet love, you're perfect for me."_

They danced through the soft song, Bella's eyes watering as she listened to the lyrics of the song Edward had had recorded for her. She rested her head against his chest, overwhelmed by how lucky she was.

Once the song was over, Bella looked back at him, a smile on her lips as she looked at him in wonder.

"His name is Ron Pope. He's a client of mine, because of some issues he was having with licensing and Pandora. I asked him if he would record you one of his songs."

"What's the song called?"

Edward smiled.

"Perfect For Me."

The two of them eventually sat down at the beautifully set table and were served dinner. They talked, but Bella found herself mostly laughing. She felt so silly and so in love. There was not a moment during the dinner where she was without a smile. Edward just watched her with a type of adoration which made her heart flutter.

They went and fed the elephants after dinner with some help from a zoo keeper. Bella wished Molly had been there for that, as the little girl would have loved it.

They drove home, and Bella noticed that Edward still wasn't quite relaxed. He looked anxious about something, but Bella didn't comment.

They pulled into the driveway of the farmhouse and Edward helped Bella out of the car. "I have one more gift for you," he said softly.

"Edward, you've already done too much," she protested.

They walked inside the house, Edward ignoring her objection. He flipped on the light switch and then looked over at her. "Close your eyes," he said with a grin.

Bella did as she was told, in an odd twist of events. She heard his footsteps crossing the space of the living room and stop before coming back to her. "Okay, you can open them."

Upon opening her eyes, she saw Edward with a stack of three leather bound books with gold letter etched onto the side. "I didn't want to take this one to a zoo," he explained quietly.

Bella picked up the top book and gasped when she read the side. It read Pride and Prejudice I, Jane Austen. "Oh my God."

Edward watched as Bella opened the front covered and read one of the first pages which read: Printed for T. Egerton , 1813.

"Oh my God!" she covered her mouth with one of her hands.

With wide eyes, she met his gaze. "Edward, this is a first edition copy," she said slowly, looking at him in shock.

He nodded, watching her.

Bella shook her head. "These cost thousands and thousands of dollars."

"It's your favorite book," he said softly with a shrug.

"Oh m God! Oh, Edward!" she cried, her eyes tearing up. Edward set the rest of the volumes onto a nearby table and was able to catch her when she threw herself into him.

Edward wrapped his arms around her tightly. Yes, the books had been expensive and he could have paid for almost a year at Harvard with that money, but she was so worth it. So much more than worth it.

Bella leaned up and met his lips with her own, each of her hands coming to the sides of his face. She kissed him because she was at a loss for words, and some way she needed to show him how much she loved him.

They broke apart gasping. He rested his forehead on hers as he breathed deeply.

"Come upstairs with me," she whispered.

Edward looked at her in surprise, as they had not taken that step. But upon looking at her, and seeing nothing but love, lust and sincerity, he could do nothing but swallow and nod.

Bella laced one of her hands with his own and led him up the stairs. Once they reached the top, he surprised her by scooping her up into his arms and carrying her the rest of the way to the bedroom, where their new, huge ass four poster bed was.

He brought her over to the bed and sank down. She adjusted on his lap, wrapping her legs around his torso and going back in to kiss him with a ferocity he could not complain about. She grinded against him as he cupped her cheeks and helped guide her steady motion.

Bella felt him move his hands to her thighs and run them against her bare skin. He pushed the bottom of her dress higher, letting his fingers brush against her lace panty line. She pressed her lips back against his harder.

He shifted and pressed her back into the bed. She kept her legs wrapped around him and adjusted to the new position by arching her back and pressing further against him. Feeling the contact there for the first time in nearly a year and a half made his eyes roll back in his head. He groaned and thrust back against her.

Bella reached up and grabbed his shirt collar. She unbuttoned the 2nd button down and he was able to yank the shirt over his head after that. Bella ran her fingers over his pecs, her hands trailing over the hard muscles which had developed over the past few months.

Edward captured her lips with his, and her hands traveled to tug on his hair. He moved his hands up her sides before finally cupping her breasts in his hands. He slowly ran his thumbs over her nipples, causing her to let out a soft moan. He kissed down her neck and across her shoulder until he reached where the straps of her dress were. He locked his eyes with her as he pushed the strap down her shoulder. They worked together to get her out of her dress, him sliding it slowly down her body until she was in nothing but panties in front of him.

"You're beautiful," he whispered, knowing no other words.

Bella let out a sigh as Edward leaned forward and sucked on her pink nipple, swirling his over tongue over it and nibbling occasionally. His hand echoed his mouth's movement on the other nipple. She bucked her hips against him at the sensation. He licked his way across her chest to the other nipple and gave it the same attention, as his hand slowly moved down her stomach and touched the scrap of fabric between her legs. He stroked her gently over her panties while she moaned loudly.

"Edward," she gasped as he reached inside her panties and was touching her hot wetness.

She felt him move his fingers in and out of her, slowly at first before moving more quickly. He then bent down and sucked her clit into his mouth, nibbling gently before working with his tongue and fingers. Bella groaned and writhed against him, weaving her hands in his hair and holding him there. She came apart soon after, riding the waves and sensations.

"Holy shit," she breathed as she gasped for breath. Edward moved back up to her and allowed himself to be pulled back in for a kiss. Bella tasted herself on his lips and the thought left her ready for more.

"Would it be cocky for me to say happy birthday after that?" he asked with a smirk.

"Cocky but fully justifiable," she said with a breathless laugh.

Soon after, she was undoing his belt and sliding his pants and boxers down his legs, helping him kick them off as his cock sprang free. She took it in her hands and was quiet as she stroked it. He thrust up to meet her a few times before repositioning himself at her entrance.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked.

She nodded. "I love you, so, so much."

"I love you too, baby," he said, kissing her softly. "Tell me if I hurt you."

She nodded and he slowly entered her. He went slow, knowing his girth and her tininess. She pulled him to her and kissed him, long and slow while he moved inside her in the same way.

Their hips moved together as if they had done it so many times together before. They continued to kiss each other with a slow gentleness which made Bella want to weep.

When she started to tighten around him, he reached between them and fingered her clit as they began to move faster. The pressure built until together they came as he held her hips and kissed her gently.

Edward collapsed onto her, trying to keep some of his weight on his arm as he buried his face in the crook of her neck. Bella continued to breathe heavily, her chest falling and rising with his.

She felt wetness on her shoulder and stiffened immediately.

"Edward?" she whispered, turning to trying and see him with panic.

When he didn't lift his head, she spoke shakily, "Edward, please let me see you."

Unable to deny her anything, he lifted his head and she saw that there were a couple tears which had leaked from the corners of his eyes.

"I'm sorry," she said, her heart clenching. "It was too soon. I'm so sorry."

She stroked his face, wiping away the tears that had betrayed him. She felt a strong urge to cry herself.

"No," he shook his head, "No, it's not that, Bella. Never."

"Are you okay?"

Edward closed his eyes and exhaled through his nose before nodding. Bella continued to soothe her thumbs over his cheeks as she stared up into his vivid green eyes.

"I just, never thought…after Taylor…I never thought I would find it again," he whispered.

Bella nodded in understanding, leaning to kiss one of his closed eyes and then the other.

"You've given me everything, Bella," he said, brushing his fingers over her cheek to tuck a strand of hair behind her cheek. "You're everything to me and I…I don't deserve you, and I don't deserve this second chance and life you've given me, but I wouldn't trade this for anything.

"Thank you, Bella, you've given me so much happiness and I can't imagine another day without you."

* * *

_Find me here, and speak to me. _  
_I want to feel you, I need to hear you. _  
_You are the light, that's leading me, _  
_To the place, where I find peace again. _

_You are the strength, that keeps me walking. _  
_You are the hope, that keeps me trusting. _  
_You are the light, to my soul._  
_You are my purpose, you're everything. _

_You calm the storms, and you give me rest. _  
_You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall. _  
_You steal my heart, and you take my breath away. _  
_Would you take me in, take me deeper now. _

_And how can I stand here with you, _  
_And not be moved by you? _  
_Would you tell me, how could it be, _  
_Any better than this? _  
_Cause you're all I want, you're all I need, _  
_You're everything, everything._  
Everything, Lifehouse

*This song is in addition to Perfect For Me, by the incredible, Ron Pope.

* * *

**AN:** SO...that was a wowza of a chapter. I totally enjoyed writing it tho! Definitely one of my favorites!

For those who were asking about E&B's friends and their knowledge/reaction to their relationship...they're fine with it. They want their friends to be happy, and I didn't think I needed to do a whole chapter about that acceptance, but I probs could have mentioned it! haha

Have an awesome and safe 4th of July for those in the states! Hope you loved this chapter with Sweetheartward! :)


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